Xaious, Master of Time

.... ... ... Wordless... How it's greatness left me, wordless. That was..wonderful.... Good job.

On the dotted line, signs... emiT of retsaM, suoiaX

The following is a story by my friend, one who probly doesn't even think about the possible existance of this site. So, go ahead and read. Give your comments afterwards; I'll be letting him know what people think of this. Because, as it is, I don't think that too many people are even aware of this story's existzace. And one more thing about it: He is a true Earthbound fan, so, naturally, there are a lot of Earthbound things tied into this. And a merry unbirthday to us all! *hugs and kicks for everyone, accordingly*

Standing next to the table covered with bottles of the newly invented and mighty powerful beverage, Xaious had been watching the odd plant move with great tenacity for some time, until it started moving in slow, almost rhythmic circles, even moving to the beat of the music. "Hmm..That's odd.. I wonder if Wyver....Yup, there he is." Xaious spoke softly to Gno Wunne, a Prince who was standing nearby, sampling the drinks. Of course, this was in vain, as Gno sampled the uber strength liquid, and promptly fell flat on his face, drooling. "Ah, very very much nothing less than I expected." Xaious chuckled to himself as he began a calm stride towards the rhythmicly circular motion of silver. As was only to be expected, Wyvern was standing none too far from the base of the mighty plant and ride sensational. Not surprising, considering the incredible profit one can achieve with such a low price. Unfortunately-or was that fortunately?- Xaious didn't have any Geld at the moment. All of his current currency originated in a nation which was only beginning to to grow foundations. And also on another planetoid. In a reality that will, in about five hundred and thirty 9 years (plus 9876 days, 2 hours, 8 minutes, and 39..no, wait, make that 38 seconds, but who's counting?) fall into nothingness, crystalize into the first perfectly circular and 2-dimensional wall mirror plane, and make its way into Celes' basement, one which she doesn't know she has yet..... So, needless to say, it was going to be of very little use to him now. An ever so minutely bit disheartened over his inability to afford the ride seeped into him, but this left when the first accident happened. It wasn't much. very little, in fact. I mean, someone gets hit with a stray limb everyday, right? Exactly. Not a big limb, mind you, a small one. It may have belonged to someone's cat. But someone got hit with a limb, and that's all he needed to convince him to avoid hopping on the ride. "Well, I think I'll just..slowly..back...away...." Xaious whispered aloud to himself, hoping not to have to deal with a money-grubbing Wyvern....granted, any time you dealt with Wyvern, you dealt with a money grubbing Wyvern. And he slowly backed away....

Heh, yeah. School principals and such are all retarded. *laughs* Glad I'm done with high school! W00T!!!!1!!!!!1111!!!oneoneone!!!!11!1

Filesize-1.5MB,The Last BarBeQue, Completed. Took a while, but I've finally gotten it scanned. See, last Tuesday, I finished drawing everything, and began cutting out the apostles. But, class was nearing the end, so I picked everything up, to finish at home. I got home and decided to finish it, so I pulled everything out... A sheet with the lefter-most apostles was missing. It was returned to me on Friday, and yesterday I got around to cutting everything out and pasting it. Then today I scanned it, this morning, and then had to bring it into Photoshop... So, now, there it is, uploaded and everything. Commentos! And, that last one, it sold, and fetched a nice price. I was payed this: A $40 check. The $5.95 I owed for that class was dropped (if not payed, I'd have failed, that kind of thing). And on three separate days, I was given a dollar to go and buy me a drink. $48.95 for 5 hours worth of work. About $9.10 (then change) an hour for that. Ooooohhhh Yeeeaahhhh!!!!!!!!

And that's why we lurv you! *hugs Ayshela*

Xaious wandered around the dancefloor a little while, passing in and out of the flame that he had, inadvertantly, caused, and then decided to head to the drik table for a bottle of the now brand new creation of Almost Draconic Tango Mandarine Bitter-sweet Stomach Mailting Crawfish Wine, as he hadn't actually tasted any. Well, that is to say he had tasted it before, but when he did, the entire world turned to Lovecraftian colors and then woke up the next day pantsless -he could've sworn that Cthulhu himself took that pair of pants - and with an ungodly headache. But regardless of that, he wanted more. Along the way, he noticed Wyvern attempting to get Aleaha to dtink the same horendously powerful liquor, and thought he heard him say something about enough to make the world swin in colors, and thought to himself 'So he wants her to merely have a taste of this stuff, eh?'. So he walked passed this - and thought he heard someone behind him get slapped, and hard too - straight to the table that now housed this uber-strong drink. And he would need a lot of time if he was going to not kill himself on this, and slowed time down dramatically, giving everyone the impression that he was being very very hyper. And also giving the impression that he swallowed a whole bottle in about 20 seconds. It was closer to a month's worth of time, but let them see what they wanted, eh? And this way they couldn't see him doing any of the things he did do. But, when time would resume as normal.... Wyvern would notice a countdown timer in his hand. Stick would notice a very confusing puzzle in his pocket. Minta would notice that her frog was now a sickeningly bright and cute hot-pink color. Finnius would find that he was suddenly adrift in mid air; falling from a great height. And Celes would find that her cat's fur was braided, and herself a fair bit woozy, with a hint of the scent of Vodka and Almost Draconic Tango Mandarine Bitter-sweet Stomach Mailting Crawfish Wine on her dress. And then he let time resume, so he could watch the oddness unfold.

THANK GOD ALMIGHTY!!! Ok. I'm currently in the last class period of my last day of high school, and next thursday is graduation. So then, tonight, tomorrow, or the day thereafter, that's when I should be able to get done completely with the Last Barbeque. If you had any idea how good I feel right now,...oh yeeeaaahhh!!!!!!!! Not to mention that I've vinally got a girlfriend! Thank you, God! And also, don't worry, it's ok. Last, but not least (for this post) I sold that drawing. So, for that, I got this: a $40 check, the teacher paid off my dues for that class ($5.95 for a bag I had to make [home ec]), and also had given me three dollars over three days to buy drinks with. All in all, it sold for the equivalence of $48.95. I have the check in my pocket, so I now have money!

Well, I have the barbeque, but there were a few elaying problems. First: I lost four of the apostles. They've been found. Second: I then lost the disks with the pictures of them: that's been found. Third: I have to attach everything now. Fourth: I then have to scan it... Don't worry, it's finished. I've just been too busy talking to my wuv to do too much.... Expect a good update thursday. Tomorrow's my last day of school (YAYZ!) Me=Senior=gets out of school a week and a half early=gets to sleep late and do more during the day=I WILL update some things much more often. Ok then...

Thank you, thank you. And, since this would make the good thread for it, I'm going to put another image here, one which I just finished drawing and scanning. (ANOTHER five hour piece of work...) Smal image: Large Image (2.1 MB)-LARGE Commentos!

After his 'conversation' with Finnius, during which the accursed vegetable....celery.....was mentioned, Xaious took a short trip backwards in time about an hour to talk to Peredhil, after seeing him on the roof of the conservatory. They spent the nest near hour talking about the physics of cardboard boxes, the probability of creating a successful 'Butterfly Machine' for trans-dimensional travel, and kittens, until he heard himself and Finnius coming up the stairs. He then sped off rather suddenly, after bidding farewell, and decided to start preparing for his little.....surprise....for the other party-goers. But for that, he would need to call in a few favors from a very few ancient beings; dragons, angels, and a greatly aged Wyvern, revived in the distant future. He would a very special, highly aged bottle of Almost Draconic Tango Mandarine Bitter-sweet Stomach Mailting Crawfish Wine. And that hadn't been invented yet. "Celery...*shudders*..WHy did that have to come up....It's been five lifetimes since that day...." He muttered to himself, on his way to the Wyvern of the distant future. "Thank the deities that...vegetable....is going to be extinct within the next few hours." Xaious side-stepped out of the time high-way, and into the 'Caring Home for the Elderly'--a dingy old building that, oddly enough, had a never-burning eternally lit fire in the middle of the floor--and walked over to the cot where Wyvern's greatly aged figure lay, fast asleep and drooling greatly, a couple of Money-Making for the Greedy magazines laying on his belly. "Hey, old lizard, Wyvern, wake up. Or at least point me to the wine-cellar." Xaious whispered into Wyv's scaly ears. Wyvern slowly, weakly, raised a scaly clawed hand and pointed to a dusty old bookshelf. "Thank you. I'll be taking the last of that unique liquor I wanted you to make, ok?" Wyvern muttered something unintelligible, and Xaious, after gently picking up the last bottle of Almost Draconic Tango Mandarine Bitter-sweet Stomach Mailting Crawfish Wine, thanked him, then stepped back onto the Highways of Time. He journeyed back to the days when Dragons ruled more than just the sky; everything. Xaious stepped out of the Highway, and into the middle of the Drayconien Hiy Cort of Laa (Draconian High Court of Law) and bowed to the least decorated member. "Good day, Sir Xai of the Greatly Distant Future. How may we be of service to you this day?" The eldest dragon inquired. "Great Liege, I have come to ask a favor of you and your kind, for the creation and completion of a...well... A spell which will I shall need to activate in a great many ages." "And what such a spell would this be?" The ancient dragon quizzed. "I..A..um...." "Yes, Sir Xai?" The dragon ancient raised a scaled eyebrow. "Well..It is a sp..pell of..re..re.. Revenge...." Xaious stuttered. "Yes, of course. But we had not expected that you would ever seek revenge on any person." The elder being responded. "Well..Tis not a person, but rather an unnecessary and repulsive weed of vegetation that has ruined a slight of mine psyche." "I see. Well, I give you charge over mine dragons then, to make thee thine spell." "And I shall consider the favor repayed." "Yes, you shall." "By my honor." Xaious answered, then turned around and chose out the greatest mages of the Dragon race, with whose help he would make the spell. A spell to remove Celery from Terra, and from the Uni- and Multiverses for all the rest of time. When the celebration within the conservatory was near to ending. Xaious gave the small gathering of great dragons the directions and ingredients necessary to the creation of the the spell bombs, and then removed himself to the days of Angels and Demons, to call in a few hundred thousand favors. Most of these favors were to attain him little more than unique creations of the Angels, but at least half of the remaining favors-from Demons AND Angels-were to spread and hide the spell-bombs, which would have aged to a safe for carrying state by now. He showed them where he would have the Dragon race hide the spell-bombs until ready -the race would have passed on by now, leaving very few of their kind alive- and told them to spread them out throughout the vast lands of Terra, the Uni and Multiverses, and on the moon -just to be safe. Xaious bid the Angels and Demons farewell, then returned to the dragons with information on where they should hide the spell-bombs when they were completed. After he completed this, Xaious returned to the 'present', into the conservatory, and right into the middle of a large crowd of frogs-turned-princesses. "Hmm...I really should've been keeping track of this....."He muttered to himself, when all of a sudden some unknown Pennite-he was unable to get a look- ran up, kissed him, and then ran away when he didn't turn into a frog. "That... O.......k......." Xaious said, a quite surprised look spreading across his face as he stood in the midst of the dance-floor; at that very exact moment, Finnius just witnessed him disappearing at the top of the stairs.

*hugs Ayshela* Thanks!

Sensing that the nearest person may well have been in the midst of a conversation, Xaious slowly walked over to the drinks table. Looking around, shifty eyed and everything one would do when being sneaky, Xaious began pouring Vodka into every drink that wasn't sealed closed. "We're going to have some very happy party guests in a while..." He mused to himself, then taking a swig of his own liquor. When an unknown Pennite came up to the table for a drink, Xaious stopped pouring the 'happy juice' and took another swig. The Pennite took himself a glass of semi-transparent blue liquid, and began walking away. As he took his first step, he also took his first taste of teh liquid. Afterwards, he could not walk straight if his life depended on it. Of course, as such things go, his life DID depend on it. After a few woozy and lopsided steps, in the direction of and then into the giant moshpit, the Pennite tripped on his own feet, falling face-first to a very important meeting with the floor. And then the Mosh pitters, unaware, trampled his body to a lifeless bloody pulp. Luckily enough, though, his body spontaneously caught fire and rapidly burnt itself to an ashen powder that would one day cause life to start after the world was devoid of humanoids. But before the world would ever go empty as such, a fair number of Mosh pitters also caught fire, considering where they were in relation to the burning pennite, i.e., right on top of his lifeless corpse. And no one, not one of them, really liked their new-found flaming clothes. But they still began to run around, showing off the blazing attire to the entirety of the Pen, eliciting such comments as "Hey, nice clothes", "We don't want any", and the ever popular "AARRGHHH!!! It burns!". Seeing this, and all from just one super-spiked blue drink, Xaious smiled to himself. It'd been a while since he had a laugh so good. Not to mention how much he loved watching things spontaneously combust. "Now then, THAT is what I call a party trick!" Xaious chuckled slightly, taking another sip of the great substance he held in his hand. Looking around now, he began to assess the situation. More than half of the people already inside were yet engaged in some form of conversation or activity, the vast majority in the Mosh Pit of Doom. He witnessed one member gaining clothes of vines, and decided it best not to contemplate how much that had to tickle, how much discomfort it had to have caused. He beheld the Entrance of Orlan, and couldn't help but feel joyed with the great crashing and destruction that was his arival. And then his eyes caught the twin figures of Wyvern and Finnius, both standing on a poor and unfortunate Twister board. And then he noticed their lack of actually doing anything, decided that was where he should be, and started towards them, Vodka in hand and steel-toed boots on foot, with their new and polished spikes.

Heh, thanks again. As far as cartoonist..eh..I used to draw almost nothing but anime type characters... And, so that I don't have to start a new topic for it... the finalized version of... The God Machine (final completed version)

And thanks be unto thee for liking it, and then again for commenting! *hugs*

Thank you, sirs Predhil and Aleaha. I'm glad the pics loaded quickly for you. Heh, manlier than thou..

Upon receiving his official invite to the celebration, Xaious began his quest towards the Conservatory. He had not quite read the entirety of the invite, but neither did he know all that well his way around the Pen. But, in his best efforts, he set off for the conservatory, a pathetically small glimmer of hope within that he would actually NOT find the place. It was not a distaste of Almost Draconic brand products that made him wary. Rather instead, it was a profound sense that someone would be there to lock him up. I mean, really. With all the cheap imitation brand products from Mexico, what with their cheaply plastered on 'Almost Draconic labels on them, there had to be someone out there looking for him. Nevermind the fact that, to some, it actually tasted better than the actual stuff.... He walked for seemingly endless minutes, until remembering that he had, subconsciously, slowed time by greater than half its speed, until he came upon the closet he'd been using for a home for quite some time. "You really should hurry up, you know." He said to himself. "Yes, I know. But..What did that invite say about underwear?" Xaious replied. "I don't know. Just grab something from that pile over there. And not the panties." "Now, Xaious, no way I'm giving those away for anything. Don't you remember?" He inquired at himself. "Um..no, not really..." Xaious choked out, eyes shifting. *sighs* "You DO have a craptacular memory." And he then laughed, a slight laughter, at himself. "Well then, what's so special about them?" "They..belonged..to...to...*sniffs*" "Oh, fine then! Get the lousy old briefs from the bottom of the pile!" "NO!" Xaious sighed again. "Something better than that!" "Ok then..How about those odd boxers of Lovecraftian colors?" "With the Summer Fun Cthulhu patch on the rear?" HE asked himself. "Yes, those..I really should stop talking to myself..." "Yes, you should" A completely different voice in his head said. "James Reid, butt out. You've not been introduced yet." "Yes sir!" And the voice disappeared. Xaious sighed once more. All this to find a decent pair of underwear, and his friend from far off had to butt in to boot. Laughing slightly to himself, and at himself, Xaious made haste to leave his home closet, Lovecraftian boxers in hand, and seek out the Conservatory. Due to his deep-seated disliking of asking for directions, Xaious began to aimlessly wander the halls of the pen, because it would have been best to ask someone. After what seemed like another eternity, and coming across some random Pennites moving at the speed of moldy Almost Draconic cheese..well, slower, in fact, Xaious remembered that he was still moving with time slowed, and greatly too. Fortunately for him, though, a map floated to his feet when he restored the flow of time to it's normal pace. He picked it up and looked it over, turning it around until it appeared to be right-side up. "And if it is upside-down, I can always walk on the ceiling." He mused to himself, then lost his smile upon the rememberance that he could not, in fact, walk on ceilings. "Ah well, here goes nothing..." Xaious froze time for the last time for quite some time, and ran with infinite acceleration to what was marked as the conservatory on the map. When he arrived at what was marked as the Conservatory, Xaious stopped, walked to the door, and opened. Only to be assaulted by a few hundred brooms. "Cursed...broom closets..."he muttered to himself. "That always happens to me..." Pulling himself up from the tangle of broken broom handles and the occasional mop, Xaious looked around, until he spotted a door guarded quite heavily, with lights and what may have been music seeping through cracks, and a few lines with a length ungodly and a width unholy. Dusting himself off, he unpauses time, dodges a few thousand odd looks in his direction, what with the sudden appearance of a few hundred brooms, where once was nothing, and casually strolls over to the exclusive pennite entrance. "Underwear, now." Came the less than pleased voice of a troll, one who had been collecting underwear for a while, not counting all the tricks and foolery of many other mages. "Yes, here you go." Xaious replied, handing Melba the Lovecraftian Cthulhu boxers. "Please, don't hurt yourself trying to figure out the colors. They're far from the normal spectrum." Xaious entered the room, smiling as he passed a dumbfounded troll that was, undoubtedly, attempting to decipher the colors. A few steps into the room, he bent down to make sure his steel-toed boots were tied tight enough. Sensing that they were tight enough, and that he was blocking an entrance, Xaious walked over to the nearest person he could find. "So then, what's we got to drink?"

Heh, wow.That was the first thing I thought of when I saw his name. Let's hear it for not finding that work of literature until afterwards...

Yeah, I have made a sculpture, of a bassist. I have some video of it.... And then I have some images, too. Enjoy, and let me know your thoughts... OR ELSE!!!

Thanks for the comments. Yes, I did indeed not want to say what was the cause/reason for this, it wasn't directed toward anyone. Other than myself. And..my mind talks to itself in an incredibly odd way.... Thanks for enjoying it, you in no way, whatsoever, discouraged me.. That's hard to do.

Yes, hang around if you like. We have a great quantity of imported, cheap Mexican made imitation Almost Draconic Liquor! *passes the imitation stuff around for all*

Merry birthdallocin day, splendiferous elder Ozymandias, the fantabulous. Have a great and joyful one, and, yet again..... Drinks are on me! Oh, yeah... *hands Ozy a giftwrapped pair of Eterna Ly Flaming Steel-Toed boots* I'm sure you'll love them!

You heard me, now enjoy yourself on this day of your..wait...crud, I've forgotten the age..ah well... Drinks for everyone!

*Dances a happy, steel-toed boot infested dance with Ayshela, which leaves a few innocent bystanders rubbing their shins* Fun times for all!