jonathan_wolfe

What the?

What happened?

[Metal Scream]

Preparation

Getting ready, packing up

moving out, marching outward

checking, cleaning, testing, hoping

Anticipation

Searching

Taking point, scanning, heartbeat

Pressure, must see... see them first

Darkness, the metal and the dark,

something dripping...

Panic

Chaos, noise... lights in the dark,

reformation, running... fighting...

ringing in my ears, where are they?

taking aim, raining hell....

Brimstone

They fall... dead?

sharp pain... flash in my eyes...

I become one of the many...

Peace.

I understand your comments, Some of my poems (Like Sideways) don't quite get there as well as this one. They're good, but I like this one the best... inspired by? Well me sitting inside my hot apartment while it's cold and wet outside.

Gives a loud hoot and holler

Woohee, I love this... You've really pulled from all of them beautifully!

It's like reading all of them.. sort of.. but different.

Kudoes for taking from -two- of mine.

This was truely a group effort.

Peredhil - your point about self-censorship rings true, my opinion is that the media has been doing it for years, tweaking things till they ring just right... and quite fakely to my ears. It seems to be seeping into our daily lives.

This poem stands against that mode.

An argument between two people, abstracted to a high level of irony, this is good stuff. I also like the very smooth ryhming scheme.

Keep it up.

I've never understood, for example, the narcisscism (Or is it just a portrayed narcisscism?) of francophones over anglophones.

The reason being when I come across warm spirited people like Lady Celes here.

Viva la... ou... quelque chose

It's what makes us feel alive, to laugh, to cry, to love and hate.

The human condition, well done Blondemoon! Applauds heartily.

[Quartz Bell]

Cave

Dark, always dark

Chanting, soprano, panting, rythmic... melodious

white, twisting... what is it?

Otherworldly

Revealed

Pale, gazing... vengful? judgemental?

rather, truth seeking...

after me...

plunging...

Darkness, again.

Swimming, swirling... treading...

deep, can't breath

ledge

salvation.

Struggling back, towards

the light, her face

I see now...

I see her....

Sadness.

Humiliation.

Despair.

This is still my favorite one for obvious reasons. Expect my new two or three to continue the general topic and style

Up hare in Ca-nee-da, thar ain' sucha thing as ar viney swinger doodle.

It's not so much that as...

There aren't any vines within a few thousand miles of this place.

Alas no.

But that didn't stop Gyrfalcon from trying.

Never forget that... yup.

I think he still has nightmares from that experince.

Make this lady a member... now!

This is really good stuff, a thought back to old days and a cry from hell.

Jonathan gives Rune a space in his forest settlement for Rune to come to and get some peace and quiet from time to time

Hope you can smile for real someday.

Bien, tres bien.

Merci beaucoup par le translation anglais. Mon francais est encore plus mauvais que Cyril

J'admets, j'ai utilisé un traducteur pour une partie de ce poteau, mais les tranlators anglais-français se sont améliorés.

Presque.

I really like the length allowed in these custom titles

Jon corrals a bunch of little 's into the ranch

And no, I'm not going to show you each one. This corral is run by a representative system!

I am that is!

This ones from the old forum, I thought it worth bringing back into the light again, if not for Rune's sake, then for the enjoyment by everyone else here.

Here we go,

[Dreaming Real]

Darkness

Wandering, sleeping, predawn, city

the spires, towers, beams, heights

the hell above, the skykiller, domination...

supremacy

Lightness

Consciousness sitting, metropolis morning

the deeps, cells, badlands, depths

the hope imbued in all

limitlessness

Blood

Blade, slashing out, intent... realization

the sight, the crimson, flesh and saber

the final rest, incogruence,

is this what's it like to die?

War

Noise, a flash, running and hiding, falling

faceless men, gunfire, missiles streaking... hit

the wait

i don't want to die...

Dreaming real...

Dreaming metal...

dreaming blue...

dreaming hope...

Jonathan laughs and thanks his old friend Gyr for the feedback, then Rune the newcomer for responding to ever darned new thing in the Banquet hall.

"Indeed, I got what I seeked, especially with the help of Rune. I got my feedback and it's given me the confidence to continue my work and go at it like never before."

He rexamines the poem for himself, appreciating his work

"Did you know this was originally a driving poem? It only turned into a dogfight at the third or fourth verse, when it seemed to just morph into it. I guess I like dogfights more than racecars. Doesn't help that I'm addicted to Macross Plus, those were the best dogfights you'll ever see in anime."

Jonathan grins and goes back to his poem writing with a strange exclamation,

"ph34r th3 p03t1c 0n3s"

Well, I am far from being finished, I'm going to repost my Dreaming Real poem, then try and go back to that old style that I had, see if I can have any success that way.

Here's hoping.

As the great Dave Spivey said:

I, LIKE IT!

I love this stuff, which reminds me, Gyr and a few of the people here did a rap that pertained closely to my story, whoever did that, thank!

Rap poem thingydoddles (What do you call then?) I've finally grown to appreciate the cadence and "bounce" that they have. Rap has excellent flow and this paticular entry shows that.

what happened next, cuz it happened so fast I cant type in hypertext

Thanks Rune...

I want to go over this one, it's my attempt at something that just doesn't click mentally and I think I've acheived that.

It needs some work though, I agree, making it longer is something I should try, provided people can take more of this poems near insanity.

[Limit]

Start smooth, moving along

simple, easy... cruise

accelerate, kickback... gravity

gravity the wrong way

turning, faster... heavy, sliding

back again, the cruise

so much easier

back again, nothing comfortable

at seven gee

loops, barrel rolls, cut-fades

the dogfight

white tracers, smoking trails

impact...?

too far... can't.. yes..

Silence.

*edit* I know this may sound offensive, but I just recently got creative and started writing poems like crazy... I'm hungering for feedback, what I received was very truely positive... but I need more.. please!

Jonathan go sleep now...

The style, using a word

then a paragraph about it

Tis a good thing,

a wonderful thing...

Very well wrought.