Falcon2001

I've been there, and I know how you feel. Good poem, I'm keeping this one in my collection.

Cioden Darkeye

 

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Really good one for being so danged short, really really good!

 

Cioden Darkeye

 

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Really good poem, but that genetic line is a tad weird. Good stuff!

 

Cioden Darkeye

 

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Hmm...This story always caught me as fairly stupid...I mean, they fall in love, then die, what, three days later? I mean, goddamnit, that's some dumb people.

 

Meet, kiss, @#%$, and then die.

 

What a life.

 

Cioden Darkeye

 

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Very very excellent work, Yui! I haven't had the pleasure to read much of your work, but this easily fulfills all of the expectations I had from someone of your talent. I have heard so much about your work, and I see very little, but I enjoy what I see.

Cioden Darkeye

 

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Attacked by mutants!

Evil 'lol's eaten

Falcon saves the day!

 

Once more I write this

And now, I fear, I'm so stuck

Can't stop the haiku!

 

Crash, leap and slice down

Will, colliseum master

Bows to audience

 

Eyes wired open

Too much Tales of Phantasia

Sleep? Not until death.

 

Deeper deeper down

Into the Moria mines

I forgot ring, AAAAAAARRRGGGHHH!!!

 

I know the ending

To all of the stories she told

Is it a new end?

 

Should I ask her out?

Be brave and attempt a life?

Nah, my life is fine.

 

 

Cioden Darkeye

 

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Vincent, good work, but cut the crap with chris. I've been talking to him, and you haven't been the greatest friend in the world. If you really want to talk to him, go out of your way and do it, don't just expect him to change his life around to suit your needs. Sometimes you have to be a friend too.

 

Good poem, again.

Cioden Darkeye

 

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I really enjoyed this poem, and felt a lot of emotion coming from it...which isn't really saying all that much because all of your work is HIGHLY emotional, drawing the reader into it.

 

Keep up the good work!

Cioden Darkeye

 

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Freeform again...strange for me, but I like writing this way.

 

Snowing

colder than the ashes in the hearth

Raining

harder than the heart in my chest

Blowing

faster than the end of days

Ending

Sharper than the sword in my mind

 

Immediate closings

to a life of disaster

one without cause

or meaning to hold

life's greatest achievement

comes in the closing

a bitter feud with almost no

end

 

So gather up your hearts

and toss them in the fire

give yourself into the world

don't mind all the fire

it's just an illusion

It won't burn if you believe

hollow faith

full of holes and dead ends

trapping all of us

to forward it's own ends

so listen to the prophet

and give yourself to the

flames

and hope that your soul will forgive

 

Immediate closings

to a life of disaster

now give yourself up

and hope for the best...

Cioden Darkeye

 

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Very very good stuff here, Rashash!

 

Good god I hope I spelled your name right...but anyway, one thing I must applaud you on is the fact that the poem wasn't just Love, Dove, and Above rhyming over and over again...I swear, I get really ticked off at those poems.

 

Good poetry, you're progressing quite well.

Cioden Darkeye

 

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*Falcon backs up a few steps from Andrea*

 

Okay, now that's just plain creepier than hell. Good Poem...but creepier than hell.

 

*Falcon maintains a good six feet between the two of them and looks at her rather strangely*

 

o_O

(Conversion Confusion, this is the first post)

 

 

Well, due to inspiration by the talented Porcelain (Sorry dear, but Heart like a Hole is too long to type all at once, so I'll just call you Porcelain), I'm going to try another freeform poem...not going to promise much, but it'll be there.

 

 

 

They ask

Why I wear black

And I laugh and tell them

Some inane answer

designed

to keep them away

but would they

shrink?

If they knew the truth?

Of my broken promises

And the lies

And the hatred boiling up inside?

Would they run from me

And my apopleptic rage

If they knew where it came from?

If they knew it was directed at them

And their smiles and laughs

And games that they play?

Strange things happen

In the mind of the damned

 

They ask me why I'm depressed

And I smile and nod

And reassure them I'm fine

But would they care?

If they knew

That the depression sinks deeper

Although it's not there?

With claws of ice and bone

That shatter my hope?

Would they care

If they knew that the world

was as bitter as it really is?

If I lifted the curtain,

opened a few

eyes

to the blinding hate that is

LIFE?

Would they smile then?

Or would I be joined in my misery

By a few more enlightened

Damned souls

Stranger things have happened

In the land of the blind.

Cioden Darkeye

 

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*smiles smugly at the other pen members*

 

SEE! Now who else could write something with this...this...

 

*Waves arms around, looking for a word*

 

...incredibly cool stuff. Yeah, that'll have to do.

 

Anyway, I'm amazed again at your vividity (Is that a word?) and imagery in this...wonderful use of words in this.

Cioden Darkeye

 

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I knew it was you, the name made me think, and the poetic style is the same, but I thought you registered under Porcelain.

 

Anyway, welcome to The Pen!

I've always felt this way and never been able to truly express how it feels, I thank you sincerely for this poem.

 

And about your name, no matter how cold or evil you think you or anyone else is, there's still a capacity for life.

 

Trust me.

 

I know.

Cioden Darkeye

 

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No, this isn't a cover of that one girl's song, Sweet Surrender. This is *Another* Sweet Surrender, there's another word tacked to the front, and the song's different.

 

Actually, this is to a certain person, but geez, I hope this gets taken the right way and I don't get slapped.

 

Oh, and by the way, this song kinda sounds like The Chemicals Between Us (I don't know who it's by, I think it's bush)

 

 

Another sweet surrender

lying in her arms next door

Letting go of all my misery

And holding her in turn

We know of each other's flaws

And all of the loneliness

And we both fully understand

We're too far gone to bless

We've both faced the chaos

And stood at the mirror before

Clutching a knife in one hand

And staring deep into horror

They call me a sinner

They call her a whore

We both know the truth though

We're ever so much more

 

Can you know the answers

The the questions never asked?

Can you face the darkness

With a soul so sweet and pure?

Can you see the emptiness

That lies behind the eye

Can you taste the madness

In the mind of one that did endure?

 

Another sweet surrender

Lying there and talking long

About all the things that need said

Without fear of being wrong

And now I understand the words

'Friend' and 'Loyalty'

Where once there was a void

Now peace is all I can see

I know I'll always be there

Until the sad and bitter end

I know that I will be there

I'll be there for my friends

To all of you that shunned me

To all of you that pushed me down

I'm leaving you for the last time

To your petty life you are bound

 

Can you feel the beauty

In a person marred with life?

Can you touch the cold space

In the pretty little lies?

Can you see the future

In the everpresent past?

Can you feel the hatred

In a man betrayed once more?

 

Another sweet surrender

One that left me stronger

Dying in that place

Another sweet surrender

Health is so much sweeter

When you're dying in that place

Another sweet surrender

I cannot believe

All she's done for me

 

I don't understand it

I just don't understand it...

And I don't care

 

 

Cioden Darkeye

 

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Tired though you may be

Yourself is the best you can

By imitating others you steal a soul

And leave yours without a plan

We're all mortally tired

with no chance of recompense

And no way to ever return the favor

the those that left the dents

So we just keep on moving

Defying reality to spit once more

Into the eyes of the decievers

And knock them down to the floor

 

 

 

Always keep hope, and always be yourself, no matter what.

Cioden Darkeye

 

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This is a poem that I'm singing as I go, and it's coming along fine so far...

 

If this comes out sounding like it's being written about someone, it's not, believe me.

 

Heck, this isn't even about me.

 

Well...no. It is about me, but the events contained herein aren't exactly about me. But some of it is me, in my rawest and most barren form.

 

 

 

Life's bitter mysteries

Why'd they mean so much to me?

A simple task and answers too

I'm leaving me alone with you

There's way too much time without hope

And not enough time to sit and mope

I'm losing all my sanity

Too late to care, too little free

 

Life's bitter mysteries

Why'd they go and beat on me?

Why's my best friend crying alone?

Why's the repo man on the phone?

Why's the world full of misery?

Why's the end the beginning?

I'm walking out of my back door

And falling down on the cold floor

 

Life's bitter mysteries

Why'd they leave me suffering?

What's with all the stupid jokes?

What's with all the rum and cokes?

The alchohol, the drugs, the whore

The knowledge that I couldn't store

Why's the heat feel so like ice,

And why's your body feel so nice?

 

Life's bitter mysteries

Why'd they kill me and then leave?

Why's my mother so damn afraid?

Why're my friends all getting laid?

What's with the moon alone and bare

I touch you softly, caress your hair

I always loved you, just not like that

A friend, a friend, I owe you that

 

Life's bitter mysteries?

Why'd they fill me with disease?

Why's my blood worth so much to you?

Why do you care if I go through?

Straight on through to the other side

A release found only in suicide

But once more the knife falls down

And clatters on the hollow ground

 

 

Cioden Darkeye

 

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Bunnies, Raist

 

Welcome to the pen, BPO, err...unless you're already been here a lot...which could theoretically happen, considering who I am.

 

Oh well...

 

Good poem.

Cioden Darkeye

 

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Jess, these are good poems, and I hate to think of the pain you're going through to write these. I wish I could offer you a little bit of solace and peace, and I'll do anything I can.

 

You know that.

 

Once again, really good poetry here.

Cioden Darkeye

 

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This is to the girl for me, wherever and whenever she is.

 

I've dreamed about you a lot before

You run through my mind like rain

Without a message or a lore

But from hurting me you refrain

And I love you so much it hurts

Even though I'll never know you

Maybe we'll meet and then we'll flirt

And then I'll say to you

 

You're the woman of my dreams

The one that's kept me awake late at night

You're the woman of my dreams

So nice to meet you, can I love you right?

 

You're so beautiful under the moon

In a star-filled imaginary sky

You're brighter than the sun at noon

And I'll never ask you why

You love me, cause I'll know it's true

The way that we love each other

But you don't exist so I'm so blue

Guess I'll go back to my druthers

 

You're the woman of my dreams

The one that's beautiful and kind

You're the woman of my dreams

So sad to have to say goodbye

 

But you're a fiction of my dark mind

Nothing but imagination and lies

And so I'll wait for you in kind

And sit alone and always cry

You're a nice tale, but not so true

A myth or a legend to me

So I'll keep dreaming about you

And how you might complete me

 

You're the woman of my dreams

So sorry you don't really exist

You're the woman of my dreams

And now I'm feeling selfish

 

I sit alone at night and dream

Of a lovely woman, that's you

Who's always kind and never mean

Life sure can be so really cruel

So I guess I'll keep dreaming

About the distant future

And what it might hold for me

And what it might not...

And what it will not hold

for

me

 

 

Cioden Darkeye

 

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Duh he writes the best stuff, that's why he's peredhil with a !!!P!!!...

 

Hmm...no.

 

!!!P!!!eredhil just doesn't quite work...so I guess I'll just end up going back to the worship-peredhil-he-is-your-god-phase.

 

Also, this one rules but I refrained from reading it due to the title, worried it might get me kinda depressed or something...then I remembered that most people don't write as depressive as I used to...so I read it, and I agree, it's a wonderful example of poetry...

 

And once again Jess, duh, he's !!!P!!!eredhil.

 

Cioden Darkeye

 

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Ack my good lord up above, I can't believe I missed this one...wow.

 

I can really identify with this one, since my risk-taking skills is limited to fearlessly drinking milk a day after the date on the bottle...other than that, I'm a bit of a wuss...oh well, I think I'll take this poem to heart, walk right up to that cute girl in band and...

 

probably trip, smash some very expensive instrument and end up owing the school $1,200.00 for repairs.

 

Wow, see what I mean?

Cioden Darkeye

 

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(Conversion Confusion, this is actually the seventh post in this thread)

 

 

Here's my 5-7-5s

 

Falcon laughs aloud

While flinging fireballs around

At his classmates' heads

 

In my mind and soul

Music lives and breathes in joy

The mind of a poet

 

Sugar sugar lots of it

All I need is found in pop

7-UP, you're my god

 

Shapely curves always

Pale as milk with heart of steel

I love thee, guitar

 

Cioden Darkeye

 

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OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

SHINY!!!

 

lol, good poem, I like your work. Keep writing this kinda stuff!

Cioden Darkeye

 

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