Harmonious_Echos

Q:Is it realistic? Or is it coming off as a corny teen movie?

 

A: I think it's very origional and definately I haven't read any poem structured this way before. I can see why you would think it's sounds like a corny teen movie because you use these terms of endearment "My Dearest, Darling, Sweetheart, My Life, My Love, My Heart." and etc, but to be honest you can't be bias against young people. Old geezer like us use these words too! We just used them more maturely ;

 

On the other hand the poem is very "bouncy" as it toss ideas so rapidly to the reader's face, and I do feel I'm too old to keep up. So maybe.

you use them more maturely.... I love that....

*ahem* Well I think it is good the way it is, too. I agree with q, it's a little 'teen dreamy' at first, and then closes more solidly, realistically, but hey, that's the way that Love is supposed to be, right? Starting off as a dreamy steamy huggy in-your-face PDA sort of thing, then slowly growing up and out into a sweeter, longer lasting thing....

LOL stargazer

 

a stalking ninja

put me in a sack of dirt

now I'm so lonly

 

can you say "L A M E"

Love the post....love the creative response from wyvvern...good stuff.

(alternate Ego kicks in)THIS SITE RULES *dances in circles on the ceiling* AND I JUST HAD MTN.DEW!!!

Alternate ego backs off...(OK going to go stick a sack over my head now)....

*sneaks back in to murder the cheese* STAB STAB STAB FIREBALL LIGHTNINGBLAST MUUAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!!! http://www.themightypen.net/public/style_emoticons/default/ohmy.gif *ahem... *sneaks back out*

Duh, COLLAGE, as in the art of putting together a picture from several small peices of other pictures or objects...NOT "college", aka a place where the government attempts to coagulate our creative minds into one blah society...Kind of like they're building a collage...uh, dictionary anyone? heh...

I like this poem. It reminds me of the Anime 'Evangelion'...the part where the girl's spare bodies are blown into a million bits and swim around in the cloning tank giggling insanely...uh, I'm going to go stick my head in a blender now. (exits)

Ehrm....is that a poem? it kind of reads like one...but there is no structure...

I like it...it makes me think about a statue in winter, or maybe like Michaelangelo's studious young man...I think it was michaelangelo... heh. Anyway nice mental imagery

I have way too many poems to post in here but here are a few of my better ones...

 

 

Memorial to P.J.

one gun

one bullet

one life

What would we give to see you again?

You should be twelve,

To swim in the creek,

Bring home frogs in your pockets,

eat toasted marshmallows, and later,

to catch fireflies…

Instead,

I jump at every closing door,

every knock, every footstep,

a single gunshot echoing and re-echoing in my mind.

Where are the muddy hands, now, to wash?

The ragged pant-knees to patch?

Gone, all, but a great dark stain on the carpet

Life-blood, too precious to wash away.

Dear God,

What were you thinking?

 

 

A dream of Sun and Day

 

Once in a dream,

in spacious darkness

a maze of tombs trapped me,

pacing endless circles

in the quest for freedom—

While all around me, crumbling

symbols of humanity stood,

lost souls, petrified with a clinging evil

easy to sense but not to flee.

 

Once in a dream,

Through dulling senses, faint,

I hear a church bell’s toll—

see the resentful darkness parting

for a living emerald,

a Lady, flooding her life-light

through every statue in the tomb—

but I, in seeing such joyous abandon,

fled cowering in unreasoning fear.

 

Once in a dream

I hid in my cowardice,

still the Lady Sunday found me

took my hand, and led me

gently to a door.

Then I awoke, and seeing

morning sunshine, knew-

she had not gone, but merely changed her form

to light my way once more.

 

Published or Bust!

 

Inspiration is a fleeting thing-

any writer knows that.

My words fall like teardrops onto the page

and I chop down my dreams

to fit proper rhyme schemes...

Can I help it if "the Moon in June"

sounds better than "the Moon in September"?

Polish, They say, polish.

"Poetry is an art easy to dabble in;

hard in which to reach true perfection"

Well!!

I don't believe in sonnets--

So there, Shakespeare!

My words flop and whither as I write

fading to a façade of grandeur-

So like the simple truth behind them;

And in my mind nightmare Editors

whisper through sullen lips,

"She cannot write!

She never will! She is a child"

And so I'm here,

scribbling down this bit of myself

for me to see;

I'll show myself.

I will-I will!

I must.

 

Fairie Touch

 

If you wash your face in dew

On the first of may--

I’ve heard that you’ll receive the Touch--

Fairie beauty for a day.

The story goes, or so they say

The Fairie Touch is sure

To make a lass Queen of the May

But then, she must endure

The many many many

Compliments, and remain humble--

Or else, the Queen of Fairies frowns

and swears to bring her trouble!

 

Northern Lights

 

Cold, cold fire running

Running rippling free

Shining river-sea of light

Over my head

Over my dreams tonight

 

Raise, raise my spirit

Spirit harmonies free

A symphony of sight

Into my eyes

Into my thoughts tonight

 

Night, night starlit rainbows

Rainbows shimmering free

A lasting memory bright

Into my heart

Into my soul tonight

 

Dusk To Dawn

 

Night-fall

Night-fall Dark-fall Eve-fall

Catch the day’s dying breath

Savor it

Wrap yourself in mystery…

 

Sky-bright

Sky-bright Star-bright Moon-bright

Clinging skeins of silken radiance

Weave them in

Weft of ancient magic…

 

Cloud-red

Cloud-red Blood-red Morn-red

Mourn the gently dying night

With fevered dancing

Pulse of day’s beginning…

 

Gecko Dreams

 

My Listless Life...Ah, comforts fount in dreaming!

I lie like the gecko in the sun,

still, waiting for Fortune to flutter by,

yet I am burned by Cruel Experience--

I strive only to slumber in peace.

So deep, my dreams, and so full of wonders--

as if I wander nightly, free, in Paradise

and I fall willing prey to such forgetful bliss.

Fortune, flutter by--

I care for naught but sleep.

Can our awakened world be so bright?

Our reality, be more fulfilling?

I cling to sweet illusions, hoping

that in a place where dreams are real

old wounds can, maybe, heal,

and joy, jewel-faced, may gleam once more

within my reach.

 

Evening on the farm

 

The hay is up, the cows are in…

the pigs are grunting in the sty…

The barn-doves mourning with their kin…

the smell of cooking wafting by…

 

For now at last my day is done...

so softly sings the robin near...

and through my window sets the sun...

thus entertaining eye & ear...

 

Such sweetness settles round about…

when twilight stains the glass-clear sky…

and labor-weary we all bow out…

and listen to Night's new lullaby…

 

 

 

Gray Day

 

The world is sad today—

Gray skies,

Dove-colored eyes

Through which the soul of the world

Can be seen, weeping.

And my soul, too,

Is swept along

In a current of stormy tears.

To view great sorrow

Only brings us pain…

Why, then, does it bring such comfort,

joining the rain?

 

 

Twilight Puzzle

 

Wind blows, Trees rustle far away—

Through your window I can hear the night

Bring me a candle, hold me closely

As I flicker, cup your hands about me…

And I’ll find a way to follow

The scent of your body, sweet and dim

Twilight Puzzle, do I fit in?

 

Thunder rumbles, doves call out in fear—

A wisp of lilacs’ deep perfume

All of the world is singing, softly,

As I listen, will you wait with me?

I would give you all I cherish

But the look on your face, so cruelly kind

Twilight Puzzle, must I be blind?

 

Star-light in sunset, frost hinted in the air—

The tang of earth, an odorous pall

Lifting the curtain, watch the moon rise

So you linger, to let me think I’m free

Still I cling to rotted fantasy

Until your body blocks the light

Twilight Puzzle, how can I fight?

 

 

After the beginning

 

Before the storm breaks,

I sit melancholy in the lamplight-

Fragile light that whispers

dark memories into my mind.

A cool breeze stalks by,

tossing my hair and hissing

softly through the trees.

I have survived one storm-

the angry roars like wind

the flashing eyes, the threatening rumbles;

the bitter curses falling like rain-

and so I sit, and wait as one storm passes

and another begins.

THat was funny...

1. [male pennite]Cryptomancer

2. [female pennite]Harmonious_echos

3. [adjective]Slim

4. [another female pennite]Kikuyu

5. [adjective]Shiny

6. [item of clothing]Slippers

7. [adverb]gracefully

8. [almost dragonic product]Dark Creature Snake Oil

9. [adjective]dirty

10. [creature]Purple People Eater

11. [adjective]keen

12. [body part]Wrist

13. [yet another female pennite]Dagorram

14. [sickness]Black Plague

15. [event]Birthday Party

16. [shape]Octogon

17. [speed]369.5 MPH

18. [feeling]joy

19. [body part]nose

20. [game]Egyptian Rats