Researcher

He rummaged through the little cage, finally finding the guinea pig's nest. He made a mental note to clean the cage after this last run of experiments, and groped around the nest for its owner. His fingers brushed downy fur that trembled, and he caught it gently. Professor Hassium kept his fingers away from the little guinea pig's teeth, and examined him thoroughly. He took some special care with the belly, making sure there were no coloring in there. The guinea pig squirmed, almost as if he were ticklish. "Well, now let's see how you react to this..." He scribbled some notes on a notebook. He picked the guinea pig by the scruff of his neck, and quickly dumped him into a greenish solution. The little animal squirmed and gasped, and was dumped into it twice more before being put under a warm infrared light. Hassium scribbled more notes, nodded in a satisfied way, and smiled. "There there... you don't have to make such a dejected face, you like baths. And you aren't even green..." Interesting, he seems to have strong resistance to dying substances. Third time he has come out of a colored solution without even a hint of coloring on his fur. It might be interesting to make a DNA study on him... Almost gently, Hassium dropped Guinea Pig into his little cage again, and then started cleaning the lab. It had been his last experiment of the day.

The Researcher finished the drink he had in his hands, still lost in thoughts about experiments and talking guinea pigs. He patted his pocket, and as fingers found no squirming lump he frowned and looked down at the pocket he had suffed Guinea Pig in. "Well, well, where has that fellow gone now? He seems to be a most resourceful guinea pig..." There was a hint of amusement in his eyes as he stood up and, nodding to the few people who noticed him, left the Cabaret Room. Used as he was to his lab and its small inhabitants, it didn't take long for him to find the small telltale pawprints. Following them with his eyes, he noticed where they went. "Applications?" He blinked, disregarded the Recruitment Office sign, and fingered his latest research proposal that was kept in an inner pocket. Grinning broadly, he opened the door and entered, almost stepping on Pig. His squeaking made him look sharply to the floor, where he saw his most precious Guinea Pig. "Aaaah, my precious! There you are... come here, not nice of you to have tried to find a new owner..." He picked Pig by the scruff of his neck, examining him closely. "Hmm... you didn't have all those scrawlings on your fur last time I saw you. I know you always liked to play near the fire... would it be that fire brought that out?" As Pig squirmed, his ink-covered paws scratched Professor Hassium's nose. Blinking fast, The Researcher immediately picked a cotton swab and took a sample of the wetness on his nose, sealing it in a test tube. Then he did the same with the substance covering Pig's paws, also collecting it in another test tube. Carefully, he stickied a sign of Biological Hazard on both tubes and put them away on his lower right pocket. "Now now little fellow... let's take better care of you. Where have you been putting your paws in?" He dropped Pig on his right upper pocket, and from the left upper pocket he picked a tangerine slice, leaving it on Pig's eager paws. The Researcher examined the room, took notice of the several parchments that seemed to grow from every nook, and the huge pile of papers on Wyvern's desk. Nodding to himself, he took a piece of paper, examined it with a magnifying glass (that he took from his left lower pocket, then put back on his right upper pocket), tested it for radiation, then for contaminants, and finally satisfied he picked a pen from his right inner pocket and started writing. Rereading it, The Researcher nodded and attached it to the huge ream of papers that was his latest research project, and carefully put it at the center of Wyvern's desk. Then, looking around, he found a chair and sat down to wait for an answer, meanwhile pulling Guinea Pig out of his pocket and balancing him on his knee. "Well now, precious one... I am most certain that we have some things to talk about... the first one of them being, when exactly did you find out you could speak like humans?" OOC: I hope this is adequate as an Application... I am more a Role-Player than anything else right now, and don't feel I can write something adequate in either tale or poem form... at least for now. Though I can try if necessary!

The Researcher glared at the offending tangerine on his shoulder, barely noticing the slightly added weight to his left lower pocket as Blby fell into it. One of his hands checked the lump on his breast pocket, and Guinea Pig giggled because it tickled him. The other hand hovered near the lower left pocket, ready to take the cleaning spray again. Then, suddenly something thumped him heavily in the vicinity of said pocket. He reeled, gasping and instinctively turning to protect some sensitive parts from further assault. His left hand brushed against the occupied lower pocket, and he frowned. What? It usually doesn't have lumps... unless it's at near full capacity... He looked down, and lifted eyebrows in surprise as he saw another guinea pig - this one wriggling in a frenzy. He picked it by the scruff of his neck, noticing he was actually wearing a shirt and didn't look as guinea-piggish as his guinea pig. He frowned, but then Stephen bumped on him - making him drop Blby. The guinea pig scurried away, squeaking something... but The Researcher was quite sure that it was the small figure that had called him from the table. Another talking guinea pig? Curious, he decided that he'd better stay around, and approached the table where Tanny and Mynx had been. Arching his eyebrows, he looked at the stunned Patham, at Mynx spluttering on the floor, and at Tanny looking all bewildered. With a nonchalant face, he sat down - checking first to be sure there wouldn't be any giant lizard on his way - and grabbed one of the drinks.

Things happened faster than Professor Hassium thought possible, but then time seemed to go back to normal after the tangerine bullet. He looked down to his chest, and grunted in a most displeased way as he saw the mess his immaculate lab coat was. He considered pulling Guinea Pig out of his pocket, preferably dangling by one ear - that little rodent had given him a lot of trouble since the day it was born in the biotery - but there was something so utterly guinea-piggyish in his placid licking of tangerine fluids, that he just sighed. Of course, he also had very clear in his mind that the little creature had clearly spoken, and he decided that it was better to not scare it if he could avoid it. All of a sudden, he thought he saw a rat-like shadow dart from under one of the tables, right from between the arms of a big-moustached man. And then the weirdly pale-looking gaunt man, who he later on would recall having becoming incorporeal for a few seconds, gave a most undignified yelp and raised his ankle. "If that was a guinea pig," professor Hassium peeked over Venefyxatu's arm to look at the small teeth marks on his ankle, "I'd suggest you to have a shot of something against rabbies. You never know where they come from. In my lab they're safe, of course, but that one..." He trailed his look towards the table where Mynx and Tanny were talking, observing a cute little kitten diving under the table. Shaking his head, the professor looked down again at his pocket, and this time he met Pig's eyes. "So, little troublesome one, are you happy with the mess you made on my lab coat?" Whatever the little rodent might answer, it was delayed a bit by the crash-entrance of a drunken man who was led to the same table the curious girls... were they girls? ... sat. The guy he was sure had been an owl ready to dine his test Guinea Pig stood up to make an announcement, and the professor smiled and offered his congratualtions to the one named Whisky in Babylon before taking a spray can from his pocket and start spraying his lab coat, careful to keep Pig on his pocket. "Well, so I was asking you about my lab, little one." He sprayed his cleaning liquid right besides Pig, but in an impulse left a patch of tangerine goo for him to lick. "Since when do you talk?" At the same time, he was most curious about that other guinea pig, and started to slowly approach that other table. OOC: Congratulations to Whisky in Babylon for the achievement!

Professor Hassium's eyes showed his utter surprise at the words uttered by Pig. "Talk? Have I heard you talking?" He approached his eyes closer to Pig's, his Researcher eyes trying to pierce all secrets out of the little rodent. Although usually fastidious about the state of his clothes, and specially of his lab coat - he didn't like the image of mad-scientist that crumpled, dirty clothes usually brought to the common Observer's mind - for the second time in his life as a scientist he didn't pay attention to the blemish in his otherwise immaculately white lab coat. "What was the last I did to you, little guinea pig? Radiation 42Nw, I think... maybe that with the solution A3P and the little swim you took in the lab moat..." He was still muttering softly to himself when he registered a hissing sound and something like a claw poking his shoulder. He pocketed Guinea Pig into his lab coat's breast pocket, and examined Wyvern from horns to feet. The way the scales glinted fascinated him, and it was just half of his mind that paid any attention at all to Wyvern's words. Most of his brain was actually busy analyzing the quality of the reflected light and how the scales fit together, and what that powdery aspect could actually be. When he heard something about "horns", his eyes focused on those pointed appendices on top of the head of his test subject, and he immediately took a magnifying glass from one of his lab coat's pockets. "Horns.. yes, definitely horns... " As Wyvern points to Guinea Pig (who at this point is clutching is paws at the rim of The Researcher's pocket and peeking out fearfully) and mentions something broken, producing also a sheet of paper, Professor Hassium produces a small hammer from yet another pocket and taps Wyvern's horn, making mental notes about solidity and echoing sound shifts. "Oh thanks, you're a helpful test subject actually". Professor Hassium takes the rolled sheet of paper from Wyvern's claw, puts the hammer on the extended one, and picks a pencil to take notes on the back of the paper. "Hmmm.... need samples... a talking giant lizard who obviously suffers from some phonetic trouble..." He rummages a bit on another of his pockets without taking his eyes from Wyvern, and gets a small scalpel. "Definitely need samples. You wouldn't like to come with me to my lab, would you young lizard?" He grinned winningly. "I'm sure that my assistant might have something of that geld you keep mentioning." A small part of his busy brain opened a file named "geld" on his memory, and with it came the tag "philosopher's stone"; he nodded to himself, remembering Radioactive Vault 2 and some molten metal bits that resulted from a failed experiment. His musings, and Wyvern's somewhat lost expression, are suddenly interrupted by a series of events. The attentive researcher's mind actually registered each action, though he wouldn't be able to think about those before remembering them consciously. A tiny skeleton. An owl disappearing, a young man flattening himself onto the ground. A shadow disappearing... and loud noise. Professor Hassium gasped in surprise as a tangerine hit him squarely on the chest, and he heard Pig squeal as the fruit missed the rodent's head by a scant centimeter.

No one quite noticed a figure that entered the Cabaret Room from the kitchen door. Well, no one except the couple barmaids that were trying to grab him for explanations on how he had got into the kitchen. But he just shrugged them off, stumbling into a corner of the room. He looked around, using a table to steady himself, when a sound caught his attention. He stared at a guinea pig that was hugging the nose of some kind of giant lizard, and his eyebrows shoot towards the sky. "You!" He stepped out of shadows, his wide white lab coat trailing behind him as he lunged for the guinea pig as it fell to the floor. "Finally I've caught you!" A slightly trembling hand caught Guinea Pig by the scruff of his neck, ignoring completely Wyvern's open-mouthed astonishment. "Bad guinea pig! Bad bad bad!" He shook the poor animal, though not enough to harm him except for some dizziness. Guinea Pig squealed, his big eyes revealing fear at The Researcher. This one, known as Professor Hassium by his colleagues and just The Researcher by his researching subjects, stopped shaking Pig and started examining him closely, careful to keep his nose and fingers at a safe distance from the small teeth of the small rodent. Professor Hassium ignored the murmurs for the moment, taking some steps closer to the window so that the light helped him see better. As a frantic hooting reached him, he whirled and stared the owl down. "This is not your dinner, nightbird! Go find some mice in the kitchen, there must be quite some - there alwas are in kitchens. This Guinea Pig is important for my experiments - indeed, he has just managed to escape an inescapable cage and I'm most curious to know if it has to do with my latest tests on him!" He ignored the other stares, and turned again the rodent towards the light, this time gingerly picking his hind paws so he could turn Pig upside down. "Hmmmm...."