autumn_sun Posted July 22, 2003 Report Share Posted July 22, 2003 (edited) [Ehh...sickness does very odd things to a person's brain...] To see you is all I want. To hear you could make all evil undone. To touch you would be bliss.. To love you would be... unheard of... This nightmare surrounds me Carrying me away Far from my heavenly dreams To you I seem cold To me I seem lost This unholy need This simple want In your eyes you see me love another In mine All I see is you When innocence is worn away by so many years Fears And tears Where does that leave us? Torn apart Scattered in the wind Ashes to ashes Dust to dust To you, I leave you my soul To me, I leave this reality. Edited July 22, 2003 by autumn_sun Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Damon Inferel Posted July 22, 2003 Report Share Posted July 22, 2003 (edited) A marvelous piece of work Pip, but it does seem a trifle out of character for you. *realizes he's better off thinking nothing of it* Eh, whatever. Good poem and so very true in some cases. Edit: My signature seems... normal sized... Hn. Edited July 22, 2003 by Damon Inferel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
troubled sleep Posted July 26, 2003 Report Share Posted July 26, 2003 Yes yes, very out of character and yet...nice too, not that I'm any authority on poetry =cringes at the memory when she once tried to write something in that genre=, but still if my opinion counts for anything, I think it very nice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoaringIcarus Posted August 1, 2003 Report Share Posted August 1, 2003 Greetings, Autumn_sun. First off, nice name. Secondly, I can't recall reading you before, so I certainly have no say as to whether this is out of character or not, but even so, I like it. I like how whole the first stanza is, and though I want to suggest omitting the last elipse, it really does have an effect of it's own. How mature of the author to be able to recognise how they feel in comparison to how others see them. Fatalistic, indeed. I look forward to reading more of your work. -Icarus Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parmenion Posted August 31, 2003 Report Share Posted August 31, 2003 Ooooh I liked this! Good work Autumn_sun! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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