Myths and such

[Tamaranis]

My little sister asked me to do her homework for her. The assignment was to write a myth to explain something observed in nature, such as why rabbits have big ears or why giraffe's have long necks.

 

Being the kind and helpful older sibling that I am, I agreed. She told me she wanted to get a good mark and so didn't use what I came up with. Since that decision left it without an audience, I've decided to post it here. Not entirely sure why I figured that would be a good idea.

 

So here it is:

 

One day, long ago, the gods were looking at the earth and realized they hadn’t meddled in mortal affairs for like, five or six days now. Seeing this, the gods became angry.

 

Meanwhile...

 

“Gee, Bob, I don’t think its a very good idea,” Said Jimmy to his fellow member of an ancient culture advanced far beyond our own, but long destroyed and forgotten by all but time itself. “Genetically altering an animal to be an accessory that replaces women‘s purses is all kinds of wrong..”

 

“Don’t be stupid, Jimmy,” Bob retorted. “It’s a great idea, we’ll make millions, and we’ll finally be able to move out of this hovel we live in.” Bob waved his hand at the dirty apartment they shared for emphasis.

 

Jimmy looked around, the apartment was sort of disgusting. Nearly empty pizza boxes littered the place, no dishes had been done in years, and Jimmy and Bob had long since stopped using them. The walls were rotten, and he was fairly certain the reason he was tired all the time was that this room was actually a part of the ventilation system being used to evacuate carbon-monoxide from the building. To top it all off a large and aggressive ancestor of the modern day cockroach was advancing menacingly towards him.

 

“Maybe you’re right, Bob.” Jimmy reluctantly agreed as he grabbed the phase disruption plasma blaster nearest him and fired a few shots into the uber-bug, causing it to skitter under the couch in a terrified manner and plot its vengeance. “This place is kinda a dump.”

 

So Jimmy and Bob grabbed a mouse and, utilizing the incredible technology that was available to even the lowliest bachelors in their society, genetically altered it, turning it into the first kangaroo.

 

“You see, Jimmy.” Bob said, “It can follow people around and carry things in that pouch for them, we’ll sell them for ten, fifteen bucks a pop.”

 

Just then the kangaroo became aggressive, it kicked bob across the filthy kitchen, engaged the giant roach in a brief duel to the death, emerged victorious, and then escaped into the wild.

 

“No!” Cried Jimmy in dismay, “forty-five minutes of hard work, and all for nothing!”

 

Meanwhile...

 

“Hey! I’ve got it!” declared one of the gods, “Let’s turn the sky from red to blue, that’ll really confuse those stupid mortals, they’ll think it’s a sign of the apocalypse or something.”

 

 

 

And ever since then, the sky has been blue.

[smallscale_mind_games]

HEE! *explodes with laughter*

Explains kangaroos, the sky, and why cocroaches are so angry! ALL AT THE SAME TIME! WOO!