Archive Posted January 15, 2003 Report Share Posted January 15, 2003 Wyvern00 Elder of Initiates Posts: 286 (12/14/01 9:21:28 pm) Reply I and all the things that shaped me (commentary) -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I realize the poem's not quite finished yet, Falcon, but never the less, a few comments right from the get go: I must say that it's excellent thus far. A possible rival to 'Happy Birthday... for my greatest enemy', depending on how ambitious you are to tell your entire life story through the poem (Wyvern liked 'Happy Birthday' a LOT...). Once again, a great beginning. Two things that I particularly like thus far are the abstract opening with the use of celestial imagery and your depictions of several depressing yet sincere themes. Keep up the good work. I look forward to reading the rest of it. [image]http://www.legion-whiterose.com/signatures/aoa/wyv.gif[/image] ------------------------------ Almost a Dragon... "My life is one big crime, I try to scheme through it." -Common, "The 6th Sense" Owner of the Decanter of Endless Booze. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Archive Posted January 15, 2003 Author Report Share Posted January 15, 2003 peredhil31 Elder of Lists and Manners Posts: 695 (12/14/01 9:24:29 pm) Reply ezSupporter Re: I and all the things that shaped me (commentary) -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Cheers I like this one! Golden opening, descent into a valley of gloom, but the has the feel of a triumphant ending. Like watching a really good movie! Must be good - you sucked a response out of me when I have no time! -P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Archive Posted January 15, 2003 Author Report Share Posted January 15, 2003 Gyrfalcon25 Bard Posts: 128 (12/14/01 10:59:59 pm) Reply Re: I and all the things that shaped me (commentary) -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hmm... not much to say as profound as Peredhil and Wyvern... I love your use of images, such as how pain hardened your heart (which is basically how it feels. =\) *Gyr applauds wildly* Keep going! Encore! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Archive Posted January 15, 2003 Author Report Share Posted January 15, 2003 Lady Celes Crusader Initiate Posts: 41 (12/15/01 1:17:42 am) Reply Re: I and all the things that shaped me (commentary) -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Although that the fact that English is my second language and that my brain is making a double work to decipher first the words and then to interprete the meaning, the only things I can say is that this is excellent stuff and keep them coming Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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