Archive Posted January 15, 2003 Report Share Posted January 15, 2003 Pros: Good start- gets into the action quickly. You'll need to develop some backstory for the two characters later on, though. Cons: Incomprehensible Elven- I suggest either providing translations or write something like this: "What will we do now?" the elf maiden asked the air in the flowing language of the elves. It may just be me, but I hate not knowing what's being said. Ideas: Perhaps provide characterization to one of the elves Shroleyannè (how do you produce the accents in IE? ) brought with her to rescue the man- IE, Shroleyannè's friend or something. Perhaps describe the community a bit more? Is it a forest community with trees growing among the buildings? Buildings in the trees? Or have the elves cleared the forest out of the city? *Runs out of steam and forgets what his original point was. ;P* Anyway, good start, and it fulfulls the 'One Good, One Bad' thing you wanted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Archive Posted January 15, 2003 Author Report Share Posted January 15, 2003 Carlyan the Wise: Oh, sorry... that was dumb of me. I meant to go back and translate, but I forgot. I'll go edit the post now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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