Guest Minta Rose Posted January 8, 2002 Report Share Posted January 8, 2002 Co-Ed Nekkid Archmage, Winter Quarters Camp Terra (Delphi), November 2000 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Minta Rose Posted January 8, 2002 Report Share Posted January 8, 2002 Malenko (MISTAPEEPERS) *Malenko ascends the diving board at the state of the art Co-Edna pool and prepares to do a half gainer with an Insiguri tuck into a half Studebaker to impress the lovely ladies by poolside.* Boing! Boing! Boing! *leap, fall, spin, tuck, rotate, repeat, SMACK!!!!!!* *Malenko gets up and looks around for the train that intercepted him on his path to the pristine water below, and realizes that he is STANDING in the pristine water below. He also looks around and notices that all the Co_Edna members at poolside have taken on a sickly shade of blue and are being extremely sluggish. With that Malenko gets up rather sluggishly and begins to walk out of the pool, only to fall through the ice five feet from the edge. After climbing out, Malenko assembles his braintrust to decide what to do to fix the problem. After realizing that a braintrust made up of Orlan's trusty steed Viagra, Dominatrix's dwarven servant, fifteen cute pink bunnies doped up on Nuprin, and Corvus Corvax was a really bad idea, Malenko decides that Co-Edna needs a new home for the chilly winter climes. He assembles the remains of 3,682 HarryBush's treants that were just killed by TFB, Malenko contracts the local elven carpenter's union (their motto: Our women stay happy because we know how to work the wood) and sets them to work. The residents of the Co-Edna pool clamor to try and see what is the source of all the commotion, but Malenko chides them for their impatience and shoos them away from the construction site, which he had cleverly concealed with hallucination, until he received a letter from the elves: "You cannot find the exact location of Malenko's construction site. Your buildig attempt failed." After a lengthy building process, the project is complete. Malenko assembles all the local Terran celebrities for a grand opening of his new project. Let's go to Woods with the color commentary. "When in the winter of Terra, Malenko erected so, A structure fit for Pantera, With a pool . . ." OK THEN! That's enough color commentary from Woods. Let's go over to his partner, Orlan. "Thank you Malenko. We have a star studded cast of Terra's finest assembled tonight for the grand opening of the Co-Ed Nekkid Archmage Indoor Pool Facilities. It looks like some of the celebs are beginning to walk down the red carpet here. Who is first? Why, it appears as though we have BelZpock accompanying the lovely and Perpetually Nekkid Tzimfemme down the isle. He is decked out in a lovely . . . well, nothing, but her outfit matches perfectly. And the stylish Carp handbag she is carrying makes the outfit. Well, actually, it IS the outfit, but that's beside the point. Behind them we see more of The Men of Terra and their entourage. Here comes Cid with his requisite kegs under his arms. I do believe he neglected the fact this is not a BYOK (Bring Your Own Keg) affair. With him we have to lovely Lady Paladril. My, the way they have mad up just brings a tear to my eye, it really does. Following them, we have Bale, who is apparently not fully Nekkid. He appears to be wearing a leg warmer of some sort. Oh, wait, that is in fact Gummy. With him is the lovely Tink Nadel . . . now wait a tick. Does anyone else have a problem with Tin k accompanying Bale and Paladril accompanying Cid? Oh well, that is not for us lowly announcers to speculate on. However, we have our resident expert at split personalities here to explain. Steel?" "Thank you Orlan. You see, it's really just a matter of being fast. Through the use of the spell Feet of Hermes, PalaTink can actually run back and forth between Cid and Bale so fast that it appears as though she is in both places at once." "Thank you for that Steel, er, Dominatrix, er, whatever. Anyways, next in line we have a group of bachelors. We have Grinch and Satanklaus, in matching Santa Suit Body paint. There's BaoChou in a lovely Lucy Wu gown . . . ok, now that's just disturbing. He is wearing clothes!!! But I digress. Also in the group are Binabik and Whitless, proving that dragons and midgets can unite in nekkidness. And last but not least we have HawkAngel, who managed to evade security at the entrance to Camp Terra and attend. We now have our celebrity nekkid couple coming down the walk. Yes, that's right, Madoka-san is looking lovely sans-kimona, and Shaka is simply to croak, er, die for in his frogskin suit. Behind them are the notorious bachelorettes of Terra. Perdita is looking radiant as ever, as are Flame, Feath (love the wings), SexKitten, and Marle. Well boys, how many fantasies has that group provided? I know of a lot of mages who lie awake at night wishing they were . . . oh, wait. Sorry folks, I was just notified by my producer this is a family forum. The A-List of celebrities seem to be filing in to the building pretty steadily now. Wait, what's this? There seems to be some kind of disturbance a little ways down the line. It appears as though someone has stopped in the middle of the red carpet and is . . . giving a speech. Oh, wait, it's ok now. It was just Lord Kendricke, but he was taken care of by our crack Co-Edna security team. There seems to be one more lone figure ariving fashionably late to the festivities. Wait, could it be? YES! Lefies and Gentlemen, the one, the only, THE MAN! Greased has made an appearance and is making his way down the carpet. Well, it seems as though everyone has made it into the facilities, so I'll throw it back to you Malenko." "Thanks Orlan." *Malenko walks up to a podium placed in front of a pool. He searches his person for the notes he has jotted down for the occasion, but realizes that, being nekkid, he has no pockets.* "Ladies and Gentlemages, allow me to welcome you to the new inter facilities for Co-Ed Nekkid Archmage. We think that this will provide a thrilling way to socialize, swim, and revel in our pure nekkidness. Please take the time to enjoy the pool and our brand new spa in the back. There is a snack bar over to the side, with Buzzrock acting as #### waiter. We have an eager staff of lotion boys ready to apply it should the need arise. Though, as owner I reserve full rights to apply it whenever I see fit. Anyways, thank you for coming, have a nice day, and the changing rooms are in the back. Oh, wait, you're all nekkid. Oh well, guess I wasted those rooms." *Malenko descends from the podium and climbs to the diving board to christen the pool. He launches into his half gainer with an Insiguri tuck into a half Studebaker which he was trying to perform earlier without success. BOING! BOING! BOING! *leap, fall, spin, tuck, rotate, repeat, SMACK!!!!!!* "Water . . . I . . . forgot . . . water . . ." MALENKO Official diplomat of CftM and co-leader of Legion of Dragons Leader of Metalium A Man of Terra (Da Man With Da Plan) Founder of Co-Ed Nekkid Archmage (Co-Edna) Mass genocide is the most exhausting activity in which one can engage, with the obvious exception of soccer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Minta Rose Posted January 8, 2002 Report Share Posted January 8, 2002 Kinslayer (LOGIAN) *sneaks in before anyone else makes it in....no water...woohoo..finally a napkin can reside in peace!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Minta Rose Posted January 8, 2002 Report Share Posted January 8, 2002 Satanklaus wohoo! that was yust in time, it was getting a bit cold outside... not that I wouldnt be used to it... someone get some bandages for poor Malenko.. hope he didnt damage his head permanently... *teleports Malenko out of the pool onto one of that poolchairs* and get him a beer - Cid, could you spare one? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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