Guest Xradion Posted April 28, 2002 Report Share Posted April 28, 2002 Grains of white sand From a far off land Slowly sift from the Silver spoon into The dark black liquid Below. I take in the rich aroma Of the black brew, Though it is now Somewhat sweeter Than I would like. Before long, the Brew becomes bellicose, Struggling to save its Savory flavor, as the White cow’s liquid Collides, clashes against It in this sudden Squabble. The silver spoon Returns, simply to Stir things up. And the black liquid, No longer so dark, Loses its strength. As the mug is Finally lifted to those Insatiable lips above, It no longer has Its former flavor, As though its soul Were crushed by The sudden insurrection. And I realize it Is decaffeinated, Though I know it was Caffeinated before. Xradion, The Horny Druid, Scholar of the Ancient Arts, Holder of the Eye of Odin, "The only emperor is the emperor of ice-cream." -Wallace Stevens "When at home, do as the Homans do." –Xradion Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nyyark Posted April 28, 2002 Report Share Posted April 28, 2002 grin I don't drink coffee, but if I did I would have learned a valuable lesson today. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Xradion Posted April 28, 2002 Report Share Posted April 28, 2002 Thanks for your commentary, Nyyark. I normally don't like to comment that much on my own poetry (MAN do I feel pretentious right now), but I'll do it anyway, as I'm afraid some people might miss the point. This poem is written in a style I call "still life poetry." I like to take simple, everyday objects and expand their symbolic significance to present a greater world view (in this case, a brief discourse on the conquest of Africa and the problem of racial integration facing the world today). My poetry is often more overt than this, but I prefer to be more subtle when the inspiration is right. I must say that the Pen is really an awesome community where people that enjoy writing can come together and share pieces/ideas. Most online communities (including writing communities) have such a low level of conversation it's embarrassing. I was beginning to think that the Internet was leading to the degeneration of language and writing despite its potential to do quite the opposite. The Pen has shown me that not all places online are like this. I am really quite glad to find a place where fantasy buffs, comedians, and amateur writers can come together in this fashion. Anyhow, enough of this talk. I'm really not this pretentious normally, REALLY. Just ask Wyvern. It's just that I was getting pissed off at other writing forums, but I think I've finally found a home. Poetry.com only allows people to post poems of 20 lines or less, which I found extremely irritating since I deliberately break up my lines of poetry (more visually appealing to me). Anyway, if anyone else has any constructive criticism/praise, feel free to comment. I really appreciate other people’s input. I will try to reciprocate the favor. Peace, love, and all that good stuff, and I’ll post again later. Xradion, The Horny Druid, Scholar of the Ancient Arts, Holder of the Eye of Odin, "The only emperor is the emperor of ice-cream." -Wallace Stevens "When at home, do as the Homans do." –Xradion Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wyvern Posted April 29, 2002 Report Share Posted April 29, 2002 As you mentioned in your own analysis Xradion, the poem is definatly overflowing with symbolic meaning. The black liquid could symbolise the oppressed, the silver spoon and White cow's milk the oppressors. Very creative use of symbols, I like it a lot! I'm also glad you feel welcome here. I'll get to your application as soon as I find the appropriate time to write something creative... As for the pretentiousness bit... my response all depends how much geld I was payed in advance, of course! Wyvern lets out a sinister almost dragonic laugh... [image]http://members.shaw.ca/kea/am/wyvy.jpg[/image] ------------------------------ Almost a Dragon... "My life is one big crime, I try to scheme through it." -Common, "The 6th Sense" Owner of the Decanter of Endless Booze. Edited by: Wyvern00 at: 4/28/02 8:37:48 pm Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nyyark Posted April 29, 2002 Report Share Posted April 29, 2002 You see, I don't drink coffee, and I learned a lesson! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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