gravia_lycan Posted February 9, 2009 Report Share Posted February 9, 2009 times I had you by my side I build something up to the face of hope crashed, broken, thorn to pieces cannot face the fact that I cannot live cannot live with myself not anymore the more I try to keep you by my side the more I lose you the more I try to be with you once more the more I push you away I am to believe I am not one to live with luck I begin to believe I am a person to live in darkness I can't stop loving you I am nothing more than a weak piece of nothing I'll always keep you inside you heal my heart and my life you know I've tryed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mardrax Posted February 10, 2009 Report Share Posted February 10, 2009 NOW can you stop saying you're not that good at the entire writing thing? That said, while it's good, the structure seems a bit haphazard to me. It kindof forms a verse-chorus-verse construction, yet not quite. Also, have you thought about ending the "I am nothing more..." line there, and moving the rest to the next? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gravia_lycan Posted February 18, 2009 Author Report Share Posted February 18, 2009 NOW can you stop saying you're not that good at the entire writing thing? That said, while it's good, the structure seems a bit haphazard to me. It kindof forms a verse-chorus-verse construction, yet not quite. Also, have you thought about ending the "I am nothing more..." line there, and moving the rest to the next? thnx mardrax I will think about that one but it remains a trouble where to end lines and insert a chorus-verse part Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mardrax Posted February 22, 2009 Report Share Posted February 22, 2009 It's never a trouble mate, just a challenge to overcome Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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