Wyvern Posted January 26, 2009 Report Share Posted January 26, 2009 Last time, on Dawgrim’s Reek *Cue the image of Wyvern, dressed in a green goblin school vest with disheveled black hair, fainting and collapsing into a heap next to a bookshelf* Dawgrim and his trusty Almost Dragonic Brand Goblin Dynamite Rucksack™ tell Gurt to go study so they can attend an EXTRA-private meeting *Cue the image of Wyvern, dressed in a green goblin school vest with disheveled black hair, fainting and collapsing into a heap again* The heat is on when Dawgrim tries asking Triska B’Shell to Home Hogswill *Cue the image of Wyvern, dressed in a green goblin school vest with disheveled black hair, fainting yet again* But are Triska’s multiple suitors more than Dawgrim bargained for? *Cue clip of Wyvern screaming “Just GO Dammit!” to Gurt so that he’ll remember his script.* And now, Dawgrim’s Reek --- The cameras fade in to the image of an empty makeshift locker room, which seems to be set up in part of Black’s old castle basement quarters. The rows of prop lockers in the room are made out of rectangular cardboard boxes painted gray, which put many real goblin academy lockers to shame. The aged coffins of Black’s quarters rest between the rows of lockers like benches, and a familiar-looking Almost Dragonic Brand Really Big Lightbulb™ gives everything that “lit locker room in a C-grade goblin TV drama” feel. A chart tacked to the end of the west wall of the room lists goblin athletics such as “bug catching” and “champion belching,” and a skull next to it seems to be a dispenser of some sort. Before the label of the dispenser can be seen, a cheesy kazoo theme cues up and the title of the show once again fills the screen in its obnoxious font: Dawgrim’s Reek sponsored by Almost Dragonic Brand Really Big Lightbulbs™ The cameras turn and begin panning past the rather sparse fronts of the cardboard lockers before turning to focus on Wyvern, who has gone all out goblin teen idol for the show as far as looks go. The overgrown lizard brushes his beak bone comb through his backwards black toupee with enthusiasm, letting the goblin-attracting sewer scent waft from his horns. Aside from a black leather rock star jacket that covers his wings, the reptilian actor is bare-chested, with the generous display of scales ending at his low-hanging dark blue slacks. Wyvern snaps a claw nonchalantly as he searches for a particular locker, passing by a pin-up of Wrenwind that’s been tacked to one of them as décor. “Well. Well. If it isn’t. Dawgrim. Or should I say… Duhgrim (whowritesthisstuff?). What are you doing here?” The poor pacing and enunciation of the dialogue is only topped by the new troglyodyte actor’s wardrobe, which consists of a curly villain mustache and a dark cape attached to a more traditional goblin academy hide school uniform. The troglyodyte steps into the locker room area and comes to an awkward halt, clearing his throat. “Nyaa. Nya. I hear you want to ask Triska B’shell out, Dawgrim. But I already have. Nyaaa. Tosses back cape. Oh wait, I’m not supposed to read that.” “Evil Orcy, I should’ve known.” Wyvern growls and flexes his unimpressive array of almost dragonic muscles. “Well I’ve already asked her out too. And you should know by now that, aside from Kaurly, she’s the only one for me.” “What are you two grunting about?” Dawgrim and Evil Orcy turn to face another troglyodyte actor, this one on stilts with a ridiculous bodysuit meant to imitate a goblin jock. The jock tosses a bone baton up and down and flexes his montage chest muscles, one of which falls off of his suit in the process. “I asked Triska to Home Hogswill as well!” “Oh yeah?” “Why you-“ “I asked her first.” “Yeah right. I did.” The three potential Triska daters circle each other with exceedingly fake hatred written on their faces, with Dawgrim’s angered hisses seeming slightly more realistic than the others for some reason. The three adversaries draw their respective weapons, Dawgrim pulling his bird beak comb, Orcy pulling a sharpened quill, and The Jock treating the bone baton as a club. The rivals stare at each other for a moment, their faces suddenly going blank when they realize that there aren’t any stunt devils under the program’s limited budget. They stand still for a long and awkward pause before tossing their respective weapons to the side, moving in and enacting something similar to Goblin Professional Wrestling, only about three times as phony. As the battle for Triska’s courtship rages on, the cameras pan out to reveal the “Grls Loker Room” sign of the quarters, which rests next to the room’s skull tampon dispenser… Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CheerMynx Posted January 27, 2009 Report Share Posted January 27, 2009 Inside the 'Grls' locker room, Triska tinkered a laugh as she stepped out of the shower, one towel wrapped around her body as she used another to rub dry her black wig. "Congratulations on being head cheerer-er...er Triska!" the troglyodyte in a wig and cheerleader's outfit frowned at his script, the ink beginning to run in the steamy room. "Yer a shoo-in for the Home Hogswill Queen now." "Mmm," Triska smiled in a self-satisfied kind of way as she finished with her hair and began to dry the rest of her fur. "But who to be my King?" "What about that Dawgrim, Trisk?" Another troglyodyte piped up, with even less emotion in his voice than the first one. "I mean he is like so dreamy (tossesbackhair. Oh)" the troglyodyte grabbed his blonde wig and threw it away. "Dawgrim?" Triska purred. "Well sure, you'd think he's the obvious choice. But," Triska winked slyly as she changed into a skirt and top more revealing than the skimpy towel she'd been wearing. "I can't let him know that." The first troglyodyte stared blankly for a moment before the second stomped on his foot. "Ow! I mean, what do you mean Trisk?" "Just because a guy might seem the obvious choice doesn't mean he's always going to win, girls." Triska tossed her hair and laughed. "Besides, how else are you going to find out just how much he's into you?" The troglyodyte 'girlfriends' muttered agreement before dutifully picking up their bookbags and following Triska out of the locker room... ...Just in time for a particularly elaborate and clumsy 'stunt' to bring the three suitors crashing through the sub-budget wall, landing at Triska B'Shell's paws. Raising an eyebrow, Triska placed a paw on her hip and purred. "Hello, boys." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wyvern Posted January 29, 2009 Author Report Share Posted January 29, 2009 The three prospective boyfriends remain frozen in place for a moment as Triska's scant apparel catches them off-guard, the script only calling for her to "get dressed." After a long moment of silent gaping, The Jock is the first to scramble back to his feet. He jerks upright, almost falling over on his unstable stilts, "Errr, I gotta go and uhhhh." The Jock shifts a script behind his remaining chest plate. "Gotta go and catch some boar skulls down at the ol' mud track. I'll see you Triska." The Jock races out of the locker room as fast as his stilts can carry him. As soon as he's disappeared from view, Evil Orcy pulls himself up from the mess, raising his cape to his face in order to read his script without too many people noticing. "Nyaaa. It was all Duhgrim's fault." Orcy sticks his nose up and turns to exit with a twist of his villain mustache. "Nyaa (weneedbetterwriters)." Dawgrim ignores the exits of his two rivals and remains stationed on the floor, deciding that the view of Triska's skirt is probably better from where he's currently positioned. It takes a few minutes before the almost dragonic actor behind Dawgrim realizes that the crowd of goblin-ish locker room gals are waiting for some kind of response from him. “Oh, me?” Dawgrim pulls out his bird beak comb and brushes it through his sleek wig, which is laying on the floor next to him. “Well, I was just here to see if Triska wanted to make out or-“ “EEEEEEEK!” The troglyodytes playing Triska B’shell’s locker room colleagues take their cue and charge out of the room in a wholly artificial panic, stampeding over Dawgrim in a not-so-artificial manner. The only one who doesn’t race out of the room is Triska herself, who grins smugly at Dawgrim’s prone form and slowly paces by him. She playfully trails the tip of her tail along Dawgrim’s cheek as she passes by, and lets out another of her sultry laughs before prancing out of the locker room area… "CUT! Annnnd print it!" --- Next time, on Dawgrim’s Reek *cue the image of a crowded classroom, where a stout professor is teaching a goblin sex ed class with a shin bone as a blackboard pointer* The heat is raised when Triska flirts with Dawgrim in class *cue the image of a note being dropped at Dawgrim’s seat. Dawgrim picks it up and unfolds it to reveal the next page of his script* But when Dawgrim and Triska are sent to detention, will things get too hot for teacher? *cue image of an unhappy looking Dawgrim, chained down in a goblin detention hall next to hot pokers used for torturing delinquents* Dawgrim’s Reek, episode 3: “Biology B(‘Shell)” Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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