lost

[cryptomancer]

I break ever more, withering in the darkness

Decay my solace as I wait in vain,

The twisting knives of my shame is all I hold,

The pointed reminders of all I lost

Each moment alone drains yet another

The soft-lit motes of hope drift away.

 

I never held hope for any but you,

No deeper love have I to hold,

For blest as once you let me be,

Without you, there is no place as empty

As this soaking darkness around me.

 

Deeply I drift away, my hope no light can hold

The loneliness of that empty hand, which once held yours.

Deeper my heart will fall, for no joy could it now lift,

I sink to the choking depths, the only luminance

The glow of dark despair.

 

There is no life without you,

No love can yours replace

Though another now is truly blest,

This void has my joy displaced.

I have no world, no hope, no love.

 

[cryptomancer]

I withdraw,

This world no longer mine

Turning away I am cast into night,

And a dreamless shadowed day.

No light my caress ignites,

No soft smile melts my frozen heart,

So I turn, and retreat,

Love lost, soul injured and weak.

 

[cryptomancer]

The pendant no longer hangs close,

The one I broke and shaped so it looked like yours,

Like yours it no longer has the meaning I offered.

 

Wrapped it in dark, in a box of other trinkets,

Little memories of things I want to forget,

Like the dream of living, I no longer wish to have.

 

Deeply I will hide those thoughts I have,

No longer thinking them aloud for you to hear,

You no longer wish it from me, my love so empty.

 

Dreams now locked away, I need no-one again,

This is how I should have stayed, years ago

Before life's meaning was laid, in this shallow grave.

 

And so ends the promises made, broken and ignored,

For you no longer wish them fulfilled, the pendant falls,

Just crumpled shrapnel, decorating my stone heart.

 

[cryptomancer]

I found that card again,

Postcard of a fictitious man

Not me, similar, dark, but not me.

You laughed when you saw

You smiled, eyes alight when you saw,

And hugged me when you shared it.

 

I have it now, still where I placed it,

Hidden reminder of a small joy,

Your welcome smile,

Directed at me.

 

The candle flame beckons,

Wishing to taste, burn, consume,

Why should I care, it’s not me.

 

[cryptomancer]

A small shift in time,

A step sideways,

Out of line,

Out of harm,

Out if range,

Out of pain,

Away,

Hidden,

Alone.

A shift in space,

Away from all,

Hidden in this cell,

For in this place I am me,

No-one enters,

None shall again leave.

 

[cryptomancer]

It is strange to my heart and mind,

That upon this earth, in mortal life,

Each time we seem most in need,

We find, or meet that one,

Perfection that will guide us through.

 

In my world and listless life, I wander, as ever,

With no anchor, the currents of emotions washing my soul,

The simple joys touched, but never held,

Such has this time been, yet never again will be seen,

Save in the quiet horrors of dream.

 

[cryptomancer]

As ever in the broken dreams

Life’s wonder so distant seems,

If touching the divinity of beauty pure,

Could let this soul the world endure,

Then in that time of soft embrace,

Maybe I could these dreams face.

 

[cryptomancer]

Open that book again,

The one I wrote in love,

Scribbles of all I am,

Written once, for you,

Only ever for you.

 

I have none of it here,

The only copy was yours,

If I had written it in blood,

Its meaning would be unchanged,

No deeper would the damage flow,

For every word I carved from my heart,

And in your hands it is now,

Yet no longer grows.

 

Open it again,

Read my life to me,

Let me live again,

Without this despair.

 

[Harmonious_Echos]

Very, very good....much better than the works I saw on Poetry.com...I especially liked the one about shifting time, that rang true for me as well...a sense of being trapped in one's self, unable to leave or change. That's what I got from it. *retreats back into own cell*