Wyvern Posted September 8, 2008 Report Share Posted September 8, 2008 The news cameras slide by the portrait of a short and elegant-looking pennite, whose azure face and features are the same tint as the wallpaper and carpet design of the surrounding quarters. The name “Finnius Mustardio Jalopini Canard O'Harpy” is inscribed on the bronze rose designs framing the picture, and below it is an information card tacked on the wall that reads: Blue Man of the Pen/ Why do girls want to harm him?/ He’s so genial. “Greetingsss newsss fans, and welcome to another Almost Report.” The cameras immediately turn in the direction of Wyvern, who is seated on a comfy recliner next to a fireplace where a lively blue fire roars away. The overgrown lizard adjusts his blue smoking jacket, which might have looked good on his scales had it not been for their clashing crimson color, and sets a glass of blueberry sherry down on a glass counter adjacent to him. Wyvern plucks the booze-bubble pipe out of his mouth and tosses it to the side, then lowers his deep blue shades and hisses to the cameras. “Reporting to you live thisss week from Finnius’ personal Pen poetry lounge, can you dig it?” Wyvern leans back in his seat coolly and flashes a winning grin, only to pause and quickly place a claw over the “F” emblazoned on the smoking jacket, not wanting to give the audience the impression that he was stealing any of Finnius’ stuff… “*Ahem* We have a real hip show for you tonight with a bit of almost dragonic poetry and a bunch of almost dragonic machismo, so ssstay tuned to our limited air time in the home of the Patron Saint of Haikussss.” Wyvern attempts to snap both of his claws while scatting under his breath to seem “with it,” but fails to produce accurate sounds as the claws scraping together mesh with the barrage of little hisses. “*Hrherm* At the top of the Pen newsss this evening, the Almossst Report would like to take a moment to acknowledge a few pennite birthdays, belated poetry café ssstyle.” Wyvern circles one claw in the air in a nonchalant manner as he uses his other to dig out a little rectangular card from his robe. The overgrown lizard breathes in deeply and rests his claws in a meditative state before raising the card to his snout and going cross-eyed over it. “Thissss first lil’ number is dedicated to troubled sssleep, who celebrated her birthday last week.” Wyvern snorts loudly and spits a bit of ash into the near-empty glass of blueberry sherry at his side, then clears his throat and reads: ~TS~ Fine telepathy/ but also minding others/ A great troubled sleep. Wyvern nods to himself as he folds the card and places it on his lap, tilting his snout up in a haughty manner and hissing: “Hope ya enjoyed that, troubled sleep. And now, another almost dragonic haiku in honor of Sora Hikari’s birthday:” ~SH~ Foxy and Jacki/ Yue, Xiao, Max and Blackjack/ Plus Sora’s B-day. “Hope the two of you had great onesss.” Wyvern grins to the cameras and crumples the second poem card together with the first one, then tosses them both into the fireplace to watch the cool blue effects that it produces. The fireplace roars upward in a semi-dangerous manner for a moment, causing Wyvern to jump from his seat. “I-i-in other Pen newsss, d-don’t forget to check out smallscale mind games’ new Pen Barbeque in the Conssservatory. N-now, if I could jussst prevent a BBQ from happenin over here…” Wyvern picks up his glass of sherry and tosses its contents into the fire in the hopes of dousing it, only to watch it flare up ten-fold in a more-than-semi-dangerous manner. The reptilian reporter stammers and loses his cool, glancing left and right before noticing a panel of instructions labeled “Safety Procedures” on the wall to the left of the fireplace. He races over to the panel and presses his snout against it, only to go glum as he reads it. “Safety Procedures” When the fire gets hot/ there are many procedures/ to take right away. “A haiku…?” Wyvern’s eyes go tiny as the fire continues raging on, threatening the safety of the fireplace. “You gotta be kidding me...” *static* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts