cryptomancer Posted August 24, 2008 Report Share Posted August 24, 2008 At peace with the soft twist of pain Through the open skies I search To see the world I cannot reign Hope that was once my cane I lost my grasp and now walk At peace with the soft twist of pain Shadows dance through this rain My sorrow a mask upon my eyes To see the world I cannot reign Shield of secrets hide me from disdain No one knows my path to home At peace with the soft twist of pain My mortality moulds the mind insane The skies grow dark as light fades To see the world I cannot reign Looking back at all I cannot obtain Sadness seeping through my soul At peace with the soft twist of pain I move into my realm again The murk of solitude still the same To see the world I cannot reign At peace with the soft twist of pain Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wyvern Posted September 4, 2008 Report Share Posted September 4, 2008 Nice poem, cryptomancer. :-) I liked the repetition and the way you emphasized the rhyme scheme in the final stanza to bring it to a close. The themes of coming to terms with the pain of solitude and the darker sides of life were also reflected well here. I felt like the two-syllable "ain" words didn't read quite as smoothly as the one-syllable ones, but I like how you intentionally start with one-syllable words ending the first line of each stanza and then switch over to two-syllable words for the second half of the poem up until the last stanza... it gave me the sense that the poem was moving into more complex territory. Anyway, nicely done once again crypt, thanks for sharing this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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