Wyvern Posted June 30, 2008 Report Share Posted June 30, 2008 A few troglyodytes are heard talking amongst themselves in the background as the news cameras flicker on to the image of the wreckage site of a former sculpting platform, which is still in the process of being cleaned after a certain ceiling cave-in some weeks back. The cameras quickly turn away from the rubble and pass over several paint brush supply counters and palette tables before reaching an elegantly written sign labeled “Alzorath’s Portraits,” which points towards a wall lined with beautiful renditions of pennite faces. The cameras proceed to move past the sign and wall, however, until they reach a not-so-elegantly written sign labeled “Almost Dragonic Brand Adoptable Rubber Pet Portraits.™” The sign tilts in the direction of a billboard where sheets of paper with rubber animals glued onto them have been set on display. The unstable sign topples over as Wyvern enters the scene with a swing of his tail. The reptilian reporter adjusts the jarring color combination of his paint-stained jacket and horn beret, then stretches his wings and flashes a toothy grin at the cameras. “Greetingsss, and welcome to the Almost Report’s first ever Almost Dragonic Brand Adoptable Rubber Pet Portrait™ Purchasing Program!” Wyvern points a claw at the cameras and winks. “In honor of the Portrait of Zool’s recent birthday, we’ve decided to market rubber chicken pet ssspin-offsss for this Report and this Report only! Don’t misss out on the opportunity to own one of these adorable little pieces of rubber for a mere 99 geld, with Almost Dragonic Brand Rubber Litter Disposal Binsss™ only 20 extra geld in a limited time offer. Call 1-900-ALMOSTDRAGONICRUBBERS today. That’s 1-900-ALMOSTDRAGONICRUBBERS. SimilaritiestoAdoptaMythicalPetshopatFairyFallMallpurelycoincidental.” Wyvern pauses for a moment to hand one of the troglyodyte news crew a gift-wrapped package of Summer-related stamps to deliver to Zool so that the portrait might enjoy the season properly, then hisses a “Happy Belated Zool” and turns towards the cameras with a wave. “Let’sss take a look at some of thessse adorable pets.” The cameras follow Wyvern as he points a claw at a tiny dot of rubber resting on a piece of paper. “Any dumpssster could gain ‘classy dump’ ssstatus with one of these Adoptable Rubber Flies bouncing around it. Ssspeaking of status, voting Pen members should be sure to contribute their thoughts on July Pen Promotions in the Minstrel Hall. The voting ends on July 30th, so get your thoughts in by tonight if you want’em counted!” Wyvern taps the sheet of paper to accentuate his words, causing the loosely glued rubber fly to fall off of it and bounce across the floor. He twists his snout at the rubber pet’s departure, then quickly moves on to another sheet of paper hanging from the billboard in an effort to save face. “And in case you’re looking for something more portable and travel accessible in your Pet, why not try this Adoptable Rubber Gnat?” Wyvern extends a claw to a scrap of paper with an even smaller dot of rubber on it. “This lil number could easily find its way into the suitcases for Patrick’s July trip, and might even fit in the cargo for Peredhil and Mynx’s journey. Maybe. By the way, pennites who haven’t been briefed on the travel plans of Patrick, Peredhil, and Mynx should check the Courtyard ASAP. Feel free to PM the respective parties if they’re passing through your area and you’re interested in meeting up. But act now, this offer expiresss extremely soon.” Wyvern nods to the cameras, then turns back to the sheet only to find that the tiny Rubber Gnat has gotten stuck under one of his claws. The overgrown lizard mutters a string of curses as he scrapes the Pet from its position, and immediately loses it to a crack in the floor. Wyvern clears his throat loudly and moves on to the next tacked sheet of paper, which appears to be blank. “And let’sss not forget thisss, err, special Adoptable Rubber Pet. The uhhh, y’know… the invisssable… butterfly?” Wyvern raises a brow and types at the sheet in a hesitant manner, unable to identify his own product. “Rubber chameleon maybe? Errr, either way, ssstay tuned for a bit of Almost Intern subbing… maybe, I think.” Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alzorath Posted July 4, 2008 Report Share Posted July 4, 2008 (edited) A piece of loose canvas in the corner exudes a low groan and yawn and begins curling and contorting, a moment later Alzorath's head pops out from under a corner. Without moving his head he scans the room with his half open eyes, a small bit of spittle and paint resting in his beard... "ughnnn...I thought the renovators weren't supposed to come until Thursday..." Alzorath blinks still half asleep, following the statement with anpther over exaggerated yawn, not quite realizing what's going on in his studio. Alzorath scratches a few of the specks of paint out of his beard while he continues surveying the damage, overgrown geld hungry lizard, and a camera crew with obvious interns. He yawns and mumbles out, "at least it won't cost as much to repair as when Rydia got a hold of those giant pixie sticks a few months ago," and quickly curls back up under his canvas grumbling, "just don't set fire to anything, that turpentine is flammable." Edited July 4, 2008 by Alzorath Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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