andrea hawk Posted April 24, 2008 Report Share Posted April 24, 2008 quips and witticisms were traded. the jokes and jibes slightly jaded. the words that went silent faded, but their meaning has not been degraded the tears that i had long ago cascaded. because my own feelings i stupidly evaded. but darling, this emotion can’t be shaded… i promise you, i won’t easily be dissuaded my affection for you will never be downgraded. I need you and this can’t be done unaided. lost love of my youth can you be persuaded? to care for me again, if you’re serenaded? This is ridiculously silly, but sometimes these things can’t be helped… I suppose. At this moment I am feeling rather… well I can’t quite place the words… but this ludicrous little rhyme just sprang out of my brain today. I’m not quite sure why I got on the words-ending-with-‘ded’ kick… but hey. I never said I was good, now did I? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wyvern Posted May 8, 2008 Report Share Posted May 8, 2008 While I see what you mean about the rather distracting rhyme scheme, I like the words and emotions behind this piece Andrea. :-) Beyond the "ridiculously silly" form of the piece, I think there are a lot of genuine feelings of longing and solitude, as well as some elements of self-doubt. I like the pairing of "quips and witicisms" and "jokes and jibes" in the first stanza as well. If nothing else, I could see the situations and ideas of this piece being used as the seed for another of poem at some point in the future. Thanks for sharing this here, Andrea. :-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DL_Snake Posted May 8, 2008 Report Share Posted May 8, 2008 I'm no good at commenting, but can I just say how much I enjoyed this piece, and to be honest, hope one day I may be able to utlise it (not literally) in my own love life Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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