Silver WInd Posted April 18, 2008 Report Share Posted April 18, 2008 Life Force A page is just waiting for a name the fresh ink through which it can breath and pulse with life. The force that holds within all those withering souls for once set free as they are spoken. You can almost hear the whispers is it your release or the tightening of chains. Struggling with this creation, unfolding peel by peel. Questions of mortality truth obscured reviving the corpse to spring before the eye. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loki Wyrd Posted June 17, 2008 Report Share Posted June 17, 2008 I like your writing, but I think you have the potential to improve by learning how to tighten up your lines. The general rule is don't use a word unless it adds to or strengthens the body of the work. Example: A page is just waiting into... A page waiting We're all guilty of using fluff & redundancy in our writing; to recognize and revise is the important part. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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