Ciri Posted March 4, 2008 Report Share Posted March 4, 2008 Umm. Heya folks. I'm Ciri, and Finnius convinced me to post something here. So direct all rotten tomatoes at Finnius, it's all his fault Anyway, for my first trick, this is an OLD story, which I wrote as background for my very first roleplay character ever, at the age of fourteen(ish). I recently found it (approximately thirty-six minutes ago), and figured I might as well use it as my first starter post. It's untouched from its original writing. I'll probably try re-writing it and posting a shinier version...maybe. Here you go! ---------------------------------------- Most of the time, change happens so slowly, you don't really notice until long after the change becomes normal. And when you do notice, you wonder how you could have dismissed the earlier signs that things were changing. Then you start wishing for things to be like they once were while around you everything remains in a continuous cycle of change. And when you stop and notice the new changes, you begin to wish for the changes of old, wondering at how you missed what was happening all around you once again. My name was Tavik, son of Rigaan and Drema, a fisherman and a seamstress. When I was seven, my little sister was born. All the newborns I had seen in the village had been dark-skinned or a pinkish color, but she was paler than ivory. Mama was so worried about this that she took her to the healers. They told Mama that my little sister was fine, but her skin would never darken. Another strange thing was that her eyes were a beautiful deep, clear red, a color not common in these areas. When her hair began to grow, it was a shade of white that was as light and pure as spun silver, also uncommon in the region in which we lived. But Mama and Dada said she was beautiful, like a ray of moonlight, and I thought so to. Besides her unusual appearance, she was a normal baby. Mama decided to name her Aelu, or 'little raven,' in our native tongue. Mama and Dada had always wanted a little girl, so they couldn't be happier. As for me, she was my little sister, and I promised I would always be there for her, to protect and take care of her for as long as I could. So you see, we all loved her dearly. The villagers, on the other hand, had never seen anything like Aelu before, and most didn't want her around. As the years passed, vicious rumors began spreading that Mama had been unfaithful to Dada, because the three of us had dark hair and blue-green eyes with the slightly browned skin native to the area, while Aelu was paler than anyone we'd ever seen. Mama and Dada soon dismissed this rumor, since besides her unusual coloring, little Aelu was a smaller, feminine version of me. Unfortunately, this didn't stop the villagers. They just became meaner and more hateful towards Aelu. They said and did a number of cruel things, but there is one incident that stands out best in my mind. Perhaps this is because when I look back, this was the first sign of the change. It was Aelu's seventh birthday, and Mama and Dada gave us each a gold coin to buy whatever we wanted. We wandered around the town's shops, laughing and joking as we looked into the windows and wondered what to buy. I spent most of my half on a large bag of small, clear marbles and sugar candies I shared with Aelu, whom I had never seen more happy. She was absolutely glowing, even though the villagers threw us dirty looks as we passed. When we reached the toy store, Aelu went in alone. When she came out, she gave me a slingshot, one of the best I've ever seen. I was shocked. I told her I couldn't take it, that her money was meant for her, but she just stood there, thumb in mouth, refusing to trade it for anything else. My heart was touched at her generosity, and the love for my little Aelu increased a thousand times. I smiled and gave her a piggyback ride through the streets, as oblivious to the hateful stares as Aelu was. As we were walking, I noticed that a friend of mine, Caner, was following us. This was strange, but I was so wrapped up in Aelu that I didn't really think much of it. Finally, he called to me, saying he wanted to talk privately. I left Aelu on a bench, making her promise not to move. Caner beckoned me into a small alley. I looked back once, only once, and saw my Aelu on the bench eating her candy and staring right back at me. Once we were in the alley, Caner began asking me strange questions, like what I thought of the weather and how Dada's fishing was doing. I should have figured it out right there and then, but Caner was one of my best friends, and I trusted him. I answered all his questions quickly, then turned and exited the alley. But when I walked back to the bench, Aelu was no longer there. I looked everywhere, becoming more and more frantic with each minute that passed. Finally, I remembered how odd Caner had been acting and became more and more suspicious. I began to follow him, and he led me into the forest. We walked for a few moments, then reached a clearing. What I saw next is an image eternally burned into my mind, one that never fails to unleash my fury. There, tied up and tethered to a tree, was my little Aelu, crying and screaming as a large group of people, her peers and my peers, along with a few older than me, threw rocks and stones at her, and kicked her when she fell limp. A deep hatred, unlike anything I have ever felt, entered my heart at this sight. I grabbed the slingshot, a symbol of Aelu's kindness, and rose from my hiding place. I reached into my bag and held the smooth, hard marbles. I pulled my hand back and with the skill of hours of practice, began flinging my marbles towards them. They began screaming and scattering as the tools of my vengeance hit them, more often than not breaking there skin. They ran, but I didn't stop until all my marbles had been used, then I ran towards Aelu. From a distance, I could not observe the severity of there beating. As I knelt beside her I could see every wound. Her beautiful white skin was covered with dark, deep bruises, marred by large slashes that dripped blood down to the ground. So severe was their beating, I was shocked they hadn't killed her. Gently I gathered her frail limbs into my arms and carried her home. When I explained what had happened, Dada was furious and Mama was horrified. It took Aelu weeks to recover, and even after she healed she wasn't quite the same. She became quieter, and her beautiful eyes, which used to remind me of the sky at sunset, no longer held their former sparkle. She was still Aelu, but something had changed. She knew too much of human nature now. Aelu began spending the free time not devoted to me, Mama and Dada thinking. Just thinking. She would sit, sometimes for hours, her eyes barely moving to blink, staring at the ocean or raindrops or a bowl of water. I remember looking at her as she slipped into this private world of hers, for it was then that she seemed weakest, her thin arms wrapped around her long skinny legs, sharp chin at her knees. She looked like a delicate glass doll, one that could break with the slightest touch. But there was an air of unseen power to her at these times, a sort of inner strength. She seemed so calm, so unstoppable at these moments that I began encouraging her to slip into that world more and more. As for the people of the village, they did not change towards Aelu. We, however, changed towards them. Mama's beautiful voice was absent from the choir, as was her delicious foods from the stands on Main Street. Dada no longer let the other fisherman use his boat or nets, or help the villagers with the odd jobs that he used to gladly do out of charity. I cornered the people who had inflicted the beating and told them if they EVER so much as plucked a single one of her beautiful hairs, I would beat them so badly they would never walk again. I am one of the best fighters in school, so that was the last time they gave us any type of trouble. As for my former friend Caner, I didn't wait for him to hurt Aelu a second time. I spared his life, but only so he could serve as a warning. Not even the best Healers in the village, nor in the nearby ones, could spare him from a future as a scarred cripple. The villagers began to hate us all after that, but they were afraid of Dada. Dada is a huge man, over six and a half feet tall with broad, powerful shoulders, and thick, equally powerful arms. None of his 320 lb. was fat. Besides, if they threw us out, they would have to pay double to import cloth, since my mother was the only weaver in town. So we and the villagers were at a standstill. Years past, but my little Aelu didn't grow much bigger. She was very petite, but her mind and spirit grew stronger. However, she grew quieter through the years, and tended to avoid people. It wasn't out of fear or shyness, I could tell. She just didn't seem to like people, and after how the villagers treated her, who could blame her? As a family, we remained close, closer than any other. That is, until the sickness came. I was 20, and Aelu was 12, almost 13. She had suffered from a small fever, the penalty from eating some strange berries. The next day she was all better. However, Mama and I were sick. Soon, Dada was sick as well. Aelu, young as she was, did her best to help us and do all the chores. She cooked, cleaned, sewed, and tended to the animals and gardens. On the third day of the sickness, for the first time since that terrible day 5 years ago, she went to the village alone to fetch a healer. When she returned accompanied by the healer, Mama and Dada were already delusional, and I was very close. The healer examined us, then told Aelu gently that the best they could do was make Mama and Dada comfortable. As for me, I had only the tiniest sliver of a chance at survival. He gave Aelu three vials and left. Mama was the first to leave us. She had been speaking nonsense for hours, but right before her death, she seemed to have regained a grasp of reality. With her last few breaths, she said 'I love you' to me and Aelu, and said she couldn't have been more blessed in life. Turning to Aelu, she told her never to doubt herself or listen to the hateful words of others. To me she left the responsibility of guiding and protecting myself and Aelu. As for Dada, she simply looked at him and smiled, then died. Dada soon followed. In my fevered state I knew Mama and Dada were dead, that Aelu was crying and I was dying. I couldn't stand it. At this point I cared little about my own life but cared all the world for Aelu's. I knew once I was gone there would be no one left for her. I remember telling her that, telling her how much I cared for her, how much Mama and Dada had. I told her how happy I was when she was born and how proud I was of her now. I told her never to forget that. I told her she was different and strange and wonderful, and that was why the villagers hated her. I made her promise never to become like the villagers, judging people by appearances. I said so many things that night in my delusional state; things I knew and felt and thought, but had never before spoken. But what I said before death was a message; a warning: "Don't let hatred into your heart little Aelu, nor jealousy, anger, and sadness. These are the evil fires that burn away at your soul. Never let them in, or they will turn you into their slave. Don't ever forget us, me, Mama and Dada, or what we've taught you. I love you, my little raven, my beautiful Aelu. Never forget that. Never forget us." At this time, the thin wire of life I had clung to snapped, and I was taken from Aelu and caught in death's inescapable embrace. Most of the time, change happens so slowly, you don't really notice until long after the change becomes normal. When you do notice, you wonder how you could have dismissed the earlier signs that things were changing. Then you start wishing for things to be like they were in the past while all around you things continue to change. And when you stop and notice the new changes, you once more wish for the changes of old, wondering at how you missed what was happening all around you once again. But sometimes the change happens in a heartbeat, and from the moment it happens you notice it. And know things will never be the same. Ever since that day so many years ago, when Aelu realized the full extent of the villager's hatred, she had begun to change, slowly, in little ways. But once we died, the changes that had been slowly tranforming her erupted in full force. She never laughed, never smiled. Her beautiful sunset-sky eyes became clouded, forsaking the last shred of merriment left in them. All the warmth in her heart and the happiness she felt was gone. Yet she wasn't sad. You see, she did remember my words, and never let hatred, jealousy, fear, or sadness into her heart. But without these emotions, you cannot feel love, appreciation, bravery, happiness. So now she feels nothing at all. Dance little raven Dance Aelu Dance across the night sky Dance my little raven Dance my little Aelu Sing little raven Sing Aelu Sing the innocent's song Sing my little raven Sing my little Aelu Fly little raven Fly Aelu Fly far from this wretched place Fly my little raven Fly my little Aelu Never little raven Never Aelu Never let the fires enslave Never my little raven Never my little Aelu Forgive me, little raven Forgive me Aelu Forgive me for I left you all alone Forgive me, my little raven Forgive me my little Aelu Erase little raven Erase Aelu Erase the bad from your heart Erase my little raven Erase my Aelu -------------------------------- There you go, straight from 2003/4 to your eyes! I never actually wrote the second part of the story...might do that as well, later on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CloudCuckooLand Posted March 9, 2008 Report Share Posted March 9, 2008 Pretty good, for an RP backstory. There are a couple of typos, 'to instead of 'too', and tense-switching, but I think that you know about those. So, do the villagers kick Aelu out, once the family is gone? That seems like where you were going with it. Nice job, anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ciri Posted March 11, 2008 Author Report Share Posted March 11, 2008 Pretty good, for an RP backstory. There are a couple of typos, 'to instead of 'too', and tense-switching, but I think that you know about those. So, do the villagers kick Aelu out, once the family is gone? That seems like where you were going with it. Nice job, anyway. Heh, yup. Looking back on this story I feel sitting fifteen-year-old me down and lecturing for a few hours on tenses (and a few other items). It's kind of fun going through your old work and seeing how much you have (or haven't) improved. But she isn't *quite* kicked out at the end... When school stops trying to kill me, I'll upgrade this. I promise! Eventually! And thanks for the compliment Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts