The Almost Report Steels Itself, Succubi Style

[Wyvern]

The news cameras pull away from the darkness that blinds their lenses, revealing a menacing suit of pitch black gothic plate armor with a sharpened steel visor and barbed wire cufflinks. The cameras pan out further to reveal that the armor is one of many suits standing adjacent to the wall in a long elegant chamber. Angelic coats of arms have been spread over both walls of the hall, and the far end of the dimly lit room has a tall table with a section for enormous tools. A giant unlit blacksmithing furnace stands next to the table at the end of the chamber, gathering cobwebs and dust from lack of use.

 

“Err, g-greetingssss, and welcome to the Almost Report.” Wyvern’s familiar hiss echoes from somewhere in the long hall, and the cameras weave back and forth in an attempt to find him. A few troglyodytes shout to each other as the cameras begin moving past the rows of armor, looking for some sign of Wyvern. The reptilian Elder’s voice continues hissing in background. “I, uhh, we’re reporting to you live from Knight’sss armory this evening in an effort to scope out the finer items of his collection while celebrating his recent birthday. *Ahem* Hope ya had a great one, Knight.”

 

The cameras continue turning left and right in search of Wyvern and begin picking up their pace, only to pause and backtrack a few feet as the lenses catch sight of a tail stinger with a silky black bow sticking out from behind one of the lighter suits of iron. The cameras try to curve at an angle to catch an image of Wyvern hiding behind the armor, but come up short on the visuals.

 

“O-of courssse, Knight’sss birthday isn’t the only one being celebrated and uhh… I sorta- hey! What’re you-?” The news cameras spot two sets of troglyodyte feet behind the armor and hear a chatter of news crew voices before the shoving starts. A screech of metal is heard as Wyvern attempts to grip the back of the armor with his claws, scooting back with his feet as best as he can. “W-wait, I’m not ready! Jussst need to get a lil more comfortable before I face th - I mean - O.K! O.K. Look, ssstop pushing! I’ll come out, geeze…”

 

Wyvern breaths a long sigh as he steps out into the open, revealing an attire that would be deemed questionable by any honorary Pen news reporter. The overgrown lizard is dressed in rugged black pants that have been cut up to the knees, with an extra-large hole in the back for tail space. He wears no shirt or shoes, though a spiked almost dragon collar is tied around his neck with a loose chain dangling from its rear. A silky black ribbon is tied around the lizard’s right horn in a manner similar to his tail stinger decoration… possibly set there as a reserve blindfold.

 

“R-right, wellllllcome to the Almossst Report. *Ahem* Or did I already ssssay that?” Wyvern blushes and folds his wings so that they cover his scaly chest a bit, feeling self-conscious as he lifts a dish with the words “Wyvie’s Dish <3” written on it in a cursive hand. “L-like I said, Knight’s ain’t the only recent birthday. The Pen’s lovable resident succubus, Signe, alssso celebrated her birthday a few days ago, and I uhhh… thought the least I could do was dress appropriately for the occasion. I sent a few Almost Dragonic Brand Waterlily Trimming Flowers™ to her quarters as well, jussst in case. Hope ya had an awesome one, Signe.”

 

Wyvern winks and turns another shade of scarlet before turning away from the cameras and wandering down the long armory hall, pointing out various suites of armor in an attempt to turn the cameras’ attention away from what he’s wearing.

 

“Asss you can see *ahem,* Knight has desssigned quite a few excellent pieces of armor.” Wyvern pauses at a piece of mithril studded steel, and swings his all-too-visible tail as he points it out. “And not always alone, it seemsss. This particular piece of armor seems to have been enchanted by a signature spell from Sorciere, who alssso happened to celebrate her B-day recently. Here’s lookin at you, ‘Sorc!”

 

Wyvern grins towards the cameras and continues wandering down the hall until he reaches a suit of triple layer chain mail. He stares at the armor for a long moment before another Pen news item occurs to him.

 

“The Almossst Report would also like to extend its congratulations to the three pennites who gained new ranks in the recent February Pen Promotions.” Wyvern runs a claw over the material of the chain mail, careful to not get his own chain tangled in it. “The promotions came a day late due to Ozymandias’ case of the flu, which had absolutely nothing to do with him running nekkid through the Cabaret Room and Chatbox in freezing weather… *Ahehehem*”

 

Wyvern moves further down the hall and pauses as he reaches the tall table with the dominion blacksmithing instruments, his eyes going tiny at the sight of the huge hammer and pick.

 

“In further Pen newsss, Man and Superman: a Matrix Werewolf has officially gotten underway in the Conservatory for those who are interested in a bit of alternative reality tag.” Wyvern pokes at the head of the giant hammer once or twice, then moves away from it and breathes a low hiss. “’Ssssuperman’ is definitely the word...”

 

With that, Wyvern clears his throat and turns back towards the camera, reaching down and scratching at an itch in his tight shorts.

 

“Anyway, ssstay tuned for CheerMynx, who’ll be coming on a little later than usual and-”

 

Wyvern stops short as a troglyodyte news person holding a schedule frowns and shakes his head, tapping it and raising it up for Wyv to see. Another troglyodyte crew member dashes up and whispers something quickly into Wyvern’s ear before falling back into his regular position.

 

“Waddaya mean CheerMynx is on her regular schedule?!” Wyvern tenses up as a look of panic falls over his face, the thought of CheerMynx catching him in his current outfit striking more than a little anxiety into his reptilian heart. “You gotta be kidding?!”

 

Wyvern wastes no time, barging past the surrounding troglyodytes and scrambling to find a suit of armor that might fit him. The reptilian Elder clangs through piece after piece with no success, finding all of the suits far too large to accommodate his scaly features…

[CheerMynx]

"Wyvern?" CheerMynx's voice echoed through the halls, interrupting the Almost Dragon's desperate scramble for something more covering. Dropping a helmet with a loud clatter, Wyvern froze, his mind going completely blank as the cheerline's soft pawsteps approached the hallway he was in. Just when the steps were about to round the corner, there came an unhappy kittenish yowl that halted CheerMynx's steps.

"Snuffles, no!" CheerMynx grunted as if struggling with something. There came another yowl, followed by a hiss, and the thump of paws hitting the floor.

"Snuffles!" CheerMynx wailed as her seeing-eye minion scampered away. The minion rounded the corner to reveal a miniature pair of handcuffs hanging from his tail. Skidding on the floor, Snuffles slid into the pile of armor that Wyvern had discarded with a crash.

Mewling annoyance, Snuffles flattened his ears and looked up at Wyvern, only to begin laughing. If he weren't hearing it himself, Wyvern would have doubted it were even possible of a kitten, minion or not. Turning an even deeper shade of red, Wyvern coughed and began to mumble an excuse until he was distracted by another kind of feline yowl.

With a loud crash, CheerMynx rounded the corner and walked straight into the wall.

"Ow," the cheerline whimpered, sitting down heavily and clutching her muzzle. From where she sat, her back was to Wyvern, but what he could see of her outfit made the Almost Dragon want very much to get her to stand up and turn around.

"Ch-CheerMynx?" Wyvern asked tentatively. The cheerline stiffened and spun in Wyvern's direction. He let out a strangled choke when he saw the rest of the outfit. A tight and miniscule corset barely covered a handspan's length of her chest. It's duplicate in length and cut was her skirt - duplicate right down to the open back that was only held together with lacing, the cheerline's tail poking through the laces.

"Uh," Wyvern coughed, "CheerMynx? What happened?"

"Well, I was running late cos like I didn't know what a succubus was so I had to ask Mynx and she TOTALLY started laughing at me but she helped me find the leather although I think it's human so I'm kinda like totally grossed out right now..." CheerMynx paused long enough to take a breath. "THEN I was on my way here when I realised that I hadn't found anything for Snuffles so I got these little handcuffs I got with this like keychain from one of my parties but I think I like pinched the fur or something cos he totally hissed at me and then he like ran away so now I can't see and I ran into this wall and..." the cheerline sniffed, clearly near tears.

Wyvern turned his attention to the minion and gave the most menacing look he could come up with. The end result was something that both made Snuffles break into another fit of kittenish giggles, while at the same time feeling enough guilt to return to his Mistress.

Letting out a squee as CheerMynx came back into contact with her source of vision, the cheerline picked up Snuffles and cuddled him happily, before she stood up and turned to thank Wyvern properly.

"ThankyouthankyouTHANKYOU Wyvern!" CheerMynx bubbled as she tacklehugged the Almost Dragon, before she blinked in surprise and pulled back to look at his attire.

"Wyvern? Like, what are you wearing?"

[Wyvern]

It takes a long moment before CheerMynx's question registers in Wyvern's mind, with the feel of the cheerline's fur and scant outfit against his mostly bare scales occupying most of the overgrown lizard's thoughts. The reptilian Elder's tail stinger twists into the floor as CheerMynx pulls back a bit from her position on top of him, her rear skirt lace stretching a bit as it passes over his scales. His wide goofy grin and trail of drool come to an abrupt halt as he notices the quizzical expression on CheerMynx's face, and he raises a claw to the trail of blood dripping from his snout as her question seeps into his brain.

 

"O-o-o-oh-oh-oh thisss?! N-n-nothing much."

 

Wyvern bites his lip as the literal connotations of the response echo through his mind, watching CheerMynx raise a brow and move further back off of him. A soft ripping sound drifts from some unseen area of the lizard's tight pants in the ensuring silence, and he digs his claws into the floor in the hopes of keeping his calm.

 

"Th-th-that isss, ummm... y'see, before the Report I ran into this sorcerer in Knight's armory that turns people into dogs, and ssso he decided to turn me into a mutt, but then I said 'Oh no you don't, CheerMynx won't like a mutt hanging around the Report" and I picked up that hammer from Knight'sss tool table and swung it down on him and he got nailed into the floor ssso bad that there was nothing left. So then I turned back into a Wyvern, but the mutt accessoriesss were ssstill there. Errrr...?"

 

CheerMynx stares at Wyvern with an uncertain expression while Snuffles glances forward glumly, not buying the lizard's poor excuses for an instant. After going cross eyed and distracted over CheerMynx's tight corset again, Wyvern lifts himself to his feet and notices the looks on their faces. He mumbles something under his breath and hisses a short sigh.

 

"O.K, O.K, so it'ssss a historical artifact." Wyvern manages to tear his eyes away from CheerMynx in order to stare down at the ground, blushing and lifting one of his wings in an effort to hide it. "Sssigne chose the design and the dish and, well, I didn't really have much of a sssay in the matter... not that I regret it, sssuccubi know bessst n'all I s'pose."

 

Wyvern freezes up as CheerMynx moves in close again, moving a paw across his neck to inspect the collar and chain with increasing feline curiousity. The overgrown lizard breathes out a happy whimper at her touch, recalling the feel of her arms clutching his back only a few moments ago and savoring the sensation. He stares down directly into CheerMynx's tightly packed cleavage and then at the tilted position of her skirt, whimpering some more as its hem brushes against his leg. The overgrown lizard stiffens up even further, more ripping sounds drifting from the front of his ragged shorts, and he coughs loudly in the hopes of covering it up.

 

"L-l-lisssten, I gotta change into something more comfortable. Pleasssse ssstay right here, just like this. I'll be right back."

 

Wyvern turns just as CheerMynx's shifts his collar chain through her paws, connecting it to one of Snuffles' handcuffs by accident. The overgrown lizard races off to the nearest dressing room in the hopes of solving any major trouser malfunctions before they occur, pulling Snuffles (and CheerMynx's vision) along with him. Wyvern's thoughts are so set on his goal of changing outfits that he doesn't even hear the angered mewls..

 

;-)

[Signe]

(totally out of character but... thanks you guys. http://www.themightypen.net/public/style_emoticons/default/ohmy.gif) a year and a half late, but thanks. http://www.themightypen.net/public/style_emoticons/default/ohmy.gif) I feel all warm and happy inside!)