Silver WInd Posted December 5, 2007 Report Share Posted December 5, 2007 Little Bird She watched out the window as the world passed by trapped behind the glass as seasons changed. Rain drops matched her tears sliding their gray streaked tail as the wind howled its pain. Lost inside herself she only dreamed of sunshine the clouds pointed her pictures. Only to herself she wept where there was no one else to see, when the sky was dark. But oh how the stars shined and for a moment she felt free to dance among the sky a caged bird set free. She watched out the window rain drops matched her tears lost inside herself only to herself she wept a caged bird set free. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Da_Yog Posted December 6, 2007 Report Share Posted December 6, 2007 Interesting structure. Is this one of your own devising or is this an established form? I do like the way the first line of each stanza becomes a line in the last stanza...except the last line of the last stanza is also the last line in the next to last stanza. I rather liked the content as well. At least to me it speaks of depression, with the bird living in a cage of her own manufacture. I liked how the tears of confinement become the tears of freedom at the end—nice touch. The imagery resonated well for me. The rain, the tears, the cage, the night sky, and dancing all work well in the motif. I think overall I rather like this one. Nicely done. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silver WInd Posted December 6, 2007 Author Report Share Posted December 6, 2007 Thank you, I cannot take credit for the style though I do not know where it oringinally came from or what it might be called. I happend to have read a poem by another whom did this, and I liked it so I decdied to give it a try myself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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