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The Pen is Mightier than the Sword

The Almost Report Ties Together News in Bonds


Wyvern

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A shaky camera tunes in to what appears to be a rough brown surface. The lens slowly shifts with jerky movements, grazing the brown surface with a nerve-wracking scratchy sound and moving upward. The camera jerks to a stop once its reached a point where it can focus on the bottom of Wyvern's chin. The overgrown lizard hisses softly and jerks his head down towards the camera as best as he can, decidedly stuck in place.

 

"Greetingssss, and thanks for tuning into the Almost Report. Reporting to you live, even when helplessly tied up against Degorram's door..." Wyvern fights off a blush and grunts to himself, attempting to fidget a bit but tied quite firmly in his ropes. "Captivity log: three hours since the I <3 Wyvern Club took the initiative. Their talks of tickle torture make me wary of other kinky objectives. Hoping to pierce one of the ropes with my tail ssstinger... y'know, just in case."

 

Wyvern shuts his yap and bites his scaly lip as familiar voices and footsteps echo from deep within Degorram's room. He strains to hear some of the conversation, and makes sure that the voices have reached an appropriate distance before continuing.

 

"Anyhow, in today's newsss, congratulations to Whisky in Babylon for making Quillbearer in the Pen's recent September promotions." Wyvern pauses and grits his teeth a moment as he attempts to bend his tail into a cutting position, only to snort as he fails. "Newer Pen visitors who would like to become more involved in the workings of the community and would like to receive similar acknowledgments might consssider submitting an Pen application in the Recruiter's Office."

 

Wyvern tenses up again and goes silent as he hears Kikuyu and Degorram's voices discussing the merits of various feathers. He silently curses over being on bad terms with Mahogoni Closit and wonders if Degorram's door might be Woody's type.

 

"In further news, Blby's Greetings have turned into an introduction to a number of new pennites, not to mention an all-out tangerine splatterfest. Worthy of any pennite's attention." Wyvern stretches his neck a bit. "Ssspeaking of which, the Almost Report would like to send warm pennite welcomes to The Researcher and his pet Guinea Pig. Here's hoping the two of them will indulge in the Pen and the many fine Almost Dragonic Brand Products that it has to offer."

 

Wyvern's holds his tongue and gulps as two shadows suddenly fall over the camera. He tries fidgeting again, then quickly adds:

 

"Finally, those who haven't checked out the free Mighty Pen 'Narratives' music compilation should feel free to do so... I'd love to hear yer thoughts on it."

 

Wyvern eeps as a large purple feather brushes past the camera lens. A feminine finger reaches down for the power button of the camera and taps it, causing the screen to black out just as a gale of almost dragonic laughter echoes through the sound unit.

 

;-)

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