The Almost Report Featuring Wings in Technicolor

[Wyvern]

The news cameras aim upwards at a sharp vertical angle, filming bark, leaves, and scattered troglyodytes that hang from ropes to apply touches of makeup. Wyvern grunts as he climbs up to the next branch of the mighty tree, his claws shredding bark and his tail stinger picking up plenty of loose leaves. The overgrown lizard seats himself upon the branch with a pant and an unnerving creak, glancing around the tree's living space and admiring the lack of spider webs and general cleansliness of the quarters.

 

"Greetingssss, and thanks for joining the Almost Report for our second Pen treetop excursion." Wyvern wheezes a brief smoke signal of sorts, then wobbles to his feet and rubs his claws together. "Today, we take you live to Annael's special tree for one of our typical news camera invasssions, and possibly a bit of undergarment digging on the side."

 

Wyvern bites his scaly lip as he moves forward, spreading his wings for balance as he makes his way down the branch towards the tree's base. The leaves seem to bloom in color as butterflies awaken from almost every leaf, stretching their wings and turning in Wyvern's direction.

 

"In today'sss news-" Wyvern jumps and falls forward as a huge rush of butterflies circles his branch with speedy and effortless precision. The reptilian Elder clutches at the bark of the tree's base and hugs it with a nervous laugh, not looking down at the cameras (or looking down at all, for that matter). Wyvern gulps, then clears his throat and speaks with a nervous squeak, his feet trembling. "I-in today's news, voting Pen members are encouraged to cast their votes in the latest set of Pen promotions. Closssing date for thessse September promotion votes is September 20th, which gives ya plenty of time to come up with a bribe to sway the vote amongst other things, but the sooner you participate the better. All votesss (and bribes) are appreciated."

 

Wyvern turns his back towards the base of the tree and breaths a sigh of relief, having finally regained his balance. He scratches his chin and then begins pulling on branches that lean down above him to shake them, hoping to eventually uncover Annael's panties repository by trial and error. The lizard hisses a string of curses when each of his shakes proves to be fruitless, and pauses as gangs of butterflies swarm at him from each branch.

 

"In further newsss this evening, the Almost Report would like to remind our newer pennites that in addition to collaborative creative activities, there are plenty of non-creative activities that we'd love to sssee you participate in." A news box formed entirely out of butterflies appears in the right-hand corner of the screen. The butterflies dodge and weave into the shapes of the things that Wyvern's talking about. "Be it thoughts on movies, thoughts on music, or sssimply things you've learned (including things you've learned concerning the merits of Almost Dragonic Brand Products), we'd love for you to chip in to get to know you better. There's even a section for sharing pictures, though we ask that you apply to the Pen and stick around with us for a while prior to browsing through there."

 

With that, Wyvern nods and kneels down to inspect the bark of the branch he's standing on, hoping to find some hot undergarments hidden under the layers of tree. The branch snaps under Wyvern's full weight, and the lizard screams as he falls through several gnarled branch tips. A rescue net of butterflies manages to catch Wyvern to soften his fall a bit, but not before the lizard's speed and weight manage to knock out the Almost Report's news cameras...