Wyvern Posted March 13, 2007 Report Share Posted March 13, 2007 Another interrupted broadcast. Another lost frequency and loud hiss of static. Another "this is getting tiresome" statement from Appy as the familiar features of Mardrax turn to gray wavelengths on her crystal ball. Just another Monday evening... with your host, Ellllllllllllllllll Wyyyyvvvvverrrrrrrrrnnnnnnnoooo (Q. Almostdragon)! The cameras refocus on Wyvern, who noses through a "Discount Pirate Broadcasting Accessories" catalogue as the show's out-of-tune news medley comes to a close. The overgrown lizard grumbles to himself and tosses the catalogue aside when he finds no skimpy kidnapped pirate maiden outfits for potential interns, then turns his beady eyes towards the cameras with a sneer. "G'd evening." Wyvern folds his claws together, lit under sinister lighting associated to the pirate HQ's lack of any fully functional lights. "To kick off thisss evening's news, a final call for Almost Report internsss! Just so happens I got a letter or two on me that read 'I want IN,' but the more sexy Pen ladiesss on the show, the better! Love of forked-tongue frenchkissing a plus. Just drop me a line in my Persssonal Message box, with a lil' heart seal on it, and I'll see what I can do." Wyvern winks to the cameras, then reaches into his pocket and pulls out a crumpled sheet of paper. A box with an image of a mass Pen mudslinging contest appears in the upper-righthand corner of the screen. "In slightly less important news, there is now a sequel to the uber-popular Mighty Pen Review discussion, which brought us such diverse voices as Sweetcherrie, Morgane, Peredhil, Valdar, Gyrfalcon, Yui, Vlad, cryptomancer, Mynx, Gwaihir, and countless others, . Thought of as the strictly disciplined 'step-brother' of the infamous discussion, the sequel takes the form of three votes that full Pen members are encouraged to contribute to: one on Quill Quests, one on Ranks, and one on Structural Change. Brought to you by the Quincunx, who I'm sure is seething at hearing her name credited on the Almost Report as we speak. Get your votes in there so we can have an afterparty ASAP, preferably before all of these folks disappear into obscurity again!" Wyvern snorts and tosses the crumpled sheet of paper over his shoulder. The image within the box is replaced by a picture of Curious Mylo sitting on top of a very tall pile of furniture. "In further news, items are the name of the game as Curious Mylo has summoned a wide variety of trinkets through numeric code and pennite imaginations. I'm a little biasssed in my love for crafting new products, but objectively speaking, the numeric objects could yield some very interesting results. Be on the lookout... Let the games begin!" Wyvern snaps a claw in the air, and the image within the box switches to that of a video game console with a tigertaur insignia on its lid. "Closing this week's report, I'd like to send a big congratulations out to Katzaniel for getting a foot in the gaming biz! Now that she's inevitably going to become a wealthy video game tycoon, I'm sssure she'll find the time to market some Almost Dragonic products in the digital gaming realm." Wyvern clears his throat and pulls out an unlabeled cassette tape. "This recording of my performance of a scene from the Dreamer's "Havoc" tale, for example, might make a brilliant plot for a third-person shooter (*hint hint* Katz)" *cue screen blackout, followed by static* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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