Going back...

[GeldrinHor]

It strikes me a bit odd, but today, for some reason, my mind went back to my childhood again, sitting with my Uncle George (4 yrs my elder) and listening to some strange recordings in my Grandmother's house, down in the Garage-converted-into-a-music-room. He and I used to listen to new rock, Like Elton John (Captain Fantastic & the Brown Dirt Cowboy) as well as some old stuff. Now I have loved comedy and satire my whole life as far as I can remember, but Tom Lehrer was, in my eyes, the Wierd Al of his day. He had a Masters in Mathematics, and wrote MOST of his songs in the late 40's and 50's. Then he wrote some "political" stuff in the 60's...here are a small selection of songs I listened to in my grandmothers music room...

The Folk Song Army

One type of song that has come into increasing prominence in recent months is the folk song of protest.

You have to admire people who sing these songs. It takes a certain amount of courage to get up in a

coffee house or a college auditorium and come out in favor of the things that everybody else in the

audience is against, like peace and justice and brotherhood and so on. But the nicest thing about a

protest song is that it makes you feel so good. I have a song here which, I realize, should be

accompanied on a folk instrument, in which category the piano does not, alas, qualify. So imagine, if

you will, that I am playing an 88-string guitar!

 

We are the folk song army,

Every one of us cares.

We all hate poverty, war, and injustice

Unlike the rest of you squares.

 

There are innocuous folk songs, yeah,

But we regard 'em with scorn.

The folks who sing 'em have no social conscience,

Why, they don't even care if Jimmy Crack Corn.

 

If you feel dissatisfaction,

Strum your frustrations away.

Some people may prefer action,

But give me a folk song any old day.

 

The tune don't have to be clever,

And it don't matter if you put a couple extra syllables into a line.

It sounds more ethnic if it ain't good English

And it don't even gotta rhyme... (excuse me: rhyne!)

 

Remember the war against Franco?

That's the kind where each of us belongs.

Though he may have won all the battles,

We had all the good songs!

 

So join in the folk song army!

Guitars are the weapons we bring

To the fight against poverty, war, and injustice.

Ready, aim, sing!

 

==============================================

Send The Marines

What with President Johnson practicing escalation on the Vietnamese, and then the Dominican Crisis on

top of that, it has been a nervous year, and people have begun to feel like a Christian Scientist with

appendicitis. Fortunately, in times of crisis like this, America always has its number one instrument

of diplomacy to fall back on. Here's a song about it:

--------------------------------------------

When someone makes a move

Of which we don't approve,

Who is it that always intervenes?

U.N. and O.A.S.,*

They have their place, I guess,

But first - send the Marines!

 

We'll send them all we've got,

John Wayne and Randolph Scott;

Remember those exciting fighting scenes?

To the shores of Tripoli,

But not to Mississippoli,

What do we do? We send the Marines!

 

For might makes right,

And till they've seen the light,

They've got to be protected,

All their rights respected,

Till somebody we like can be elected.

 

Members of the corps

All hate the thought of war;

They'd rather kill them off by peaceful means.

Stop calling it aggression,

Ooh, we hate that expression!

We only want the world to know

That we support the status quo.

They love us everywhere we go,

So when in doubt,

Send the Marines!

=========================================

One of my ALL-Time favorites was The tune of The Major-General's Song, by Sir Arthur Sullivan, from

Gilbert & Sullivan's The Pirates Of Penzance.

The Elements

Now, if I may digress momentarily from the mainstream of this evening's symposium, I'd like to sing a

song which is completely pointless, but is something which I picked up during my career as a scientist.

This may prove useful to some of you some day, perhaps, in a somewhat bizarre set of circumstances.

It's simply the names of the chemical elements set to a possibly recognizable tune*.

 

There's antimony, arsenic, aluminum, selenium,

And hydrogen and oxygen and nitrogen and rhenium,

And nickel, neodymium, neptunium, germanium,

And iron, americium, ruthenium, uranium,

Europium, zirconium, lutetium, vanadium,

And lanthanum and osmium and astatine and radium,

And gold and protactinium and indium and gallium, (gasp)

And iodine and thorium and thulium and thallium.

 

There's yttrium, ytterbium, actinium, rubidium,

And boron, gadolinium, niobium, iridium,

And strontium and silicon and silver and samarium,

And bismuth, bromine, lithium, beryllium, and barium.

 

Isn't that interesting?

I knew you would.

I hope you're all taking notes, because there's going to be a short quiz next period...

 

There's holmium and helium and hafnium and erbium,

And phosphorus and francium and fluorine and terbium,

And manganese and mercury, molybdenum, magnesium,

Dysprosium and scandium and cerium and cesium.

And lead, praseodymium and platinum, plutonium,

Palladium, promethium, potassium, polonium,

And tantalum, technetium, titanium, tellurium, (gasp)

And cadmium and calcium and chromium and curium.

 

There's sulfur, californium and fermium, berkelium,

And also mendelevium, einsteinium, nobelium,

And argon, krypton, neon, radon, xenon, zinc and rhodium,

And chlorine, carbon, cobalt, copper, tungsten, tin and sodium.

 

These are the only ones of which the news has come to Hahvard,

And there may be many others but they haven't been discahvered.

====================================================================

The Vatican Rag

Another big news story of the year concerned the ecumenical council in Rome, known as Vatican II. Among the things they did, in an attempt to make the church more... commercial, was to introduce the

vernacular into portions of the Mass to replace Latin, and to widen somewhat the range of music

permissible in the liturgy. But I feel that if they really want to sell the product in this secular

age, what they ought to do is to redo some of the liturgical music in popular song forms. I have a

modest example here; it's called The Vatican Rag!

 

First you get down on your knees,

Fiddle with your rosaries,

Bow your head with great respect,

And genuflect, genuflect, genuflect!

 

Do whatever steps you want if

You have cleared them with the Pontiff.

Everybody say his own

Kyrie eleison,

Doin' the Vatican Rag.

 

Get in line in that processional,

Step into that small confessional.

There the guy who's got religion'll

Tell you if your sin's original.

If it is, try playin' it safer,

Drink the wine and chew the wafer,

Two, four, six, eight,

Time to transubstantiate!

 

So get down upon your knees,

Fiddle with your rosaries,

Bow your head with great respect,

And genuflect, genuflect, genuflect!

 

Make a cross on your abdomen,

When in Rome do like a Roman;

Ave Maria, Gee, it's good to see ya.

Gettin' ecstatic an' sorta dramatic an'

Doin' the Vatican Rag!

===================================

Edited February 27, 2007 by GeldrinHor

[GeldrinHor]

Just a note to say, SORRY if this seems a bit apolitical...just stuff in my head I HAD to get out.

 

Can't think clearly with Tom Lehrer, "Wierd Al" Yankovic and Bob Rivers (Twisted Tunes) running through ones mind.

 

I am feeling MUCH better now...LOL.