A strange object on Wyvern's desk

[Mardrax]

The night was... intense to say the least.

Winds had been ravaging the surounding countryside, catapulting whatever was in its way with debris of all sizes. Lightning streaking across the otherwise black sky had illuminated farmsteads and homes alike, where other means of lighting failed. At least you could see, once every few seconds. The accompanying thunder however, had prevented any means of communicating the joy at that, short of shouting into one's ear. The rains had seemed a constant torrent, no, a wall of water, and were collecting in ever-increasing puddles, the gardens of the Pennite Keep being no exception. Some would have said it was weather that could raise the dead, but if any dead had risen, they surely must have immediately drowned.

 

This was a night that would be remembered for years to come, especially by one cunning individual.

"Get your Almost Dragonic Brand™ bad weather merchandissse while it lasstss! You won't find any better umbrellas, earplugs, helmetsss and other protective clothing this sside of the black cloudsss above!" He had been shouting words like these ever since he was awakened by a particularly loud thunderclap that morning. His throat had gone a bit hoarse with the effort, but the coin jingling in his geldpouches had been well worth it.

His wellknown grin (dis?)gracing his face, he stepped into his chambers, pushing the door shut against the drafts howling trough the halls. He threw a soaked cloak he'd pulled over his head somewhere in a corner, revealing a set of equally wet (thankfully, those didn't soak) scales underneath. Shaking what water he could off his body before moving anywhere, he tossed a few woodblocks and some kindling into the hearth, with a few struck matches. It was a matter of seconds before the whole fireplace burned brightly in the updraft from the chimney, and the room was filled with a warmth comfortable for such a cold-blooded creature.

 

He walked up to a table littered with foiled and yet-to-be-tested schemes and a bermuda with a tail-sized hole in its rear end, moved some of the paperwork aside and emptied his geldpouches on it, coins filling the surface of the desk. Greedily, he began piling the coins into neat stacks, when his eye caught something that wasn't there before.

A plain, flimsy looking wooden box lay on his table, about as big as a well-sized fist, with a note attached to it. "Not to be opened by any non-Almost Draconic", in an unfamiliar handwriting.

"What'sss thiss now? And how did it get here? I ssshould notify the other eldersss to keep a better eye out on who walks into whossse quarterss, I sshould. But first, to open this suprissse" He thought to himself.

 

Wyvern shrugged and turned the box in his claws, looking for an opening.

Nothing.

He shook the box a few times, hoping to hear what was inside. "More preciousss geld ringing maybe?"

Again nothing.

Frustrated, he tossed the box against the nearest wall. It landed on the floor with a unnaturally loud thud, with no damage to the box at all, but a small indentation had been made in the wall.

Now angry, he took the box and tossed it into the hearth, with a few more woodblocks after it, and continued ordering his freshly earned geld, forgetting all about about the box.

 

Eventually, with a satisfied heart and a coffer again safely locked in his secret hiding place, but a bit more filled up than before, he scribbled some numbers on a paper, at the bottom of an already very long list of numbers, neatly added up every 5 times. With this done, he fell asleep quite fast, despite the storm still raging outside. Dreams of piles and more piles of geld, and an Almost Dragonic Brand™ monopoly on the entire trading system occupying his mind.

 

That morning, he woke up in the same state of euphoria as he had gone to sleep with.

He looked out a window at a clear blue sky, and his mind filled with dread for a moment, but almost immediately went into its euphoric state as his gears were set in motion once again. "No more umbrella sales today... but an umbrella makes an exxxcelent sssunssscreen"

He turned to walk out of his room to get something to eat when his eye caught something glistening in the fireplace. It was the box. Completely untarnished, other than it's outer wooden coating having burnt off, revealing a silvery shine underneath.

Wyvern's tail coiled as he picked it up, stinger slamming against the floor. "What isss it with this thing?"

He turned it around in his claws again, when he saw a hole had revealed itself from under the wood, exactly large enough to fit the claw of his thumb.

The moment he stuck his thumb in, the box somehow folded open on itself, capturing his thumb as it moved.

Wyvern now stood looking at his thumb, with a silvery ring -about the radius of a tennisball- right on the joint.

His thoughts blurred in outrage as to who put him up with this, when suddenly bright red letters started to somehow write themselves on the fleshy part of his thumb.

 

"Ah, Wyvern, dear Almost Draconian,

a good morning to you.

I guess, as the new applicant's custodian,

I should talk you, as I am new.

Thus hereby this message,

which does little but presage.

I intend a great work,

and hope it'll grant me passage.

When this work will be done?

I do not know.

Countless more risings of that beautiful sun,

is the best guess I can make.

 

For now though, I hope you take this in jest,

as there is also a message, on the back of your chest.

You can not read it there, but someone else can,

be it woman, child, but no man.

Get someone to speak it, and release you I shall,

before this ring of silver will make your life a hell.

 

Yours,

Mardrax"

 

OOC: First let me apologise for the horrid quality of that little poem

This was originally intended as an "I'm working on something but do not know when it's finished, but by posting here, I'm at least binding myself to finishing it" post. It came out as slightly more, which suits me fine. View it as an apllication in itself, if you feel inclined to and if you deem it worthy. Otherwise, this will probably be sitting here for a long time as I try to complete whatever it is I will be making

 

EDIT: why can't I edit the post's title and subject? the way it is now, it's crap... but I clicked too fast

EDIT2: edited slightly in hopes of better clarity, make-up error corrected

Mar

Edited August 31, 2006 by Mardrax

[Wyvern]

Wyvern goes cross-eyed as he reads the tiny words that span the length of his thumb, then shakes his head and curses to himself. The overgrown lizard begins searching under stacks of discarded schemes and shoving piles of wing-worn shirts to the side as the ring grows tighter around his claw.

 

"Go figure, the applicant's cussstodian delivers the message, and I gotta clean up the thumb graffiti." Wyvern knocks the remaining bucket of Almost Dragonic Brand Ogre-Approved Dumbrellas™ over with the back of his foot, then grimaces as the black asp provides a leg equivalent to the ring's finger squeeze. "Never have any luck with these cursed magical ring things, dammit."

 

Wyvern pauses as he notices the crooked edge of a trunk sticking up from under a pile of old "Bruteweiser (flash)Lite" marketing blueprints. The reptilian Elder licks his lips and sweeps the paper away, only to find an old Almost Dragonic Brand Invest-O-Chest™ covered in chocolate-dotted cobwebs. He lifts the chest with a grunt and glances at the bottom of it, then turns it and frowns at the illegible scrawl carved on the back side of it.

 

"Never thought this'd come back to haunt me." Wyvern curses and pushes the chest close to the tiny slit of a window, then raises a claw to his snout and calls to the pennites lounging in the courtyard below.

 

"'Ssscuse me! I need a gal or a brat-" Wyvern coughs for a moment. "Kid to decipher the silly message I made on the back of this chest a couple years back. First one to call it gets a free silver ring... (sales tax not included)."

 

OOC: Mardrax - I think that only moderators have the ability to edit topic titles and subtitles due to some annoying board technicalities. Sorry about that... PM me the title you'd like this thread changed to and I'd be happy to edit it for you. :-)

[Mardrax]

DISCLAIMER: This turned out alot longer than it should have, which I hope is evident from the size of your scrollbar Please bear with me for a while longer though, I feel it's almost completed, so it's probably only going to take me a gazilion more entries or so........ no really!... oh nevermind Honestly, like I say in the end, tomorrow's (it's been "tomorrow" for a while now, but alright) entry should be the last for a whole lot of time to come.

 

"In the now brightly sunlit courtyard of the Pennite Keep,

stood a stone that strangely shone

with a pulsing grayish radiance of light.

The Pennites saw the problem,

Evaded it like blight.

They gathered 'round at distance,

Pointing out the object of their fright.

 

Now at that time exactly,

just before half past ten,

The stone started transforming.

Some sort of pen?

 

The pen started drawing,

drawing in mid-air.

Along came a dawning,

on valleys so fair.

But out came aflying

A thing that sent out crying

cries of suprise from the crowd,

"It's a man!" "An elf!" "A wolf!" "a bear!"

 

The pen drew a chair,

which seated the thing,

that now seemed to shrink

into itself, like a terrorised hare

 

Smaller and smaller

until nothing was left.

The pen seemed somewhat taller

but left its drawings in death.

 

The crowd walked up closer,

step by careful step,

up to the pen, the chair and the dawn,

when they started feeling, that something was wrong.

 

A cry could be heard,

from on top of the chair.

From the point where it vanished,

into thin, and out of mid-air.

 

The crowd repulsed,

their reactions seemed

opposed and revulked.

 

But the cry turned to talking,

Conversation with itself.

 

I've now taken this report,

off of its shelf.

I've handed it to you,

so you can read for yourself

What we heard that day.

 

\ My head is pounding,

/ Do you guys mind,

\ I feel like I'm blind

/ how this is sounding?

 

\ It must be terrible

\ to listen to me now.

/ The drums overpowering,

\ but no, something, somehow?

\ The piano rising trough,

\ ascending, quiet arpeggios,

\ telling their scenarios,

\ of things I did not knew.

 

\ I listen to myself

\ and wonder where I am,

\ who that myself is,

\ and where it all began.

 

\ I listen to myself,

 

/ I AM you!

\ This cannot be...

/ Why won't you see?

\ This cannot be me...(and you)

 

\ Why don't you stay out?

\ And you?

\ And you?

 

\ I've never needed you before...

/ But you will need me now (and me, and me)

\ But... But... How could you be?

/ You just opened the door,

/ but don't worry,

/ We'll be more... and more (and more, and more)

 

\ Why won't you just leave?

/ Guys, can you believe? (no, no, no)

/ One, two, no threefold. (yes, yes, yes)

/ Yes, will we do as we're told, and leave him be? (no, no, no, no)

/ Well you have your answer there, tee hee.

\ How can I get you out?

/ Only by eliminating our host.

/ Who for you is now a ghost

/ So why do you not see?

/ You're no match for me.

X (and me, and me, and me, and me, and me?)

= Ah, my girl, but do YOU not see,

= I can just clear my memory

= of thee.

 

With that, followed a horrible cry

the like of which I heard before, nor since.

The day still has not come where I could rinse

myself clean of what passed by

 

The thing, now a man

appeared anew.

It (he?) stood up from his chair,

He entwined his fingers,

after a stroke trough his hair-

long curling patterns,

for his shoulders to bear-

and a crack could be heard,

as his fingers let go.

The expression he wore,

was too far from fair,

when he noticed the attention he drew

and this, my friends, is how his story here began.

 

He made a quick bow,

ascertained us of how much he wished

his business here trough.

Told us of how

for every discomfort he'd rue.

 

Now listen to my final words,

as I recite his first:

 

"Good.. morning I guess...

Oooh look at the time, is it that late already?

Oooh I realy should get moving fast,

if I am to be done here anytime soon.

I'm awfully sorry for any ill ease I caused"

He said nervously,

as he drew breath and paused.

"I'll be quick to assure you,

I'm completely lost.

I dont think that miss

from the tour sent us here.

I just must have missed

a "do not got here",

or jumped an odd fence

yet I meant it not as offense.

I'll be as fast out as I can

I won't be any... ooh... what do I hear hence?"

 

He asked, as he reared his head,

and lo', I thought my ear was misled

Out of the window-

of the recruiter's office, near-

Hung a wyvern's head,

asking a listening ear.

It asked for help,

a vicious sounding plee

and offer a reward,

or two, or three.

 

The man fixed his eye,

and shrunk again,

into himself...

along came the pen,

and the dawn in the drawn sky.

 

Along came the chair,

swooping -rolling a few

pebbles away-

as it was drawn in last.

 

Then now shall I recall,

what from thenforth on passed?"

"Ah, no father, you've told that story a countless times!"

"Yeah let's hear another one! How about that time when you convinced that big old dragon to eat vegetarian food!"

"Alright, alright"

 

The father replied,

His two sons bathing

in flickering candlelight

And so his story began,

or so I have heard.

For after I listened,

I fled like a bird.

This report of my story,

then dozens, now scores of years passed

-how things can be so clear, so far in the past-

I listened to it as it was told.

and later, if I may be so bold,

I've never experienced,

anything like that,

or before, for that.

 

With that, I shall retire to sleep.

As these old stories,

my memory do keep.

I do hope to live to gain more memories.

 

OOC: and with that intentionally horrible last line, and that horrible sense of unfinishedness I close up my write-up today. By the way, hereby a hopefully somewhat better poemy thing, as a make-up gift (or so I hope at least), in return for the horrid one yesterday

 

The italised and such poem and the center was supposed to be the main point of this part of the story, it seems I once again ended up doing more than I planned, spinning a bit of complicated conversation and it probably won't work out very well everywhere. That's the thing with spontanity I guess... Not everything works as it should The next reason for an apology, perhaps?

 

I'll just stop voicing my thoughts now and probably return in 10 or so hours to write the last of this interactive threepiece

The rest of this self-proclaimed "great work" will not follow anytime within foreseeable time, so you can see it as a complete piece when I'm finished with the next bit. (with anything later or in the meantime added by you ofcourse being part... I didn't choose to involve you without reason )

 

Edit: horribe make-up error in the main poem and a typo in the end removed

Edited August 30, 2006 by Mardrax

[Mardrax]

OOC: I don't know where that blast-from the past style bit came from yesterday night (or frankly, I do, but I don't feel like explaining now, nor will I probably ever, nor do I see a need to )

but it's there and for that, I'll adhere to my philosophy of "it's signed so I won't touch it anymore", even though there probably are some things in it I would improve (or rather, change) now, if just to prevent conflicting with myself. From here on I will continue and hopefully end this threepiece

 

"I appeared behind the lizard, his head still looking out.

A hiss from the asp warned him of my coming.

He looked around and saw me standing, my head then still full of hair, my face then uncarved by the lines that riddle it now, my poise still upright, without the cane I have here.

 

Yes, my friends, students, children, I haven't always been this way. Once there were people who saw me as little more than the way I see you now, but please, hush for a while longer, as I continue.

 

"And who might we have here?" He asked, an agonised look on his face, as far as his scaly kind is able to accurately display such emotions. I took a deep bow, the ends of my hair touching the stone floor of his room, and greeted him.

"Well hello mister Wyvern, caught in my little trap I see? I'm sorry if it causes you any distress, as I surely didn't mean to, that I swear. It must be a malfunction, I didn't design it at all to... oh nevermind."

I then spoke three words, the meaning and sound of which have been lost to all but a few, and I won't bother you with specifics. In fact, it's been so long I've used that language I'm not sure I even would be able to now."

 

A look of sorrow, of longing for older days came over his face, as it had done frequently the last few weeks, but he continued nonetheless, after having taken a deep breath.

 

"Sure enough, the ring began to fold back in on itself, into the box it had been before, and dropped to the floor. "Feel free to keep that tidbit, it might help you raise a tidy profit some day, if you do, make sure you'll send me the commission though." I said as I winked at the then-freed lizard. "I'm dreadfully sorry to bypass my self-set rules here, but again, I swear I didn't mean to trouble you as much as I did."

While I babbled on he regained his composure, and turned his full body to face me, squirming to overcome the cramped quarters of his living conditions, his tail sending a few things falling to the floor as he did.

"You surely must have figured out by now mister, but allow me to introduce myself nonetheless, as it would be horibly impolite for me to do without... Oh! I'm terribly sorry! Please help me pick that up for you."

I scrambled around him, picking up the few things he'd knocked down and setting them on his desk.

"Would you like them here sir? Or here? Or maybe'll I'll better just put them over there so you don't..."

I continued after having rearranged the things a few times, to which he crankily replied:

"Just leave them there will you, and stop messing around with my stuff unless I charge you extra for the wear?"

"Oooh... wouldn't want that... again I'm dreadfully sorry if I caused any..."

I paused as his snout dipped ever lower and lower, and his eyes narrowed to tiny slits.

I coughed, and continued.

"I am one known by many names, trough many places, of which I've forgotten more than most people can remember, which also includes me, hence my forgetting. I think... or was it?..."

"Never mind, I get your point, now would you tell me who you are and what business you have putting me in this vice of yours?"

The lizard didn't seem like he would be having a good mood anytime soon.

"You can call me Mardrax, as that is the one name I can seem to keep remembering, and also one of the few you would be able to pronounce in any way approaching proper. I am what they call, a "Watcher". I travel around alot, hang around alot more, which gets boring at times so I'll not be guaranteed to be just an onlooker most of the time. I don't why or how I travel around though, I just seem to... do it. Although lately, I seem to have been able to control it more. Must be the youthful uncontrolability wearing off. Although ofcourse, comparing my years to yours, you wouldn't hardly have called me a youth a year back... By which ofcourse I don't mean or imply anything, not about you being so much younger than me anyway... I mean... Oh my, what have I talked myself into this time? Would you excuse for a few seconds?"

 

To his eyes, after that last question, I seemed to fall asleep on the spot, to myself, quite different, but I've drawn that picture quite enough times for me to bore you haven't I?"

 

The old man emptied his cup, the last bit of visible steam having dissipated from it even before he'd once again taken up this part of his story. His face contorted in an expression of disgust, the skin on his nose and between his eyebrows becoming even more pronouncedly wrinkled than it had already been.

"Jane, would you be so kind as to fetch an old man another drink?"

The girl nodded, silently stood up from her place in the semi-circle of listeners, took the man's cup and carried it away. She came back with it filled a few moments later, although the man was fully back into his storytelling then, so I choose to report this in this interlude, rather than break up his story for it.

He drew another deep breath as the girl walked away, a gleam seemingly sparking in his eye as he watched her walking off -but who ever really knew what he was thinking?- and he continued his story.

 

"I opened my eyes again, and the beastperson was still looking at me, rubbing his thumb in his other hand. I drew breath deeply and talked again: "However I travel, I am always brought to places where great things happen, or are bound to happen. Either way, this is where I feel I must be now, and again I'll apologise for any distress I cause while I'm here."

The lizard eyed me for a while longer, the slits of his eyes opening a bit, until he told me that if I wanted to apply for a membership to their group, I just had to fill in the... and here he said some words I would rather not bring back into the world... registration form in a somewhat rude way.

I asked him where these forms were and he answered: "In the..." and again he splurted some words I would rather not repeat "...registration office!"

"So you mean I wasn't to apply to you directly? Oh I'm so terribly sorry. I truly am. Do you mean that side-building over there? I'll go there now to fill one out then... don't worry, I'll find my way out here and in there."

 

And with that, the world twirled in on itself in front of my eyes, fading into a swirly grey mass, only to keep on twirling until it stabilised again a second or two later. I landed with my head on the stone floor of the registration office, accompanied by a loud bang, later muffled by my clothes which dropped down over my head. I gathered myself up, straightened my hair back out of my face, brough my belt back into its proper position and looked around the small office.

Stacks of a material we then called paper were piled high all around the room. Most prominent were two stacks of sheets, one a bit more orderly stack than the other, on the desk.

I looked at the top sheet of one stack. It was riddled with letters you would not recognise now. Penned full of scriblings, notes, corrections. I looked at the other stack. The top sheet was empty, but for a few words: "Name", "Gender", "Race", "Place of Birth", "Date of Birth", "Current Age", "Anything you'd like to tell?"

I took the sheet, carefully thinking about what I was to write, then taking up this from a pocket somewhere in my clothes."

 

With this the man drew something from behind his ear. It looked like a stick, but one end looked incredibly sharp, and it gleamed in the flickering light of our fire, showing us the flames as if he were holding up a bit of ice when he held it up to show us, but we could not look trough it. He continued speaking as he put it back behind his ear.

 

"This is what we called a pen. We used it for writing, and perhaps, the offspring of your offspring's offspring will use something similar. Or perhaps they will not. That aside, I started filling in the blank bits in the form:

Name: Mardrax

Gender: unknown

Race: └┼┘

Place of Birth: ╔╧╬╦╝ ╞═╡

Date of Birth: ∑∆ ╙╥

Current Age: unknown

Anything you'd like to tell?: no

 

And right on that moment, a tail stinger came trough the office's small window, followed by a pair of feet, with an asp coiled around a leg behind them...

 

EDIT: OOC: alright, not quite done yet, it needs a finish which has already sprouted in my head somewhere, I just need to get it out... in the meantime, deal with it as you would had I not stated it needs to be finished, as I need you to do just that to even be able to finish

Edited August 30, 2006 by Mardrax

[Wyvern]

"Hey! Hey!" Wyvern bumped his head against the half-opened Office window and let out a long string of curses, then tumbled tail first into the bulges of paperwork and candywrappers that cluttered the floor. The overgrown lizard lifted himself with a grunt, then reached into his pouch and pulled out the folding box containing Mardrax's silver ring. He pointed towards the applicant with an accusatory claw and shoved the box in front of his face.

 

"I followed the little trail of swirly gray. Lisssten..." Wyvern paused for a moment and bit his lip, then glanced at the words written on his thumb and squinted at the odd handwriting. "Murdock?"

 

"Mardrax."

 

"Riiiiight. Well listen, Mardrock, I'm not buyin' it for a minute."

 

"Hmmm? Whatever do you mean?"

 

"I've ssseen tricks like this before, and I ain't falling for it." Wyvern pointed at the little box with the ring and shook it in front of Mardrax's face. "You trap me with this thing and write this weird graffiti over my claws, sneak into my room unheard despite the "Keepe Owt Applycantz" sign and immaculate Almost Dragonic Brand Ale-arm™, then claim yer a vet and vanish into thin air... and you expect me to believe you undid the cursed ring like that?"

 

"Well... yes, actually."

 

"Well, I may be more of a selling type to begin with, but I don't buy it!" Wyvern tilted his tagged thumb and held it inches away from the applicant's nose. "If you'd really undone the effects of that little trap of yours, my finger would no longer be tagged. Now c'mon."

 

"Errrrrrr." Mardrax winced as Wyvern grabbed him by the arm and began dragging him in the direction of the Office window. "W-where are we going?"

 

"Back to my quarters." Wyvern continued to drag Mardrax by the arm, nearing the window. "I've got something scrawled on the back of an Almost Dragonic Brand Invest-O-Chest™ that needs to be read, and you're gonna be the one who finds a gal or kid to read it!"

[Mardrax]

The man spasmed the moment Wyvern pulled his arm. The scaled creature's body lurching lurching violently up and over the Mardrax' body. The man's other arm shot up to catch the flying wyrm in mid air, just barely missing the leg with the asp coiled around and firmly clutching the other.

His other arm shooting up to prevent Wyvern's head from sagging to the ground on the end of his long neck, the direction of gravity turned a straight angle in a split-second jerk. He turned the head to look staright into his eyes, which had now turned a blazing red, where before they had been a bland grey.

 

"It's Mardrax... pseudo-beast," he spat. "Remember that name well as I send you to your ... No!... Get out!"

The man twitched, shaking the Wyvern violently.

"You... stay away... this is.... my... business... now. No..... will..... not.... allow...

Get out of my head, damn you!

You.... you have no more business here. You will regret saying that. No... I will not. Regardless, you can't get rid of me, I am you, you are I Yeah.... a speech I've heard often. Yet you still don't see it's simple truth... you cannot deny me. No, but I can banish you for now."

 

With this, both man and wyvern dropped to the floor, the man's frame no longer able to support the winged creature's massive weight.

As the wyvern scrambled up, and back up against a wall, he outstretched his limbs and neck, giving noise to a whole range of bones cracking and snapping back into place and eyed the heap of robes now sprawled out on the ground, quivering, slowly coming back into motion with a feeling of mixed fear, wonder, curiosity and shock.

 

Slowly, sagging trough his knees two times in the process, the man stood up, going trough about the same process as the wyvern. He flexed his limbs and bent his neck this way and that, giving noise to an less impressive, but equally earwracking range of clacking bones. He stroked his robes back into proper shape, adjusted his belt for the second time in five minutes.

 

"I'm dreadfully sorry about that." His eyes were back to their former bland grey as he returned the wyverns look. His voice sounded truly apologetic. He looked... hurt, if anything... afraid, if anything else. "I really hope that didn't hurt too much, it's just that... at times... when I'm threatened, mostly.... that... happens. I try to control it, and sometimes... sometimes I can. Other times... Let's just say I'm glad I got back in control at the time I did, and not a few seconds later. Are you quite alright?"

The wyvern squinted and snarled: "Yeah... now come with me to read whatever I have scrawled on there and get this over with."

He started to work himself back out of the window, but when he was halfway trough, that same fearful voice stopped him.

 

"Eehm... Sir?" "Yeah?" "How about my application?" "Not... now." "Alright... I think... I'll just leave it here on your desk then. Alright?" The lizard grunted and made the rest of his way out of the window.

Mardrax cocked an eyebrow as he watched the lizard make his way out of the window, shrugged, and pulled the chair so many applicants had waited on under the window, making his way out trough it and landing on the muddy grass outside.

"Ye sure took yer sweet time."

"Oh... I'm dreadfully sorry to have..."

"I know the drill by now kid... come on."

"Alright... but might I ask we walk to your quarters? I seem to lack the means of transport your back sports."

The lizard grunted and was already walking.

 

"I'm glad we have the time to talk now Mister Wyvern, so I can clear up some misconceptions I seem to have caused. That ring? It wasn't cursed, it was... malfunctioning. I must have made a mistake in making it... I might not be fully mortal like you, I am however just as prone to mistakes as you are, or probably I am even more so. It wasn't a ring either, on that matter, it's my -fully patented in more worlds than I have hands on this finger, I mean... you know what I mean- it's a piece of Instant Jewelry. A construct of my own device I might add, though the box it came in wasn't. That came from the" -the man made a strange gurgling sound here- "of" -another gurlging sounds, this one somewhat longer and with a slight change in tone- "I must add I altered this one make its jewelry a bit more gaudy, or rather, a bit more... big. Had you found a way to get it around your neck, it would have been well the size of a millstone. But enough of that."

 

The lizard muttered a reply as they passed the courtyard from which the previously gathered crowd had begun to dissipate, and which was now host to several groups of talking people. Some looked for a while, a few even stared as the two figures passed in between them. Something strange in the keep was always a sight to behold, but the fad of it faded fast.

 

"About that message on the back of your chest, I fear you have misinterpreted me there as well, if you would be so kind as to let me show you. Little miss, would you be so kind as to lend a hand by reading something?"

He tapped a young girl on the shoulder, talking in rapid speech to a dwarf. Both were about the same size, but they were quite easily distinguished by the abundance of youth in one, and the lack of it in the other. The pink skippyball the girl held on to by a single handle also did little to merge her in with the crowd.

 

"Sure!" The girl said as she whirled around. "What'cha want me read? Ooooh...." Her eyes seemed to grow larger as Mardrax raised the lizard's shirt a bit, then she ran around to face the lizard.

"Hey Wyvern mister elder sir? Why do you have stuff written on your back?"

At this, Wyvern would have probably raised eyebrow, were it not for his distinct lack of them.

"Would you please just read it aloud?"

"Shure!" The girl hopped back around the wyvern again, trailing her skippyball behind her.

"Let me see now... it says... everything equals four? What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nevermind that miss. I thank you."

With that, the man made a small bow and turned around. The girl shrugged and walked back to the dwarf, chattering happily against him before too long.

The man walked on, leaving the lizard standing uncharacteristically baffled for a few seconds before catching up.

 

"Now is there anything else you'd like to discuss with me?... I'd be more than happy to help you with anything you've written yourself you can't decipher anymore, but I'll be quick to assure you I'm not responsible for any other messages anywhere, and I actually can't think of what I meant by that little tidbit on your back, which, by the way, is gone now. And if you'd care to take a look at your thumb, that's nothing but a blank canvas now too. Would have been soon enough, as it was just regular ink... I think."

[Wyvern]

"Everything equalsss four." Wyvern scratched his scaly chin, deep in thought, his tail swinging from side to side. "Hmmmm."

 

"Well, if there's anything else you'd like to discuss, just-"

 

"Wait!" Wyvern snapped a claw in the air and lit up like a batch of near-lethal cherrybombs. He turned to Mardrax and reached for the applicant's shoulder, only to hesitate and think better of it. One "mentally unstable red eyed bone cracker" routine was more than enough for the day. "Wait wait wait. Everything equalsss four... it makes perfect sense to me. Everything that's occured in this application process so far should have a four geld fee! Hold on for just a sec."

 

Wyvern pulled out a sheet of blank paper from his Devil's Advocate folder, then began scribbling a long list of pointers on it with a crooked quill. He licked his claw and rustled the page in the air for a moment, then handed it to Mardrax with a sneer. The applicant raised a brow and shifted a hand through his curly hair as he read through the almost dragonic scrawl.

 

----

 

Fees for Application Process, as of the Graffiti Removal

Compiled by Wyvern Q. AlmostDragon.

 

1) Boobytrapping Wyvern's quarters with some sorta mystic Chinese Fingertrap fee - 4 geld.

2) Parking your radiating stone in a "No Stoner Radiation Zone" fee - 4 geld

3) Man/elf/wolf/bear/rock/trigometric equation confusion fee - 4 geld

4) Loud monologue in Courtyard disrupting the quiet of the Library fee - 4 geld

5) Lengthy introduction time fee - 4 geld

6) Statement implying that Wyvern is "young buck punk" fee - 4 geld

7) Entering Wyvern's personal quarters without knocking, yelling, or walking into a trap fee - 4 geld

Failure to clean up after swirling gray mass escape fee - 4 geld

9) Statements implying almost dragonic obeseity through ring sizes fee - 4 geld

10) Red eyed assault incident fee - 4 geld

11) Failure to acknowledge the importance of Almost Dragonic Brand Invest-O-Chest™ fee - 4 geld

12) Inability to explain the four geld fee system fee - 4 geld

 

Almost Dragonic Brand Sales Tacks - Free upon payment.

 

Total geld owed thus far - 48 geld

 

----

 

"Oh, but before you pay that, there's another lil' issssue that needs resolving."

 

Wyvern waved a claw towards Appy and her skippyball.

 

"The reward may have been for reading the back of my Almost Dragonic Brand Invest-O-Chest™, but I'm sure this brave lil' gal was hoping to recieve that silver ring I promised. Sssince your little trap is currently registered at 'tennis ball' size, I don't think it'll do." Wyvern looked both ways, then raised a claw to Mardrax's ear and whispered. "Find a silver ring to give'er, and I just might check out yer Pen application."

[Mardrax]

Mardrax stood baffled, the long list of supposed crimes in hand, looking at them for a while before turning his head to Wyvern.

 

"I don't think I have another ring on hand, though I can have a look for something equally pleasing to her."

He began rummaging trough the several deep pockets in his outer robe, taking out a few odd looking objects, (which looked to be together far too big to fit in the pocket they came from), putting them back again, coming up with other, even stranger items, and putting those back too, all the while mumbling things in a language strange to all present, eventually replaced by an "Ah! Here it is!" Both hands came from his pockets simultaneously, one covered in some purplish slime that seemed to dissipate before it had a chance to drip off, -and of which no sign could be seen less than 10 seconds after he pulled the hand out- the other holding a brass box, with a strange organic pattern of silver filigree all around it's side and on its top.

A small button was on its front and a little dial was on each side.

 

"Say little Miss? Would you be so kind as to join us again for a moment?"

The girl looked around from her conversation with the dwarf, which she now held sitting atop the skippyball. "Shure!" She said, as she was already bouncing back.

"This here is for you, as a reward for helping Mister Wyvern here with his graffiti problem." He leaned closer to the girl, whispering something in her ear, causing a giggle to erupt, and stood straight again, holding out the box to show her.

 

He pushed the button and its lid flipped open, revealing a black stick about two inches in length -which he promptly took out and gave to the girl- and a small basin filled with a viscous red substance inside the box.

The girl looked at the stick in puzzlement. "Just pull it." She did, and as she did, the stick kept on growing longer. "You can push and pull it to become any size you want, but that's not the best part... Shake it a few times." This to she did, and to her amazement, with each shake, a hair sprouted from one end, until she had a full brush in her hand.

"Gee.... Thanks!" Appy offered as she prepared to turn around, but Mardrax stopped her. "I'm not done yet, little Miss. This is supposed to come with it." He handed her the brass box. "It's a sort of paint, but you can fill it back up with plain water, if it's ever empty. But now, turn a dial."

The paint turned from red to pink, to white, to pink, to red, to crimson, to black and back to red as she turned the dial on one side. It turned from red to orange, to green, to yellow, to blue, to purple and back to red again as she turned the other dial.

Mardrax smiled as he saw the girl's face light up. He pushed the lid closed again, and nodded to her.

"Thanks again!" She said as she bounced back to the dwarf.

 

The man turned back to the wyvern, brushing a few locks of hair behind his ears which had fallen in front of his face somewhere between the search started and the girl bounced away. "I hope that's satisfactory for you, though I still wonder: What do you mean by this... geld?"

[Wyvern]

Wyvern stared at Mardrax in a mixture of utter confusion and fascination over the applicant's Racouol-esque pockets.

 

"... Come again?"

 

"What's 'geld'?"

 

"Excuse me?" Wyvern rubbed a claw under one of his horns to make sure he was hearing things correctly. "What did you say?"

 

"'Geld'... what is it?"

 

"What's geld?!" Wyvern threw his scaly arms in the air and let out a hopeless guffaw, then began heading back in the direction of the Pen's Courtyard. "Come on. You ain't tricking me for a minute!"

 

"But, I really don't-"

 

"If you don't have pieces of gold a.k.a hard currency a.k.a the key to happiness, then I'd suggessst getting a part time job feeding Waterlily so you can save up to pay off the fees." Wyvern strode through the Courtyard, then turned to Mardrax and began scaling the wall towards his Office window. "Mark down 'Failure to produce silver ring fee' and 'Lack of financial knowledge fee' on that sheet, then get yer swirling gray mass up here so I can review your application."

 

Wyvern grunted and squeezed himself through the half-open window, only to find that Mardrax had already relocated himself back into the Office. A thin wisp of gray seemed to trail from the applicant's feet as he seated himself back in an applicant easychair. Wyvern promptly hopped towards the cluttered Recruiter's desk and pulled Mardrax's application from the tip of the piles, then looked it over while nodding in intervals.

 

"Mmmhm. Mmhmm. Mmhm." Wyvern folded the application sheet back up and tossed it back onto his desk. "Nope, sssorry. NEXT!"

 

Mardrax stared at Wyvern with a dumbfounded expression on his face, ingesting the overgrown lizard's response in silence for a long moment.

 

"What do you mean 'Nope'...?"

 

"Sssorry, we currently have too many applicants who hail from ╔╧╬╦╝ ╞═╡, and it's important that we maintain the diversity of the crowd here at the Pen, with the limited amount of living space and all." Wyvern leaned back in his favorite desk chair and waved a claw in the air. "Neeexxxxxxxxt!"

 

"You mean after all this, I'm not accepted?!" Mardrax raised a hand to his curly hair and seethed with anger, his eyes slowly turning to a shade of red. "How... dare... yo-"

 

Mardrax's furious voice was interupted by a long gale of almost dragonic laughter. Wyvern twirled in his chair and snatched Mardrax's application sheet back up, stamping it 'ACCEPTED.' The reptilian Elder then slammed the sheet back down on his desktop and roared with laughter, pointing a claw towards Mardrax's face.

 

"I-I jussst had to see if I cou-could get the eyes to, y'know?!" Wyvern slapped the asp on his knee and continued laughing as Mardrax's eyes faded back to their normal state. "HAHAHAAAW! Yah, yer ACCEPTED, now get outta here and find a way to pay that geld ya owe me, ya sucker! HAAHAAAAA!"

 

;-)

 

OOC: An ACCEPTED application piece, Mardrax. :-) I hope that you find the Pen a very friendly and cooperative community of people to share your writing with, and look forward to reading more of your stuff here. Welcome!