"Excision" by Zadown

[Wyvern]

Zadown,

 

I read through "Excision" today, and thought it was excellent. I was actually surprised at how exciting and fast-paced a read it was, as it initially seemed long but was over before I knew it. I really liked the various interactions between the characters in this, especially in the scene where Faaye arrives and displays her scars to the Dreamer. I also really liked how you characterized Marchello in the more casual setting of his academy, as it definitely created sympathy for his character and offered some new dimensions to his role in the grand scheme of things. The final fight with Palgrave and his extending staff was very exciting, and the ultimate failure of Zadown's ambush was definitely a big surprise to me after all the work he put into setting it up. Oh, and the Dreamer was his bad-ass self as usual, of course... I loved the moment when he told the portal-guard "I may be short on angels, fool, yet fail t' answer me properly this once an' I'll be one more archangel short." Classic piece of Dreamer dialogue right there. ;-) I must admit, I was a bit surprised at his decision to kill one of the mage students as an example, since we've seen him refrain from unecessary deaths in past stories, but the mercilessness certainly fits with his character. I also liked how the Dreamer decided to give away the blue flame at the end of the story, as his statement about its grief seemed to resonate with wisdom.

 

While the jumps in the narrative were very good for the most, I was uncertain of the role that the first post played in the story, with the Dreamer creating the pathway through the lava to the Fortress Syvkiv. Also, there were one or two awkward moments of adverbs following adverbs, such as "seemingly aimlessly" near the beginning of the sixth post. Still, that's just nitpicking over an otherwise excellent story. :-)

 

Great stuff, Zadown! Sorry that it's taken me so long to get to it.

[Zadown]

Thanks for another review, I always look forward to them.

 

I must admit, I was a bit surprised at his decision to kill one of the mage students as an example, since we've seen him refrain from unecessary deaths in past stories, but the mercilessness certainly fits with his character.

It was the Dreamer equivalent of a warning shot, really. He was shot with a spell and there was a number of other spells being readied in the tavern, and that mirror image of him was not quite as impervious to damage as the real Dreamer is. Anyways, I guess I should be glad I can still surprise after so many stories instead of explaining myself.

 

While the jumps in the narrative were very good for the most, I was uncertain of the role that the first post played in the story, with the Dreamer creating the pathway through the lava to the Fortress Syvkiv.

The post really didn't have any role as long as the story itself is concerned as such - it's there mainly for 'sense of wonder' and a description of a fortified, guarded planewalker hideout. While the Dreamer saga may seem like a well-planned story most of the time, it really just is me painting the visions I have of his wanderings with words. Some of it is just slice of life -stuff, if ye can use such a term of an immortal: the Dreamer going on about his daily business, as far from our everyday life it ends up being. It provides background for future material if nothing else.

 

lso, there were one or two awkward moments of adverbs following adverbs, such as "seemingly aimlessly" near the beginning of the sixth post.

Hmm, will keep an eye out for stuff like that then.

 

Ye've almost caught up with me, I'll have to hurry with Divergence now.