Serious Crumble

[Two]

1. Crumble

Crumble is fat

And baby girl pink. Fleshy soft

Cheeks, with dripping jowls

His pen-striped suit flows

From the seams, upwelling

Surging, across the massive expanses

But Crumble dances. He dances

On pliant ankles, on red feet

He dances with aimless excitement

Here, then quickly there

Rapid rhythm, on pitched music

Discordant notes pinging off his face.

And Crumble thinks, or worries

Like a bridge lady about tea cups

And only those that come to his party

Adore his pattern. And Crumble swells.

2. Crumble's Wife

The wife sleeps at night

She's regular, but the wedlock

Is already old. She screams,

She beats on Crumble

Sometimes she thinks he will return

Her affections, he doesn't

Tight yellow skin, and bones

Jutting out like fingers pushing through rubber latex

Frying pan grease in her hair

Dirty apron and dust everywhere

But she'd like to clean Crumble

Clean Crumble good!

She has thoughts on the lizard

But only when she lets herself

He's not what she had in mind

When she was young. Or last night

3. The Lizard

The lizard was low in his belly

When Crumble found him, in a moment

Of weakness brought him home

The ragged worm, cold and craving on his own

Accord. His arthritis makes it hard

For him to change positions

Midget man, all glasses and fine fingers

With his unkept face, and untucked tails

Always eating what would be left-overs

He hears all Crumble's inclinations, and sees

All the wife's moves. He watches her

And Crumble pets him like the best man

And he doesn't think. He doesn't think

At all

[HappyBuddha]

Wow! I like it. More later.

[Wyvern]

I found this a very interesting poem, Guest1. :-) I really like a number of the original and evocative details that you incorporated throughout it. I also think that the structure centered around Crumble's life worked well, and I really liked the endings of each of the stanzas. The entire poem is nicely worded and phrased.

 

One thing that I was uncertain about in this poem was the role of the lizard. I picked up on Crumble's arrogance and marital problems in the first two parts, but was not sure what the unthinking lizard was meant to signify in the third part.

 

Very good poem, overall.

[Nyyark]

I think the lizard is the biggest of Crumble's marital problems, sleeping with his wife and all.

 

I really liked this. It was cool how the structure and the and content augmented on another. I also like how more and more shades meaning appeared as the poem progressed.

 

Neat stuff, keep it up.