Wyvern Posted June 21, 2005 Report Share Posted June 21, 2005 I really liked this story, Zadown. I thought that the descriptions throughout it were very vivid and detailed, perhaps even more so than some of the previous Dreamer stories. This really helped in bringing the setting and characters to life, which made for a good read. I found the incorrigibly headstrong character of Shanna very interesting and entertaining, and hope that she'll make an appearence in some future Dreamer tale. My favourite part of the story was actually when Shanna finally decided to soften up just a tiny bit to ask the Dreamer whether or not he passed his test, to which he responded "Who knows?" That was an awesome exchange that left me with a smile on my face. :-) I also really liked the first Dreamer battle scene where he slays the trueblood demon and proves Shanna's "Old Man" nagging wrong. I was actually surprised by how well the Dreamer maintained his temper throughout Shanna's complaints, and attributed it to the nature of his test. ;-) A few very minor tidbits you might consider improving: in the second post, the phrase "I don't know how an old, scarred guy like you are supposed to help us, not even knowing anything." should have an "is" rather than an "are" in it to maintain proper tense. I also felt that the color-coding of the dialogue in the third post was somewhat unecessary, as just giving the dialogue would gradually reveal the speakers to the reader. Finally, I was caught off-guard at first when the battle between the Dreamer and Zadown was skipped over, and thought that it might have more dramatic tension if it was told in the linear narrative rather than through memories. Just a matter of taste, though. Great stuff, once again. Bring on "Serenity!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts