The Hydrushank Redemption

[Hydrus]

Three sharped dressed lawyer types seated themselves behind the desk, two men, one woman. They shuffled paper in front of them, and studied various legal documents through expensive glasses. The woman, in the middle, looked up.

 

"Bailiff, bring him in please."

 

"Yes Ma'am."

 

The large burly guard opened a door and ushered in a small stout figure. At first the figure is shrowded in well positioned shadows, but an occasional glimpse can be made of a dirty, muscled arm or a strage burst of orange hair. The figure is escorted to a lone chair in the middle of the otherwise empty room. He sits, facing the panel.

 

"Mr Hydrobear, as you are aware the time for your parole assessment is once again upoin us. The objective of this panel is to assess your progerss through the prison system, your current mental state, and whether or not you're ready to rejoin society." says the woman, as if reading from a prepared statement. She pauses a moment, looks at a piece of paper, then at the figure.

 

"Mr Hydrobear, you were imprisoned for some very serious crimes. Theft, assault, bribery, fraud....you were arrested for being drunk and disorderly one hundred and eighty six times. You've been in more bar fights than any other known person-"

 

"What can I say, I'm popular."

 

"You once bashed a rocking horse for, and i quote, "looking at you strangely"-"

 

"He was asking for it!"

 

"...You once killed an elf trying to get your autograph."

 

"How was I supposed to know it was loaded?"

 

The woman takes off her glasses. There is a pause. Finally the man on the right speaks.

 

"Are you aware that you're still wanted in six states for the murder of innocent squirrels?"

 

The dwarf shifts in his chair. "I don't like to talk about my past."

 

The woman sighs and takes off her sunglasses. "What we're asking, Mr Hydrobear, is do you believe that you are above the law because of your movie star status, do you believe you can get away with these things because you have been in a few movies?"

 

The figure smiles. "No, I can get away with them because I'm me."

 

 

"My Hydrobear," says the man, "If released, what do you plan on doing?"

 

 

"Actually, I was thinking of starting a music career......"

 

 

 

I'm back! Consider this my humble application for membership of the Pen. If I remember right, this will be about my third time joining, but this time, it's permament, I promise!

 

A great big dwarfy mowhawk clad "hello" to anyone old enough to vaguely remember me. Sorry it's been so long, but I finally got a new computer and have returned to hang out with some good friends. I'm back and raring to get into some dastardly pen enmightying adventures. And yes, I just made that word up.

 

 

Hydrus

Edited January 19, 2005 by Hydrus

[Gyrfalcon]

Welcome back, Hydrus. I'll note that you've retained your former status as an Initiate, and have been set back to that status. Though I should really make you a Weenie just for missing the last rolecall.

[Hydrus]

Oh yeah... Oh well I guess it was good to reapply anyway, just to get back in the swing of things. You know me, a stickler for protocol.

 

Anyway, good to see you again Gyr, hope lifes treating you well.

 

 

 

Hydrus

[Wyvern]

The man slowly shifts in his position in his chair, eyeing Hydrobear suspiciously and shuffling through several papers.

 

"I see, a music career. In what genre of music, might I ask?"

 

"Well, I was sort of thinking of something along the lines of death metal."

 

"Ah." The prison warden fidgets uneasily, marking a few notes down on one of his sheets. "Mr. Hydrobear, according to our records, you have starred in such films as 'The Mighty Pen Chainslaw Massacre with Fries,' 'Hideous Murder on the Athenaeum Express,' and 'Tavern of the Bloodied Harpy Quill...'"

 

"That's correct!" Hydrobear grins, breezing a hand through his mowhawk. "Though that's not counting the indie flicks of course, like 'Manor of Mass Anihilation' and 'Zoollander.'"

 

The man nods to this calmly, then shuffles his papers, only to nervously disarrange them and shuffle them again.

 

"Well *ahem*" The warden places his chin on his knuckles and frowns deeply, facing Hydrobear for a moment and then turning towards the second man. "What do you think, Charlie?"

 

"I think it's great!" cries Charlie happily as he plays an ultra-violent fighting game on his hand-held gaming system. "I loved that film 'Hideous Murder on the Athenaeum Express.' May I have your autograph, Mr. Hydrobear sir?"

 

The sound of a weapon loading accentuates Hydrobear's smile. "That depends... Do you feel lucky, punk?"

 

The first man sighs and shakes his head as the woman frantically searches for her glasses on the table, accidentally falling over as she reaches out for any familiarly-shaped object. The man shuffles his papers, disarranges them, shuffles them again, disarranges them again, and begins shuffling them again.

 

"Fine" grumbles the warden, hesitantly taking out an ACCEPTED stamp to place on Hydrobear's prison release papers and then pausing. "Oh, one last question Mr. Hydrobear... what do you know about the man named 'Red?'"

 

Hydrobear's visage loses its confidence and goes pale as the warden holds up a picture of Wyvern in a tattered prison uniform, handing out Almost Dragonic Brand Token Black Market Cigarettes™ and grinning a grin of razor-sharp teeth.

 

;-)

 

OOC: Welcome back, Hydrus! If this is your third time applying to join, then it'll be my third time informing you that a Pen membership is a permanent thing and sticks with you forever. Then again, I really liked this story, so perhaps your re-re-application to the Pen was for the better. ;-) Anyway, as Gyrfalcon noted, you retain your status as an Initiate, though you may have to work off a Weenie title for not participating in the last Pen roll call. Welcome back again, I look forward to reading your stories and roleplaying again.