Sneakiness

[Finnius]

Slink, slink, slink.

 

The moon shines brightly as a little blue form edges around the corner, eyes scanning the immediate surroundings for signs of life and finding none. The form slips quietly through the great courtyard of the Mighty Pen Keep, past the oak tree that he naps in upon occasion, and into the Mighty Assembly Room.

 

Finnius Mustardio Jalopini Canard O'Harpy takes a moment to admire the hodge-podge of wrought iron, solid granite, and twining ivy that characterizes his home of the last two years, and then closes the door behind himself before hurrying across the now-empty hall where talespinners from far and wide ply their trades.

 

Sneak, sneak, sneak.

 

"What took you so long?"

 

The echoing voice of one Elrond Peredhil, Polite Ancient of the Mighty Pen, startles the little blue man almost half his height off the floor... which isn't saying much. He turns towards the stately form of yon Pered, hand clutched to his heart and gasping in surprise, then blinks slowly and draws a package, a small black silk bag tied with crimson string, from within his plain brown robes.

 

"I ran into Wyvern on my way out of the Guildhalls... something about my dues being... er... due. Again. Say, how many times do we have to pay those a year?"

 

Pered raises an eyebrow at the poor, flustered Saint of Haikus, who's been haiku-less for far longer than befits the title; and chuckles under his breath.

 

"The Pen is now, and always has been, a place where there are no dues, only contributions. But I'm sure you're well aware of that, my good Finnius." The pointy-eared Polite-One gestures at the package in Finnius' still-trembling hands. "And that would be the... item?"

 

Finnius nods his assent, halfway thrusting the bundle forward while his eyes dart into the corners of the room desperately.

 

"Thank you for holding onto this for a while, big guy... just, er... remember about that thing we talked about? Y'know, the non-disclosure of packagement transferal?"

 

"Packagement?"

 

"Erm... yeah. Package...ment..."

 

Once again, Pered laughs politely while shaking his head.

 

"I don't think I'll ever quite understand you, Mister O'Harpy, but don't worry... I won't tell anyone I have this."

 

The small bundle leaves Finnius' blue hands, passing into Peredhil's deceptively smooth ones with nothing but a slight popping sound.

 

"Well, then... I, er... guess I'll talk to you tomorrow, then?" The stately half-elf shakes his head with a slight, patient grin.

 

"No, I'm off to visit Delmargada, remember? Told you about it ages ago..."

 

"Delmawhatsa?"

 

"Delmargada. It's another plane, one which until recently was existing in complete peace and quiet. Unexpectedly erupted in a civil war which has swept through countless lives and shows no signs of stopping... I have extended family there, and they've asked me to see if there's not something I can do to help calm the fighting. So I'll be gone for at least a week, likely longer, trying to talk people out of killing each other."

 

"Oh."

 

Pered pats Finnius on the shoulder and winks at him.

 

"Don't worry, you'll get there one day. And I promise, I'll be back in plenty of time."

 

The little blue man nods absently, then quickly scans the darkened corners once more before slinking out of the Mighty Assembly Room and into the dark, cloudless night.

 

***

 

Peredhil chuckled politely as Finnius left, doing his best to remain out of sight, and consequently drawing more attention to himself than if he'd just walked out normally. Ah, the silly things humans did sometimes...

 

A shadow in the north-west corner rippled slightly, emitting a feminine "Oooooooh..." as the form of Yui Temae slipped out of the darkness.

 

"Sneaky dealings in the dead of night, Big P? And with Finnie-kun, to boot!"

 

"Not quite... lovely as ever, Yui-chan." Pered gave a small bow as the huntress entered the room. "He just asked me to take care of something for him for a short while." The Polite Ancient cocked his head to the side quizically. "How long have you been evesdropping?"

 

"Evesdropping? I was just taking a midnight shadow-stroll..."

 

"In the corner of the Assembly Room?"

 

"Erm... Ok, ok, I was evesdropping... but seriously, how was I not supposed to be curious? I mean, with Finnie-kun sneaking around like that, and everything all clandestine and everything? Ooo! Is he all demony again? I bet he's all demony!"

 

"Y'know, I think Salinye might be rubbing off on you a tad too much... but no, like I said, he's just having me watch something for him for a bit."

 

"What's'ee having you keep?"

 

Pered shook his head slowly.

 

"He asked me not to tell. Honestly, I've probably said too much already. Now if you'll excuse me, I really must be going..."

 

"Awwwww... c'mon, Big P... after all, I saved him from Dreamer-smiting, and that's worth like... at least a bajillion secrets."

 

Pered thought this over for a moment, eventually deciding that a tiny peek couldn't hurt anything. He untied the small black silk bag, holding it open just a crack so that Yui could glimpse the item contained within.

 

"Isn't that-"

 

"Yes, it is."

 

"And he-"

 

"Yes, he did."

 

"But why?"

 

"Now that, m'dear Yui, I really can't say."

 

"Awww... pwettypwettypwettypwettypwettypwettypweeeeaase?"

 

"You're starting to sound like Minta on a pixy-stix fit. And in any case, it's a surprise. You'll just have to wait like the rest of us."

 

"Us?"

 

"Well, he only asked me to hold on to it, and said he'd ask for it back eventually. In the meantime, he's setting something up. Didn't tell me what, though..."

 

"Well, schnikies..."

 

"Salinye, Minta, and vintage Finnius... aren't you the little linguistic butterfly?"

 

Yui-chan winked at Pered, slipping back into the shadows.

 

"Something like that, anyway..."

[Finnius]

Silvery, slowly tinkling bells accompanied by the reedy, high-pitched whine of a pipeflute welcomed Elrond Peredhil to the small city of Velis. Well, on second thought... small by the standards of a planeswalker.

 

Velis was actually the largest settlement in all of Delmargada, boasting nearly twenty thousand citizens. The plane had never quite grasped the concept of the metropolis, one of the many reasons which Peredhil attributed to its normal peaceful state. The plane itself was mammoth. One could walk for days without ever seeing another sentient creature if one wanted. There was no shortage of fertile soil, no end to the clear, sparkling waters of Delmargada's many crystal lakes, and precious few dangerous animals.

 

So why a war should erupt here, of all places...

 

"Greatings and well-met, Once and Future Lord of Rivendell!"

 

Glisterderlingas' nasal, squeaking voice cut through the beautiful music like a steam-liner through the thinnest of fogs. Pered winced, then quickly put on his politest smile to face his second half-nephew thrice removed on his grand-uncle's side for the second time in his life.

 

The first had been at the coronation of High Kith-Lord Matrelos de'Larke seven hundred years ago, and Glisterderlingas, or Glister the Blister as he was known in the softly snickering corners of the family, had seen fit to present him with a gift of ceremonial dragon-fertilizer, a very rare and highly-sought-after item in the magical gardening circuits... which Matrelos had never once in his life frequented.

 

Obviously, the new Kith-Lord had taken a gift of dragon-dung rather poorly. It had taken quite a while to regrow Glister's arm.

 

"Please, I wish you wouldn't call me that... honestly, it's embarassing. Just call me Pered."

 

"If you insist, Uncle Pered... anywho, Auntie Beph is waiting back at the house. C'mon."

 

Glisterderlingas turned into the wide streets of Velis, which were lined down the middle with wide-leafed oak trees, motioning for Pered to follow. Pered sadly broke the silence almost immediately... sadly, because it meant that Glister would have to speak again, and loath though he was to admit it, his distant nephew's voice grated rather badly on him.

 

"So tell me what happened here... Bephrinas wasn't exactly clear on how a war, of all things, got started in Delmargada."

 

Glister glanced over his shoulder with a wide grin on his face, which quickly devolved into a reasonable facsimile of a scowl as he related the tale.

 

"Well, it all started about two months ago, near as Autnie Beph figures. That was when the Order of Zaaskul set up shop in the area."

 

"The Order of Zaaskul... I know that name from somewhere..."

 

Glister nodded emphatically and continued on.

 

"They're quite wide-spread Uncle Pered, I'd be surprised if there's more than a handful of planes where they're not around in some form or another. They're an order of priests, heavily into self-denial and strength through suffering, or something like that. Mostly we figured they were just religious nuts, same as the Diatics we got a couple decades ago."

 

"Yes, the Diatics... Bephrinas wrote me about them. Not very well liked most places, if I remember correctly..."

 

"Yeah, apparently they've been persecuted everywhere they go for the last two hundred years or so, hunted like dogs and generally treated like 'em too. Which is surprising, as they're fairly nice people."

 

"Ok, so this Order of Zaaskul moves in... then what?"

 

"Well, remember how I said the Diatics had been hunted everywhere?"

 

"Yes..."

 

"Turns out the Order of Zaaskul is what did the hunting."

 

"Mm...hm..."

 

"So as soon as the Order finds out the Diatics are here, they start in on this holy war, trying to stamp out the Diatics; only the Wise Ministry of Velis gets in the middle and tells 'em to stop. Needless to say, the Order didn't take that too well. They brought in recruits from a few other planes, basically out-muscled the Velian army. So the Ministry tells the Diatics to pack up and move before the Order pinpoints where they're at, gives 'em the roughs of a backwater plane out in the middle of nowhere, y'know... for their own safety..."

 

"Right... for their own safety."

 

"And anyway, once the Order found out that the Ministry helped the Diatics escape, they went a little crazy. Anyone who wouldn't renounce the Ministers and join the Order of Zaaskul got their heads put on pikes. Auntie Beph and a few other family members have been trying to organize a resistance, like back in the old days with... er... whatsisname... Alenden? Elerdor? Illimdane?"

 

"Elendil."

 

"Right, Elendil. Point is, the Delmargadans aren't used to fighting... they don't get that the Order really will kill them... so it's been kind of rough going."

 

"I think I understand."

 

Glister bounced peppily as they came to the estate of Bephrinas Dubois Jerendil, which in happier times had doubled as a museum of Elvish history. Now, the gates remained closed and locked at all times, guarded by two hard-eyed Eldar wrapped in glimmering mail, hands resting lightly on the bright longswords at their waists.

 

The guards rolled the gates aside long enough for Pered and Glister to pass, the pushed them back to their normal positions and took up their posts without ever taking their eyes off the streets.

 

"Has it really gotten so bad that Bephrinas feels the need for armed opposition?"

 

"Oh yes, Uncle Pered... that bad and worse."

 

***

 

The Courtyard of the Mighty Pen milled with various and sundry individuals, going about their daily business. Under the great oak which stood resplendantly in the center, Yui Temae and Salinye Celestialgrace sat chatting and waving at the various passersby.

 

"So you're going to be attending the Halloween party at Custos Manor, right?"

 

"Not sure yet... hey, did Finnius seem strange to you last night? I mean, at the Guild Leaders' meeting..."

 

"Devestating Blueness? Yeah, he seemed a bit distracted... why?"

 

"Well..." Yui looked from side to side conspiratorially, then continued on in a hushed voice. "He's asking Pered to safeguard something for him..."

 

Sal's eyes and ears pricked up, and she leaned in closer.

 

"Really? Why Pered? If he wanted to keep something safe, I should think that he'd ask Ozymandius or Gyrfalcon..."

 

"What? Oh, right... I keep forgetting you don't know this stuff. Actually, Pered's probably got more juice than both of them put together. Not that he'd ever really use it, mind you, but I think... and this is just between you and me, now... I think if he really wanted to, he could give the Dreamer a run for his money."

 

"Pered?! Gentle, polite Pered?"

 

"The very same."

 

"Wow..."

Edited October 1, 2004 by Finnius

[Finnius]

"From the moment the Order got here, I knew there was something wrong."

 

"But Glister said-"

 

"Forget what Glister said, he's an idiot."

 

"Now, Bephrinas, that's not how you should speak of your nephew. He may be a bit... unorthodox, but he's still family."

 

"Oh, please... he's an idiot, and you know it."

 

"Err... Auntie Beph, Uncle Pered... I'm right here, you know."

 

The eyes of the Polite Ancient of the Mighty Pen and one Bephrinas Dubois Jerendil, who until recently counted herself the most powerful and influential being in all of Delmargada turned to Glisterderlingas, a young (for an elf) member of Pered's rather extended family. The 'recently' being until Elrond Peredhil himself arrived at Bephrinas' request.

 

She just wished the guards weren't so awed by him... would it kill them to remember that they were under her employ, not his?

 

"Oh, right... you may leave, Glisterderlingas."

 

The younger elf turned to go, only halting at the lower pitch of his extended uncle's voice.

 

"Stay put, Glister, I want to ask you a few questions after I talk to your Aunt, and I'd rather not have to hunt you down."

 

"Well, I could just wait outside the door..." Pered shook his head and turned back to Bephrinas. Glister shrugged and took a seat on one of the many cushioned chairs pushed back into the corners of his Auntie's reception hall.

 

"Now, Bephrinas... please go on."

 

The normally stunning elven woman sitting on the edge of the raised dais at the end of the hall sighed and rolled her eyes.

 

"Fine. Basically, the Order of Zaaskul isn't absurdly strong, but they are strong enough that they've routed the Velian army, the remains of which are helping me train what few we've recruited to resist the Order. The Order in this area are led by someone you might recognize... Keltin Nidella."

 

"Keltin? Wait just a moment... Is this the same Keltin that you were dating before you met Rhynus?"

 

"Yes, the very same..." Bephrinas bowed her head momentarily at the mention of Rhynus' name... her husband, who'd been lost in the crossing to Delmargada. None of the family had seen him since, and he was all-but considered dead. Bephrinas had never quite given up hope on him, but she was starting to weary of waiting for him to show up.

 

"How did he end up with these Zaaskul people? He always seemed like a nice enough fellow..."

 

"I'd like to know that myself, Lord Peredhil. The point is, the Order has excellent leadership, far better organization, better arms, and much stronger numbers than we do. I hate to say it, but they've got us pinned... you're our last hope."

 

"Tut-tut, Bephrinas... and don't call me Lord, it sounds pompous. Plain old Pered will do, thank you."

 

Bephrinas shifted, popping her elbows out and yawning.

 

"If you say so. I doubt the Order would be cowed by just plain old Pered, though."

 

"Well, I don't exactly intend to cow them..."

 

***

 

"So just what are you planning, Finnius?"

 

"What makes you think he's planning something?"

 

Salinye and Yui-chan sat comfortably under the great oak tree in the Mighty Courtyard, although the amount of people milling about their daily business had lessened drastically.

 

"Well, the fact that he asked me if there were any unused tunnels in the Underground of the AVV, and set up a big tent-like structure in one of them which he won't let any of the other guild leaders into kind of makes me think he's planning something."

 

"Tent-like structure?"

 

"Mmhmm... it's just a big white sheet held up by some of the Confessional's spare stools."

 

"O...k... But still, that's not so weird. I mean, considering some of Zool's antics, or Wyvern's..."

 

"True, but you have to admit, it's kind of out of character for Finn to be so secretive."

 

"Maybe just a bit... you think he's all demony again? I mean, Pered said he wasn't, but still... maybe he just didn't notice?"

 

Salinye looked sidelong at Yui, cocking an eyebrow and grinning.

 

"Y'know, I understand that you weren't exactly around for that, but..." Sal shivered slightly, despite the warm breeze, remembering the look in Finnius' eyes, the overburdened veins bulging visibly, the all-too-easy sneer in his voice. In a strange way, he'd seemed more natural under Exophek's control. Strange and frightening. "I'm fairly sure we'd know if he was demony again."

 

Yui sighed and leaned against the tree, cracking her knuckles over her head.

 

"You're probably right. Well, I guess there's only one thing left to do, then."

 

"What would that be?"

 

"Sneak down there and take a peek while no one's looking."

 

"Thought you'd never ask!"