Psimon Posted January 29, 2004 Report Share Posted January 29, 2004 We stand alone together (Villanelle) - A personal tribute to the men of 101st Airborne, 506th PIR, Easy Company. ************************* We were alone in unity. Though cold and battle-worn, I stood with you and you with me. Through fog and sleet I could not see though heard the cries of men now torn. We were alone in unity, yet pressed to earth so desperately lest we join those for whom we mourned. I stood with you and you with me. My heart was numb as most would be had they but seen the bloody dawn. We were alone in unity, and held to thoughts that set us free and when they ceased their deadly storm I stood with you and you with me. For we had held the line, yes we the battered bastards, battle-worn. We were alone in unity, I stood with you and you with me. © Psimon 28 January 2004 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Psimon Posted January 29, 2004 Author Report Share Posted January 29, 2004 Push on through **************** This veneer, this cold and inanimate mask, this castle wall, this barrier of glass and steel. This falsehood, this facsimile, pale reflection in a limpid pool, there and yet not. The shadow of the real lies beneath, behind, within. It is seen in the corner of your eye, yet when you turn it is gone. A ghost in the twilight hours. Push through this veil and take what you find. Clasp me to your bosom with care, for if you hold too tightly I will surely slip from your desperate grasp. Yes, show love and I will remain for perhaps another season. But all must pass, real or false, the desired and rejected alike. The season turns and I am gone again. Was I ever truly with you? Push on through. © Psimon 15 January 2004 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Psimon Posted January 29, 2004 Author Report Share Posted January 29, 2004 Yearning *********** I gaze longingly at the images. Just pixels on the page but they mean a lot to me. Colour or greyscale, it doesn't matter. Should I be doing this? It may hurt those I love if they knew. But these images are mine. I wanted them and I have them, so here they'll stay. I want it so much. I want to be inside the image. To experience what I can only look upon and long for now - that would be bliss. I have a yearning, a consuming desire. Will I achieve it? I hope so. It breaks my heart to think not. I will wait for now. Bide my time. One day. Yes, one day I'll journey there. © Psimon 15 January 2004 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Psimon Posted January 29, 2004 Author Report Share Posted January 29, 2004 Expectation *************** A sense of dread. The cold fear-stone in the centre of your being. The quickening. A flush to the cheeks. I love your ways. A foot poised. The eyes fixed on green. Bend it to your will. The pacing man. A cry and all is right in the world. © Psimon 15 January 2004 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alaeha Posted January 29, 2004 Report Share Posted January 29, 2004 Yay! Now I'm not the only Villanelle-r here. *Hugs* Glad to see you again. Writing an essay right now, so this is sort of just an "I read this" post (Sorry about that) One suggestion, though: It's generally best not to repeat a specific rhymeword... so if you can think of something else for one of the instances of Battle-worn, that would help it a bit, I think. I loved that poem though. The Battered Bastards is a beautiful phrase - and fun to say. (I found myself in the streets of WW2 France, myself, when I read that) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Psimon Posted January 29, 2004 Author Report Share Posted January 29, 2004 A revised version. - Thx for the tip, Alaeha We stand alone together ( Villanelle ) - A personal tribute to the men of 101st Airborne, 506th PIR, Easy Company. ************************* We were alone in unity. Though cold and weary, scorned, I stood with you and you with me. Through fog and sleet I could not see though heard the cries of men now torn. We were alone in unity, still pressed to earth so desperately lest we join those for whom we mourned. I stood with you and you with me. My heart was numb as most would be had they but seen the bloody dawn. We were alone in unity, and held to thoughts that set us free till, when they ceased their deadly storm, I stood with you and you with me. For we had held the line, yes we the battered bastards, battle-worn. We were alone in unity, I stood with you and you with me. © Psimon 28 January 2004 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wyvern Posted February 1, 2004 Report Share Posted February 1, 2004 A great set of poems, Psimon, thanks for sharing them. Here are my thoughts on the four of them: "We Stand Alone Together" - This is my favorite of the four poems presented here, as I think that it's a very heartfelt tribute to the 101rst Airborne. I particularly liked the paradox of standing "alone in unity," as well as the cyclical repitition of the last lines of the stanzas throughout the poem. The manner in which both repeated lines are unified in the final stanza is also very well done, and it accentuates the theme of unity very nicely. "Push on Through" - I really liked the imagery in this poem, as it was very vivid and descriptive. The repitition of "this" throughout the first stanza was also very well done, as was the contrast between reality and falseness. One thing that I didn't particularly like was the introduction of the first person in the third stanza, as though it personalized the poem, I also thought that it made it seem a bit pretentious. The use of "yes" in the last line of the third stanza, as well as the narrator's questioning himself in the final stanza, also added to the slightly pretentious tone of the final two stanzas for me. "Yearning" - I very much enjoyed this poem, and could certainly relate to the theme of longing that rests at it's base. The first stanza was my favorite, and the poem was direct and to the point for the most part. Though it's an easy work to relate to, perhaps you could draw the reader in more if you incorporated more imagery and action in order to relate the narrators desires rather than telling them. "Expectation" - Once again, the imagery of the poem was striking and vivid, and the pace was also very well done. I didn't pick up on the meaning behind some of the images, however, particularly those of the last two lines. There's a suggestion that they might have to do with expectation, but you may want to expand upon the piece a bit in order to make them more significant. I enjoyed these as a whole, and it's excellent to see you writing again Psimon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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