Alaeha Posted September 24, 2003 Report Share Posted September 24, 2003 I'm liking this... It has something of a webcomic feel to it. Perhaps that's because it's still in development, though. It doesn't seem to have any "showing", but only "telling"... which contributes to the aforementioned webcomic feel. It's a fun read... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wyvern Posted September 29, 2003 Report Share Posted September 29, 2003 I'm also enjoying this so far and am looking forward to seeing how it developes, Valdar. I particularly like the nonchalant and comic tone you use to describe mass destruction, it definitely adds to the comedy of the piece. In terms of possible improvements: like Alaeha pointed out, apart from the scene where Wyvern makes the money deal, there has been a lot of "telling" and not too much "showing." I would suggest adding in more scenes in which characters interact and action happens and less descriptions of things that have already happened. Can't wait for the continuation! I'm honored that Wyvern got a part in selling out Terra, by the way, and am doubly honored that he got 50 geld pieces for it! Yessssss... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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