sea vegetable

Wow, thanks Cerulean. I dont post that much because it doesnt seem to get much feedback when i do, and that being the point here for me. I would try not to post in CAPS, but its easier to find when i scroll thru the room! Appreciate the comments, really. Metaphor may b overdone, its just the region of this work is an escape from the reality that insipred it. Therefore metaphors. Stil, point taken, ill b aware not to write as many lines in metaphor like sand grains on the beach, lol. SV

RIFT Days passed with the sweet promise of forever And I sheltered in your limbs Underneath the cover of a black rainbow There, a dark future foreboding While we were cultivating time Through old storms I steered us Without a map Sextant fixed on our new heavenly planet But wind blew my intentions Into clouds you could not grasp And your judgment like lightning Raining down on our smoldering garden Hard months of toil Scorched in one day I left alone, my plow in splinters Looking from your guilty tower Rifts were created Where fertile soil once lay But the faults only formed On the cover of your closed eyes

Reaching out and open, I close my eyes to stifle the sense. I’m asking the night breeze for any scent of you. And up for offer, countless potions of earth and forest wines, Aromas of automotive oil and pavement, revived by a fresh city rain. Yet mixing in with the sadness of stale, lonely breaths, the most pungent my own, You escape me. Leaning in to the black of my memory, my nostrils flared for that herbal health, The sweet inhalation of passion and warmth on the nape of your neck. I wander, headlong, between the fine black hairs on your scalp Fresh with the perspiration of your joy, And faintly diluted hibiscus flowers. But in those rotting memories my probing still fails To breathe you in. From this cup, a fresh jasmine mist sways upwards Clutching for origins in the distant East. My palate disintegrates with the same effervescent futility Even for this drooping hound, a faint whiff cannot be caught in the stillness. I cradle a fleeting sense, in my hands the porcelain heat, As my nose grows cold. Familiar aerosols are biting into the back of my throat Deceptively alluding to meadows, but conjuring only suburban toilets. Outside, stagnant winter airs of chilled concrete and exhaust silence harakeke bushes. And giving up the struggle to remember any olfactory impression, I resign, exhaling a solitary gust over and behind my shoulder Sailing you further ahead of me. Just trying something here , please comment heaps.... seavegetable [imagine a really cool avatar picture here...pretty mean aye?!]

Yep. This is familiar. Its a more straight forward version of SEA SAW that i just posted. All those up and down left and right emotions and questions. I'd just say that the freestyle worked for me until there was a bit of rhymy-timey at the end. Maybe u didn't mean to, but if the reader is left with the last few lines to permiate, there is a rhyme there...that pattern doesn't seem to fit the rest of the piece. More importantly, good luck with maintaining the COURAGE pursuing the concept of UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. People so need to work on that (myself included).

Great comments, overall Thanx Wyvern. I took little time on this really. I initially had "every height a beautiful VIEW" but just like u mentioned i was trying to avoid the poetic cliche. Often to see something hidden is a reveal (n.) as far as i know which isnt too far! I'll go bak and see if i can find something less cliched for the other bits u mentioned, but im talking about the very grandiose highs and lows of LOVE. In a way i figured it needed to be slightly familiar. Im glad that the simplicity and lack of excessive stanza is appealing rather than seen as a cowardly retreat. At some point if i feel there's a need for more...ill write it. Thanks again!

Barely afloat in the raft Swell after swell Imprinting a rhythm The sea saws Through the heart of hope. Every height a beautiful reveal, Followed by the dark despair. A change of mind Rotting through the trust In paradise.

E hoa, nga mihi atu ki a koe e hine toa. just thought id get back here and what do you know?! I like this heaps. There are some rough bits, including the ending. Writing 4u has never been a mission. What you put to paper is way more beautiful than a mundane task, order, or "mission" that needs to be "accomplished". Take its beauty back and make more...

An excellent point. Im no scholar, so appreciate the comment. Will have a correction up soon......sea veg

Thank you for the warm welcome. The subtitle is simply a formal greeting in Maori from Aotearoa (New Zealand). You have worked hard to translate, and done well. The language is not always literal and is filled with poetry and imagery. Words are not what they seem, and often change without changing. Its a stunning language filled with Mana (strength). He pou kotahi, A first post (like a pillar of something bigger) nga mihi atu ki a koutou. Greetings to you all. ahakoa he iti, toku whatumanawa konei. Although small, here is the centre of my heart. Hope that clears things up. I will try to include translations when i post with Te Reo Maori (Maori Language). Thank you.

WASH There she stood bathing Through the toitoi I watched She painted herself To clean the dark corners. An invitation- Noticing, too, I was filthy She cleansed me in kohowai And we were covered together In the earth again.

TRUCE Pulling you Into me We Curved like shells Sleep Forgive now The arrowed words My purple rage The morning silences Us With one raw kiss.

A MEETING In an ocean of night Dreaming ever long Journeys with the whale Song of a soul Searching for the day Light upon dark Alleyways of my heart Beat by the rain Water like a sheet Music on corrugated Iron strength melted Wax & wane the moon Shadow I hid behind Closed doors open Hearts to windows of hope. Meetings can be truly inspirational....i recommend everyone meets more

BREATHER In between gusts, A Breath The wind inhales Sucking me in. I swirl out in patterns Never seen Raging free And screaming at ears. If i write too much, its lost. So say your worst if u like. I can take it, and if not, ill blow away....