Oldfox

Nice writing! I like the theme. It's original. Specially love the ending where you elegantly give the ending "between the lines". Smart move to use the "outsider" as your protaganist. I would maybe rely a little less on the narrator and tell more thrugh his actions, the part with the basketball game is really nice. Maybe use it more? Well done. Keep it up! The Oldfox

Here's a really short poem that i wrote during a late night of drinking... Avalanche I guess I didn't know that you were an avalanche, when I stepped into you. Muffled sounds of destruction as you covered me up until I couldnt move. And it felt good, not freezing to death. but to slowly suffocate. from you

Thanks for all the encouragement! I am truly honoured to be a part of your noble guild. "keeping my dwarf tranquillisers handy..."

After careful consideration I decided to dare to ask membership of your noble guild. This is a little snippet originally ment to be part of a bigger short story, but I found that it didnt fit anywhere. After looking it over I thought that it was really a sort of story in itself. Sorry for the language, I am not a native english speaker. Jazz -Play for me. Laying on your bed I caught a glimpse of something forgotten, your old brass instrument, now semi-faded from extensive use. -No -play for me, please? -No. -Play for me and I wont leave you again. Silence. Then you took the old instrument from its resting place in the corner and put it to your mouth. after what seemed like forever, the music. At first with discipline, ordered and uptight, but gradually shifting over to your own music, so free and full of you. Floating through the air between us, almost a sentient being in itself. I fell back on the bed, started to feel how the rhythm of my own heartbeat began to coincide with the rythm of the music. Suddenly the music started to enter my bloodstream through my fingertips and moving towards my brain in a rhythmic pace. It started hitting me, with intoxicating pulsating streams. And for a fraction of a minute, you took my fear away. I guess it must have been just before my eyes were closed that I saw you. You had turned away from me, but in the reflection from the brass I noticed a tear running down your left cheek. Then the music started to fade away, it felt like it came to a destination of some sort. The instrument fell down from your face. Still not looking at me. -you should play jazz, I said. -go to hell, you answered.