Elvina

Expensive

Grimacing greviously, galavanting giants go grudgingly, gripping graphically garish gowns.

 

 

(Also grimacing greviously is me. I can't believe I completely missed the little fact that X and Y had not yet been done... Sorry about that...)

Zealously zany zooming zebras zipped zappily, zonking zoology zodiacs.

 

 

*pats self on the back*

 

Jovial jumbucks jump, judiciously joining ju-jitsu jives jangling jazz.

Hairy humans horrendously heckle horizontal hampsters harbouring horrible humours.

 

(Well, that's how the poor things walk, of course they're going to be narky if someone heckled them...)

 

Elvina

Happy Birthday!

 

Elvina

Well, NaNo is over for me, and I've finished it smashingly. Anyone else celebrating?

 

Elvina

That's a bummer, Katzaniel.

 

I'm at about 38,000 right now. I have to write about 2,300 words a day for the next five days and I'll make it. The bad thing about this is that I can't seem to write until about 11:30 at night. Maybe because there are no TV shows on for me to use as excuses to procrastinate. I end up staying up until around 4am just to finish because I don't start writing until it's so late. I wish I could just zap the story from my head into the computer. Bah, ah well.

 

Anyone else still hanging in there?

 

Elvina

 

Thanks, Sweetcherrie. That was helpful. I think any RPG could be considered co-written, simply because of their nature. I think I might get annoyed if I participated in an RPG that wasn't very well thought out. I did participate in one for a little while before the GM had to quit with was a comedic thread, where nothing was terribly serious and there had to be an orange in every scene... that was hilarious and fun to write and basically had no rules (except for that fruit thing). We did have a basic, far-off goal, but it was very relaxed so that we could just have fun with it. I'm not sure how that would work for a more serious fantasy or sci-fi thread, though.

 

Come to think of it, has anyone here done any sci-fi RP writing?

Ah, thanks, Tanuchan. I thought the link was just old or something.

 

I've had some experience with strict control in both tabletop RPG and live-action roleplaying games and my opinnion is that it shifts the responsibility for the quality of the game more towards the GM. If you have an excellent story to tell and you are confident in it, tightening the leash of the players can result in a better roleplaying experience for all involved. Great players will be great even with the tighter confines and nevertheless create rich stories with their characters, slightly less great players have their job made easier, they'll have more direction and clearer goals and thus the quality of their participation can get better. The price is not getting surprised by the player actions as much, more work and heavier personal responsibility for the GM. I'm sure these lessons I've learned can be applied to written roleplaying as well.

Yeah, that's exactly what I mean - good players can still be good and write richly, while newer players will have a clearer idea on what to write if they have none. As for surprise, I'd have to ask my players, but I really htink they are fairly surprised a lot of the time, because I only work with each of them personally when they get their ring. They're the only ones who know what it does, so when the others find out, it's a surprise. That's what I meant by not simply shoving all the info into the OOC... "Right people, now such-and-such is going to get the next ring. The riddle will be 'blah', and the first part of that means 'blah'." Boring. They actual ringbearer is the only one I actually tell, then everyone else finds it out in that person's post.

 

When I first started my thread I had to cajole each player into supplying a reason their characters had chosen to come on the Elirian Quest. Someone said I was being controlling, but I don't think so at all. To me, that's kind of a vital question, lol. As the story moved on, I believe that clarity has helped the players in thinking up their own subplots and finding opportunities for character-development. I wonder where the point is when a GM is too controlling, and when the confines are healthy for the story. I can't imagine playing in a game where anyone can do simply anything and whisk everyone off somewhere for any reason... I've never seen that happen, but from some of the stories I hear...

 

For those of you who've actually played such a game - what is a 'freer' RPG like? Do you like it better when your GM obviously puts a lot of thought and planning into a game and keeps it on track but still gives you plenty of room to work within those confines... or do you prefer to just get an overall idea of what they story's about and pretty much wing it with very few confines?

 

From a purely literarily-challenging POV, does it force you to put more thought into your posts and character development etc. when there are tighter confines?

 

Lol, sorry for all the questions. I'm just trying to know more about this sort of thing from people who have more experience with interactive writing than me. :blush:

 

Elvina

Ermm, that link doesn't seem to be working...

 

I've only GMed two Interactive Writing stories (RPGs), but I've used the turn-bases system for both. After my first foray into the world of GMing, I learned that in order to make the story easier for everyone to just flow with, I had to make my objectives very clear to the players (this is for my RPT called the Elirian Quest - link in sig). This I do by using a few different means, the first of which are chapter outlines. These have a permanent place in my first OOC Intro post for easy access by the players. They include quick snippets that must happen in that chapter, so that players can still write whatever the want as long as they include, say, that an artefact they're looking for won't be found where they expect it. That and some healthy OOC posting seems to have made my current RPT work without too many hitches, though I am fairly new at this, so I understand some of you might find these methods weird.

 

The other thing - and I think this is really the main one - is behind the scenes work with the seperate players. For instance, in my RPT, the players each find a ring at some stage. With the ring comes a riddle. Basically, I decide who gets the ring, then PM the player with the information they need about the ring, like what it does, as well as the riddle that comes with it. The player then gets the choice of when to show the others what the ring can do, since that player is the only one that part of the riddle is explained to. This way I'm not the only one giving out information when I post. Everyone (well, all the main character players) can be involved, and they can all contribute something different. Most of the players don't see any of the behind the scenes stuff, and so all they get is all this great info in everyone else's posts that have really good continuity with the storyline and are written very well. Then they get the same chance as well and feel like they're really part of something bigger... Well, at least I hope they do.

 

I worry about being too controlling, though my players have only good things to say about my thread. I find I have to controlling to an extent to keep the story rolling and the plot developing, as players sometimes flag and don't post for a while, etc. I'm not sure if my methods are all that different from anything already mentioned here, but I thought I'd include this here, just in case I'd been original, lol. Do any of you do this or think these are good ways to RP?

 

I hope reviving dead threads isn't too frowned upon in here, but I would honestly value the discussion, since I don't really get it elsewhere. There seem to be a good number of RP writers in here - share your wisdom with me, please!

 

Elvina

I did NaNo last year and won. Doing it again this year was a given.

 

I'm quite far behind right now, unfortunately: I'm only about 6,000 words into it at day six. I have to write at least 4,000 words tonight at the very minimum - 6,000 to get me to where I'd like to be.

 

NaNo is just awesome! It challenges you as a writer and pushes you to find out what you're really made of, and get a 50,000 word novel out of it in the process!

 

Elvina

I have no idea what this whole 'weenie' thing is, or what all this is about.

 

*drifts about confusedly...*

 

Ah, I see. Then feel free to move this thread to wherever it should be, and thanks for letting me know.

Pertaining to your question about the lack of critiques and responses to this piece: I think the general lack of response may have to do with this prologue being archived here from another board where a longer version is available, as priority is normally given to works posted on the Pen. Threads and stories from other boards are commonly archived in the Library forum of the site, where I can move this thread if you'd like. Also, as I mentioned, it can be difficult to respond to a story knowing only its prologue, and I'm certain that many writers here have been waiting for more of the story before replying.

Thank you for your feedback, Wyvern - it's greatly appreciated. I guess I understand what you mean, but I posted this here because I was interested in getting reviews from some of the great writers on this site, not to 'archive' this... not sure what that means, exactly... I'm not sure why it makes a difference that this is posted elsewhere, except that I could use all the help I can get. This site seems to be a different sort of writer's website than I'm used to. Are people supposed to post their stuff and get feedback, or does it work differently here? Sorry to be a bother.

Up against a brick wall.

 

 

 

btw - 'Stick to one's guns' means to not back down from something one has said, or a point one has made, in light of opposition.

 

Maybe we should all include the meanings of these idioms as well... before we all get really confused.

Wow, no replies or critiques in all this time... I guess this isn't so much a site for getting feedback, then, huh?

 

Well, this is just a post to let anyone who cares know that I've changed the title of this story since I started this topic, and I've also tinkered with a few other things. I can't change the topic title, however, so it still reads as the old title.

 

Anyway... let me know if you enjoyed this teeny little part of what has since become almost a 30,000 word draft.

No comments or feedback, anyone?

Thank you so much for replying, Thinas. I don't actually have anything written in danish that I would want feedback with - I'm not that good, believe me. Thanks for the offer, though.

 

That's so funny about the potato in the throat thing. I hear that all the time. My danish teacher actually introduced us to the written language first so that we wouldn't be intimidated by the spoken language. I've heard danish spoken since I was a kid, though, so it wasn't intimidating to me at all. I think it's a kewl language, not to mention it's like learning three languages in one - Danish, Norweigen, and (slowly spoken) Swedish!

 

I don't usually spend much time on here, but if I need some danish practice, I'll be sure to head over to this thread or give you a PM. Thanks again, Thinas!

 

Nej, nej, jeg kende dansk, norsk og svensk er lignende. Jeg bare håbet der var hvem som helst jeg kan øvelse min dansk med.

 

Undskyld for min dårlig dansk, men jeg bare lærer.

 

Tak for dit svarer.

 

Elvina

Wow, I understood that just barely. Swedish is similar, but as I said, I'm only learning danish, so reading the swedish looks odd and is harder for me to understand, though I get the gist of it.

 

I didn't know they used the letter "å" in swedish, I thought only the danes did. Strangely, swedish looks more german.

 

Anyway, thanks for replying. However, I think I should try not to confuse myself with what's swedish and what's danish at this point in time.

 

Elvina

Dav!

 

Jeg lærer dansk på universitet, og jeg vil gerne at kende som nogen forstår mig, og vil du gerne snakker med mig i dansk?

 

Elvina

Certainly controversial... Not my cup of tea, nor a lot of people's, I'd wager. :erm:

Hi all. For reasons such as publishing and First Rights, I've just removed my prologue from this board. That's not to say I don't like it here or anything - it's just a personal choice.

 

Thanks to those of you who have responded to this. :tu:

 

Elvina

Many people do think that by having sex, they will find love. However, this is simply an error in a person's understanding of causality. Sex is the effect, not the cause. People don't fall in love because they have sex, they have sex because they fall in love. Many loveless people have rampant amounts of sex hoping it will lead them to success, but they are clearly mistaken.

 

Sex is the manifestation of 'love'. It's a biological process designed to keep the human race alive.

Why are people willing to sacrifice for others? Kin selection. I personally believe that altruism inherently denies human worth, but that's a different topic.

 

Love is the feeling that people get when they are willing to go to lengths for the benefit of others, without the possibility of tangible gain.

No I disagree. Sex is not the effect of love. One can easily have sex without 'feeling' love for a person. Whether it is rape, or any kind of sex with a consenting stranger for the sake of 'comfort' or whatever, one definitely does not need to 'feel' love of any kind for or with a person one has sex with.

 

Sex is not a manifestation of love. Should paedophilia be accepted because the perpetrator 'loved' their victim? Of course not. Nor is it a manifestation of love between two consenting adults. Sex is simply a physical act, a pleasurable one no doubt, but simply physical and not dependant on 'feelings'. The plan God had for sex was for it to be a pleasurable thing, a joyful way to create children, solely within the context of marriage, for reasons of committed security and agreement between the married couple for their sake and for the sake of any children.

 

Real love, the kind that would cause someone to give his or her life for another, is definitely NOT a feeling. Yes, you read correctly, NOT a feeling. Real love, agape love, is a commitment, an action, and an enactment of conviction. That's what marriage is supposed to be. The vows are an enactment of the conviction of the couple that they will act in love (not feel love) toward their spouse for the rest of their lives. Any couple that has been married long enough will tell you that the 'feeling' of love will come and go. It's the commitment of acting in agape love towards their spouse that cements the relationship and forms a base that will not be moved, no matter what the 'feelings' for the moment are - that's what marriage is supposed to be. Communication and sorting out problems must also be dealt with by spouses. Once the original 'feelings' of love that motivated a couple to make such a commitment are gone, the commitment of love that they made forms the basis for a deeper, longer lasting, 'feeling' of love that can only come through experience and commitment.

 

In the world, the spiel has been 'if it feels, good do it', but you can feel one hundred and one ways about the same thing in one day. Feelings swish and blow like the wind, always changing, never solid enough to form a base for anything concrete. Real love is doing what is right, regardless of how it feels. Do you think in a war that soldiers aren't scared of being shot or killed? Of course they would be! Yet some will still go back into the battle fray to haul off a wounded friend or comrade. Do they have time to feel all mushy and lovey dovey while bullets are ripping past them? Of course not. They don't have time to rustle up some feelings for this person or that person, they simply go out and do their duty as a soldier. Why? Because for some reason, they had committed to the military that they would serve as soldiers. That commitment stands in their minds, not so much conscious thought, but as an unmoving fact at the back of their minds. Real love is a commitment, because real love can only be expressed through commitment, whether to a person, a deity, or a cause, or an ideal.

 

I'm not saying that feelings of love are obsolete, I'm saying that ultimately they have no staying power. Couples in this world get together and break up and get together and break up again, and why? Plenty would easily say "I just don't love him/her anymore". God commands the marriage commitment first and sex later because the commitment provides security for both people. It is saying "I will choose to act in love towards you, which is putting your needs before mine, even when I no longer have feelings of love for you".

 

Real and true love is putting someone or something else before your own wants and desires, because you choose to, not because you 'feel' like it. Love is an action, and a choice. Always a choice.

 

Elvina