Along with the rest of the line, an ancient crone in a dark red cloak shuffles slowly toward Melba. A cloud of dust emanates from her with every movement. As she reaches the gatekeeper she throws back her hood revealing the most garish bright red plastic sunglasses, encrusted with ruby colored rhinestones. Melba looks at her list and then looks up apologetically at the old woman. "I'm afraid I don't have you on my list, Dame Edna."
"WHO?" gasped the crone, followed by much grumbling and rummaging around within the cloak, producing more clouds of dust, as well as one of the posters glued to a (now empty, of course) hershey bar wrapper. A message is scribbled on the back in an almost dragonic scrawl, "Dearest Wench I would be delighted..."
Melba checks her list again and mumbles "Oh yes, there it is - Wench". Adding in a wry tone, "Well then, I see you have the suggested sunglasses... birthday gift please?"
A scroll and a small wooden box are produced. Melba unfurls the scroll and reads-
Monitor warmth, flop.
Oh look, the reset button!
Why is SHE growling?
Melba re-rolls the scroll, looks critically at Wench, and then tucks it into the gift bin with the others, without comment.
"Hey, he did the best he could. How many cats do you know that are literary giants? He only has 4 toes on each foot. You should have seen him just trying to work out the syllables. I brought something else to make up for it anyway."
Melba harrumphs and then examines the tiny box on the old woman's outstretched palm. It is intricately carved, and the lid is detailed with a pair of lustrous wings of burnished gold with a heart between them. Melba looks up warily, "It's pretty, but awfully small. What is it?"
Wench replies "It has been many years since the Ångels of Åpocalypse have been graced with the presence of Tzim, Minta or Rydia. In keeping with the occasion, this contains magic crystals, each of which will convey our feelings of affection and fondness to her, whenever she feels the need for a boost."
With that, the box lid slowly rose, releasing 24 blindingly bright, snowflake-like crystals, each more radiant than the brightest sun. The crystals floated slowly upward forming a heart. Melba and several of those nearby waiting in the que all shrieked and covered their eyes from the burning glare. The Wench grinned as the crystals made a new formation, 4 quincunxs with the extra 4 forming the points of a square at the outside corners.
Wench nodded at the array, her neck creaking audibly with the gesture. The crystals quickly dropped back into the box. She snapped the lid closed and glanced at Melba, who was still furiously rubbing her eyes with both fists. "My dear, perhaps you should have worn sunglasses as the invitation suggested." Then she "tsked tsked" several times, as only an old biddy can.
The crone shuffled past Melba and peered into the gift bin. She carefully set the carved gift down into the bin, then straightened slowly resulting in more creaks and pops. She again searched through her cloak and ferreted out a collection of boxers and briefs, bearing emblems of a Grinch, a regel crown, a Klingon, a china cat sunflower, a mirthful smile, as well as numerous others... followed by a baldric, and finally, several dozen pixy sticks. Cackling, she dumped all into the gift bin. Shaking her head, she muttered something about "herding cats" and that "they may all show up sooner or later anyway".
Shuffling slowly off toward the festivities, leaving a trail of dust in her wake, she mumbles to herself, "Now then, where is the best spot to glimpse the guest of honor, it has been such a very long time."
