Regel

A very interesting style of poem. I quite enjoyed it but I am not sure if I can explain why, but I'll try. I suppose the symmetry of the first word of the line being repeated as the last word of the same sentence tickled my curiosity and yet sounded very pleasing. It rang so true until the very last line of the poem "lover you forever, you I always love".

It sounds and looks like a keystroke error. So in my mind it reads "love you forever, you I'll always love"

There is a silent roar inside my head

Stronger than you might realize

More fragile than you could imagine.

A heart beats; a chest raises

Blood rushes mixing with air.

Ideas form collide coalesce

inside my walls shake, and floors tremble.

Electrical discharges releasing chemicals

moving now at the speed of thought

Experiences both new and old

reviewed renamed resolved

then categorized, filed and forgotten.

All this occurring in a yawn and a blank moment.

Please note gentle readers that this poem does not express my thoughts nor feelings but was inspired by a visit to a broken hearted old man I love.

Darkness has me in its hold,

I can't believe a thing I'm told

Seems pointless to carry on,

After all my love is gone.

It's not right I say

That I have to carry on this way

I hurt in places I can't reach

Staring at walls I can not breach

This place was once my home

My hearts desire is to roam

To places I might like to see

If only my thoughts would let me be.

I worry, I fret, I stew,

But sleep is all I seem to do.

And wait for another day to pass

I hope tomorrow is my last.

Ah.... you got to love a free society. Parmenion your writing is as always top drawer but it surprises me that without exception no one has expressed a problem with the contents itself. Of the ninety plus people that have viewed this only five have comments and even though it is controversial not a single person said hey I disagree.

Perspective is what is expressed in this work. The title itself "There is no God?" is a question. I doubt anyone could answer that with certainty until after they die but there are those of us that do believe there is a God even if we don't understand the full nature of that concept.

Mankind is the most arrogant species on earth, I can't argue with that because it is true. Not only are we self aware, we are also largely self absorbed. We disagree with specific details of organized religion but when we look at the complex world and universe around us we wonder how we came to be.

If the subject matter serves to challenge someones belief structure so be it for I have been a believer, a non believer, an agnostic and then a believer again. It is a journey we all travel during the course of our lives.

There in the first stanza is a line "No guiding hand to save you when you fall." I laughed as I read it for in my life I have fallen from heights that have killed others and I survived. Not once nor twice but on four separate occasions (from heights of over 16 feet or more) Yes I had sustained injuries but I lived! Guardian Angels or dumb luck it is still perspective.

"On the prisons they have built around your mind,

To keep you in the dark, to keep you blind."

The prisons we build and they had nothing to do with it.

Peace.

Thank you for the birthday greetings Wyvern. I have brought you a present for being so thoughtful. Regel drags out a brightly wrapped box with a big red bow on it. The over grown lizard was both surprised and some what suspicious but his curiosity finally got to him. "For me? Ah... Regel... you shouldn't have." Wyvern said with a toothy grin.

"Go ahead and open it Wyvern!" the smile on Regel's face was as wide as Wyvern's.

Deftly using his razor sharp claws Wyvern sliced open the box quickly and reached inside. "What's this, oh my goodness, it the Acme upgrade-to-a-Dragon Kit!! How did you know Regel? It comes with a flame thrower, Dragon Scale Armour, and Wing enhancements!!! Thank you, thank you, Thank you!

There were a lot of strange happenings on this journey. The incident with the skunk seemed days ago, as did the wedding.

The crossing was largely uneventful, if not for the newness of the experience I would have said some what boring. Domenic slept and I was alone on a ship full of strangers. The engines droned and the sights and smells of the big lake kept my interest for the two hours and then it came time to disembark.

"I have a surprise waiting for us in Espinola." Domenic said with his eyes still closed.

"Yah. what?" I answered.

"You'll see, just get us to Espinola and wake me up when we get close." was all he said.

We had arrived at Tobermory. Sitting there in line Domenic had parked and turned off the engine. My window was still open and I could smell the water. The smell was an interesting mix of water, fish and commerce. The cry of a single Seagull and the absence of motion started to rouse me, but suddenly the sun peaked over in the east and the warmth of its rays caressed my face. Sunlight bounced of the surface of the rippled water and glittered in a way I had never seen before. The gull that sang his sad song was on a post not ten feet from me in a direct line to the water. I marveled at how good I felt and how beautiful a morning God had created on this first morning of our trip. "What a glorious morning" I said as I stretched and yawned "and man am I hungry."

My cousin face looked drawn and heavy from the road. In a very Stephen Wright tone he simply said "Of course, your stoned."

I laughed and so did he. "Give me a piece of that cake before you mow down the rest." I handed him the pan and got out to stretch my legs. The Chi-Cheemaun was already docked and the line of vehicles it would carry to Espinola was forming. We had arrived early enough to be first in line. Northern Ontario was beautiful but this ferry ride would shave a day of travel. A lot of twisting and turning road that would rise and fall through the parts engineers had blasted through Canadian Shield. Besides I had always loved boats and this one was a beauty. The largest I had ever been on. Domenic was wiping the crumbs off his face as he got out of the car. "The Big Canoe" was in it's first full year of service. It had the capacity to carry over 600 passengers and 143 vehicles. Domenic finally spoke "My Dad was right, it's a good thing we got here early or we would have been waiting for it to get back." That would have been a 4 hour delay. " When we get to Espinola I'll drive but for right now I am going to go crash on the boat for two hours."

Don had taken the first shift driving. The drive to Tobermory would be completed in the dark. It was Domenic's new Fiat we were driving and like the boy in the park with the ball and the ball it was his rules. So I had decided to try and catch a few hours sleep before we arrived. We would get there around 6am but the ferry would not leave for Espinola until 8:00am. Don had baked a Betty Crocker chocolate cake mix with a quarter pound of marijuana powder in it. The idea was to have a small piece and get high to pass the long stretches of boredom. It was 2:30 in the morning and I couldn't sleep. I was too excited so we both had a couple of puffs off a joint and the monotony of the broken white line in the pitch black country side was getting to me. "Can I have a piece of that cake?" Dom half sneered and half smiled " Sure but better make it a small piece. It has a lot of shit in it."

'Chocolate cake is chocolate cake' I thought, and for me a small piece of an 8"x8" pan was a piece just under 4"x4". I ate it and man it was good. "You pig!" cursed my cousin and then he laughed. The tunes had softened and I soon fell asleep.

It might have been minutes or it might have hours later, I wasn't sure but I knew the sound of tires on loose gravel. I woke up in a panic from a deep sleep and shouted "What the fuck! Don are you alright!"

I was bracing for an impact and then I heard a thump and then a familiar pungent smell. Domenic had tried to dodge a skunk unfortunately the skunks own attempts put him under the front tire. We had to drive the rest of the night with the windows down. After my heart had left my throat I fell back asleep.

I do indeed ally!

The reset has begun. Our guild page is in the process of going up. Our theme for this reset is Rock Bands. Pick your favourite group (no wham, or Abba's please I did say rock band) and come and join us on mirc Galaxynet #aoabbq. If Tzimfemme can find us so could you Orlan!!

Greetings and salutations!

I decided to put on my recruiter hat and come asking old friends to come back to the game were we first met. Back then it was called Archmage, today it is the same game (with a few changes) but it is called The Reincarnation. I know some of you have been playing already and may have allegiances to other guilds. So this appeal is to those of you ex-AoAers that are currently retired. Please pay us a visit, our new forum can be found here: http://aoa.guilds.dk/forum/index.php?sid=7...05fa176d313bfa4

We are calling it the reunion tour! Ok I admit it is a bit cheesy but we really need the experienced AM player. Without naming names if all the former Angels were to answer the call we would gain at least six Angels (Peredhill,Wyvern,Orlan,Signe, Tzimfemme, Joat116) but there are also others in this community that are experienced players that I would welcome into AoA in a heart beat. Please give it some thought and come pay us a visit, even if your intention is not to play we would love to see and hear your names again. If I have left some names off my list I cite my advance age and feeble mindedness. Hope tp see you so the next reset starts Wednesday June 13th.

Forgive me for asking but do you guys really eat this stuff???

The day had finally arrived. The bags were pack and our plans were made. We would leave from London shortly after 1:30 am and drive due north to Tobermory. We would wait for the six o'clock ferry and then cross over to Espinola. The Trans Canada highway (aka Hwy #1) is a magnificent piece of road that would take us across Canada to Vancouver were we move veer south and cross into the US. I couldn't wait for the journey to start.

My italian born cousin of the same name was getting married that day to a girl named Anna. I had known Anna and many of her friends for years. Actually for a lot longer than my cousin did. I liked her. She was cute and had always found me very funny, perhaps too funny. Our relationship developed only into friendship. I believe I was, simply put, too goofy for her. She used to say I reminded her of Jerry Lewis. "Oh Lady!" I would say to her with my best nutty professor voice and a pair of borrowed glasses. She would howl with laughter but there was no spark there for me either. When my cousin dropped into my highschool in grade 13 that was quite a different story. They met and quickly became inseparable. The classic Italian wedding is what we were having that day. Vows and service in a Catholic Church followed by an open bar, shots in the greeting line and more food then anyone could consume. We had a blast. The speeches were far too long or I was far too hammered. Really not sure which one it was but it could have been both. We danced with pretty girls, fat girls, old aunts, male cousins, uncles and both my mom and my dad. The evening was memorable but finally around ten to one we decided to sober up and start saying our goodbyes.

We changed quickly in to our jeans and gave my suit to my mom and kissed them goodbye. My dad slipped me an extra hundred dollars on the way out and whispered "..keep that in your shoe." I didn't bother to ask I already knew why, instead I just beamed a huge smile at them and waved goodbye. "See you in a few weeks!" I said and like the midnight buffet we were soon ....gone.

This demanding stuff just never was my style. Even if I felt I was right and justified in just telling them I was going on holiday it just didn't work that way. My relationship with both my parents had always been good. Perhaps if it had not been it might have been easier to just pick up and leave. I couldn't do that so in the end of our exchange I felt extremely down. Depressed might have been closer but in any case I was living under their roof and so I had to live under their rules.

There would be no further point in discussing the trip further that night so I didn't. The next day I found my father alone and decided I would speak to him.

Hey Dad? Can we talk? I asked

"Sure" he said "... we can talk."

"Look I said if you are so dead set against me going to California then I won't go. Out of respect for you I will not go against your wishes but..." I gathered my thoughts up here and then continued "...I have to be honest with you. I will not go but I will always resent the decision."

The silence was a killer and after what seemed like hours but was probably only minutes I was about to turn away when he finally spoke. "Then go."

My face lit up with a smile. "Do you mean it? I asked. He simply nodded.

Something had changed his mind and so on the only occasion that I can every remember my father reversed his decision. I had not hugged my father in a very long time but I hugged him that day.

I had to start packing almost immediately. The trip would start Saturday night, immediately following my cousins wedding.

A very happy birthday Phoenix.

"Well that didn't go well." I said to myself. In fact it was terrible.

Mom would be an emotional mess and my father would have to be blind, deaf and absent to miss her clues.

I was committed and my confidence was high that I would make her come around. In my own mind I seriously thought Dad would be more reasonable. I know from the stories he told me that he an my uncle Paul chummed around as young men, after all they were first cousins as well. Their relationship paralleled my relationship with Don.

I came home and waited. Waited for supper and my father. Supper had been ready for over an hour but dad had taken a late walk-in and so the delay. He finally walked in through the back door and say his hello's. Dinner was very quiet and for our family that was extremely odd. Supper was finished and my mom and sister began clearing away plates, Dad turned to me and asked "So, what's going one here?"

"Don wants to go to California and has asked me to go along. I told Mom I was going." I said flatly.

I have seen my Dad angry many times but what happened next I hadn't ever seen.

"So now you think you're going to tell me! The answer is NO! You can't go.! Your car will never make it, and what do you think you will use for money?

My voice rose as well "I've been working for 13 months Dad, I saved more than enough to pay for school and go on this trip!"

With that my Dad slammed his fist and flew into a rage "And I've been working all my life to put bread on the table and a roof over our heads and the answer is still no!"

I will spare you the Italian tirade but with that he took off and went for a drive. I heard the screen door crash, and a few seconds later I hear the Ford XL fire up.

"I told you." my mom said.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Silence,

A killing sound

Empty, yet full of thought

Of beauty lost and sorrow found.

Roses, red roses

Mahogany box gleaming

Rolled out lifted up and carried

Determined looks on grown faces

A steady march, a heavy load.

Duty bound,

Gently they lower it down

to the ground and stand clear.

Now they come.

Roses and tears

Drying in the sun.

I watch it disappear

A handful at a time.

A final tribute

Good bye dear friend and God's speed.

The first one you approach will be mom I thought to myself. If Mom hates the idea then Dad is going to flip. I worked all this time just so I could afford tuition and board at Teacher's college in Windsor. Months of coming home smelling of pots and pans and being treated like I was a moron, Dam it I thought to myself I deserve this break.

Mom was in the kitchen prepare a meal and cleaning up a few dishes. She was always very good about keeping her work area from clutter, I trait that I would adopt later in life but in this house the kitchen was Mom's domain.

"Mom, Don asked me if I would take a trip out west with him just before I go back to school." She looked like I just blasphemed and quickly answered " You can't go you have a job."

"I know ma, but I was going to quit anyway to go back to school, I will just quit a couple of weeks earlier." I was trying to keep calm. To speak in a matter of fact way and not to make in confrontational.

"I don't think thats a very good idea?" she chirped. I could see she was getting upset flushing a bit in the cheeks.

"Why ma, why do you say that?" again as quiet a voice as I could manage.

"Where do you want to go and for how long?" she asked.

Now your talking ma, don't knee jerk until you hear me out.

"California, and the whole trip will be two weeks." I said with a smile.

Brace yourself I said to myself here she comes.

"California!! You crazy? You know how far is California.?" yes she was screaming now. "Where you going to stay, what are you going to eat? Two weeks on the road!!? What if something happens, mamma mia ma questo christiano e mato."

"Mum, slow down, and calm down. One question at a time and I will try and answer all of them." She had not even stopped ranting while I was speaking those words but eventually she did.

While she allowed me to speak her body language was closed. I thought it was going to be a hard sell but I kept calm until she had heard me out and said this. "Well that's all well and good but your father is never going to allow it!"

I took what she said as she would never allow him to allow it and became very anger.

"He won't allow it?! I asked it like a question. My face was burning and I continued in an ever increasing volume. "I'm twenty one almost twenty two years old ma! I am not a kid you know. Dad came to Canada at the same age. I don't believe you are acting this way. Listen to me and get this in your head. I am going, understand?"

At 5'9" and 179 pounds I dwarfed my mother. She saw the resolve on my face and heard my anger. " You are going to have to talk to your father, not me."

"Fine." I snarled "I will!" and I turned and stormed off.

The Road Trip

Routine had set in, and was quickly learning to hate my job. After eight months of the life of a porter, eight months of a mundane job, eight months of putting my life basically on hold, my cousin approached me and asked "How would you like to drive to California with me?"

"What's in California?" I smirked as I took a long toke off his joint. My cousin Don (or Domenic depending on my mood) and I were close. Close in the sense that we grew up together, cared and looked out for each other, and bickered and argued like an old married couple. "This chick I met that is really cool is down in SanDiego visiting a friend and asked me to check her out if I made it down." he responded.

I handed him the jointed coughed a bit and then continued. "You want to go all the way to California to see a girl from Ontario?" I smiled a half smile and looked for his reaction, it was obvious he had the hots for her. "She terrific. She is 24 and a school teacher."

"And she's hot." I finished the thought for him and he laughed as I took the words right out his mouth.

We laughed a lot when we were together and both high. Mostly we laughed at stupid things. Only occasionally it occurred to me that I was not nearly as funny without the marijuana but we liked each other in spite of our never ending desire to one up each other.

"And she's hot!" he continued after he had recovered from the giggling fit I had set off.

"My dad has offered to pay for gas, if and only if you come with me." My uncle Paul was a strict, over bearing, over protective father that thought that while the trip would be a great growth experience for his son it would be to risky for Domenic to go it alone. "What?!" I asked. "Your father thinks I'm an idiot..." more fits of laughter this time from both of us "... and why would it comfort him to know that I was with you?"

Domenic paused and then continued "I don't know and I don't care but if you don't come I doubt I will be able to afford it alone, and besides we will have the time of our lives!"

"When would this trip start and for how long will we be away?" I asked. "The last two weeks of August about a week after your birthday and we would be back September 1st." Don said in a more relaxed and matter of fact way. After I brief pause he asked "So you want to come?"

I wanted to say "Hell ya! Sounds great!" but the reality was I would have a hard time selling the idea to my parents.

"We will have to see." I said rather flatly.

"See what!" Domenic persisted "Don't you want to go?"

"Yes, but..." I started

"But what?" he jumped in.

"I doubt my parents will let me go." I finished

Domenic stared at me in disbelief. "You're kidding me right? You are twenty fricking one years old! Just tell them your going!" He was practically screaming at me now. "You have your own money, just tell them your going."

"You're right." I answered"... but they are not going to like it." The joint finished and I lit up a cigarette. I drew a long sweet drag off my cigarette and pondered the scene in my head. Nope they weren't going to like it, of that I was certain.

It is 19,250 days from the start date to the end date, but not including the end date

Or 52 years, 8 months, 14 days excluding the end date

Alternative time units

19,250 days can be converted to one of these units:

* 1,663,200,000 seconds

* 27,720,000 minutes

* 462,000 hours

* 2750 weeks

There is something savage in the way we consume an apple. It is an interesting perspective. Enjoyed you view Zool.

Well titled and in terms of the expected effect I would say you probably largely succeeded. It is difficult for me to criticize an attitude I once held myself. I was a troubled defiant youth with a large chip on my shoulder.

Several passages stuck me

So scream to the one you call God

scream till your throat becomes raw

but where is his true voice?

Will he ever scream back to you?

If there is a god=creator why would he have given a child a gun? Free will

What would this god=creator say to this small speck of dust that raged so eloquently? Large yawn

What would be the point of screaming back to a defiant child that isn't listening?

So cast me aside, I will not grovel at your feet

force my nature back down my throat.

take away the temptations that make me human

no, send me to fire, I will not change what I am

This is almost an acknowledgment of the existence of a higher being and doing this

This old old quote was brought to mind "There are no atheists in foxholes"

As to re awaking the doubt that once lived inside of me it fell a bit short and besides we are living in a free society where everyone has the right to have their own opinion.

I remember thinking to myself "Oh my! Bob Dylan has found religion!" when I heard this song he wrote but he is right.

You're gonna have to serve somebody,

Well, it may be the devil or it may be the Lord

But you're gonna have to serve somebody.

I first became acquainted with this young mage in the old days of Maritel's Arch Mage. He was a fellow guild mate that had a special gift. His declarations of war were always entertaining and he quickly became famous for his ability to weave a story that was both efficient and hysterically funny. I remember finding out just how young he was in those days and marveled at his potential as a writer and or humourist.

So once again I get to be amazed that he is just now turning 24 years of age. Hope the day finds you surrounded with friends (mostly female) with just enough stimulation to keep that active mind of yours busy. Congratulations and a very happy birthday my friend Wyvern.

It was a strange time in my life. Barely aware of the political currents swirling around me I was on my way in to work one morning, listening to the car radio hearing for the first time about a small break in that was being described as the Watergate Scandal. I was barely paying attention. Another late night partying with friends. A couple of beers and quite a few joints later it was 1:45 in the morning. The thirty minute drive home left me with about four hours sleep. I was on carts this week (thank god!) and so work would be relatively easy. I walked in and found Dave muttering to myself in front of three steel sinks and greeted him sweetly "Good morning Dave."

Dave was not amused "Screw you!" He hissed. I was ready to start riding the elevators up to the various floors and pushing carts to the east and west wings. Each floor would have at least two kitchens where the food carts would be dispensed in meals that would be carried to each individual patient. Something happened to the food somewhere between the main kitchen and the floors. The flavour seemed to leach away, the texture changed and even the colour seemed to fade. Could never figure out how it left the basement smelling wonderful and by the time it reached people no one could eat it. I was on my third floor run waiting in front of "Emerg" for an elevator. A patient that had been involved in a very serious accident was being taken into surgery which was on the sixth floor. I remember thinking to myself, poor bastard is fucked. He was bandaged from head to toe in bandages like a mummy you would see at a Saturday matinée. We rode up together and as I stood there I felt the patients eyes on me. I smiled weakly and suddenly the patient spoke my name, my full name. "You know me?" I asked. "Ya I know you its me Terry." I recognized that voice it was a boy from my old neighbourhood from the east end. "Terry Robinson? What the hell happened to you bud?" I said in total disbelief. "Motorcycle accident. I fractured my skull and my brain is swelling. I am on my way into surgery. They tell me I have a fifty fifty chance of pulling through." He said it in such a matter of fact fashion that I stood dumbfounded and couldn't respond. "My chances are zero if they don't get the swelling down." he continued. The elevator had reached my floor and I wished him luck and watched as the door closed. I finished my shift and decided to see how he made out. I was heading out the front door and stopped to ask the front desk. She looked up Terry Robinson and her features slackened. "He a friend of yours?" she asked. I nodded and she carried on "I am sorry, he died in surgery."

I turned and walked out the door. Lit a smoke and took a long drag. He had never been a close friend of mine, more of an acquaintance really. Dam it why were my hands shaking? I felt tears welling as I walked to the parking lot and got into my car. I hadn't seen or heard from Terry in over ten years. He was always a tall blond daredevil that took crazy chances on his bike. It didn't surprise me to hear motorcycle accident. It fit the personality I knew as a boy. He was three months older than me and already twenty one. As I started my car it was just becoming aware of the fact that he wouldn't be celebrating twenty two.