_Zen_

is there any expression to express how i feel ive fallen deeply in love and now i know that its real and i know im so much work but she's still here this morn she accepted me last night and i kept her warm and while some doubts are gone others still remain and my job was to come here and dispel them all the same she just left my room and i can still smell her here and i dont know what i'd be if she wasnt my dear she's waiting for me to go home she thinks that i'll scare but i know what i've found, and also i know its extremely rare i'd never do anything hurtful but thats something she'll see in time for now im sitting thinking and it just came out in rhyme.

i could never be sure about love always had a practical mind i've liked some people before but it feels different this time people talk about love so many stories we've heard didnt hold any water until she looked at me and said those 3 words i couldnt even react to it all i could do was believe all i could do was feel my heart swelling without reprieve and i was filled with a send of joy i find it hard to explain but im sure you'd have seen me grinning ear to ear on that day and maybe some doubts of mine could finally be put aside love cant be such a bad thing if it gives you that sense of pride.

The second lightning flash illuminated the sign above the door. Apaltra sighed with relief for finally having found a public place with roof. The low building looked shabby, but yellow light poured from the single window. The window itself had the - now - typical four pieces of thick glass. She couldn’t see through the opaque panes so it was still a big gamble to go in, but she really needed the warmth and rest. Maybe she could even dry her clothes? The world started spinning again and she leaned against the doorpost to clear her head again. From here, close to the door, she could hear voices - normal, human voices - talking and even laughing. Someone started singing badly but was laughed away into the crowd of voices again. Another sigh, some adjusting of her hood, and the slender woman entered. Several stares and a hushed silence were her greeting. It was a small room with few tables and banks along the walls. At the far end was a low fire which brought warmth and was used for cooking. Her nose told her it had a roast on it. The conscious connection between herself and Fenix flared to life, and she instructed him to seek a room for the night. He shrugged mentally and relayed a reluctant acceptance that he couldn’t accompany her afterall. Although it took him seeing for himself how many regular folks were in the tavern to convince him. That had been difficult to stay firm on at first and she had been too tired to argue much. In the end she could only walk away with the promise to let him sleep next to her bed at least. Only If she managed to get one of course. ok i tried to fix the obvious spelling, and comma splices. some incomplete sentences i simply took out for lack of a better idea of what to do with them. a couple run on sentences i broke into two. lemme know what you think.

where am i sleeping tonight how can we avoid a fight i dont need any drama in my life i drove a thousand miles to see you use your womans wiles i dont need any drama in my life i know when you're testing me but i try not to let you see that i dont need any drama in my life and i could forgive you anything but thats not an invitation because i dont need any drama in my life just relax a bit, think this through dont do what i think you're going to i dont need any drama in my life we both know we have something good i'm only hoping you do what you should i dont need any drama in my life dont burn this bridge, you'll regret it either that, or maybe i just dont get it but i dont need any drama in my life i can genuinely offer you a smile just sit and talk with me a while because i dont need any drama in my life.

i look across at eyes looking down they look down on purpose avoiding looking back at me but it only makes the situation worse ive faked so many smiles a wink, and a sly smirk on my face but she knows what im thinking the look is all out of place i sip a beer, the awful taste preoccupies my mind im searching my brain for a topic but theres nothing i can find trivial 4 word conversations seem to make up the bulk of today and theres so much to talk about but i just cant seem to find the way her answers are short she knows shes being curt shes so unapologetic and she knows thats one thing i love about her once in a while she fakes a smile she winks, and gives a grin but im sure we're both wondering if our friendship is running thin anyday but today, it would never have crossed my mind now all of a sudden shes cold or maybe its just that shes tired? and i think back to yesterday any other time but right now and im not sure why this happened im not sure what, and how ad everytime i close my eyes im transported back in time and a deep breath of air fills me enough for another forced smile and i know this is just a blip on a long radar of our relationship and tomorrow will be fun again but damned if i dont miss her right now.

however many tales you told me i always could accept the things that happened before me i didnt need you to regret now im faced with a new test something here and now and im trying hard to let it go although i dont know how maybe i was foolish to think you'd change for me or maybe i assumed too much about how this was going to be and then i hear your sobbing and i forgive you in a second i thought i thought of everything but this i hadnt reckoned and now i hear the details now im not angry, but sad that someone who you trust would dare treat you so bad and i wish this hadnt happened and i know that you do too and im trying to ignore it but its so hard to do i have no ground to stand on you're not even mine but you're not surprised by my silence on the line but its not enough to make me let go of you maybe it is something that i was supposed to go through a little taste of reality when my head's up in the clouds im not going to let go of you but i'll let you bring me back down.

your honesty surprises me, and your realism keeps me grounded. but honestly, with you and me, my heart is already sounded. or if i said to you, as i often do, that your mind is where you caught me. that unbeknownst to you, i am drawn into, the lessons you have taught me. and that not to say, that your looks are just ok, im not the only man who noticed. but the way you talk, and your sarcastic mock, have added more to my motives. would you be shocked, if you knew i talked about you to my friends. and that i smile, the whole while, and how my feeling never ends. yes, this is real, yes, its how i feel, but you dont have to believe me. so we'll drink rum, when i come, and you decide how to recieve me.

hmm, actually i think you might know her. she goes by the name sefira.

well i must admit, "the passionate shepherd to his love" has always been one of my favorite poems, so i lept at the chance to do a "shout out" as they say. hehe

could it be that i've felt it, and yet not said; those evenings together when we lied in bed. tami, i'm falling for you. did you know all along, the way that i felt? and played your hand the way it was dealt. tami, reassure me. and now that i know, what thorns your rose bears, could you be kind, and answer my prayers? tami, be with me. now i know it wont be a walk in the park, but theres something special when we're alone in the dark. tami, I want you. my passion, and happiness in being with you, could never be questioned as being untrue. tami, I need you. so reply to this passionate shepherd's plea, if you're the one nymph that i think you may be. tami, call me.

its been a while since i've posted anything. just wanted to say hi to appy, and wren and arwen, and thank you ladies for being nice to me and supporting me. i had a girl once, her skin was a light cup: of coffee i knew her well then, i used to know what she would think: beforehand and to see her? that was to know everything: of beauty oh, but to know her... that was to feel everything: of beauty i slept in her arms, and even then i dreampt: only of her and i woke to a surprise, that i had slept so soundly: without a stir but a time came, when she had to lead me back: to the real world and even then, i can honestly say that i never: truly returned.

wow! so does this mean that i get whatever i ask for?? if so, please make the cheque payable to..... hehe. aaaanyways. personifying the rat was a good idea. you could probably keep going with the idea, the only problem is, you said rats dont run around in that thing. only hampsters do. but still, plenty of material left. i like those things running round and round in that wheel thing.

well... after drawing that in, where to begin to respond. i think its the best poem i have read by you appy. the repetition works nicely, and although formatting is a small thing, it is effective. only one question. when are we gonna get some happier topics!!!!!?!?! hehe, good work appy.

i like the message i guess. is that really the way you feel? seems to me that people walk a thin line between wanting attention and wanting anonymity. nice poem wren.

after years of being so close i guess it comes as no surprise that i'll try to be honest now i was never good at telling lies so i know its for the best to let you go off on your own way and that even if i could it would be wrong to make you stay not a day passes me by that i dont remember what we had but knowing that you're happy now keeps me from feeling sad i had such a great time with you probably the best time ever so you should know this isnt goodbye or at least not goodbye forever now i know it wasnt always good things didnt always go as planned but you must admit that overall the problems were out of our hands the only way to end this off a few last words before we part just know that whatever i've done has come straight from the heart.