Finnius

"This item, Finnius. Is it a gem? Is it red?" Questions cut close to home, too close for comfort. "Yes. A small red gem, easily concealable. Very dangerous, though." Names are given, and votes cast. "All right. Forest it is. If no one else has anything they'd like to do here? Then we leave." And he pulls himself upright, dusting himself off a bit and stretching. A few hours later The open road, as there was one on this side of Eelix, was comforting. It was an odd group of people drawn together, with a decidedly... green bent. But that was really no problem. Alric could be useful... Aiden has been useful... Shanna will be useful... Finnius files away his thoughts, puts his companions into their seperate positions in his head. The road is long, and they walk for the better part of the day, stopping to make camp in the evening. A fire is built, and food is prepared. Around the fire, conversation begins. Explanations, about storms and gems, and the strings of fate that tie people together. Meanwhile, elsewhere "This is not a good idea, Cada. I don't like it. What if he finds out?" Two figures speak in the darkness underneath a stone outcrop, shadowed and wrapped in black cloth and leather. The man who speaks addresses a woman, arms folded across her chest, leaning against the cool stone. "And what if he does, Brendon? What do you think he'd do? Not even he can take all four of us at once, and you know it..." She shakes her head, draws herself up. "It's about time for a change, anyway. Broken Stone sees this, and will back me when the time comes. They only wait for my word... And he's become unstable, even you can see that, and well... sorry to say it hun, but you're not the sharpest knife in the belt." "You're just ambitious. Blue-White-Blue will accept you if you can make this plan of yours work. Do what you want." The man turns to go, then pauses and looks over his shoulder, concern showing in his eyes. "Just be careful. I wouldn't want anything to happen to you..." He leaves, disappearing into the sand as easily as a fish slips into a stream. The woman is left to herself. She stays under the stone for a moment, waiting, and then slips into the desert herself. All is still, and silent. And then a shadow detaches itself from a tiny crevice, barely large enough for the human form which swings itself down, soundlessly. The form scrabbles across the stones in the opposite direction, farther into the desert, trailing blood from the wounds in its shoulders...

A little blue man pops his head into the Caberet Room, having seen a very long and nigh-inpronouncable word that caught his attention. He quickly scans the layout, noting the burritos and Almost Dragonic labels plastered on everything. A sweat drop trickles its way down his brow, catching in the corner of his eye before finishing its course to his chin. The locusts danced around a large bonfire, some throwing themselves in, crying in their little insectoid voices. "I'll love you forever, Scarlett!" "For the queen!" "Finnius, you bastard, I'll see you in (Crackling fire noises)!" At a makeshift altar in the forest, a locust dressed in a black suit, with a spot of white at the throat pronounces the ceremony over, and a sinking feeling settles into the groom, as the bride shows her teeth in a grin. Sharp, needle teeth, filed to razor-like deadliness. Finnius snaps out of the flashback and begins screaming, wailing incoherently, and promptly passes out from lack of oxygen.

On IRC, just now in fact, We had a morphing name, Appy started, then I joined in, And confused poor Morgane. Appy ended 'MegaMelon,' And I was Finnfused there, When Morgy sent me a PM, Intended just for her! It took us all a moment, To realize this plight, When Morgy, seeing double, Said "Appy is Finnius, right?" Confusion reigned, laughter bloomed, And in the end we got it, So let this be a lesson, When Appy's there, I'm not it. So, although this mess is finished, And although it may sound sappy, For even just one minute, It was kinda fun being Appy. ---------------- I really couldn't help myself.

On a lighter note... The Ballad of the Kung-Fu Squirrel 1 'Twas many a night ago in Greywell town/ That shifty dealings did go down/ And 'though the pox was goin' 'round/ The squirrels did skip and jump./ I was leaving my duties at Belly Up/ And no sooner had I went to 'sup/ On some delicious butter cup/ Than a shadow did start my leg to hump!/ I kicked it off and started away/ But I heard a soft "No, please stay/ I'll mind myself and tell you today/ Of Kung-Fu Squirrels and sewer sumps."/ 2 This peaked my pique, of course, you see/ And he had spoke so, merrily/ Although, I really had to pee/ I decided to hear his tail./ "The sun," he said "was turning red,/ And fuzzy things were full of dread/ Because St. Killum's hoary head/ Had pronounced "Death! Without fail!"/ This left us with with just one course,/ To strike first and without remorse/ For squirrel season was riding Death's black horse/ And weilding Killum's fuschia flail!/ 3 So give up, man, to Kung-fu pain!"/ Wherein I kicked him in the brain,/ And dropped his body down a drain/ But that brought more and more./ The furry beasts in twos and threes/ Came flying softly through the trees,/ To 'venge thier comrade de-partees/ Who left this world of ours./ I blasted them with beams of light/ And called up wraiths to help me fight,/ But all for naught as their fierce bite/ Opened Heaven's Doors./ 4 The Holy Being then Descended/ And to the squirrels He recommended/ To kick me where my manhood ended/ I'd never survive this./ But, lo!, what Darkness from within/ Did'st then my soul and heart begin,/ To fill me with a hope to win/ It was St. Killum's violent bliss!/ So I smashed aside my peaceful nature/ And crushed the squirrels like Schwarrzenegger,/ Within abject loath and legislature/ I killed them all with umm... you know.../ The End

The battle field stretch'd out Blood soaked in the morning And all I could think of was the land. I had killed my troops my subjects my comrades. I sent them off to die on the field For pointless land. What does it matter who holds the ground? Why do we fight this way? But still, I took the land Payed for in blood In death Shatter'd souls. The wind blows from the east now, Cold, chilling my bones. I still hold the field, I do not want it. I do not need it. But I will kill for it, if need be. My friends are buried there. ----------------------------- The field, with new growth already come, Has turned my eyes away. I can look and see their faces still The bodies and souls, Restless. I sent them off to win my war. My men Will never come home. I won, but they did not. The land is good, if tainted by my ambition, It will produce farms and towns Places of learning. It is a gain. I cannot turn back time, I can only regret What I have done. I have sown the seeds of war. My enemy Will come to take his land. I do not blame him. I would do the same. My people will suffer, not I. They will lose their lives. I have lost my Soul. ------------------------ The sun rises, Bloated and Red from the East. They know. What is coming is coming, the Beast. Mage-fire rains down, Drowning the land in Blood. All is well. They died for their own good. A world is torn, The mage's destruction complete. And the truth is know: Armaggedon is what you make of it. --------------------------- More to be added, as my madness creates them.

SteelDragon, thanks, for making me Run scared like a bowl weevil, And Bead: dear God man, Why do you look so evil? The purple suit, the sneering stance, The profile and goatee, Nearly made me wet my pants, It terrified poor me! Is this the guy, with iron fist, With locked jaw clenched in rage, Who bullwhips our poor mods, Pays them less than minimum wage? Is this the one, the very one, Who's red eyes exude hate, The horn'd brow marks him Satan's Son, His countenance hard as slate. It took me unaware, I say, It stole my pulse, my very breath, I may regain my sight one day, But my weak soul's bereft. --------------------------------------------- Seriously, the guy looks like an ice-pick wielding maniac. Or at least a Senator.

The Remains of the Tavern By the time Xavier turns back, Shanna and Finnius are already speaking softly in a corner. The desert man appears to be questioning the barmaid, his face growing longer with each passing moment. Eventually he holds up his hands and begins drawing symbols in the air. He studies Shanna for a few moments, and then reaches behind himself, pulling out a small pouch. He rummages around in this for a moment, finally pulling out a small blue stone, which looks similar to the one embedded in the Stormrider's carcass. Shanna immediately takes this, as well as more hesitantly accepting the large knife which the nomad removes from the belt at his waist. It is at this point that the two turn back to the rest of the group, and Finnius speaks in his gravelly voice. "Well... what an odd gathering this is... Seeing as introductions are in order, my name is Finnius. I am here on behalf of the Sayaftali clan Blue-White-Blue. My appointed task is to recover an item of some importance. Any who aid me are welcome, and will be rewarded. Be aware, however, that your lives will be in danger. In any case, I strongly suggest we relocate this before that storm swings back around. Either we go deeper into the desert, or away into the forest. The choice, for the moment, makes little difference to me. I leave that to you." He settles back, sitting on his heels and waiting for an answer.

The Middle of the Desert A stone outcropping juts into the early morning air, above parched sand and grit the color of an over-ripe lemon peal. The stone is the shape of a giant tooth, large enough for the group of cloaked individuals which currently occupy it's top to stand comfortably. There are five of them, wrapped in black cloth and dusty leather, staring out into the distance where a thin line of green is broken only by a wide brown dot, low to the ground. The wind kicks up a thick wall of dust, which blows over the group, coating them yet again. The one on top of the rock, on the point of the tooth, so to speak, covers his eyes and waits for the dust to pass. After it does, he turns to the other four. "Do we really know what we're doing here? The blue-eye is young and inexperienced. He has very little spark in him at all, and only one real talent. To send him after the stone is... risky at best." The four look at each other, consider the one on the point. There are mumbles of disapproval, mumbles of dissent. "But, still, he's our best hope. He is not of our blood, and can approach the temple safely..." One of the four moves closer to the one, reaches out a black-gloved hand, claps it over a shoulder like knotted steel. "We've been over this already. Are you going to make us stand out on this gods-forsaken rock all morning again, or will there be an actual point this time?" The one on the point stares at the line of green, stares at the low brown dot. "No. There is a point this time. There always was, you were just too dense to see it. Watch." He points to the line. A moment drifts by, the only sound the rustling wind, the only movement four black cloaks flapping around bodies. Then the moment is gone, and the sky above the brown dot explodes with lightning. White lances dart down into the brown, again and again. The one on the point lowers his arm and turns to the other four. He unwinds the black cloth that conceals his face, revealing a strong jaw and dark, hard eyes. "The gods themselves hurl their might even now at the cursed city, and we are made witness. You before me represent the ruling clans of the Sayaftal." He nods to each in turn, starting the farthest down the rock and ending with the one who had so insolently laid hand on him. "This is a sign. We have the approval of the gods. Inform your clans that we make war with the dawn, in two days." He turns back to the clashing storm, and dismisses the other four with a wave of his hand. "My harbinger has done his job well..." The near-Desert, closer to Eelix "The storm of the gods... exultant..." The rain pelts into the desert, precious water drains into the thirsty earth, gives a shock to the fragile balance of life in this dry soil. If there were anyone besides the one individual who stands, arms outstretched to catch the rain, present here, that person would notice that the outstretched person was slowly lifting off the desert sand, hanging in midair. They would notice that the man was reflecting sheets of water off of himself, letting it touch his skin momentarily, then rolling it back off into the sand. That person would also notice that he begins laughing, and then flickers in and out of time, in and out of reality for several moments. That person would then notice the man speaking, promising power and wealth, glory and gold to some unseen figure, an 'Aiden Serradin.' The person would notice the man lurch for a moment as two shining arcs of silver seem to pierce his shoulders. They would see him grimace, grin, and pull the twin knives out, then solidify once more, and drop to the desert's floor, without the cloak he was formerly wearing... Luckily, there is no one else in this place; no one to tell of what has gone. The man grins and wipes the blood from his shoulders, bare against the raging storm. The Remains of the Tavern The rain clears, admitting early morning sunlight, dawning on an unreal-seeming scene of carnage. "I am Alric. I believe introductions are in order." Blurred words reach Finnius' ears, blurred images of people. Searing pain tears through his dislocated shoulder. The nomad reaches up and grabs the joint, braces himself against an over-turned table... Her voice was clear and light, seeming only one step short of laughter and full of enthusiasm. "Can you do that everyday, or do you need to rest? Does your power come from a god or is it inside of you?" There is a snap, and the bone pops back into place, bringing with it a sense of calm, and a clarity reserved for those moments of intese physical pain. "My name's Mara. I'm a roc rider." Roc? The word swirls around in the air for a moment, finally catching in Finnius' ear. He immediately pulls the black cloth back around his face. He squats down to the floor, where a distinctly inhuman body lies bleeding. He looks up to Shanna, as he retrieves his curved blade from its lodging in the creatures hide. "This," points the nomad, "is a Stormrider. They are symbols of great change among my people, normally revered and usually peaceful." He flips the corpse over, and points to a small blueish jewel embedded in the thing's chest. "This is a Sayaftali mind-jammer. Very useful, but very much dependant on the strength of the user. They take years of training to even begin to be useful. Whoever put this on a Stormrider was a master." He looks back up to the barmaid, a sardonic grin spreading across his face. "Now, why would a Sayaftali master be interested in a simple barmaid... I think we very much need to speak."

One for the Road, Part 4: Gyrfalcon I left Atria in high hopes. So high, in fact, that I whislted as I walked to the next location. I had thought to purchase camping supplies, something I had sorely missed on the first legs of my journey. Pered would be surprised... For the first few days, travel was peaceful and fun. On the morning of the fourth day, however, I awoke to dark clouds overhead and thunder in the distance. As I was still in a good mood, I decided not to trudge through the promised storm, opting to camp for the day instead. I quickly surveyed my surroundings for a large sturdy object under which to pitch my tent. There was a large boulder with an old tree leaning heavily upon it, a perfect place. I made myself ready for the day, then curled up in the lee with my mouthpiece. The trumpet mouthpiece, incidentaly, can service as a harmonica, if you know how to play it right. I spent the first half of the day playing blues standards. As noon rolled around, the storm broke. I could see the indentations on the canvas above me as the fat raindrops hit it, splatting against the tough material. Thunder vied with whistling wind as the most prominent noise, intersperced with the occasional still quietness. I could see the lightning flash and fork through my open tent-flap. It was a symphony, really. Nature was playing a song, and it was all for me. Towards evening, the storm died down and the nightingales began their chirping. The sun could barely be seen setting under the heavy clouds. With this marvelous work of art confronting me, I drifted off into sleep. I slept not long, before the sounds of clanging metal brought me around. What, I thought is that, and why is it so loud? I peevishly pulled on a shirt and set out into the damp night forest. After several minutes, the sounds stopped. I turned to go back, but was no more than ten steps before a crazy man with a sword leapt out at me from behind a tree. Naturally, I turned tail and fled, or would have, had I not run into a six-foot tall half-elf and fallen ungracefully on my rump. At this point, there were exactly two things on my mind: 1) I was going to die, and 2) I had forgotten to turn off the iron before I left home a month ago. (Why that should occur to me now, I still don't fully know. I attribute it to my life flashing before my eyes, as a result of number 1.) The first thing, at any rate, was knocked to the side as I recognized the half-elf. "Gyr? What are you doing out here?!" The old man turned to Gyr and spoke harshly. "Pupil, do you know this trespasser?" "Hai, Face-sama." "Who, then, is he." That was not a question, but a command. Gyr, uncharacteristically, answered humbly. "He is Finnius, Face-sama, a friend from my youth." The old man nodded and waved his hand. Gyr bowed deeply, then walked into the trees, off to wherever he had come from. I got up to follow, but the old man, Face, stopped me with a hand on my shoulder. "No. He is not to have any contact." I didn't like this man. He was hunched over, wrinkled beyond imagining, and he spoke condescendingly. "I just want to say hello, after that, I'll leave." I expected him to protest, to stand to what he had told me, but he merely smiled, then released me. "Do as you wish, but be warned. Pupil will not answer you, nor acknowledge you are there." Somehow, I doubted it. I stomped off in the direction Gyr had taken, following his tracks in the muddy ground. They led me to a clearing, where Gyr sat on his heels in front of a candle. His head was bowed in contemplation, eyes unblinking. "Gyr, what's up? That old guy is nasty, eh? Hope he's worth whatever you're paying him." From behind me, Face spoke softly. "He is paying me nothing." "Oh. Err... so what do you do out here?" "He cleans the temple, shines my swords, fetches water, cooks meals, and does my errands." Still addressing Gyr, I spoke. "Oh, I get it. You work for him. How much you get for all that?" "He is paid in the knowledge that I give him." Gyr hadn't moved once. I began to walk towards him, to do what, I don't know. Just to be closer than at the edge of a clearing, I guess. "Do not approach Pupil." I rounded on the old man, furious. "What right do you have to make Gyr do your laundry for nothing? What right to tell him he can't talk to me?" I turned back to Gyr, "Why do you even put up with this, man? Why not just leave?" Face barked, "Answer, Pupil!" "Discipline of the body leads to discipline of the mind, once the mind is mastered, the chi can be touched. Chi is the basis of life, and once it is yours to command, no man can command you. Through solitude, I discipline my body." He said this softly, and without moving, without even turning to me. As if he answered only to Face. As if I weren't there. Disgusted, I left. If Gyr didn't want to talk to me, he could at least say so. I didn't get far before the old man stopped me again. When he spoke this time, it was quietly. "I see that you are upset. Why?" "Gyr... he acts like a puppet now, like he's empty. What did you do to him?" "I did nothing. Gyrfalcon came to me. I did not force him into anything, he is free to leave at any time." "I don't buy that. If he was free to do as he wanted, why did he ignore me? He's one of my best friends!" "Why should that upset you? Didn't I tell you he would?" "I... I didn't hink he would. He's my friend." "You have said that already, and it is true. Pupil knows this as well as I. The question remains, though. Are you his?" "What?! Of course I am!" "Then why did you not believe him? You were thinking that he was no longer interested in your company, am I correct?" The fact that he had hit on my emotions so easily angered me past the snapping point. I struck out, hitting the nearest tree with my fist. I turned from the old man, beginning the walk back to my tent. Two steps into my retreat, a long steel blade slipped up to my throat, and Face spoke calmly into my ear. "My nodachi could take your life now, and Pupil would not come to help. He is my student, and he is a good one. Do not leave here angry at him, or me. You disbelieved me, when you saw his respect for me. Do you have so little faith in his judgement? You doubted still, when you saw his actions. Do you have no respect for his opinions? And then you lashed out at a helpless tree, because you were angered at the truth, as a child would. Go away. Do not come back until you have grown up." With this, the blade drew back, and the old man was gone. I packed up my things and left the forest that night, not wanting to feel the shame that colored my face. -Finnius, With a Bustle in His Hedgerow Finnius posted May 28, 2001 10:05 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- One for the Road, Part the Last: Peredhil Face, I reflected, had been right. More than that, he'd made me consider my current course of actions. Who was I doing this for? Obviously myself, but I had also thought the rest of the guys would enjoy the visit. Instead, I found they had their own lives, seperate from both myself and each other. I was no more than a pleasant memory. Might as well get it over with. Pered was the last one left, as Gyr had so kindly come to me. He, like RG, had gone to college. The difference between them was that I recognized the name of Pered's new school. The National University of Terra was a well-respected haven of academia. I was fairly sure Pered had at least one steady girlfriend, quite possibly more. Sly old dog. I arrived at NUT on the fourth morning after being run out of Face's forest. The sky was overcast, not-quite-promising rain. It fit my mood just fine. NUT was about as far as you could get from Atria's fertile organic grounds. Still, it was beautiful in its way. Concrete walkways meandered through well-plotted arches, intrinsically carved fountains, and massive mason-worked buildings. It was overwhelming. I found Pered's room quickly; the students were housed alphabetically. There was a note taped to the front door, addressed to me, of all people. I took it down, had a seat on one of the many stone benches, and read it through. After the first time, I set it down, then closed my eyes. This was soooo like Pered. I picked it up again and read it once more, more slowly. Finn, I heard from Wyv the other day. He says that you're coming to see me soon, that you're coming to see all of us. I, however, have a field exam to take, so I am leaving this for you. I don't know how long I'll be gone. They say that it can take up to a year, and that some students choose to stay on after that. I'm sorry that I can't be there, hope you understand. Wherever I am now, (They wouldn't tell me.) I wish you good luck. Do the same for me, OK? Peredhil Well, I tried. I had honestly tried. Maybe things would go better at the ten-year reunion. I reflected on things as I sat there. Meeting Wyv, and finding him a stranger. Finding RG, who'd found contentness that I never had. Gyr's teacher finding me, as Gyr was finding himself. And now this. I trudge through mud, lightning, and concrete, only to find that Pered was already gone. It made me smile, but I don't why. Maybe it was that Pered had been so excited to leave that he had forgotten to say what the field exam was for. Maybe it was that I had been expecting some climactic end to my journey, and found only a note taped to a door. A cosmic "Out to Lunch," or something like that. -Finnius, Letting it Be

Attempt at Oriental Style RPG Bedlam: I am ninja. My rife is difficurt and ronery. The rest speaks for itself: I tried to disuade Bob from this course of action, I really did. Unfortunately, he didn't respond well to my repeated attempts at diplomacy. In the end, it was either this or let Bob try to assassinate Bedlam. You know how ninjas can be... From this point on, I wash my hands of the whole mess. _____________________________________________ In the dim twilight before the moon rises, two men crouch in shadow. They have been there for hours, watching the patterns of the patrolling guards on the high walls of Kyuden Mari. Now, almost as one, they move. From the low shrubbery which concealed them, Bob and his companion ghost to a particulary tall bonsai tree leaning heavily against the towerring wall of the Palace of Bedlam. Bob's companion moves off towards the eastern wall, and the front gate of Kyuden Mari. Bob climbs the tree and waits for the coming distraction. After several minutes, at the appointed time, the other man bangs against the front gate and demands to be let in. Several guards are dispatched to take care of what is seen as a noisome drunkard. This is the moment Bob has been waiting for. He uncoils his legs like a spring, propelling him toward the high wall, and over. Once inside the insidous place, Bob strips his gi off, revealing a dirt-brown undershirt. A matching kimono and jingata are removed from the small bag on his back, and quickly donned. The colors of Clan Mari don't fit Bob too well, but they're less likely to attract attention than a red-trimmed black ninja gi. The halls of Kyuden Mari are narrow and winding, with many rooms. Some are unlocked and open, but Bob is here for something a bit more... well guarded. On the second floor of the opulent palace, Bob passes a room from which the voice of the great daimyo Bead can be heard trying to entice his men to play something called "Chutes and Ladders." Bob shakes his head sardonically and continues walking. The third floor is almost entirely deserted, save for one guard stationed in front of a heavily locked, and no doubt trapped, room. Bob approaches the guard as if he is a well-known friend. "Greetings, Sama, I am here to relieve you." The guard's eyes narrow at this. "I have been told of no such orders. Bead-sama himself told me to guard this door until dawn." "So I see. At least let me offer you something to eat. I was going to have this for breakfast myself, but it seems as if you will need the energy more. And since it seems I cannot disuade you from your course, I would much rather you have it." Bob pulls three small cookies and a container of milk from the bag on his back and offers it to the guard. "No thanks, I had a big dinner." "I insist..." "No, really, I'll be fine. Keep your cook-" At this point, Bob slips a dagger into the man's eye. The guard falls silently, and Bob pops a cookie into his mouth. He really should have accepted. Some of my best, I think. Ah, well. The Ninja Cookie Chef picks the locks on the door and gently slides it open. By this time the sun is peeking through the clouds, and Bob berates himself for taking so long. After all, it was only paper. Bob takes a moment to puruse the room, noting the poison dart thrower, trap door, laser cannon, thermo-nuclear trigger, and surveilence camera. Too easy... Several minutes later, Bob catapults over the wall, unseen save for his companion waiting on the ground. "Did you get it?" "Yes. Would you like to see?" The other ninja removes his mask, revealing a shockingly blue face. "Of course. And I'm willing to bet that everyone in Terra will want in on this. How much do you think we could sell it for?" Bob considers for a moment, then grins wryly. "Nothing." Before his blue-skinned companion can say anything, Bob pulls a business card from his pack, signs it, weights it, and expertly tosses it onto the wall where it will be found on the morning's patrol. "C'mon Finn, let's go tamper with this thing and get some breakfast. Myself, I'm thinking... maybe doughnuts." Later that morning, one of the soulless minions of Mari-Telecom stumbles across a business card reading as such: Ninja Bob, at your service, Good morning gentlemen. All you Quest for Glories are belong to Us. ----------------------------- And to Borrow from Yui: By mid-morning, the Palace of Bedlam had quieted from the flurry of activity that the missing Quest had spawned. Guardsmen with particularly-sharp huaberks and katanas prowled the grounds like caged tigers, glaring at anything and everything with looks that could kill. (The bellied-up crickets, birds, and mice littering the courtyard was all the proof anyone needed.) Needless to say, the servants were avoiding the courtyard. Within the building, in a chamber on the second floor, a black-robed figure knelt, head and shoulders bowed under a concealing cowl as the man sitting before it spoke. There was not a hint of motion or form until he fell silent, then a sharp nod. As the figure rose, a soft yet determined voice flowed through the air. "Hai, Bead-sama. Wakarimasita." * With that, the speaker bowed deeply and respectfully, the midnight fabric of the cloak sliding silently over the wooden slats of the floor. When it turned, a fair face and narrowed, angry green eyes shone out of the darkness. Yui-chan, Huntress of the Army of Darkness and loyal vassal of Mari, strode from the room, determination and barely-contained rage showing in each step. Once outside, she gathered her elven bow and pouch of diamond arrowheads from their place against the wall and slipped back into her black, leather calf-boots. Treacherous thieves. The populous must not know that the Quest is gone, for we all know that its power of Promise is all that holds together the Lands of Terra! Upon my honour, I shall bring back that which was stolen as well as the heads of those who had a part in its loss! The expression on her face as her thoughts fanned her rage higher was so thunderous that the unfortunate souls guarding the door exchanged worried glances. They knew the dangers of finding yourself in the way of Yui-chan's temper, for the Huntress possessed the gentle heart of Nature as well as the righteous wrath of the Holy. She was known and feared among all of the assassins of Clan Mari, and rightly so. Degenero and Iuz both gulped audibly at the thought of what had happened to Wyvern after she'd found out about the 'steel' shuriken he'd sold her. ... some scars never fade. Luckily, Yui chose to ignore the signs of weakness in the two guardsmen. Without a word or glance for them, she walked to the nearest shadow and disappeared into its infinite depths. ... after a few moments, the tension was broken by Bead-sama's cheery voice from within the room. "Now that that's taken care of... who wants to play 'Go Fish'?" * Japanese translated: 'Yes, Lord Bead. I understand.'

Bob the Ninja's Ill-Fated World-Wide Quest Worldwide Quest, Part 1 A cool wind blew, .e-d-u, As Ninja Bob, whom we all knew, Was on a quest, purused a ridge, Over London Bridge. This was the first, of many places, That Bob had shown his army's faces, While on his quest, Since Budapest. When into London, unannounced, The ninja army quickly pounced, And looked for shinies, which to plunder, They found but clocks, with ticks and tocks, And those were rent asunder. While Bob himself, the ninja master, Burst through a wall of brick and plaster, And grabbed what sparklies he could find, For he would use them to combine, Into a mirror, of such great stature, That all the world would find, A ninja in their mind. Worldwide Quest, Part 2 From London town, to prissy France, Where Bob was wearing pleated pants, And thinking that he'd found his chance, To make his ninja army dance. In old Versailles, and Paris too, Ninja Bob, whom we all knew, Was evil pure, incarnate badness, Sat alone, and sat in sadness. He thought, "Oh why, does everyone, Who sees my mask start, turn, then run? Do I cause terror where'er I go, Or do they fear my lumbego?" As he was thinking these sad thoughts, His ninja followers stole and fought, With Frenchies many, well really few, But that don't matter when they're huge, And when they claw like girly cats, The ninjas ran like frightenend grats! So France, it seems, is safe today, From Ninja Bob's invasive sway, And from his mirror-trick, which makes them green, With envy on the evil scene. "I'm not evil, don't be mean!" Sorry, Bob, we're out of time, And I'm really stretching for this rhyme.

An Epic Poem, Entitled Bob the Ninja Bob did live in eastern land, Between the mountains, sea, and sand, And practiced arts of cookie baking, While dreams of battle his days were making. He baked and basted, and knew he wasted, The time to learn just how life tasted, Not just pinwheels and gingersnaps, But shuriken, swords, and ninja traps. These kinds of things were his delight, When finally he dared learn to fight, And found that ninjitsu was not enough, He turned back to baking, to cookie making, Because that was truly tough. But still, at times, in darkest noon, The black-clad form of ninja doom, Was seen to leap from roof to room, And it was called "Ninja Cookie Chef," On account of the pastries that it left. But all were sour, left all bereft. One bright day, an elven man, Wearing colors dull, did demand, That Bob and he should have a fight, And Bob geared up and said "A'ight." The elf and Bob moved back and fro, But ne'er a hit contacted, ne'er a blow, That the sylvan man did try and throw, Then Bob whipped out his cookie dough. "Have at thee, dude, WHAA HOO, Hai HEE!" Whereon, Bob smacked him in the knee, The elf fell down ungracefully, Got up, then walked into a tree, And that fight went to Bob, you see. A legend grew, from town to land, Between the mountains, sea, and sand, That against any foe could stand, The Ninja Cookie Chef named Bob, So, naturally, bandits came to rob. The bandits came with fire and sword, With angry mutterance, into, towards, The little town in eastern land, Where Bob did work, and made his stand. There were twelve of them, large as oxen, But Bob had taken up Shadow Boxin', To supplement his Ninja Technique, Which, he had found, was getting weak. They swerved and slashed, and tried to cut, And Bob, he laughed and dodged them, but, He knew that time was running out, So he whipped out Gingersaurkraut, The newest weapon he had to tout. The sweet and sour cookie section, Had but one thing for selection, Gingersaurkraut, 'twas said, Could knock and stand you on your head, Or leave you very close to dead, This tastey weapon made of bread. The bandits ran away then, and, They became Pirates on Demand, And got a shop down in Milan, Where they sold forks, and pots, and pans, But never did they roam the land, Between the mountains, sea, and sand. When the wind blew hard from off the sea, Bob set off to make his way, He took with him provisions: three, Which I will try to name today. His ninja gear, if nothing else, Looked cool when worn, and what was more, If he got down, it'd sell itself, For lots of cash; for inns, drinks, and [censored.] He also took his baking stuff, In which he took much pride; Besides, his oven was large enough, That in it, he could hide. The last provision was his treasured home, A cardboard box labelled "Bob's Dojo, And Cookie Grille, We Also Deal in Loans," He found it really boosted mojo, When his heart dropped like a stone. And so it was, that Bob left there, With many shouts and waving hands, The place that in his soul, he'd share, Between the mountains, sea, and sand, His life, his times, his tales, his fears, Bob left, unspoken, not without tears.

Random Stuff The mindless drivel, Twirling, spiralling, it goes, Into my toilet. More Mages In Haiku Things like Snit are nice, Ayshela makes me happy, Confused and sad, too. Whizzing through the air, By the power of pulleys. Aardvark's catapult. Wiggly Cabbages, Humor, spiced and serious, Gwaihir delights me. Soft, fluffy comfort, Protection from the ninjas, Appy's warm blanky. Alaeha is nice, Defines haiku: I need not, Huggles in shoutbox. Orlan gets the girls, By the power of his looks, Sexy, sexy man. Soft, fluffy comfort, Protection from the ninjas, Canid's pointy teeth. And now for a change, The next few haikus will be, Written by Gollum. Predictions of doom, Shiny crystal balls and such, We likes Madame Q. Although they are green, Canid gives us Oreos, And we eats them all. Name is one full line, Degenero Angelus, It confuses us. Salinye has it... We knows she has the precious! Gives it back to us! Finnius giggles, Puts Gollum back in his box, Hits it with a stick. Once upon a time, There was a Scaley Wyvern, Cared only for Geld. And also was Gyr, Whose name was incoherent, We all mispronounced. Then there was Pered, Polite Ancient of the Pen, And dastardly Smith. More haiku's to come, Based on members of the Pen, I need Oreos. We like Psimon's work, Haiku is a lost art form, Why was I plural? Headphones are turned up, Roger Waters? A genius. Pink Floyd freakin' rocks! I notice the time. My eyes are disappointed. I must go to work.

Decleration of Poetry War, Accepted "Simple Yui-chan, Do not take this the same way As your direct war. We two bandy words To see who can make better. It is more subtle. The war you speak of, Is it not five days over? Why not let it go? I admit, Yui, I was mistaken to think That this was the first. Beat me at my best, And then I will bow to you. But not before then." A blue mage reflects; Poetry in symmetry, Art defining life.

Out-Flooding Effort, Part 2 A skiff on water, Degenero Angelus, Sitting on the lake. Soundlessly it breaks, The water flows from its dam, An end to your rest.

Message to Self, In Haiku Sunrise and sunset, Stars and blue skies in between. I watch; uplifted. To those falling out: The dream always ends, unwanted, I am sad for you. If, within one life, One can change the life of one, Life is satisfied. We all fall from grace. The wise will pick their own time, To ease the burden. Sun on the mountains, Moon in the night desert sky, I give this to you.

Lament on a Failed Marriage Scarlett O'Harpy, Why do you chase me with knives? Is it for my flesh? Why not order out, For italian or chinese, If you are hungry. It was just a sham, A ploy to save my buttocks, Yet, still... I feel hurt. Maybe it's the fork, Jamming harshly in my ribs. But maybe it's not. We are parted now, But I'll never forget it. Scarlett O'Harpy...

Gyrfalcon the Mad, Condensed Version The possess'd 'Falcon, Cov'ring the world in white Death, Saving it; the same.

A Few of My Favorite Mages, In Haiku Gyrfalcon: Half-elf of the north, Defying catagory. The Mad Mage descends. Hydrus: An empty shot glass. A Slayer for the ages. Things to remember. Canid: Forest in the night, Reveals to her its secrets, Old life in the new. Peredhil: Tainted elegance, The low entwined with the high, And very classy. Arawn: A floating castle, Science, as magic itself. Gyrfalcon's bane. The Big Pointy One: Watching intently, Pestering for a haiku, Laughing when it comes. Knight: Shimmering white sword, Cutting down the unholy; Flying with God's grace. Wyvern: Purveyor of booze. Willing to cheat to make geld. Almost a dragon. More to come, with hope, As they are revealed to me. You people are cool. Cerulean: Artful and tasteful, A mage with soul of sea blue And cerulean. Black: A budding author With grammatical errors Which are prevalent. RagingGoat: Lazy Old Grandpa, His every wink a satire; So grizzled, so wise. Maduin: Terra's reporter, Finding news for its own sake. Keep up the good work. Orlan: Terra's Best Player, Wielder of the Mighty Bone, Sexy, Sexy Man. Culex: Violent shapeshifter, Destroying all who mock him. But, why a spider? ~O~: Happy, bouncing mage. His spine shuffled by Wyvern, While imposting cards A special haiku for the person who made me decide to be a stripper. Scarlett O'Harpy: Watching as she grows; Her giant teeth inspiring One to strip for free. FenrirVallin: Exceptional Red, Beating up on the Verdants. The wolf; Mod of Doom. Jerry: A little-known mage, Showing up at the party With gifts in his hands. Mystikal: Short, but sweet, poem; Filling me with wondering. Master of Free-verse.

Finnius Veteran Posts: 408 Registered: Mar 2001 posted March 27, 2001 02:43 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dragons overhead, Bombing my castle non-stop. Oh, when will it end? Reincarnation. Why is it such a long word? Taking my first line. Haikus should not rhyme, But I do it all the time. That was so stupid. Blossoming flowers. The moon reflects a river. Stillness in my heart. I write my haikus. I have no purpose in this. So what is the point? ------------------ Sunrise comes quickly, Illuminating the world. How to express this? Just now I lost land. It will take time to rebuild. Better get to work. Squirrels, frogs, and sheep, Rushing over a low hill. They will be here soon. Sun sets in the west, Crimson lining touches Clouds, The Moon shines brightly. --------------------- quote: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Originally posted by peredhil31: Black Adder watcher?!? Nekkid Magess...sigh...supreme! Sweet Hentai Haiku. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- After reading this: I rolled on the floor in mirth, Laughing my a$$ off.

Finnius Veteran Posts: 408 Registered: Mar 2001 posted April 23, 2001 03:53 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- OOC: My funeral, in line with the Will. All are welcome to speak, but keep it short. I want some pie! BIC: Many mages are gathered, most dressed in neon-day-glo-fuschia, but some in black, and some trying not to be in Black. In front of a podium in the surgical ward of the Terran National Hospital, an open casket reveals a small blue man. And I do mean reveals. As the organist pumps out the saddest rendering of Disco Inferno ever, one mage stands and takes the podium. The mage begins to speak, giving the eulogy, and this is what said mage says: IP: Logged Knight Veteran Posts: 937 Registered: Jan 2001 posted April 23, 2001 04:17 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Finnius. Finnius. Craziest Summanabotch I ever knew. Good guy though. Funny. Kinda smart. Blue. Very blue. Very blue and exposed. Very blue, very exposed, and very.. oh man.. that's just WRONG." ------------------ Initiate - Mages of Forgetten Wars- Blitz II Blood Warrior of Souls- Army of Darkness Stupidity is killer. Ich hatte einen Kameraden; einen besseren findest du nicht - Once I had a comrade; a better one you could not find. Vice president of the official Mr. Bunny Fan club "..." - Mr. Bunny Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong, and at the worst possible time. "Duty, Honor, Country. Those three hallowed words reverently dictate what you ought to be, what you can be, what you will be..." -General Douglas MacArthur IP: Logged Lord of the Gay Veteran Posts: 599 Registered: Jun 2000 posted April 23, 2001 09:56 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Lord Walks in Feed Corpse Pie while he Naked Feed pets & animals in the coffin before buried alive Here Finnis Your Pie, Ready Rest In peace. (Do i get it right??? I really did try ) ------------------ I'm not prejudice. I hate everyone equally. "You can hate me cuz I am differnt,but you really hate me cuz I am not like you." Beauty is only skin deep, but ugliness goes right thru the bone. "You can't tell me what to do! You are not the Voices!" "I'm not Smiling, I'm Frowning Up-Side Down =)" IP: Logged Gyrfalcon Moderator Posts: 1401 Registered: Mar 2000 posted April 23, 2001 10:11 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Hear! Hear!" Gyrfalcon shouts from the croud at the end of Knights speech, while trying to avoid steping in/through Black, who is currently being mist to add some ambience. IP: Logged Tiax Veteran Posts: 636 Registered: Sep 2000 posted April 24, 2001 12:47 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What I want to know is, who will organize Armageddon Bowl now? IP: Logged Finnius Veteran Posts: 408 Registered: Mar 2001 posted April 24, 2001 07:04 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Oh nuts. I knew that I forgot something. Ummm... The AB2K1 will go to... uhhh... geez, just leave me alone. Let me rest in peace. IP: Logged peredhil31 Veteran Posts: 880 Registered: May 2000 posted April 24, 2001 09:56 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Alas Finnius, I knew him, Horatio Master of Haiku. Peredhil removes the flowerpot from his head, letting his hair blow freely in the breeze from the giant speakers. The music switches to Metallica's Enter the Sandman song But let us not cry Rather, celebrate good times! Finnius is better Peredhil adjusts his neon-green swim fins. The music switches to Justin Hayword Forever Autumn song Better now I say! Better get a bucket folks I'm gonna need one. Peredhil unbuttons his tuxedo jacket with one hand while adjusting his lederhosen with the other. The music switches to Thus Sprach Zarathustra He will be sorely - sorely missed frequently now Patron of Haiku. The music switches to Rick Deese's Disco Duck. "Let me get you a towel," someone snickers behind Peredhil, but Peredhil presses onward! We cannot continue We needs must resurrect him - Resurrect him now! The crowd, seeing Peredhil is serious (Sirius? (the Dog Star?), drag him away. ------------------ Elrond Peredhil, 31 Bard of Terra Saint of Terra The Pen is Mightier than the Sword-BH Seekers of Babylon, Order of Scholars-BG A Polite Mage ~Searching for Quality, not Quantity, in posting~ ~Member of Nekkid Mages #1 Fanclub and Worshippers~ Official Member of the Mr. Bunny Fan Club IP: Logged Finnius Veteran Posts: 408 Registered: Mar 2001 posted April 24, 2001 10:00 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Peredhil, I am touched. As I am starting to think you are... Please, leave me dead, at least until the pie. I will want some! IP: Logged Scarlett O'Harpy Veteran Posts: 101 Registered: Jun 2000 posted May 28, 2001 04:57 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- *Making notes* ------------------ Scarlett O'Harpy The two phases of fire are craving and satiety

Finnius Veteran Posts: 408 Registered: Mar 2001 posted April 22, 2001 04:16 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Written April 22, 2001... a Sunday, I think I, Finnius, being of sound body, do hereby decree, upon my death, decapitation, mutilation, or dismemberment, that the following will should be followed IN ITS ENTIRETY. To Cerulean; or failing that, a circus monkey that resembles a mango, or is named "Mango," I leave a wedge of plexi-glass. To Wyvern; I leave two (2) pair rubber gloves and a proctology manual, to be used as he sees fit. To Mr. Hydrus Hydrobear; I leave the much-fabled ReChanter of Bottomless Fuses, in hopes that you can find a use for it. To Gyrfalcon; I leave the decaying corpses of Story Board Mods 1-27. I extend my sincerest apologies for keeping them so long. To All Multi-Mages Currently Residing in Terra; I leave this piece of advice: Run! The Administration Office knows your names, addresses, and non-existant multiple personalities! They are coming after you! Go now! To Orlan; I leave all the toiletries I have stolen from your personal bathroom over the years, with the exception of a box of tampons marked "For personal use." You have to explain that one, bub. To All Undead who entertain thoughts of attending my funeral; I leave "the Curse of the Great God and Pharoah Nanotoknonnen." (Wave hands ominously.) I hope this videocassette will be enough to bribe you away, you soulless monsters. To my Split-personality; I leave all of my monetary posessions. Should he be unavailable, I leave said possessions to any penguins residing in the Terran Zoo. To the Terran Doctors' Association; I leave my skin, in hopes that you will find out why it is blue. On second thought, I leave it to the worms, who will devour it. To Black, or failing that, Tamoranis; I leave two cloves of garlic and a wooden stake. To whomever delivered my eulogy; I leave a pat on the back. It would not, however, have killed you to praise me as the "finest mage ever to to grace our pitiful souls with his perfect perfection of perfectness." To Arawn; I leave a slide rule and an abacus. Upon my death, you will be the last living person who knows how to use them. To Peredhil; I leave my express wishes that, after my death, your cult should consider me for godhood. To Culex; I leave an H-Bomb with a three minute timer. I figure that you'll know what to do with it. To Canid; I leave the severed heads of 13 Newbies, in the hope that this will abate your hunger for human flesh and paper. Specifcally the paper. If I should be romantically attatched to anyone at the time of my death; I leave said person my heart. Also, my arteries, pancreas, and adrenal glands. --------------------------------------------- Directions for my Funeral: 1) My funeral should be held at the Terran National Hospital, as I have been promised admittance "over my dead body." 2) I wish to be buried in the nude. 3) Anyone who cries at my funeral should be thrown into the grave and stoned, immediately following the procession. 4) My obituary should read as follows: "Finnius, (Age), is dead. Get over it. 5) My epitaph should read: "I'm gettin' hungry, so would you please/ In lieu of flowers, just leave cheese?" 6) All attending my funeral should dress in neon-day-glo-fuschia jumpsuits. The organist should be prepared to play "Disco Inferno." Any pets in my care should be buried with me, along with clothes, jewelry, and children. 9) My pallbearers should throw themselves into my grave, and procede to bury themselves. --------------------------------------------- [This message has been edited by Finnius (edited April 22, 2001).] IP: Logged peredhil31 Veteran Posts: 880 Registered: May 2000 posted April 22, 2001 04:55 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Laugh out loud (myself), The funeral directions For the haiku Saint. (see the GA BH) ------------------ Elrond Peredhil, 31 Bard of Terra The Pen is Mightier than the Sword-BH Seekers of Babylon, Order of Scholars-BG A Polite Mage ~Searching for Quality, not Quantity, in posting~ ~Member of Nekkid Mages #1 Fanclub and Worshippers~ Official Member of the Mr. Bunny Fan Club IP: Logged Wyvern Veteran Posts: 732 Registered: Jul 2000 posted April 22, 2001 04:59 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Wyvern quickly plots of ways to kill Finnius in order to obtain a free pair of rubber gloves and a proctology manual... if only he knew what that was.. Just kidding. GREAT post! ------------------ Wyvern ...almost a dragon. Proud Owner of the Decanter of Endless Booze. Diplomat and representitive of Succubi or Bust (S.o.-BG Unofficial member of the Mr. Bunny fan club. "GIVE ME A CARROT GODDAMMIT!" -Mr. Bunny IP: Logged Canid Veteran Posts: 587 Registered: Sep 2000 posted April 22, 2001 06:06 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What hunger for paper? And how would the heads of thirteen newbies cure me of it???? IP: Logged Finnius Veteran Posts: 408 Registered: Mar 2001 posted April 22, 2001 06:53 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Canid, I have no idea what I was thinking when I posted that. I kind of like it, though. BTW, I notice you said nothing about the hunger for human flesh... Is it true? Should we not feed the wolves? -Finnius, soon to be missing an arm. IP: Logged Canid Veteran Posts: 587 Registered: Sep 2000 posted April 22, 2001 07:05 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Well, it isn't my favorite meat, but herbivor/omnivor(vegans are better though) meat is all the same to me, I don't mind. Still, why not feed the wolves even then? IP: Logged Gyrfalcon Moderator Posts: 1401 Registered: Mar 2000 posted April 22, 2001 09:37 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- theres a reason I go dressed in full plate.... so much harder to gnaw on me then. And in between the wolves, cannibals and crazies, you need all the protection you can get. The heads of the previous mods! How thoughtful *grabs one by the ears and yells at it* AND YOU LEFT ME WITH THIS? HOW DARE YOU?! I'LL RESURRECT YOUR CORPSE AND THEN I'LL KILL YOU! I'M A NERVOUS WRECK BECAUSE OF THESE PEOPLE! YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO TAKE CARE OF THEM! err..... disregard the last sentence. *forced grin* OOC: In case you can't tell, I've decided that this thread is for silliness. IP: Logged Black Veteran Posts: 1212 Registered: Mar 2001 posted April 23, 2001 12:58 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Using a small illusion he makes an apple look like garlic. Then floats by. "I wont be at your funeral. But this isnt your funeral is it." He says eating his garlic. "Mmmmmmmm, good garlic." He said as he flew off. [This message has been edited by Black (edited April 23, 2001).] IP: Logged Knight Veteran Posts: 937 Registered: Jan 2001 posted April 23, 2001 03:36 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- sidenote to Black: Garlic kills vampires in most myths. You know, there should be an addendum in that will somewhere for me finn. ------------------ Initiate - Mages of Forgetten Wars- Blitz II Blood Warrior of Souls- Army of Darkness Stupidity is killer. Ich hatte einen Kameraden; einen besseren findest du nicht - Once I had a comrade; a better one you could not find. Vice president of the official Mr. Bunny Fan club "..." - Mr. Bunny Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong, and at the worst possible time. "Duty, Honor, Country. Those three hallowed words reverently dictate what you ought to be, what you can be, what you will be..." -General Douglas MacArthur IP: Logged Finnius Veteran Posts: 408 Registered: Mar 2001 posted April 23, 2001 06:49 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Oh, don't worry Knight. This is my First Last Will. I'll make sure that you're in the next one. IP: Logged Tamaranis Veteran Posts: 822 Registered: Apr 2000 posted April 23, 2001 01:36 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- How come black's infront of me for the garlic and stake? ------------------ "one man can't make a real difference, but I'm not a man, I'm a mage," -Arawn Seeker of Babylon! Probably should have changed the ? to a ! a long time ago... IP: Logged Finnius Veteran Posts: 408 Registered: Mar 2001 posted April 23, 2001 01:48 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- To Knight, Canid, and Tam: You people are freaking vultures! The first thing you ask after I die is "How will this help me, Where's my cut, and Why wasn't I first?" I'm DEAD!! Now that that's been said; I'm glad to see that you liked it. IP: Logged Arawn Veteran Posts: 1169 Registered: Mar 2000 posted April 23, 2001 02:02 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Arawn bursts into the room, tears running from his eyes. "Alas poor, Finnus I knew her well!" Someone leans over and whispers into Arawn's ear. A look of suprise appears on his face. "Oh, sorry, I meant 'A lad poor Finnus......" The person leans over again and whispers into the Mad King's ear. Arawn turns as red as his words. "Are you sure?" The man leans over again, and whispers. "But I don't know a Finnius!" Arawn stands there for a moment thinking it over. He quickly dries his eyes "Nevermind that, where's my abacus!?" Arawn grabs it and runs off. OOC: Just kidding Fin,(Can I call you Fin? ) loved the post. IP: Logged Finnius Veteran Posts: 408 Registered: Mar 2001 posted April 23, 2001 02:09 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Arawn, you can call me whatever you want; with the following exceptions: Mr. Mustard Honey-san Springtime FreshMan Summanabotch Thank you for your time. IP: Logged Canid Veteran Posts: 587 Registered: Sep 2000 posted April 23, 2001 02:12 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- But, you haven't died yet! Have you? IP: Logged Black Veteran Posts: 1212 Registered: Mar 2001 posted April 23, 2001 02:30 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Knight, It was an apple...not garlic. It says so in the post. IP: Logged Zool Veteran Posts: 1799 Registered: Apr 2000 posted April 23, 2001 02:44 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A baby's arm, holding a garlic? ------------------ Zool Eradication Mage Bard of Terra Doing it because; I can. The Pen is Mightier than the Sword - BH, Elder. The BrotherHood of the Night - BG, Guilty by association. Wondering if he should join Sort of Bad (S.o.B.) - BG Unofficial member of the Mr. Bunny fan club. "Sizzle... " - Mr. Bunny IP: Logged Finnius Veteran Posts: 408 Registered: Mar 2001 posted April 23, 2001 02:52 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Ah, Canid, ever worried about my health... IP: Logged Knight Veteran Posts: 937 Registered: Jan 2001 posted April 23, 2001 02:52 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- My apologies Black. I misread your statement. ------------------ Initiate - Mages of Forgetten Wars- Blitz II Blood Warrior of Souls- Army of Darkness Stupidity is killer. Ich hatte einen Kameraden; einen besseren findest du nicht - Once I had a comrade; a better one you could not find. Vice president of the official Mr. Bunny Fan club "..." - Mr. Bunny Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong, and at the worst possible time. "Duty, Honor, Country. Those three hallowed words reverently dictate what you ought to be, what you can be, what you will be..." -General Douglas MacArthur IP: Logged Knight Veteran Posts: 937 Registered: Jan 2001 posted April 23, 2001 02:55 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Sumanabotch? that's a funny one, mein fruend. ------------------ Initiate - Mages of Forgetten Wars- Blitz II Blood Warrior of Souls- Army of Darkness Stupidity is killer. Ich hatte einen Kameraden; einen besseren findest du nicht - Once I had a comrade; a better one you could not find. Vice president of the official Mr. Bunny Fan club "..." - Mr. Bunny Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong, and at the worst possible time. "Duty, Honor, Country. Those three hallowed words reverently dictate what you ought to be, what you can be, what you will be..." -General Douglas MacArthur IP: Logged Finnius Veteran Posts: 408 Registered: Mar 2001 posted April 23, 2001 03:06 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Danke. Sprechts du was ich denchts? Seeing as I have not spoken German in quite a while, I have no idea if that was spelled correctly. I may just have embarrassed myself greatly. IP: Logged Canid Veteran Posts: 587 Registered: Sep 2000 posted April 23, 2001 03:21 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Of course I'm concerned about your health, I am a verdant mage. *Canid presents you with a pile of fresh fruit and veggies. IP: Logged Tamaranis Veteran Posts: 822 Registered: Apr 2000 posted April 23, 2001 03:41 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I wouldn't eat those if I were you, there's thirteen newbie heads riding on it for her... (I don't really need you dead, cause Black gets the stuff and not me) ------------------ "one man can't make a real difference, but I'm not a man, I'm a mage," -Arawn Seeker of Babylon! Probably should have changed the ? to a ! a long time ago... IP: Logged Knight Veteran Posts: 937 Registered: Jan 2001 posted April 23, 2001 03:53 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Finn, don't feel bad, my German is every bit as bad as yours. ------------------ Initiate - Mages of Forgetten Wars- Blitz II Blood Warrior of Souls- Army of Darkness Stupidity is killer. Ich hatte einen Kameraden; einen besseren findest du nicht - Once I had a comrade; a better one you could not find. Vice president of the official Mr. Bunny Fan club "..." - Mr. Bunny Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong, and at the worst possible time. "Duty, Honor, Country. Those three hallowed words reverently dictate what you ought to be, what you can be, what you will be..." -General Douglas MacArthur IP: Logged gwaihir Moderator Posts: 979 Registered: Jun 2000 posted April 23, 2001 05:21 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Tam, but maybe you want Black harmed (It is garlic and stakes, that he's being given after all)

Finnius posted May 02, 2001 01:11 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hi, my name is Finnius Mustardio Jalopini-Canard O'Harpy. A mouthful, I know, but it's true. Anyway, this is a little story about me and my friends. It's all true, but some names have been changed to protect the ignorant. Or something like that. I remember, way back in my school days, there was this group of guys that I used to hang out with. They were all pretty cool, and we did a lot of stuff together. Gyr was the local half-elf, a real ace. He was always shining his katana when we weren't doing anything else, and talking about how much he liked the warm weather. Later on, I heard that he got into trouble with the law. I never really believed it, but I met up with him recently, and it turns out it's true. Wyvern was this really quiet guy, but sometimes he'd get all excited about the strangest things. He was usually OK, but put two geld together, and he'd totally flip out. It was kind of sad, though, he had this skin problem. Made him look really scalely. No one ever said anything about it, and he didn't seem to mind, but still... RagingGoat was this really buff sports type. We all just called him RG for short, and he'd always laugh at it. Said it made him feel like an old man. He was the first one of us to get his liscense, and his parents bought him this sweet ride. It was a cherry red convertible, with enough room in the back for twelve. Man, I miss that car. Then there was Peredhil. He was a bit... obsessed. He'd have a new girlfriend every week, and he'd honestly say that he loved them all. Somehow, it seemed true, though. He was a great guy to hang out with, always quick with a joke. Now that I've told you about my friends, I can tell you my story. Hope you like it. Finnius posted May 02, 2001 01:31 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- It was in the autumn of our senior year, and we had somehow gotten tickets to go see the Legendary Orlan. We were all big fans, except for Wyv, but RG just whacked him in the back of the head and made him come along. Anyway, we were cruising along Terran Route 99 in RG's car, listening to the radio, when we saw this little guy sitting next to the road, with a sign saying "Orlan or Bust." Well, seeing as we were going in the same direction, and still had room in the back, we pulled up next to him. I waved him over, and Peredhil, sitting in the front with his girl of the week, asked him what his name was. He answered in a deep bass voice, although he looked to be about 16. "I'm Hydrus. Thanks for picking me up, guys; I've been sitting out there all day, and, man, was it hot." We in the back seat could tell just how long he'd been sitting there by his smell. Luckily, there was enough room to get downwind of him. Far downwind. Anyway, the rest of the trip was uneventful. The concert was great, though. Orlan rocked the house, and his dancers just plain rocked! After the show, we started to leave, but Hydrus ran up to the car and held out several slips of paper. "I wanted to thank you for giving me a ride, so I got you these. Hope you like 'em." He passed the things out, then trotted off to find a ride home. We sat there for a second looking at them in silence, then Gyrfalcon swallowed hard. "*gulp*... Guys... these are backstage passes! Why are we just sitting here?" Of course, now that the spell had been broken, we stopped "just sitting there." We ran for all we were worth, but Orlan was already gone. The only people left were the roaddies and a couple of dancers. RG hit it off with one of them, and even got her number. Celery Anne, or something like that. They made a cute couple, maybe they'd get together one day. Of course, the chances of that happening were slim, but it's nice to imagine. Well, that's all for now. I'll continue it some other time. -Finnius, Keeping it Groovy peredhil31 posted May 02, 2001 03:03 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- DUUUDE! Flips The Finster a High Sign and adjust his scarf and mirror shades. Those were the DAYZ, fer sure! Tell me more, I don't remember them for some reason... Nibbles alternately on a mushroom and an earlobe. She Who Must Not Be Named giggles. Peredhil starts staring at the wood grain in the paneling and seems lost again. Gyrfalcon posted May 02, 2001 06:54 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Ah yes, those were the days. I actually remember, but you always weave such great stories, Finnius, that I'll stick around and listen." Gyrfalcon said with a smile. Gyrfalcon sits in a chair in the corner, then takes out a cloth and shines his katana absently. Finnius posted May 02, 2001 06:57 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hey, guys, Finnius again. This is a story about how my skin got like it is. I tell ya, we had some good times back then... It was my sophomore year, just after I had met the guys. RG hadn't gotten his ride yet, but other than that, things were about the same. Pered was dating this Scarlett chick. She had some kinda reputation, too. Not really a good one, though. Her last two boyfriends didn't talk much anymore, just sat staring at the walls in gym class. Pered didn't like us badmouthing her, though, so we stayed quiet whenever she was around. I swear, that girl had the sharpest looking teeth... Anyway, it was all Wyv's fault, as usual. He had seen Ms. Tzimfemme cooing over this big muscled biker dude. He knew that I kind of had a crush on her at the time, but who didn't? So Wyv comes up to me, and he says, "Hey, Finn, why don't you get a tattoo? I hear that Ms. Tzimfemme digs them, man." Naturally, I replied with my usual scathing wit: "No freaking way. My body is staying ohw naturahlle." "Dude, you misspelled that." "What?" "Nevermind, just come with me." So I went with him, and sure enough, there she was, hand in hand with this tough looking guy in a leather jacket. His arms were about the size of my torso, he had hair in places that I still shudder to think about, but most of all, he had tattoos. He had tatts everywhere that I could see, and probably some that I couldn't. There was nothing for it, I had to get a tattoo. Two weeks later, me, Wyv, Peredhil, and RG snuck out to the bad part of town in the middle of the night. Gyr would of come too, but his parents caught him. Dufus. We looked all up and down for a tattoo shop, (This is before we realized that it was called a parlor.) and finally found one at about two in the morning. Wyv and I went in, RG and Pered stayed back to make sure no one came in. I tell ya, that was the dirtiest, smelliest, and scariest place I have ever been in. Thirty minutes later, I came out with this cool blue smiley face on my left arm. The next morning, Ms. Tzimfemme introduced us to Gunther, her brother, who just happened to be the president of Chunky Chicken Ale, Inc. He was also a motorcylce enthusiast. I chased Wyv down until we were both blue from exhaustion. Ms. Tzimfemme broke us up, and commented on how good the color suited me. So, I went back to the tattoo parlor and got it done. Man, did it hurt, but it was worth it. I was so gonna score. To wrap things up, not only did I not score, I got grounded for three months. -Finnius, The Disco King Finnius posted May 03, 2001 07:29 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Well, here's one more for old times' sake. This one is a story about how some of us never graduated, how Wyv met his first true love, and how I became addicted to haikus. Hope you enjoy! Part 1 I guess it all started a lot before this, but this is where memory starts. I'll try to fill in the gaps as I go along, but it's been a long time. Anyway, we were all sitting in Biology class. Mr. Toknonnen was going on about how cockroaches would outlast humans. We used to make fun of Mr. Toknonnen behind his back. Seriously, the way that guy went through Ace Bandages, he must of been some kinda clutz. Well, we were all sitting there when, out of the blue, Wyv gets this glassy look in his eyes and stands up. He started talking in this weird voice, and everyone laughed at him. "Only nothing can save us. Ever nothing, always nothing, nothing and nothing alone. The master is coming, and with him, the end!" At that point, Mr. Toknonnen called up to the office. Wyv got detention for a week, but it was worth it. Seriously, half the class freaked out, except for the O'Harpy girl. Nothing scared her. What we didn't know at the time was that Wyv hadn't realized what he was saying. Of course, he took credit afterwards, he always did. That was during the first semester of our Senior year, just before we went to see Orlan. During the second semester, we got a foreign exchange student. Her name was Minta, and Wyv totally went nuts over her. I never really saw the atraction, myself. She was small, almost scrawny, and she was hyper. One of those valley girl types that never stopped talking. "OhmahgodWyv, Ijustrealizedthatit'sTuesday! Isn'tthatweird, Imean, notrememberingwhatday itis?" I swear, that is exactly what she sounded like. But hey, love is blind. Anyway, from then right up to graduation, she and Wyv were inseperable. It got fairly annoying, too. And then came the day when all the Seniors got called into the gym for a "special announcement." We all knew what it was, they were gonna talk at us for a while, try and tell us how important the whole graduation ceremony was, the whole spiel. Then they would take our geld and hand out the caps and gowns. As it turned out, we were all wrong. Principal Lumpenproletariat somberly walked up to the podium, looked at us all for a while, then spoke. "Kids, I know how important the graduation ceremony is to you." Snickering could be heard from the corners. "But... There isn't going to be one this year." We all froze. This wasn't how things were supposed to go. The Lump loved graduation; he practically lived for it. Heck, I'm not even sure about that practically. "This may come as a shock to some of you, but Mr. Toknonnen is dead. He was found last night, choked in Ace Bandages. Now, without saying anything definite, the police think there may have been foul play involved." He was right. That was a shock. I mean, he had been kind of a prude, but Mr. Toknonnen was a nice prude. And to think that someone had deliberately... When Principal Lumpen spoke again, it was with a distinct cracking in his voice. No one really blamed him, some of us were tearing up too, and we'd just been his students. Lump had worked with him for a long time. "Umm... kids... this is something that we should take the time to talk about. If any of you have any questions, please... feel free to come to me, or your counselors." After that, we were dismissed. --------------------------------------------- End of Part 1 Canid posted May 03, 2001 08:09 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The wolf sits quietly by the fireplace in the room, listening attentively to the past of her fellow mages. Knight posted May 03, 2001 01:37 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Knight sits down, next to Finnius.. "Dude.. don't tell me you forgot me.. I was that one real quiet dude, the one that always was hanging out with Peredhil.." ------------------ Finnius posted May 03, 2001 02:04 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- OOC: Odd you should say that, Canid. You have a part in this too, y'know. With that cryptic message, I give to you: Graduation Story, Part 2 It was the last week of our Senior year. A stepping stone, I guess, but it didn't really seem that way. Our lives hadn't changed all that much, aside from Pered's weekly girlfriends. Wyv and Minta still seemed inseperable, RG was still dating that Celery chick, Gyr had taken up fencing, of all things, and me... I had learned to write. Most of my stuff was hackneyed, stale, and grammatically horrible, but it was just a hobby, so I didn't much care. In hindsight, I guess things really had changed. We just didn't see it at the time. Like I said, it was the last week and all. Graduation had been called off because of Mr. Toknonnen's death, although I didn't think that made much sense. I mean, it was tragic and all, but why stop graduation? The slow must throw prawn, or something like that. As it turned out, I wasn't the only one who thought so. Upon hearing Principal Lump's announcement, the superintedant stormed down to give him a piece of her mind. Wyv was in his office again, for setting the TP in the boys' room on fire. Again. "Well, hello, Francine, to what do I owe the pleasure?" "Don't 'Francine' me, you know perfectly well why I'm here. Who do you think you are, cancelling graduation?" "Mr. Wyvern, you are dismissed. We'll continue this conversation later." Wyv left the room, but he stayed outside the door, with one ear to the wall. He had a bit of an evesdropping problem back then. From what I hear, he hasn't gotten rid of it. Principal Lump continued. "*sigh... All right, Superintendant Canid. What's this all about?" "Mr. Lumpenproletariat, graduation is one of the educational system's most revered traditions. It will go on, despite your personal feelings. I'm sorry for your loss, but that is final." "I didn't really want this out in the open, Francine, but here." Wyv worked up the guts to peak in the door. Principal Lump pulled a large brown envelope out of his desk and handed it to Superintendant Canid. She opened it, then looked at the papers inside for several moments. "The parents have a right to know this, Lumpen. My God... if this gets out, you could go to prison." "I know. I know..." Wyv freaked out and ran away right about then. If he hadn't, we might actually have known what those papers were. We didn't think much of it at the time, besides conjecturing what The Lump could've done that would get him sent to prison. We had a lot of crazy ideas, none of them right. That was just a small part of the week, though. Gyr, as I said, had taken up fencing. He was totally into it, and he was pretty good. At the Inter-school Finals, which were held on that Tuesday, he took second place. Later on, he said that he could've gotten first, but felt sorry for his opponent. Having seen the match, I can testify that he told the truth. Gyr could've whipped that guy eight ways from Sunday. RG was the one of us that went through the most that week. He'd been dating the dancer girl for a while now, and they seemed to be doing all right. One night, me, Pered, and Gyr saw them out on a double with Minta and Wyv. The dancer chick was kind of rolling her eyes at RG like she wanted to kiss him, but RG was too busy whacking Wyv in the back of the head. He seemd to do that a lot lately; maybe it was his way of dealing with Mr. Toknonnen's death. Then again, he'd whacked Wyvern in the back of the head for as long as I'd known him. After waiting for a few minutes, Celery Anne just took the initiative. She grabbed RG by the ears, pulled him down, and kissed him full-on. Pered said he saw some tongue, but we all knew how Pered liked to exagerate. Well, RG just got this dreamy look on his face, like he was half dead. Two days later, they broke up. The where, why, and how of it will be in the next part. For now, I remain, -Finnius, Knight in White Satin Canid posted May 03, 2001 09:31 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Now hold on just one moment!" the wolf says heatedly. "I am a quirky creature and one thing I just can not stand is people messing up names! Especially mine!" Canid looks at Finnius, again resuming her gentle and dignified pose and behaviour that he is accustomed to seeing. "I do not blame you, but to set the records straight, my full name is Canid Phoenix Canidae; Wyvern must have heard Lump-Head call me Phoenix." Canid smiles happily and pricks her ears ready to hear more of the blue mages' recount. OOC: Just so you know, the name was not something I made up on the spot, I decided on it weeks back. I have used it in e-mail contacts to a few of my fellow players. Also, I am quirky about names in real life too! Wyvern posted May 04, 2001 02:58 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I'm HOOKED! Of course... I had to get stuck with the hyper-active highschool Minta. That's life, I suppose... Eagerly awaiting the continuation. ----------------- peredhil31 posted May 04, 2001 04:33 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- quote: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Originally posted by Wyvern: The Pen isn't Mightier then the Sword... but is certainly easier to carry... -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Mildly clears throat Excuse me. Do we need to Duel? Prepares to take it outside to another thread, where other Pen members can join in holding down Wyvern and thrash-strike that! can join in and assist in correcting the misguided Wyvern. Finnius posted May 04, 2001 08:13 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Breaking the story-telling for a brief moment, the blue mage takes a sip of scotch. "Of course, Canid. My memory after all these years is a bit rusty. Please forgive. As for you two, if RG doesn't show up soon, I'll whack you in the back of the head. No fighting. And, now, back to the story." Graduation Story, Part 3 As promised, I'll start off by telling you about RG's break-up. Let me give you a bit of information on the time-line, so that no one gets confused. Especially me. Wyv had seen S.I. Canid talk to The Lump on Wednesday. Gyr's fencing match had taken place on Tuesday, and we had seen RG's double date, also on Tuesday. With that in mind, let's skip to Thursday, which is when the break-up happened. From this point, I'll be telling you what I heard from RG, about a week after the fact. *** Me and Cerulean were hanging out at Gyr's house. Specifically, in his basement, which is where he lived. It was cool in the summer, warm in the winter, and he had it all to himself. Gyr himself was over in the corner, practicing his fencing. Oddly enough, he was practicing with that katana of his. It didn't really suit the style, but who was I to say? RagingGoat, that's who. "Hey, Gyr, what's up with that? You don't fence with katanas." "Ah, leave him alone, baby. Let him try it." That was Cerulean, my best girl. She was always looking out for me, pulling my foot out of my mouth. "Yeah, RG. I think it might work out." And that was Gyrfalcon. Who, at that moment, was smirking widely. Little did he know, he was about to get whacked. I got up and walked over to him. "Hey Gyr, can I see that katana for a sec?" "Sure, RG. Just be careful." It was a nice sword, really. Good balance, just enough room on the hilt. I swung it expirementally, then whacked Gyr on the arm with the flat of it. "Oowwww..." Cerulean playfully stormed up, over to me, and tore the katana away from me. "How do you think you'd like that, huh?" She danced back and forth with the katana, just barely keeping it away from Gyr. Then she went to whack me. The next few things happened in slow motion. If you've ever broken a bone, you know what I mean. As she stepped forward to thwack my arm, a small animal resembling a mouse ran across her toes. She shrieked and tried to recoil, but the inertia was too much. The mouse then darted across my toes and I reacted in a fairly similar way. I have no idea why, it just seemed like the right thing to do. The combined result was that we came together, with the sword between us. Gyr stood there for a second, dumbstruck. So did me and Cerulean. It was a miracle, but I hadn't been hurt. As we pulled apart, I noticed two things. First off, there was blood all over Cery's new skirt. Second, the sword wasn't in her hands, it was in my lung. Guess there hadn't been a miracle. It took me approximately three seconds to pass out. End of RG's Monologue *** The guys all gathered to go see RG in the hospital. Gyr kept dry-washing his hands and saying that he was never going to touch that sword again. Wyv and I played blackjack in the waiting room. He seemed to win an awful lot. Peredhil showed up as soon as he heard from Celery, who was the only one who thought to call him. After several hours of intense waiting, an attendant came out and said that one of us could go in to see him. Of course, we all elected the dancer, as she was his girlfriend, and very nearly his killer. She stepped into the room for a few seconds, then ran out crying. We didn't see her again for a while, outside of Orlan's stage show. That only left the four of us. We were all pretty worried, and all wanted to go in. There was only one fair way. "Wyv, cut the deck." Whoever cut highest would go in. Wyv cut a four. Next was Pered, who pulled a ten. Gyr fitfuly cut the deck, producing a seven. He almost seemed relieved. Well, that just left me. I pulled from the bottom, and came up with a joker. "Wyv, why weren't these out of the deck? We were playing blackjack!" Wyv just shrugged and motioned for me to cut again. Putting all thoughts of how he probably cheated out of mind, I cut again. Ten. OK, so Pered and I were tied. One more try. I cut the deck, but couldn't bear to look. I just held out the card and waited for the response. It came from Peredhil. "Man, that's harsh. I really wanted to go in, too." He snatched the card away from me before I could look at it, then shoo'ed me into RG's room. The door opened, I went in. It looked pretty bad; RG was hooked up to some kind of machine, there were tubes coming out of everywhere. This wasn't right. RG was the tough guy, he couldn't get hurt. We all took our turns, going in to see him. We stayed all night. At about four a.m. on Friday morning, he woke up. He just barely opened one eye, then spoke in about the softest voice I've ever heard. "Finn... s'at you?" "Yeah, RG, yeah. It's me." "Tell Cery... I'm sorry... about her skirt." End of Part 3 -Finnius, Rocking like a Hurricane Wyvern posted May 04, 2001 01:50 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Oh wow... how tragic! A sudden saddening twist to the story... let's just hope that Ceruleans shirt gets better... (somebody whispers something to Wyv) ...and Raging Goat too! Note to Peredhil: Sorry about that... I was accepted into The Pen is Mightier, but simply HATE conceding to social norms. ------------------ Gyrfalcon posted May 04, 2001 05:10 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- OOC: Just remember I use a katana, so I'll eventually have to go back to using one. I like this thread a lot. Black posted May 04, 2001 09:54 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Black came in the back and sat down without much sound. Finnius posted May 05, 2001 09:12 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- OOC: Yeah, that's one of the things I like about this thread. We all know how the characters end up. If RG had died from that lung-stab, I wouldn't be waiting for him to show up and whack Pered and Wyv in the back of the head. Don't worry, Gyr, I've got the katana all figured out. I think you'll like it. And now, without further rambling, Graduation Story, The End RG woke up on Friday morning. He'd made it through the most dangerous period and was starting to look better. The docs suggested that we went home and got some sleep; we didn't put up much resistance. After all, graduation was this evening. The S.I. had made the announcement on Thursday, before school had let out. So it was, that with baited breath as to RG's health, hesitations about leaving the comfort of high-school life, and general stayed-up-all-night tiredness, we went back to our places of dwelling. As for myself, I didn't even make it to the bed. I just curled up on the couch and slept. At about ten in the morning, I woke with a start. For one thing, I had been having a pretty bad dream about Wyv going crazy during graduation. For another thing, I was two hours late for the last day of school. I rushed through a shower and headed out the door, only to find Pered and Wyv waiting at my doorstep. Pered took out a wad of geld and grumblingly handed it to Wyvern. "Told you he'd be out by noon." "Why'd you have to pick today, of all days, to get up early." Pered kicked at the ground non-commitally. The little blue mage that was me was greatly confused. "Two questions: Why are you waiting out here, and why are you betting on my sleeping habits?" Wyv answered the first, Pered, the second. "Me and Peredhil have a plan. We're gonna get RG to graduation. We wanted your help, so here we are." "Also, we needed a way to pass the time. Now, c'mon. We still need to round up Gyr." The two filled me in on their plan on the way to the half-elf fencer's house. It was simple, really. Distract the docs, grab RG's bed, and run like The Lump was at your heels. The rest would be made up on the fly. "Wait, wait, wait. That's it? No more planning? Just grab him and run. What if we can't distract his doctors, what if his parents are visiting him, what if-" Pered broke me off here by saying the second most profound thing I had ever heard cross his lips. "Too much planning leads to failure. You can't plan for every unforseen event, because the moment you do, you create another event: What if I missed something? How do you plan for that?" The first most profound thing, by the way, was "Finn, you'll never understand women, so don't try. It'll just give you a headache. Besides, they're just as afraid of you as you are of them." The first part was true enough, but the second... I don't think so. Anyway, at about that point we arrived at Gyr's place. He was already gone. Oops. Applying Pered's "don't plan for everything" stratagem to the problem soon yielded a solution. I would go get Gyr, while the other two would go to the hospital. They would get RG out of his room, by which time I would supposedly have Gyr and be on my way. We would make the rest up after that. Oddly enough, that's almost exactly how things turned out. I ran to the school, found Gyr in the cafeteria, and slipped out without anyone noticing. We then made our way over to RG's house, where Gyr hotwired the big man's car. I hadn't known he could do that... A short drive later, we picked up Pered, Gyr, and a very excited, if not-too-mobile, RG. RG promptly demanded to know how we had gotten his car without his keys. When Gyr told him, we all cringed back. RG was known for his temper, especially with that car. I estimated Gyr's life-span at about three seconds. Instead, RG just chuckled. "I didn't know you could do that." Deja vu! The rest of the day was spent finding suitable caps and gowns, kicking back at the local burger joint, and making jokes about "One-lung RG." At about eight p.m., we headed out. Time for the show. We arrived just in time to blend in with the crowd of graduating Seniors. A few of them recognized RG, but a quick thump in the noggin kept them quiet. The band started playing, trumpets fanfaring the opening chords to Pomp and Circumstance. That was the cue, apparently, for all hell to break loose. End of Part 1 of The End -Finnius, Leaving Them Wanting More The Big Pointy One posted May 05, 2001 11:56 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Very good... very interesting... Belizean posted May 06, 2001 02:03 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- So far this has been very well written Finnius. Well done. Finnius posted May 07, 2001 09:06 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- No comments here, just: The Last Graduation Story Let me set you up before I explain what happened. Wyv and Minta were making eyes at each other, Minta in actual silence. I guess that should of warned me. Pered, Gyr, and RG were seated with the other Seniors. I was leaning against the wall, not really wanting to sit or stand, so doing both. It was at about this point that we come to the band playing, and the trumpets signalling Pomp and Circumstance. And now that you're all set up, here it is. Wyv, upon hearing the music, shot up out of his seat. He got that same glassy look in his eyes, like when he'd scared everyone waaaay back in Part 1. "The master is here! Time to DIE!" At that point, he collapsed. Minta caught him and started saying "ohmagodohmagodohma-" Well, you get the idea. RG, who was sitting on his other side, stood up to help him, but he did it too fast. The stitches over his lung tore, and we could all see the blood through his gown. That was saying something, because we wore black gowns. Down went RG. Pered and Gyr, of course, kept their heads. They rushed out to the pay-phones and called an ambulance, then came back inside and began to panic with the rest of us. Up on stage, The Lump was wearing a grim mask of resignation. Almost like he knew this was going to happen. He tapped the mic and tried to get us to calm down, all to no avail. It was at this point that something happened to me. I don't really know how, or why, but I started singing. Whatever the song was, it fit in well with the band, who looked to be playing against their will. For a moment, there was silence, save the music. Then a harsh minor chord, followed by a cracking sound under the floor. The wood and stone started to buckle, as if something was breaking through. Students and teachers alike fled from the building, with a few exceptions. I seemed unable to run in terror, which is really what I wanted to do, so I did the next best thing. Without going into too much detail, let's just say I would have to change my pants afterwards. The Lump, still on stage, didn't move an inch. He scowled, he grumbled, he even said a few words that were strictly prohibitted, but he didn't move. RG, still on the floor, got ignored in the general rush. Pered and Gyr, of course, stayed with him, unable to lift him without hurting and possibly killing him. Wyv was still down, and Minta with him. The band had been able to run, except for the trumpets. They kept on playing; a fanfare in D minor. From the looks of it, they had taken the same drastic actions that I had in the face of absolute terror. The floor gave one last shudder, then exploded outwards. Oddly enough, Mr. Toknonnen stood in the hole, wrapped in Ace bandages. He didn't look happy to be alive. When he spoke, it was in the same voice Wyv had used earlier. "I have come. I am here. I have arrived at the current place and time, relative to those around me. The here that is now, and the place that is this now holds the contents of my physicality and spirituality." Addressing The Lump, he posed a question. "Know you what that means, mortal?" Lump spoke back, with possibly the coolest thing he had ever said in my prescence. "That you're repetitve?" Mr. Toknonnen didn't seem to find that as cool as I had. "No, impudent whelp. The Great God and Pharaoh Nanotoknonnen has deemed this plane of existence unfit for continued habitation. Destruction will take place after the blood-sacrifice." Mr. Toknonnen, now identified as a trans-dimensional god, shambled towards the prone form of RG. Pered tried to stop him, with about as much success as a moth stepping in front of a flying whale. Mr. Toknonnen swiped him out of his way, with a sound of breaking ribs. Pered crumpled in the corner. Wyv, now conscious, was next in the line. He stood bravely in the path of the dark god, but met the same fate as Pered had. The Lump moved, then. He stood in front of Nanotoknonnen and swept a sword out of his robes. It looked a lot like Gyr's katana. The two sized each other up. Toknonnen swept at Lump, who parried with the sword. Steel met flesh that rang like stone. This contiued for several moments, during which I was freed. The trumpets had stopped playing, and had fled for their lives. I, however, had something else to do. I rushed to RG and wedged my arm under his shoulder, throwing his around mine. "Sorry if this hurts, bud, but it's better than being sacrificed." The Lump missed a stroke, and went down. The sword flew through the air, landing in front of Gyr. The half-elf grimly picked up the weapon and advanced. He half-turned his head towards me and spoke quickly. "Get him out of here, Finn. I'll hold off SuperMummy here, for as long as I can." With a nod and a tear, I left him. I managed to get RG back to the hospital in time for the docs to help him, then ran back to the school. If there was any way I could save Gyr, I'd do it. What met my eyes was not exactly what I'd suspected. Gyr sat tiredly with the katana by his side, Mr. Toknonnen was nowhere to be seen. Minta was cradling Wyv, although Pered seemed to be in worse shape. The Lump was motionless where he had fallen. "What happened, Gyr?" "I... don't exactly know. We went back and forth for a while, until I saw Wyv and Pered. I guess... that made me angry. After that, everything is a blur." Wyvern spoke up, excitedly. "Man, you went ballistic on him! He couldn't keep up with you, it was like wham, slash, stab, and he just ran back into that hole of his. Said he'd have to wait another twenty years, maybe you'd do the job for him. It was soooooo freaking cool!" I stood there dumbfounded for a moment. I mean, Gyr... he'd... wow. "Gyr, remind me never to make you mad." "Hehe.. never happen, man. I'm too laid back." The rest, as they say is history. The ambulances finally showed up, Pered and Wyv were taken to the infirmary, and Minta kind of disappeared. I heard that she'd had a daughter recently, also named Minta. Weird. After that, the guys kind of fell apart. Sure, we kept in touch for a while, but it was never like that again. Guess that's what time'll do to you. Anyway, that's why I never graduated. Hope you liked it. -Finnius, Working on his GED Belizean posted May 07, 2001 10:35 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Please don't end it there.... Gyrfalcon posted May 07, 2001 09:58 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I loved it! This is good, do more stories like this. They don't have to stick to the archmage timeline, after all. (I've never seen a car around my kingdom, have you? ) Finnius posted May 08, 2001 07:50 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I'm glad you liked it. Now, 'tis time for the credits: This story was inspired by an excellent site called Legend of the Hidden Chicken. I can't recall the url at this moment, but a websearch should find it. If you don't play L5R, you may not get all the in-jokes, but it's still incredible writing. With that out of the way: Of course there'll be more! That was just one story, albeit a fairly long one. So far, we've only seen part of the Senior year, and one instance of the sophomore. The next story, which I will post later today, deals with how the guys got together. -Finnius, Living in the Past Finnius posted May 09, 2001 09:01 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- OOC: Sorry about not posting this yesterday. Every time I went to write it, I got a huge brain-freeze. Stupid Writers' Block... Anyway, here it is. Hi, people. Yup, it's me. That last one was a bit lengthy, eh? I'll do my best to keep the next story short, so that I don't get an anuerism trying to keep the time-lines straight. This one is about a camping trip I took towards the end of my freshman year. There's some other stuff in there, but you'll see that when it happens. The Camping Trip Like I said, it was the end of my first year of high-school. I hadn't made many friends, mainly because I was a bit intimidated by the whole "high-school" thing. I mean, really, some of the people were, like, six feet tall. I even saw a few with facial hair! So I went camping. Getting outdoors, in touch with nature... by myself. Geez, I was a clutz. First off, I had to pack everything up. That should only have taken me about an hour, at most. Four hours later, I headed on. Then came the actual getting to the campsite. I lived near a large patch of woods, so that wasn't a big problem. I figured that I'd just hike around until I found a suitable place to bivwuac. Little did I know that I had misspelled that... I found my site in a matter of minutes, a cozy little glen, with a stream near-by. Yes, even as a Freshman in high-school, I used phrases like "cozy little glen." That could have contributed to the friendlessness as much as anything else, but I didn't think so. Still don't, really. By that time, it was getting dark. I built a fire and had some trail mix, then settled back to look at the stars. Settling back was about as far as I got, though, as a huge crashing noise came out of the underbrush and sprawled itself at my feet. "Pleeeeeaaase, help me. Gyr's after me with a sword, and I think he really means it this time!" I opened my mouth to answer, when a half-elf wielding a katana burst out of the same underbrush. The guy at my feet got up and ran off, and the half-elf, presumedly Gyr, followed him. There was silence for a couple of minutes, then a (And I'm not making this up.) loud thwacking sound. I supposed that I should go make sure no one was dead. Or at least get myself out of the fire-light, because if someone was dead, the killer wouldn't want any witnesses. I was a bit paranoid back then. I crept out of the camp, in the general direction of the sound. Oddly enough, I came up to another camp-site. Gyr and the other guy were shuffling their feet and looking at the ground, while a third person lectured them sternly. "Well what did you expect, Wyv? Gyr said not to take his muffin, and you went and did it. Naturally, he'd get angry. You know he has anger management... issues." The half-elf half-looked up, almost sheepishly. Almost. "I'm working on it, RG." "I know you are, Gyr. Wyvern just seems to have forgotten. Now what about that kid you scared?" Scared? Me? Well... maybe. I stepped out of the woods, and into the light. Bravely clearing my throat and dry-washing my hands, I adressed the group. "Umm... I'm ok. Really, I wasn't sacred a bit." From behind me another voice said, "No, but I'd bet you were bit scared. I would've been." I jumped, of course, ungracefully into RG's arms. I don't know why. Really. He dropped me to the ground, laughing. "Pered, you always did know how to make an entrance." "Umm...," I interjected, with masterful use of the word umm, "Are there any more of you? I'd just like to know, so that I can get my heart working again." RG pulled me up to my feet with one hand, and shook his head. "Nope, this is it. Let me introduce you. This is Wyv, Gyr, and Pered. I'm RG. And you are..." "Err... Finnius. Nice to meet you." "Nice to meet you, Finn." "Finn?" "Yeah, we all shorten our names. Makes typing a lot easier." "What?" "Nevermind." The guys chuckled knowingly. Maybe it was an in-joke. We spent the rest of the night sitting around the camp-fire telling stories. It was really cool, except for the occasional face-full of hot air when the wind changed. So that's how I met the guys. Umm... the end. -Finnius, Working on Getting Rid of the Ummmm's Finnius posted May 10, 2001 08:35 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- There's one last story to tell, before we go our seperate ways. Graduation, while it signalled an end, was also a beginning. It was from here that we all began our lives as adults, and stopped being children. Of course, by the time we had come to that point, we no longer thought of ourselves as any specific age-group. I guess that was a part of moving out of childhood, ironically. Anyway, if I keep ranting I'll never get this one out. Here goes; One for the Road We'd all split up. I guess it had to happen at some time, but it saddened me to see it come to pass. Wyv had moved away, RG and Pered had gone off to college, and Gyr had been accepted as an apprentice to some big-shot sword guy. As for myself, I was still wandering around, bouncing from job to job, writing my haikus. Somewhere along the line, I don't really know when, I got an offer. Someone from the Terrian Institute for Science had seen some of my stuff, and gotten interested. With nothing left to do, I packed up my stuff and headed to the TIS. The Institute was up in the mountains, a really nice place. There were plenty of woods, and a nice lake. All in all, it was a pair of dice. Or something like that. I'd never been too good at quotes. The staff was friendly, if a bit distant, and the room they gave me was nice enough. Still, though, I felt... lonely. I didn't notice it for a long time, mainly because the work was so interesting. As it turned out, my haikus had a sort of magical property. I didn't really see it, but the professors assured me it was there. Magic was no new thing, everyone had some. Most didn't know, or didn't care, how to use it, but it was there all the same. It had never really been a big factor in my life before now. So, I continued to turn out my little poems, and the prof's continued to analyze them. That went on for two years. It's amazing how those years flew by. Barely a thing do I remember of them. I guess there just wasn't that much to remember, what with the day-in, day-out sameness of it all. At the end of that second year, though, I met someone. His name was Bud. He was an old man, short, but spry. One of those people who never truly seem to lose the lustre of life. He'd moved up there, he said, because he was getting tired of seeing all these people going about their lives, but never really living them. At the time, I didn't realize that I was doing the exact same thing. Bud and I became friends quickly, despite the fact that we had a sizable age-difference. As it turned out, Bud was a musician. He'd played, at one time or another, every brass instrument known to man, and a few that weren't. I'd always wanted to learn how to play, and asked him to teach me. Bud thought it was a grand idea, and my next year was spent learning to play trumpet. There is something about music, not just hearing, but playing, that lights the soul on fire. Bud understood that more than anyone else I ever met. Your instrument was not just a piece of metal or wood, but a living thing, with a personality all its own. My trumpet, when I found the right one, was silver. That's the only word to describe it, really. Still, I had some problems playing it. The thing was the very spirit of me, but I hadn't yet learned how to express it. Bud was a harsh taskmaster, but he never pushed me past my limits. He knew when I was about to split a lip, just from the way I held the horn. By the end of that year, I could play. Something had been growing, though, in the back of my mind. It had come with the music, with the opening of my heart and soul to the sounds and feelings of a trumpet. I realized that I was lonely. I missed the guys, hadn't seen or talked to them in three years. Who knew what kind of changes had happened? So I slung my horn over my back, and headed out. -Finnius, Jazz-man Cerulean posted May 14, 2001 02:43 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Just bumping this thread back up to the top of the page, as a nudge to Finnius to provide the next brilliant chapter. This is wonderful writing, we need more! ------------------ Finnius posted May 14, 2001 06:08 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Thanks for the encouragement, Cery, and don't worry. The next installment is coming soon, but I don't want to post it before I'm happy with it. As I said, this is the last story arc, so I want it to be the best one. Be patient. Finnius posted May 16, 2001 08:44 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- One for the Road, Part 2: Wyvern I had started off to find the guys. Somehow, I had thought it would be a lot easier. I had the addresses, of course, but I didn't have the transportation. Being a student/science project at the TIS wasn't exactly a posh position. I hadn't thought to pack much by way of supplies, just my horn, a change of clothes, and my quickly-thinning wallet. And there I was, two weeks after setting out, with not a clue as to how I would actually find them. The closest was Wyv, who had moved off to the big city of Babylon. Babylon was still seventy-some-odd miles away, though, and I didn't have the cash for bus transit. It would be a long walk. Of course, it had already been two weeks, so I was more than half-way there. "In the home stretch," I liked to say to myself. It didn't make the flies any less swarming, or the sun any cooler, but it made me feel better all the same. And then I got to Babylon. The city kind of sprang up on you. One minute you were walking down the highway, the next, you were surrounded by buildings. And not the little mom & pop places that had infested my hometown, but huge skyscrapers, department stores that rambled for several of the gigantic city blocks. I had never seen so little of the sky before, despite all my tourist-like rubbernecking. The wonder soon wore off, as I realized that I had no idea where to find Wyvern. All he had given me was a street address and a phone number. The address was no use; I was hopelessly lost. The number, though... that might be some help. I surveyed the area, but to no avail. You would think a city this size would have a pay phone. After three and a half hours of wandering the streets, I found one. It was in a bad neighborhood, from the looks of the "art" slathered along its side. Well, I didn't plan to be here long. I stepped inside, and something squished beneath my right foot. Don't look down, just make the call. riiing... click "Hello, office of Mr. Wyvern, how may I help you?" Office? MR.? "Umm... I'd like to speak with errr... Mr. Wyvern." "Who may I say is calling?" "Tell him it's Finnius." Several seconds later, the phone beeped, and Wyv said "Hello." "Wyv, you've got to explain about this whole office thing, but not now. I'm on a pay phone in a bad neighborhood, and the sun's going down. Where are you?" "Finn? I'm at my office, on the corner of 34th and 78th. Come on up, I'll tell security to let you in." "34th? 78th? WHAT?! Wyv, I hate to say it, but I'm lost. How do I get there." Wyv chuckled for a moment. "Look around, what's the nearest street sign say?" "It says 'Treant Hill.'" "Man, that is a bad 'hood. Stay put, I'm sending someone out to pick you up. See you soon." "Bye." Wyv hung up, and I stepped out of the booth. Whatever had been on my shoe had apparently crawled away, which was for the best. I sat down on the curb and waited for Wyvern's ride. The moon was rising over the building-tops when it got there. It was a long black car, with shiny silver hub-caps. The driver stepped out and opened the back door, then bowed over his hand. He was tall and thin, dressed in a black and silver uniform that matched the car for gaudiness. I gathered my things and stepped inside. The driver walked back around to the front, and we were off. The car arrived at a large apartment building in an obviously swanky part of town. Wyv was there, standing by the curb. The driver got out and opened the back door, the same way that he had for me. "Thank you James," said Wyvern, handing him a large coin of geld. He stepped into the back, James walked around to the front, and the car once again took off. We sat in silence for a moment, contemplating each other. Wyvern had changed. He was a lot calmer now, more demure. He wore tailored suits, rode around in limos, and probably owned the office building that he worked in. I smelled like I'd been walking down the rode for two weeks. "Well...," I started. "Yeah...," he finished. That was quite possibly the most uncomfortable limo ride I had ever taken. It was also the first, and the last. We ate dinner at some little french restaurant, and I stayed the night in his guest room, which was roughly as large as the house I had grown up in. In the morning, I crept out without telling Wyv. I guess that should be Mr. Wyvern, though. It was nothing that he had said, or done; he had been an excellent host. But I felt that was all he was. A host. My friend Wyv had changed. So had I. So I left, I set out. -Finnius, Blues-man Finnius posted May 17, 2001 09:04 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- One for the Road, Part 3: RagingGoat After the whole Wyvern Incident, I felt a little down. I guess I should have been happy for him, but I didn't; not really. I don't know why. He'd gotten everything he'd ever wanted, I could only wish to be so lucky one day. Still... I left Babylon without looking back, and as the sun rose over my back, I felt my spirits rising. The next person on my list was RG, who had gone off to college. Knowing RG, it was probably a party school, with a great sports department. I'd never heard of the Atria School of Higher Education before, but I was sure they would have a nimball team. And by now, RG was probably leading it. I won't bore you with details of the trip, rather, I'll skip to the school itself. Atria was set in a completely natural area, surrounded by trees, gardens, and a constant cool breeze. There were winding paths that looked like they might be nice to explore, but I put that aside. I made a promise to myself to come back here later, though. For now, I stopped one of the many students I encountered and asked for directions to the student forum. The forum was a large open area where students could come to voice their opinions openly, without criticism. It was also a popular hangout for the upper classmen. Sure enough, I found RG there. He wasn't surrounded by friends, as I had thought he would be, but leaned up against a tree with his nose in a book. I approached him and started talking. "RG, how's it been? Thought you'd never see me again, eh? No such luck." He looked up at me for a moment, his jaw hanging open like a gutted fish. "Finn?! It's been what, two years?" "Three, actually." "Wow. So what have you been up to?" We talked for a while, catching up on the last few years. As it turned out, Atria didn't have a sports department, but a dance department. It also turned out that RG wasn't the leader of that, but the second. The first was Cerulean, who's name I had been allowed to mis-pronounce for nearly four years. Why? The guys thought it was funny. Guess that goes to show you who your real friends are, eh? I stuck around for a few weeks, playing my horn for change, learning to dance from RG, but mostly just feeling peaceful. Atria was such a nice place, I almost didn't want to leave. But after a while, I had to be moving on. The road was calling to me, as was the next name on my list. I bid RG and Cery a good-bye, slung my horn over my shoulder, and headed back out on the road. -Finnius, Sultan of Swing [Editted to make sense]

Finnius Veteran Posts: 408 Registered: Mar 2001 posted November 27, 2001 03:32 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Prologue Schild, an orphan, floats ashoar in Denmark. He soon rises to be a great king and, in a show of gut-churning nepotism, leaves his son Beo in charge. Beo follows in his father's footsteps, eventually passing on the family headwear to his own son, Healfdane. Healfdane continues the family tradition, and spawns the most popular dictator yet, Hrothgar. Hrothgar, having an unhealthy attatchment to fermented drink, orders the construction of Herot, a mead hall. The nightly partying in which attracts the attentions of... Grendel Grendel, fed up with his noisy Danish neighbors, decides to take action. He marches up to Herot, slips inside, kills thirty men, and drags them back to his swamp. The Danes fail to get the point. This goes on for twelve years, while the Danes try and understand a simple request to keep it down. Eventually, Beowulf hears of this and decides to help out the hapless Danes. He takes along 14 trained warriors. Overkill? Beowulf Beowulf and his small attack force land in Denmark, and quickly invade Herot shouting about their many victories over tall people and large, mostly docile, ocean-dwelling reptiles. Hrothgar dcides to let the commando vikings try and deal with Grendel. Beowulf's men clean out the mead hall's storerooms, then get slap-silly drunk. Naturally, they fall asleep smelling like pork chops drowned in cheap alchohol. Beowulf stays up past his bedtime. The Battle With Grendel The poor, misunderstood Grendel is once again woken up in the middle of the night by rowdy Danes, and ventures out of his peaceful wetland abode, smelling Beowulf's men. Mmmmmm... pork chops! He rushes for the mead hall, quietly opens the door, and looks around. Nothing but drunk Geats. Grendel is understandably angry and does the only natural thing he can think of: Picks up a Geat, bites him in half, drinks his blood, and crams him down his gullet. Turns out that Geats ain't bad eatin'! He grabs for another, who turns out to be Beowulf. Beowulf wakes up startled and latches onto the closest thing, Grendel's arm. Grendel tries to shake Beowulf off, but the inebriated viking weighs far too much. His great bulging beer-belly drags him to the floor, consequently tearing off Grendel's arm. Beowulf, being half-drunk and half-asleep, assumes that he has bested Grendel. The inbred Danes believe him. The End. ------------------ Finnius, Blues-man A Saint of Terra, The man with the rubber soul, Glib haiku writer. Nominal Leader of the App. No Description IP: Logged

Finnius Veteran Posts: 408 Registered: Mar 2001 posted May 30, 2001 07:41 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- OOC: This, as the name suggests, is the official propaganda machine, rumor mill, and lie factory for the conservatory. Have fun, but don't trust anyone! Except me, of course... BIC: First order of business is to lay out the power-structure: An insanely evil, yet dashingly handsome, blue-skinned mage, who shall remain nameless. And sooooo modest... The "little guy" fighting for his right to be the pope of paaaaaaaar-tahy's, also the head of the Official Mr. Bunny Fan Club: Wyvern! Gyrfalcon the Sensible, whom no one can find any literature on. A very calm wood-golem, going by the name *O*, or, "The Dinged Sphere." Second order of business, start hinting at things no right-minded person would care about: Headateline Terra: Gyrfalcon was seen talking with Rydia earlier in the week. When asked to comment, he whipped out his trademark tetsubo, and proceded to dance off into the sunset. Intercepted Letter from the Desk of Saint-maker Peredhil: While word of my "condition" should not be spread too widely, I would like you to inform the following people that I will be attending the maternity-ward funeral of a dear friend. One who is very, very close to me. (Buuurrrrrp...) Transcription of the Divorce-hearings of Finnius Jalapini-Canard O'Harpy and Scarlett O'Harpy: FJCO'H: Of course it's waranted, she tried to eat me! Judge Lump: Wouldn't that normally be a good thing? SO'H: Not like that, you [editted] moron! Imply it one more time, I dare you... JL: Yes'm. FJCO'H: [Hangs head in hands.] Rumors on the street: Hydrus may be co-writing a movie with Lord Kendricke, a likely story, as the two are known to be on friendly terms. The UBB's will be shunned in the near future for a more time-and-money saving process. Bead has denied this, but we all know how he is. The sainthoods, given out previously by Peredhil as a compliment to certain mages, will become an intrinsic part of AM in the next reset. The mechanics of this are still in construction, but are said to be "Something like the Quest for Glory." Following Up: I post this, not out of humor, not out of jest, not out of comedy, not out of repetitiveness, but out of journalistic integrity. These stories need to come into the light, to be exposed for our sick amusement. If you, or anyone you know, has any information on the preceding pieces of absolute truth, or anything you think may be of interest, please don't hesitate to post. Oh yeah, any coverage on the whispered "Tzimfemme: In the Clothed" should be accompanied by photos. Thanks. -Finnius, Integritist [This message has been edited by Finnius (edited May 30, 2001).] IP: Logged Tamaranis Veteran Posts: 822 Registered: Apr 2000 posted May 30, 2001 08:31 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Looks out Finnius! The mods might delete this thread in light of all this recent talk of so called spam. They're trying to stop you from telling the truth! ------------------ "one man can't make a real difference, but I'm not a man, I'm a mage" -Arawn Seeker of Babylon! Probably should have changed the ? to a ! a long time ago... [This message has been edited by Tamaranis (edited May 30, 2001).] IP: Logged Gyrfalcon Moderator Posts: 1401 Registered: Mar 2000 posted May 30, 2001 10:07 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- This one ain't doing so, even if he isn't quite sure what a 'tetsubo' is, and is too tired to go look it up right now. =) IP: Logged The Big Pointy One Veteran Posts: 709 Registered: Apr 2000 posted May 31, 2001 01:10 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- My guess is that it's one of those big round straw hats that look like a big upside-down bowl... IP: Logged Tiax Veteran Posts: 636 Registered: Sep 2000 posted May 31, 2001 11:37 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I thought it was that guy in Akira... IP: Logged Finnius Veteran Posts: 408 Registered: Mar 2001 posted May 31, 2001 11:56 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- No, no, no. A tetsubo is a bit like a large club covered in small, round spikes, then plated in metal. It is mainly a bashing weapon, requiring very little thought to use. For more useless information, contact your local library, kyuden, or Hida. Thank you. IP: Logged The Big Pointy One Veteran Posts: 709 Registered: Apr 2000 posted June 01, 2001 01:08 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Ah, so that's why BPS' cousin is called BigPointyTetsubo... I see.... IP: Logged Gyrfalcon Moderator Posts: 1401 Registered: Mar 2000 posted June 01, 2001 11:30 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Ohhhh.... okay, now I understand. Actually, I might have to get myself one of those for enemies who don't take much damage from being chopped up.... a big armor-plated club might be right up their alley. =) IP: Logged Finnius Veteran Posts: 408 Registered: Mar 2001 posted June 04, 2001 10:30 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- News from the Rumor Mill! As those of you who play BS know, Armageddon came early this reset. Word on the street has it that this may have co-incided with the death of our favorite Tetsubonic Mod, Gyrfalcon. Whether or not this is the "easy way" to end the world is yet to be seen. In related news, The Big Pointy One has been seen purusing Crazy Djahab's Import Weapon Depot. He was later reported to have been noticed swinging a Die-tsuchi-modified BPS. *** Could it be true? This reporter has it on good confidence that Tzimfemme the Nekkid, Patron Saint of errrrrr... Nekkidness... has been known to be a closet dresser. And not the furniture kind. *** Dateline Terra, A few days ago: The Pen is Mightier Than the Sword, the legendary literary group of the UBB's has declared itself an official guild. When questioned about this, Elder Wyvern responded "We just felt it was time to become more of a mainstream political force in Terra at large. Jechum has predicted a probable ten percent increase in guild revenues, and we have Peredhil hard at work makin- err, recruiting, new members. Also, we're interested in branching into several new markets, such as training newbies, setting up midnight nimball programs for inner-city youths, and evil." No other elders were available for comment, but we can trust Wyv, right? Right?! *** Well, gossip-mongers, that's all for now. Remember: If nobody sees that fifth ace, it's not there. ------------------ Finnius, Blues-man A Saint of Terra, The man with the rubber soul, Glib haiku writer. IP: Logged Finnius Veteran Posts: 408 Registered: Mar 2001 posted July 02, 2001 04:16 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The lie factory has been silent for quite some time now, mainly due to my involvement in the following story. And by "story," I mean "journalistic artwork that should never, for any reason, be doubted." Dateline Terra, The Evil Castle of Mhaoree: Bead, the despotic despot of All Terra, sits alone in the tallest tower of his evil castle. Alone, that is, except for the six other people in the room. One is easily recognizable as Gyrfalcon by the small armor-plated tree on his back. Another has his identity confirmed when he shuffles nervously, turning his cloaked form towards the hidden camera in the upper-lefthand corner. Wyvern, Elder of the Pen. The other four are hidden at this point, cloaked in deep crimson and black... err... cloaks. Bead the Almighty, Destroyer of Worlds, speaks. "I have gathered you all here because you represent major factions in Terra. As you know, the market for evil is somewhat... lacking. This must not be allowed to continue!" With this, he slams his fist onto a near-by coffee table, shattering it in a blaze of purple polyester fury. He continues. "To this end, I am conscripting you to bring about the final destruction of Terra. This will be done in a thread entitled The Final Destruction of Terra, seeing as the corporate lawyers of the underworld were unable to lease the name Apocalypse Now. Personally, I think that would have had a nicer ring to it, but what can you do?" The assembled avatars of destruction laugh politely. Bead continues, yet again. "Yes, yes. Enough. Now, who wants tea squares?" At this point, the video gets somewhat boring, as all it shows is evil incarnate having tea. The film runs out, just as Bead is setting up the board for a nice game of Chutes and Ladders. _____________________________________________ As you can see, Terra seems to be in a bit of trouble. But rest assured, I will continue to cover this quite-possibly groundbreaking news, as it happens. IP: Logged TimeRipper Veteran Posts: 195 Registered: Jun 2001 posted July 02, 2001 07:14 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Terra Globe : Vol.120; Issue.23; Section 3-A Dateline Terra Is Said to be Fraud! A few angry mages stormed into the lobby of the Finnius Corp. yesterday. When the mages arrived, however, a full allege crew of top writers and undercover reporters were hard at work trying to crack real life mysteries. Others still believe that the newspaper is still a phony, though, and continue their fights in the courtrooms. "It's all lies! Completely unreal!" Commented Gyrfalcon, one of the mages caught up in this proposed conspiracy. "Whatever stories come off the presses inside that building should not be believed. Especially since I don't play Chutes and Ladders, only Candyland...and Monopoly Jr., but that's it, I swear." Later, we caught up with Finnius, the paper's editor and owner of the Finnius Corp., who would not comment on the situation, but gave us this written statement: "My articles are 99% legit. I can not believe how everyone is reacting to my new press release. I'm only a writer looking for a story that is absolutely truthful and honest. If innocent people get in the way of my stories, should I be the ones responsible for what the reactions are by others if they’re the ones that have done these enflaming mishaps?" After handing our reporter the documentation of his thoughts, Finnius retreated to the comfort of his office. There, evil laughter could be heard calling out of the windows for the next few minutes. Later this weak, the courts will cast their decision on whether to allow the printers to keep rolling of to deny Finnius the rights to ever sell newspapers publicly again.