Rahsash Geldich

I'm currently 3 days into camp and its great.... I already broke a light fixture! The flag and I had a minor spin argument. I wanted spin, it wanted height, it won. We're doing the Firebird, so its all good.

Good luck in your camp Nyyark! If your band is anything like ours, you'll want it

((Yet another band inspired work! Kinda shallow and stupid, but that's okay, its happy.))

O piece of metal, taller than me,

With a colorful flag for all to see.

Please miss my toes as I spin you around,

Don't hit my head as you come crashing down.

And should you decide you want to be loud

Don't take out any of the milling crowd.

Well, maybe percussion... I'm only joking!

Really, they're okay when they aren't smoking!

Anyways, I'm now back to my prayer.

Please O flag, don't reflect the sun's glare!

And when winter makes our hands turn numb,

Don't let us hit our fingers, we look dumb

Let us accept our bruises with grace

Even though quite a few will be to the face

Broken nails, stage makeup, too much hairspray.

And the uniforms that get in the way

And when the field looks like some kind of hell,

I don't want to think about the time I fell.

Remind me there's a payoff to all this

And band is something I'd never want to miss!

So be kind to me, I flag I must use

There can only be one of us to abuse

Life?

I echo Yui in that it is eloquent but turns unexpectedly dark, yet never loses the eloquence. Nice work.

I agree, Kudos to you!

Daydreaming is fine, as long as you don't seek perfection. Sometimes 'flaws' can make a person unique. Interesting way of stating the concept.

Eloquent as always, I admire the structure you find without rhyming. I like how you seperated the lines, they seemed to have more meaning than running them in one long phrase. Very nice.

I think people confuse lust with love and when the looks fade, hence does the love. Anyone else have a better idea of why the divorce rate is 1 in 2? I think true love is attainable in the sense that you love someone enough to make sacrifices, to fix problems, and know no one is perfect. So although it is there, too many people have the wrong idea of it I think.

Sometimes you search for a dream and live in a nightmare but awakening only establishes that the oppisite was true. Intriguing read.

As the doubt clouds my mind,

Stratus across the moon

Shadows engulfing shadows

The dark is rising soon.

I can feel the claws of depression,

Scratching at the walls I've built

And the void of dissapointment

Is more empty than any guilt.

I've been consumed, been taken

Engulfed by a shadow of a doubt.

Cast first deep within my heart

Its something I could do without.

I promised I wouldn't do this,

Wouldn't care to this extent

When I care, I always hurt

Though its never my intent.

This dark infiltrates like mist

You never notice till you can't see

But engulfed by this shadow

Is the now sadly doubting me.

Don't question me on my opinions

If you don't really want to know

Because the offense you display at them

Will make my temper flare and show.

I don't do things 'just because'

Even though thats why I say I do.

Yet I'm trying in some ineffective way

To get back in some way at you.

"Why do you play such strange music?"

"Because it lets me blow off some steam."

"Well, why- Are you really all that angry?"

Sometimes its all I can do not to scream.

I'm forced to be some perfect, golden child

And I don't dare to show who I really am.

Don't dig in to far, you might not like

What I have tried to hide, to bury in the sand.

Don't cut down what I have yet to build

Listen carefully to what little I do say.

One of these days, I'll have had enough

And won't care to just leave you along the way.

((Hmm, looks like I've fallen back into my black ranting, sorry Zool ))

Alaxis woke gradually the next morning. Her body was immediately run through with a shock of pain that left her wishing she was still asleep. The murky dark inside of her curtains was comforting, just warm enough to be cozy without being hot. She drew the covers up around her, wincing at the movement, and lay there, weakly wiping the sleep from her eyes.

"I shouldn't have used you to do that sweet, now his blood is once again on you... I shouldn't have fought either. He's so much stronger, so much... I don't know, he's just intimidating. And what he did to my wings, oh my wings..." She drifted back off to sleep, dreaming the dreams of remembering that only comes when we are so tired even our minds do not wander.

((Sorry for such a short post, I'll finish it tommorrow. At the writing of someone sleeping, my bed beckoned))

I like how the phrase in parentheses (sp?) re-states the verse so an image is formed rather than the words left to tangle too much in metaphor.

Once again, striking imagery, although the title is almost a contradiction in itself... Or I suppose it is to me

Interesting rhymes, and the imagery somehow keeps the theme of white when re-read, what with the line about icy tendrils.

Don't hide in plain sight,

See the darkness in Light

The heart can tell us what is right and what is wrong better than many laws, for what we feel will goern our actions more than any rule might. Eloquent work, an admittion of wrongdoing is seldom as forgiving towards oneself in appearance.

A cry into darkness

Echoes with light

As long as the caller

Wants peace in sight.

When you look for hope, peace and love soon follow, nice metaphor with the fortress imagery.

:;adds a commandment to the List of Ones That Should be Followed::

Thou shalt not confuse Love with Lust

Intriguing poem, the way it crosses itself feels like a path itself. I like this

::Applauds::

I agree, the creators of those need to have their computers crashed, their hard drives burned, and the mate to all their matched socks lost

Very nice poem too!

Pyromania, what a wonderful obsession, one of my best qualities I think

I get the feeling of an explanation for a war, particualrly with the lines about whether by time or mortal hands. Very interesting, sort of like an inspiration for a character, rather than a speech by one. Good luck on your compaign and, more inportantly, welcome back!

I wanted to wash away the pain

So I went and stood out in the rain.

But what it washed, it left tainted

Not clean as I thought, but repainted.

And as the paint slowly chips away

I sigh and recoil from the day

That I must go stand and reclaim

The bits of lost soul-I need to stay sane.

But all has been washed by the rain

And shimmers, tainted by rainbows

Shadows on the moon

A full moon beckons me into the dark

I slip like a shadow, slither to embark

I pass unnoticed and enjoy my solitude

My place of calm away from the multitude.

Call to mind all the eerie fantasy halls

Faintly damp, filled with night's calls

Moonlight streams in, the only light

Iluminating this silvered chyld of the night.

But the moon makes this alright

No evil resides, just shadows of doubt

Engulfed by them

A dark triumph, for lies seem to coat us all in black soot. Make sure you can wash, not just dust the hurt off.

A nice song, one I think would turn out very well, I can almost feel the bass beats.

Although I believe the subject is clouded from me, the feeling I get is one similar to a combination of 1984 and the belief that the more we enable, the less we accomplish. Interesting imagery and the subtle rhyme scheme is captivating.

She finally stood, the water plastering her clothing to her body. She tried to ignore her aching body, now drained of adrenaline and threatening to just flop on the ground and sink into unconsciousness. She weakly started the motor, trying to ignore the scraped sides and just try to get home. She didn't remember any of the run, direction wise at least. She turned time after time, the rain chilling her and numbing most of the hurt. But injury to the soul cannot be numbed.

As she finally pled onto a main road she knew, her watch beeped, telling her it was seven and her mom would be home. She gratefulyl pulled into her drive, silently opening the door and placing her motorcycle in the guest room, shutting the door. The air conditioner was giving her goosebumps, and she ducked out of the sight of a mirror hung on the wall. A faint sound of humming drifted from the kitchen, her mom standing over a stove that was a bustle with steaming pots and pans.

"You're home early." Alaxis noted how flat, how raspy her voice was.

"Where've you been? I was so worried!" Her mothers was full of expression, percieved as overdone. Then she got a good look at her shivering daughter. "Oh dear God! What happened?" Lynne flew into a flurry of activity, wetting a rag and trying to wipe off some of the black smear that was Alaxis' face.

"I got into another fight at school. Some prep was talkin smack and him and a few of his buds jumped me." The lie came easily. It was not an unusual occurance for her, and her mother merely tsked a few times. The warm rag was fiery hot on her chilled skin.

"Maybe I should talk to the school board..."

"No! I'm fine!" She jerked away, and her mother turned back to the stove.

"Alright, get cleaned up, dinner's ready." The humming started up where it left off and Alaxis draggd herself up the stairs, stripped off her wet clothes, tenderly pulled on dry ones over her battered body and fell into the bed. Her knife she clutched to her chest, thoughts lingering in hysteria and hopelessness as she drifted off to sleep.

Edited by: Rahsash Geldich at: 6/26/02 7:06:55 pm