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The Pen is Mightier than the Sword

Katzaniel

Ancient
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Posts posted by Katzaniel

  1. Oh, Tyrion, that post gave me a good laugh. I think I recall the project of which you speak, and don't worry, it wasn't finished by very many people. Besides which, I have a certain knack for not finishing things myself. Or at least, being very very slow at finishing them.

     

    I remember that love letter, too. Finnius, Ozymandias, you - you guys are all crazy. Good times though.

     

    I wonder if I should dig that thread up and read it again, or if I'd die laughing if I did?

  2. Ah, but for what dreams we are made!

    What living light

    In shallow breaths

    We hold so dear.

     

    For whom do we play our parts,

    to please what man?

    Whom but those whose thoughts

    Are but our dreams!

     

    What life, to please them

    whose life so like mine own,

    That by breathing only

    I might make them smile.

     

     

     

    So, I attended a conference on gaming late last week. That explains about 2 days of inactivity. What have I been doing since then? Reflecting on my new life in which I am a part-time contract programmer for a game company, that's what! This is just a spare-time thing, and no money until such time as the game is finished and making the company money, but it's an amazing opportunity for me, who has wanted to make games for so long. I spent much of the day at the conference talking to this woman who's more or less in charge of this company, and then met with them this weekend where I heard more about the actual game that they're making, and am doing so again next weekend to find out what my exact role will be.

     

    There's still a lot for me to do before that meeting, and yes I am making my life busier overall but I still intend to be around here a whole lot more than I was during that recent period where I'd disappear for weeks at a time. Bottom line for this next week is that there's a number of threads I need to post in and a couple of PMs that I need to give my attention to, and I'm just hoping that everyone understands if the going's a bit slow. After that, I'll have to play it by ear; I'm not sure how much time I'll need to devote to this, and I guess it's going to depend what's going on at the Pen at any given time too. I plan to keep going on my vignettes and my novel (albeit slowly) and I suspect that other solo writing projects (none of which I have ever completely given up on, by the way) will stay silent still longer, but that should surprise no one since I didn't quite get to the point where I had revived any of them yet.

     

    Love you all and long live gaming!!

  3. Horace: Finally took enough notice of her surroundings to realize that she was walking on thin air. Fell, cartoon-like, to her death.

     

    Inbi: Created and melted enough ice during a battle that she, and her foes, all ended up drowned.

     

    Katzaniel: Finally picked a fight with something tougher than her. Died without ever admitting to this fact.

     

    Aniel: Eaten while trying to collect the tooth from something that ended up not-quite-dead.

  4. I am hereby announcing that the Hearth Room, previously available to members immediately upon joining, will now be available only upon reaching rank 2, or for all old members. This is because the old requirements for Tale Spinner, our lowest rank, used to be a lot higher, and apparently there's stuff posted in there that people are sensitive about. Also, this helps in the general discouragement of using that room. There's been a lot of talk about how the guilds, previously, split energy away from the Pen-at-large by duplicating already-existing forums. We're trying to mimimize the effect of that without actually deleting the forum, since many of the original members want their stories kept there.

     

    PS. And there have been a ton of other changes - read the new SWG FAQ to catch them.

  5. Mardrax. You've earned it. Congratulations!

     

    And, I feel that you should know, the process of your promotion began - what, two weeks ago? Long enough that you can be assured that any comments about what should or shouldn't make a quillbearer, or about whether or not you should be able to see conversations in the member room, have had no bearing on this promotion. You earned it through your writing and your general activity. But, and bear this in mind too, your comments in that selfsame thread have only doubly proven your worth to us as a quillbearer, for you have shown many times over that you care about the Pen and have good ideas that should help it to flourish.

     

    That said, welcome to the ranks of Quillbearer, and I look forward to seeing your choice of Quill Quest, if and when it happens. Cheers!

  6. Crack! Groooooan, creeeeeak.... bang!

     

    With a loud flourish, the guilds began to rumble and shake. The buildings housing the Articulate Artisans of Alliteration, the Alliance of Vagabonds and Vanguards, and the StoryWeaver's Guild, all sunk Figaro-Castle-style, into the dirt. People (and mammals of all types) rushed away to avoid being pulled in with them. All went quiet for a few moments (translation: nearly two months ;)) and then suddenly, on the other side of the Keep, the rumbling resumed. Crowds began to form around the re-emerging guilds. They watched as familiar parts of the SWG reformed beside the Assembly room and Critic's Corner: The Scribbler's Cafe, a little larger and somewhat more worn, and a much, much smaller Room of Fiery Hearth, still barred to the public but with a little note on the door, reading "Cramped in here. Plz use Assembly room if possible. Mngmnt" They watched, too, as the Portals and the Catacombs rose into place beside the Conservatory and the Greenroom. And then they stood for a moment, waiting for the AAA to come back... but it did not.

     

    Pennites began looking at each other, waiting, wondering, but nothing more happened.

  7. This is just a guideline, designed to help anyone give feedback to anyone else. Use it, or portions of it, or not, as you like. Also, suggestions for improvement are always welcome.

     

    This rubric is designed to make specific feedback easier to request, give reviewers a template to help them give valuable feedback, and to make the whole process less subjective. It is not possible to completely objectify quality in writing, of course, but to help along those who want to improve, we felt that some measurement of that improvement was necessary.

    Level I Level II Level III
    Characters The characters are believable. The characters are believable in their own right, interact in a fairly consistent manner, have some history and are not so extreme as to prevent the reader from relating to them. The characters take on a life of their own, are well thought out and act consistent to their own beliefs and experiences.
    Dialogue The dialogue is realistic and gets across the meaning of the speaker as needed. The dialogue is realistic, flows with the story, is consistent with the character's point of view, and is spoken according to their background. The dialogue is realistic, flows with the story, and reflects what each speaker would want it to reflect. It accurately differentiates between speakers from different cultures or backgrounds through grammar, wording, similes and catechisms used.
    Mechanics The work is understandable and has few major spelling or grammatical errors. The work is understandable and the flow is interrupted only occassionally, by typos or other minor errors. Whitespace is used. The work is understandable and no spelling or grammatical errors disrupt the flow of the piece. Whitespace is used.
    Devices An attempt is made at using devices (repetition, foreshadowing, et cetera). Devices are used without coming across as forced or obvious. The devices used are just enough to make the piece better for them. (This could mean there are none).
    Plot The plot makes sense and the story was interesting. There are few plot holes. The plot makes sense and was interesting. The story involves creativity and there is no undue confusion produced by the order or way in which it is told. The story is interesting and very creative. Everything happens in the order most conducive to the storytelling.
    Planning Characters do not change personality without reason. There are little or no mistakes regarding described attributes. There appears to be thought put into tense and perspective. Plot holes are small and inconsequential. Characters do not change personality without reason. There are little or no mistakes regarding described attributes. The setting is well chosen. The choice of tense and perspective seems to be the best possible. There were no plotholes detected. Characters do not change personality without reason. There are no mistakes regarding described attributes. The setting is well chosen and possibly integral to the story.
    Descriptive Describes the location, objects and characters. Describes the location and objects so that the reader understands what everything looks like. Characters are described thoroughly and soon after meeting. Description rarely interrupts the story's flow. Describes the location and objects so that the reader has a vivid image of characters and almost feels like they are there. Description is carefully woven so as to not interrupt the story's flow.
  8. Although each of your stories may be different, it is very helpful to us when someone can post a general outline of what they want in the way of feedback.

     

    Are you new here and just want to share your work?

     

    Do you have little or no intention to revisit old stories?

     

    If this is the case, then you don't want to find your self-esteem shattered by drive-by advice from someone who assumes you want to want to improve, and only means well.

     

    On the other hand, if you're a seasoned veteran of creative writing classes and are looking only to get better, then you don't want to be left a bunch of "Great job"s or, even worse, nothing at all for your efforts.

     

    Please, read through the following descriptions, and decide which one suits you as a default.

     

    If any given story differs from that, you can always indicate as much in a comment preceding or following the piece. ("This one is about my grandmother and dear to me... please, it's a 0." or "I'm entering this to a writing contest... I'd appreciate as much as 4.")

     

    0. Just sharing. I currently have no intention of revisiting this story. I don't really want to hear anything, good or bad.

     

    1. What have I done right? I don't have much intention of coming back to my story, but I'd like to know whether people are reading, and what sort of feelings the story is evoking. I would also like to hear general comments about which parts are working well so that I know not to change how I'm doing those things.

     

    2. Just tweaks. I don't have much intention to do any rehauling of this, but if you've found a grammatical mistake or minor inconsistency, I wouldn't mind your sharing. I'd also like to know whether or not people are reading.

     

    3. How can this be better? I have an eye to improvement, though this story in particular may not be revisited. If you have general information about what I've done right and how I can improve, feel free to share it.

     

    4. Whatever you've got! I'm not sure whether I'll come back to this or not, but either way I can take a verbal beating on it. If you have any comments at all, from spelling errors to plot overhauls, then go ahead and share it. Please: Don't hold back any comments - let me decide whether or not to ignore it.

     

    5. Details for improvement. I have an eye to improvement, and though it may not be immediate I intend to come back to this story. Please share any details that you can about what's good and what needs to be fixed. Again: Let me decide whether it's worth my while.

     

    6. The bad, the bad and the ugly. I want this story, over time and revisions, to become the best it can be. Don't even bother with a comment unless you make it worthwhile with specific information about why you liked the parts you did, and what should be improved about the parts you didn't.

     

    For example, my own feedback guideline would state that I intend to come back to the majority of stories that I write, though I only really end up revisiting a few. I don't want anyone to hold anything back while reviewing, so a 3 is too low, but I don't want to request a 5 unless I'm more serious about a given piece, so I'd go with 4.

     

    I even have a story or two for which I might request 6... but by default, I'm a 4.

     

    Keep in mind that 4 is higher than you should freely request - it gives people the freedom to review and offer any advice that comes to mind, but it also assumes that you are able to realize that most of it is opinion, and it's entirely up to you to decide whether their opinion has any more validity than your own.

  9. My brain calls out for whitespace, but the long rambling lines are part of what makes this so unique, a uniqueness that I'm cherishing. I do think that you should make an attempt to separate it into two or three "verses" and that it wouldn't hurt if a bunch of those lines were split in two... but splitting it into multiple lines per line and many versus would almost be sacreligious, in hindsight - I'd be curious to see the difference, though.

     

    I love the "How odd that we have the same hat?" line, and the end is terrific.

     

    I'm really having trouble picking out what I like so much about it, because it's so unique, but the rhythmic rambling and almost overly detailed points (ex, "naturally abnormal viridian hue") , these help. Another distinguishing factor, I guess, is the manner of speech: "people what ought to be dead", for example, instead of "that"... I don't like this so much, but it's acceptable, and giving the speaker a unique way of speaking isn't exactly harmful to the piece.

     

    "How can he not think this?" - that's good. And not because it's meant to be a stinging sarcasm - it's not, is it? Because when I get to that point in the poem, I fully believe it.

     

    Yeah, so it's cool.

  10. This is a really neat little piece. I stumbled at first upon the "eachother" thing, but the more times I read it, the more I like it.

     

    Something bothers me about the start of it though.

     

    know eachother

    as little as we

     

    know eachother

    fear eachother

    .

    .

    .

     

    It doesn't make a lot of sense to begin with. Maybe if you put the space in the very first time, before it speeds up? But no, I think what's getting to me is really the third line. Did you consider beginning it (the 3rd line) as "we know eachother"? And/or adding another line or two at the start to set it up?

     

     

    PS Rev, I rather suspect that a lot of people appreciate your comments. At the very least, your efforts at substantial feedback have not gone unnoticed by me. It makes me happy to see that people like you and Wyvern are able to give people good, in-depth comments.

  11. OOC: The following is going to be a brief RP (only a few posts each, and hopefully not very many takers). Due to that fact, I'd prefer that we all use relatively bland characters whose personalities are clear from the very first post - so as not to require anyone any outside reading - and also characters whom you don't mind letting other people misuse. I want everyone to feel quite comfortable using everyone else's character and moving the plot forward, so there ya go.

     

    I intend for the conclusion of this to correspond with the guild's return, but if this happens to be quite successful I may let it go on a bit longer.

     

    Oh.. and let's just keep all the OOC in here for this one. Participation should be quick and easy.

     

    IC:

     

    Fizzle the halfling and his companions paused as they approached the heavy gates. They had been travelling for many days to get to this castle, the Mighty Pen Keep, and they were tired - but it was so close.

     

    "Should we enter now?" he asked his friends, leaning on the wall beside him. "We won't sleep well either way, I'll wager."

     

    But he got no response, for just then a gust of wind tore through the group, and as it passed everything went still behind it. Time slowed for Fizzle, and then rushed forward. Next he felt himself growing tall and thin, the world stretching like clay around him. And then everything went dark.

     

    It took a moment for Fizzle to realize that everything was as close to normality as it going to get. The stone wall was still pressing against his back, but the heavy gates - and the rest of the keep - seemed to have disappeared. The diminuitive man looked at his feet, and then immediately regretted doing so, for he appeared to be standing on nothing. Instinctively he pressed harder against the wall.

     

     

     

    OOC: Okay, anyone who wants to take up as one of Fizzle's travelling companions (the easiest way to create a new character, I imagine, if that's what you want to do) will have just witnessed him disappearing along with the guilds (though you won't know that that's what they are). Luckily, for a few short moments some residue of the spell will be there, and anyone who rushes forward will appear inside the now transported building. They're in a state of stasis, so there's nothing around them, and no one inside of them, though any of the guildleaders can come and go as they please - except that they won't know immediately that someone has been brought along by the spell.

     

    You shouldn't have to know the layout of the guilds very much - at all, really - to participate, since they can simply morph to fit your whims. They have disappeared, after all, for the purposes of some "reconstruction".

  12. All well-deserved. And yes, while now you're running around the place looking at the new places that have opened up, I don't doubt that at least one of you, and probably all three, will soon be lending your much-appreciated skills and opinions in the running of this place.

     

    Oh.. and congrats. ;)

  13. Man, BPO, you're good.

     

    "When I want to erase myself

    When I can't stand to face myself"

     

    And

     

    "three days now and still no slumber

    trying to think but the only sound is thunder"

     

    That poem that you said is mostly "random scrawling" (you should start titling them, even if you do it with numbers) I really liked.

     

    I enjoy how in your poetry, I don't really expect rhyming, it just happens. I'm never sure what the rhyme-scheme is, and I don't care, because it feels unconstrained like free-verse, not clunky like imperfect rhythm, but if I read along I will be pleasantly surprised by the rhymes. Which is unusual, because if rhyming doesn't follow a rhythm and I'm not expecting it, it's so easy to miss.

  14. Just posting here to say that I have the first draft of a poem for Tanuchan that still needs a lot of work.

     

    And, for Mardrax:

     

    If you want to write about my main character (half human and half tiger), there's a wealth of information about her - perhaps too much. It's a bit of a confusing character... she's currently much different from her first appearance and even her overall description, so you'd have to read a good part of this and I'd still probably have to PM you a new description. I do have that description already written, but like I said, this might be waaay more than you want to get into. If you want to do Katzaniel, I recommend you do her before Homeward Bound took place (in which case you can just use the description as it's written) or ignore her previous incarnations and just do Aniel (I'd still have to send you that PM), or let me write up a summary for you. But keep in mind that there's also Inbi (a young female ice and fire mage who spent much of her life stealing for food) and Horace (a completely unintelligent demoness who can't find her way back to the underworld). I'm trying to use these two more often in my writing, anyway. I recommend you just grab whichever of those two sounds more interesting and then go with it. Unless you've already started... in which case I'm very sorry that I didn't post all of this sooner.

  15. I joined in on a completely unofficial capactity this time, aiming for 40,000 where I had 30,000 last time - and quickly knocked that down to just a little bit of writing here and there, maybe trying for 10 or 20,000. As of a few days ago, (yes, I am still going) I'm at 7,200. Yay for complete detachment. Or not. Next year I will go back to actually trying, I think.

     

    PS. Congrats to anyone who did better than me. :D And also to those who didn't! But let's none of us completely drop our stories when all's said and done.

  16. I'm going to skip a letter:

     

    antidisestablishment

     

    Against people who are against institutions. (This is a real word. In fact, I could skip right to anitdisestablishmentarianism, but I won't - and now that's not allowed ;) Also, apparently you can add "pseudo" in front of that for one of the 10 longest words in our language, but I think that's cheating.)

  17. 1. Name of Female Pennite - Tavarilyn

    2. Name of Male Pennite - Mardrax

    3. A Mythical Title - Supreme Mythman

    *giggles* I didn't get this one, either.

    4. Noun - man

    5. Verb, past tense - zippered

    6. Name of Another Pennite - Melba

    Close enough.

    7. Adjective - quirky

    8. Verb ending in “ing” - flowing

    9. A Liquid - windex

    10. Adverb - incredibly

    11. A Time of Day - slightly after the crack of dawn

    12. Noun - worm

    13. A Weapon - rapier

    14. An Exotic Article of Clothing - tuque

    Yegods, that's hard to spell. And though it's not exotic for *me*, am I mistaken in thinking its relatively exotic for most others? Ah, well, I'm using it anyway.

    15. Verb - flash

    16. A Piece of Furniture - footstool

    17. Plural Noun - wires

    18. Part of Body, plural - bellybuttons

    I hope that this wasn't necessarily meant to be something that is normally found plural on a single person, as everyone else did...

     

    EDIT: Missed weapon.

    EDIT2: Aaaaand apparently when it's spelled "toque" it's pronounced "toke". When on earth did that happen? I think Merriam Webster is mistaken. Whatever, I'll go with the flow and correct it. Looks even more wrong this way though. I always thought it was "touque".

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