iPenguin

Thanks! I really appreciate your comments and criticisms, I like it when people actually care enough to take the time to really give some good feedback rather than just "nice poem" or something. Probably before I explain this any further, I should maybe say that I didn't adequately preface this poem. The story that it is based on takes place in the world of Dreams. This probably could have been gleaned from the final stanza, but one of the central ideas of the poem is the lack of reality involved. The idea of the tune of the summer breeze can't really be defined, I wouldn't really be able to give it a melody, it is rather supposed to evoke an image (even if that image is aural). In the second stanza, it isn't the breeze which has broken the silence. You are correct that the breeze would add to the serenity of the scene. The "no more" is rather supposed to be ambiguosly interpreted: either as "I no longer watch in silence" for reasons later enumerated in the poem, or "No more than a moment". You are correct in saying that Dreamwriter is a title. The thing is, there isn't only one. I'm still not entirely sure, I have actually been debating whether to add "the" in. But in my story as well, I have not yet decided if one would address the Dreamwriters as merely "Dreamwriter". It's something I'm still sorta bouncing around. Thanks for the comments, I'll take them into consideration next time I'm in a revising mood. I always welcome constructive criticism.

This one I wrote a little while ago and was inspired partially by the book I'm writing called Dreamwriter. It's my first post here, so I hope you like it The traveler peers into the gloom Discovering what it means to be alive Wandering silently, peacefully Drifting mistily, ever asleep. Dewy eyes of golden starlight Sparkling reassuringly To the tune of the summer breeze In the long grass I watch in silence, for a moment No more. Weren't we there, for a time? For a brief moment, in an instant of glass? Or was it a dream? Sweeping eerily, wistfully Through the night sky On the backs of clouds Frozen for a moment Suspended, motionless Soaring For a moment. Travel with me now Pull apart the mists of illusion And part the curtains of despair Step into the realm of a moment. A field of white with drops of silver glaze Perhaps above us, but who can tell? It drifted in and out of focus But we didn't. Weren't we there for a time? Shimmering in a pool of starlight? Or was it a dream? Opening eyes, extinguish the sun Dreamwriter lays down his pen And I almost believed what he wrote For a moment.