MinimondoT

Figure one way to stimulate activity is to be active. Not my best, but as my first in several years - not my worst either.

 

Had to go back and read "Should I post?" before I clicked!

 

You make me want to work on my writing and post again!!

Miss you *HUGS*

I really loved reading this! The bit about spelling made me think of the way my oldest niece (almost 13) writes online. I don't know if I enjoyed reading or listening to it better but I think this would make an excellent children's book! All of that uncertainty and then the courage to try and the joy at the results Of course, that may just be the teacher in me talking

Thanks for writing and posting this!

For anyone who is interested, here is the final cut of what I used =0)

A chance meeting, an easy smile,

The seeds of friendship planted.

A simple wave, a sweet hello,

with sunlight and water added.

Days turn to weeks, weeks to months,

Our friendship grew to love -

A love so true

A love so deep

A love to last forever.

My heart I'd give thee, but alas! cannot

For you stole it many a year ago.

But in its stead I offer this -

I'm yours to forever cherish and hold.

My soul is thine; it is connected to yours,

we are but two halves of one.

My smile, my laughter, the warmth of my hands

Comfort and joy through good times and bad.

My promise to be yours as long as I may.

A friend you can trust who will never betray.

My everything, I gift, my all

I give to thee since you've given me all.

I love you...

With this ring I seal all I've said

With this ring I'm yours.

All I can say is WOW. I am really impressed with this one.

Congratulations on your wedding-to-be, MinimondoT! :-) I know that you two have been fiancées for a while now, but I'm guessing that the presence of this poem here means that a formal wedding is imminent? I think that this is a very nice poem that will go over well with your wedding guests in particular, as I can definitely feel your happiness in the tone of your words. My only suggestion might be to remove any of the poetic language that you might not use in regular conversation, such as "Mine" and "alas"... I realize the wedding is meant to be Rennaisance-based and definitely appreciate the way that you've incorporated an older tongue to fit this mold, but at the same time I feel like this poem is not something to be acted, as it's based on genuine vows of love and real occurences. The more it sounds like you, the better... the formal poetic language used in it runs the risk of making it sound slightly artificial, in my opinion.

 

Anyway, I hope that you and your fiancée have a fabulous wedding when it does occur! :-) You'll be in our thoughts (well... maybe not Parmenion's thoughts, but most of our thoughts)!

 

With that, Wyvern sighs wistfully and decides that he needs to develope an Almost Dragonic Brand Bouquet Vine-Magnet specifically for this type of event. The overgrown lizard treads out of the Banquet Hall with a blueprint in one claw and a thorny wreath in the other...

Thanks Wyvern. I think I might take the "mine"s out. The alas however =0) actually is rather me so =0) I will probably leave that in. Do you have any hints on sounding more Renaissance though? if not for the vow then for the reception.

OOC: Sorry for the delay. I have been out of contact with a computer for a while. For those writing, feel free to take Karinne along when I am not around and thank you Tam for your intervention. I don't have a lot of time now but I will be back later today!

Karinne, sent out on her Namkia felt the past few weeks had been nothing of the journey she was supposed to be having. Living off of the land and traveling into the land of the humans was all and well except she had hardly seen any humans. Her future ranking was based on the experiences she was having and so when she came across Kiart she decided to go in.

As the Feniks, Karinne’s people, tended to travel best by day she slipped into Kiart a few hours after the sun had risen. Having no real destination Karinne followed the path that served as the town’s main road. Nearing a building that smelled of the metalworkers of home she came upon a gathering of humans and though she had not yet learned the language she could see that something was happening. Staying in the shadows she watched and waited.

As Karinne settled down to watch she saw four men leave the building of the metalworker smell and ride down the street. Soon after a small boy ran after them waving what looked like a simple dagger. The boy confronted them men and one man kicked the boy in the face. Karinne, not sure on the customs stayed in place as three more adults came onto the scene. The two who arrived first appeared, by the looks on their faces, to care a great deal about the boy child while the third was dressed in something Karinne recognized; armor. The armored giant faced the four men while a second man approached. Now, Karinne was a quick learner and though she was not sure of the customs of humans, by these new human’s reactions she figured hitting children must not be good. With that thought Karinne leapt from her place in the shadows to join the fight. Her katana at the ready, she stood facing the four men on horseback.

writing my own wedding vow. Lots comments welcome and wanted! <Renaissance themed wedding>

A chance meeting, an easy smile

The seeds of friendship were planted

A simple wave, a sweet hello

Sunlight and water added

Days turned to weeks and weeks to months

Friendship grew to love

A love so true

A love so deep

A love to last forever

Mine heart I’d offer but alas cannot

For you stole it many a year ago

But in its stead I offer you this

For you to forever hold

Mine soul for it is connected to yours

As we are but two halves of one

Mine smile, mine laughter, the warmth of mine hand

Comfort and joy through good times and bad

My promise to be yours as long as I may

For no other man to you can compare

My everything, my all, for no less can I give

When you’ve given me all I’ve said here

I love you

With this ring I seal all I’ve said

With this ring I am yours

Mini swoops in for a quick hug trailing a banner "HAPPY BIRTHDAY TANNY! " behind her and then swoops out again to see if anyone has read the short story beginning she posted, leaving the banner suspended above Tanny.

So, this is my first serious try at anything other than poetry (except some RPG). I would appriciate feedback. Both critique and compliments. This is only the first installment!

“Kia…”

She was riding across a sun drenched meadow on the back of a golden centaur.

“Kia”

The sun’s warmth and a breeze that smelled of flowers combined with his steady hoof beats to lull her to sleep. She didn’t worry about falling though; Mikale’s magic held her in place.

“KIA!”

Kia jerked awake at the sound of her name. Sam was pounding on her bedroom door. A quick glance at the clock told her she would be late for class again and in front of her, instead of her 3 page essay on DaVinci, was another doodle of a centaur and the beginning of yet another short story. She was so dead.

“I’m coming!” Kia yelled as she tossed her books into her bag. A pair of jeans, a sweatshirt, and her flip-flops later and she flew out the door, past Sam, and down into the kitchen.

“We’re going to be late again.” Sam, Kia’s housemate, math tutor, and all around best friend drawled as he came down the stairs behind her.

“I know. I fell asleep at my desk again.” Kia said, showing Sam her latest doodle and story beginning. “And this is what I have for Professor Mac.”

“Kia, this doesn’t look like DaVinci…”

Kai and Sam had known each other since freshman year. He a math and computer science double major and she an English major, they had met in an Art 101 class and become instant friends. Sharing a love for art of all kinds, Kia and Sam had stayed friends through all the ups and down of college and now, in their senior year, had finally managed to get an apartment together. Opposites in nearly everything, Kia was an athletic book worm who fell drastically short when it came to being tidy while Sam was the typical math/ computer geek with his organization and neatness. Kia left the cleaning of the house to Sam while she made sure they stayed stocked on food and found plenty of places to go to see art. Living so near Atlanta, Sam and Kia were able to find art of all kinds. Unfortunately, as of late, they had had hardly any time to go out and hunt down new art because of all of the work that went into senior year.

Kia broke into Sam’s reverie of why, again, he put up with her total lack of organization. “Sam, I know I should have stayed up working on the paper but when I write about Aterrá it’s as if I go there. I mean, I can hear it, smell it, feel it and even taste it! I just wish I could bring you along one day. Then you would understand more.”

“Kia, I have read your stories,” said Sam “and they are great. But if you don’t start concentrating more on school then you will fail midterms and we may lose the apartment. You know that your scholarships ride on your GPA. We can’t afford this place if you have to start paying tuition too!”

Sam and Kia parted ways at the history building and as Kia entered her art history class she knew something was different. There was a new student, though no one else seemed to notice him. Kia didn’t understand why though. He had pointed ears, slanted eyes, and resembled nothing less than an elf. In fact, he looked very much like one she had written a short story about years ago. But Kia didn’t have time to worry as Professor Mac started collecting their papers and she had to explain why she didn’t have one. As class went on, Kia couldn’t help but stare at the strange new student. The professor called him Mark (they did have a student named Mark, though Kia didn’t see him) and he seemed to know all of the material…but he kept glancing her way and Kia thought he knew what she saw. When class ended Kia approached Mark.

“Hey...Mark…”Kia said. Mark took one look at Kia and stopped dead in his tracks.

“We can’t talk here. Follow me.” Mark said in an urgent tone. Even though Kia knew she had a class in 7 minutes, she followed him anyway. Outside the library, in a secluded and quite spot, Mark finally stopped and turned towards Kia again. “You can see me, can’t you?” Mark asked.

“Well of course I can see you, everyone can. What I don’t understand is why I have never seen you before…” said Kia.

“You have seen me before. I am Mark, the same Mark that has been in your class all semester, but now you can really see me, can’t you? You are touched; I can see it in your eyes. My questions is who are you and what happened that you can see me now?” asked Mark.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, but I do know you look like an elf and I want to know why.” Kia replied. Suddenly Mark turned around.

“I have to go,” he said “but we will meet again.”

How cliché thought Kia. We will meet again. Oi. Well, now I am late to class but maybe I can still sneak in while Professor Smith’s back is turned.

That night over dinner, Kia told Sam all about Mark and then showed him her newest painting. “The weirdest thing is” said Kia “that Mark seems so much like that elf I wrote about freshman year, when we had to write those fictional short stories. And look, here in my painting. I did not paint an elf in this doorway but there he is, way in the background.”

“I think I see him,” said Sam, “but then again, maybe you stuck him in there when you weren’t paying attention.”

“Stuck him in there….when I wasn’t paying attention?” questioned Kia. “I don’t think so. I think he put himself there. I don’t know how, but I think seeing him in class today and then in my painting must mean something.”

“Right…” said Sam, “and I think you are reading a little too much into this.”

As Sam cleaned up after dinner, Kia studied over her painting again. The more she looked at it, the more she saw. There, in the corner was the castle she dreamed up when she was a little girl. The one where her prince charming would live and one day take her away to. And there, by the steam was the great tree where all the elves lived. She could even see the lights in the tiny windows. It was all there, everything she had ever written about. She had been thinking of Aterrá when she painted this painting, but she didn’t realize she had put this much of Aterrá into her painting. That night, when Kia went to bed, she covered her painting with a sheet and by lunch the next day both she and Sam had forgotten of the painting and Mark’s strange appearance.

As the week went on neither Kia nor Sam gave any thought to the strange Monday they had, had. Mark didn’t show up for Art History, Kia managed to get her DaVinci paper in, and Kia’s painting stayed covered up in the corner of her room.

“Kia, come on, it’s Friday night!” exclaimed Sam. “We have to go see the new play. It is supposed to be the best one the theater department has put on in years!”

“I don’t know. I still have to study for Professor Mac’s midterm next week and I haven’t finished that math project that was assigned, like, months ago and is due Monday…” said Kia.

“Ok, here’s how we’ll work this. I will help you with your math project AND help you study for Prof. Mac’s midterm if you will come with me tonight. I have been dieing to see this show but you know I won’t go on my own. Anyway, I heard something about audience participation and you know you love to get involved.” explained Sam.

“Alright” said Kia, giving in, “but only if we go to the early showing. I don’t want to be out all night with so much work to do tomorrow.”

“Then let’s go!” yelled Sam as he ran for the door. “Don’t forget your student ID!”

The show was a spoof off of A Midsummer Night’s Dream and DID have audience participation. Kia and Sam ended up as part of a wall, part of a tree, even part of a group of elves. Seeing the costumed actors dressed up as elves reminded Kia of Mark and her painting, but by the time they got home that night both she and Sam were ready to collapse.

“Alright, that was fun” admitted Kia, “but now we have to get to bed so we can get up early.”

My favorite poem of this group is "An Ocean of Words", probably because I was expecting the cliché of "message in a bottle" and instead received a message outside of the bottle.

=0) It is kind of a random little poem but I ended up really liking the way it turned out. =0) Thank you for your description of

a message outside of the bottle.

I like these alot. they are all very nice and I like how most have to do with love you can really feel that when your reading

Thank you. I tend to write most when I have a strong emotion inside that I can't get out any other way (which I am sure applies for a lot of people). It is an attempt to get that emotion out where I can see it and I am glad to share that emotion. If you can see the love in the poetry then it means I am doing a good job

Found some old poems while cleaning out some papers, thought I would post them here and see what you all thought!

An Ocean of Words

All the words I've ever said

Placed inside an ocean

drop by drop, word by word

filling up the sea

Every word, Every drop

Swept up in the ocean

Every word, Every phrase

Sent back home to me

Old Love

How does he make me feel?

that I do not know

my heart flutters yet I hate it

because once I loved him so

his brown Eyes made me melt

his Touch made me shiver

his Voice made my heart go thump

his Smile made me quiver

his number pops up

his Voice on the line

Not what I was expecting

so Long has it been

since I awaited his call

my Old love

I say Goodbye

Blue

the blue of the sky

the blue of a bay

the Blue of his eyes

will take me away

New Love

strong Hands

nimble fingers

blue Eyes

golden curl

his Smile

his Eyes

his Voice

an Angel

my love

Is he perfect because I love him?

Or do I love him because he's perfect?

my love

my angel

my perfect

Mini wings in to find Mynx curled at Peredhil's feet and a Birthday banner above.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY PERI!!!!" <tackle hugs> "I don't have much but here..."

<hands him a glowing feather from her cloak>

"It makes a great quill and the light won't go out so you don't even need a lamp!" <glances at lamp on the table> "not that lamps are bad..."

"Sadly now back to my work"

Mini glides out with a sigh and piece of cake in her beak

Of course you can print it out Appy. =0) Thanks for asking though! And thanks to everyone else for the comments. It is good to be posting again, hopefully I will have more soon (more time to write and more to post)

the "warmth and strenght thing was kind of hard by the way.

I think you did a really good job though!!!

not my best work but I thought I might try

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Like a river that runs

memories fly

Rushing and passing

quickly going by

Like a river that runs

memories go

with time they shrink

with time they grow

Memories remembered

Memories forgotten

With death memories stopped

Not like a River that Runs

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Here's one if anyone wants to try it

"Warmth and Strength, Touch and Feel"

Mini stops in a for a quick look around, realizes she really can't stay (but oh those drinks look good) and yells a quick Happy Birthday to Brute and Thinas and a Happy Unbirthday to everyone else as she runs back to work.

It's alright if you don't use it. Just something I misread in one of the other headlines (pirates instead of parasites) made it pop into my head.

Mini not sure if she is to late to add a headline quickly writes...

"Locals confused by Pirates: Swabbing decks and stealing booty"

flying goggles and set off to find the mythical dragons Roaiseyulip almost spoke of just before she changed into the Great Pumpkin. Quickly becoming tired of his search (after all, Roaiseyulip didn't give him much to go on) Snoopy decides there are better places to fly to and heads for....

As the promotion finally sinks in, MinimondoT thanks all for their congratulations. She has been a bit distracted as of late and hopes to have more to add to The Pen soon.

yay!!