Kalypso

Quite an amazing action sequence! The pictures you created in my mind are indeed vivid.

I saw a couple of things you may want to fix...

1.

His mental calculator tallying up every target, every weapon, how many in use, the probable level of ammunition in said weapons, in reserve, in crates in vehicles.

The bolded part of the sentence didn't read right. I think it might have to do with over using "in." I think if you reword it, it'll be more reader friendly.

2.

even a hint of comprenesion of would result in celestial fire

Just a little typo mistake.

The comfort level and understanding in long term relationships are invaluable.

No more obligations to talk—or care.

or care? I see the point you are trying to get across, but I think the way you wrote it can lead to misinterpretation.

Welcome.

Such a pretty little poem.

It reminds me of two highschool sweethearts leaving to go too seperate, distant, schools. It does hurt when a loved one is gone. Yet another sad peice of work.

You do have one typo you might want to revise...

Eras cpmp luz,

cpcp...I think you missed the o.

How sad...

If only we realize the truth before we ruin the things that have the potential to be wonderful.

What a free spirited piece!!

Even pixies have to deal with reality!

I loved it. Made me feel light hearted.

*smiles a warm welcome*

This rings true for a lot of people who were lost and later found light.

Happy, happy birthday!

Poems that express raw emotion are amongst the best. You really did an outstanding job!

You might as well wish for Armageddon. World destruction through the eyes of a pyro.

... That was actually my first impression of your poem. I understand the point your trying to make though. YOu express it well.

You do use the word burn a lot, you might want to try another word to replace it in some areas.

If i'm too harsh let me know and i'll tone it down a bit next time.

I think your peom is refreshing. I love poems that radiate hope.

It's great that you're exploring writing in other languages. If I ever get around to brushing up on my Spanish, I might give it a try.

I know a little Spanish, and your spelling looks pretty good to me, although i'm not an expert.

Ah huh! I understand now. Thank you for the explanation Illianna.

Keep up the outstanding writing.

That does bring back memories! It'll go by fast.

I love it!

My favorite stanza...

Lives touch and intertangle

Spinning cobweb connections

That sever and snap so easily

Ripped apart by violent drops

Pelted down from the emotionless sky.

Connection lost or changed

Reality becomes transient.

Maybe it's me, but I don't understand the last line...

...I used to be so.

Can you explain what you meant? The line seemed a little odd to me.

*smiles warmly*

Welcome

That one gave me chills. I like how expressed the charactor's panicked, obsession. Really nice job, I can't think of anything that would improve it as a short story.

Life is what you mold it to be. The concept of fair doesn't exist within the scope of creation.

Because of that, i'm not to hot on the subject matter your poem contains. If i'm being to blunt, let me know and i'll dullen my blade.

On the positive side of things....it has a nice flow.

It's cute. I've never heard it.

Happy, happy birthday to you!!

Nice work!

Me craft a haiku?

I've only written a few.

May I join the crew?

Put me in the infant haiku group pwease. I be needing much guidance.

What a truthful realization that not many want to face.

Outstanding work!