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Posts posted by Atadiusti
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Lean in and listen close
I know the secret they never tell:
There is no heaven, only hell
And this is it
I'm living in it!
Get me out of here!
Can anyone hear?
I want to be someplace better
Get me out of here!
Does anyone hear?
I don't want to live here forever
Take me somewhere greater
Why is it the walls have ears
And all the people cannot hear
The children's cries
Hidden behind the lies
They're just fine
Everything's alright
When you turn off the light
Get me out of here!
Can anyone hear?
I want to be someplace better
Get me out of here!
Does anyone hear?
I don't want to live here forever
Take me somewhere greater
If I begged for life today
Would you turn and walk away?
Leave my life in disarray
It's a never-ending loop
Until you realize the truth:
I'm not fine
Nothing is alright
Don't turn out the light
Get me out of here!
Can anyone hear?
I want to be someplace better
Get me out of here!
Does anyone hear?
I don't want to live here forever
Take me somewhere greater
I'm not fine
Nothing is alright
Don't turn out the light
Don't leave me tonight
I want to be someplace better
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I wrote this song to promote tolerance, and to emphasize that different people have different ethics and logical processes, and it doesn't mean they are bad or evil.
Keeping my head held high
And it's all I can do
To keep from crawling on my knees
Raging
Defiant
(Riot!)
Beaten down again
But back to my feet
I will never be one of you
Because I am only me!
You tell me that it's bad for me to feel this way
But it feels so good
You tell me that it's wrong for me to feel this way
But it feels so Right
Feeling the love flow by
There's only lust for you
And when you go down on your knees
Don't you
Deny it
(Want it!)
Going down again
Cause I want to feel
Like I am a faction of you
I want your disease!
You tell me that it's bad for me to feel this way
But it feels so good
You tell me that it's wrong for me to feel this way
But it feels so Right
Don't you judge me for how I behave
I'd rather be free than some sort of slave
You call me evil when I don't share your ethics
Where you see good, I see sad and wretched!
You tell me that it's bad for me to feel this way
But it feels so good
You tell me that it's wrong for me to feel this way
But it feels so Right
The life that I'm living
The love that I'm hating
The way that I'm seeing
You tell me it's wrong
Tell me it's wrong but
It feels so right!
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"The Box" is about breaking up, and specifically references an ex girlfriend I parted extraordinarily unwell with, but we had some of the best of times together before then. Hats off to HW, I hope the Pen enjoys:
I still have the box
That says I have your heart
It makes me wonder why we split apart
And I miss you
And I think I loved you, babe
I loved the care that you gave
And I loved the love that we made
You were the reason that
I slept and woke up again
But now that's all gone
And I'll always remember when
And now you're gone
And I've moved on
We needed space to breathe
But, girl, you deserved much better than me
I still have the box
That says I have your heart
But I remember why we had to split apart
The constant fights
Where we both just had to be right
And all the inquisitions
based on jealous insecurities
Yeah, we were pretty young,
But you left your impression.
I'm no good with people
But I think we did okay.
But now you're gone
And I've moved on
We needed space to breathe
But, girl, you deserve
You'll always deserve so much better than me.
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Accounted for.
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Just because it is a matter of taste doesn't mean it is not typical. I am perfectly aware it's a matter of taste; that's why it was a minor edit, and why I only suggested you change it only if it was accidental. I was half asleep the first time I read that, and I can see the pattern now: You only begin a line with a capital letter when a new sentence begins. On a second inspection you have a semi-colon where there should be a comma or colon
"not for something so absurd" is a dependant clause.I cannot take you at your word;
not for something so absurd.
And no, it does not look silly to me.
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Nicely put. I'd have to say just about every human goes through a period of low self-esteem at least once. Having been through a nice long period myself, I STILL find it annoying as all-get-out, when anyone puts themselves down unjustly, ie a beautiful girl calling herself ugly, or a brilliant person calling themselves stupid (they sure are acting as such for believing it, especially when they don't believe they have a choice).
Beauty itself is subjective. It's one thing that cannot exist without its polar opposite, and one with an ever changing meaning - We could not define beauty without ugliness, or good without bad, or dark without light. In the late Victorian era, obesity was found to be attractive in a woman, whereas now, it is found to be unattractive. In fact, I've found my tastes seem to be unique where it comes to beauty, further illustrating the point. If you still can't like what you see, change it. It will take work, but it's worth it if you want to better yourself in your own self-image.
Extremely minor edit: As I'm sure you know, typically every line in a poem begins with capital letters or all lower-case letters. I am trying to find a pattern as to why you did otherwise but I cannot. If this was an accident, you may wish to correct it.
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Haha. Excellent intuition. It IS a song as are the rest. And I am putting them all to music.
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Something's hiding beneath the surface
Underneath the blood and skin
A force inside me I can't control
(won't control)
Don't you feel it?
Feel a power that's flowing
(within me)
Can't you see it?
See the animal in me
(the real me)
They always try to tame me
To beat me down and break me
Lock me in a cage of lies
And hostility
But they'll never hold me down
No!
Something's hiding beneath the surface
Underneath the blood and skin
A force inside me I can't control
(won't control)
Don't you feel it?
Feel a power that's flowing
(within me)
Can't you see it?
See the animal in me
(the real me)
You're all driving me insane
You shun what you can't explain
Don't you think I've gone crazy
I won't be contained
And you'll never keep me down
No!
Something's hiding beneath the surface
Underneath the blood and skin
A force inside me I can't control
(won't control)
Don't you feel it?
Feel a power that's flowing
(within me)
Can't you see it?
See the animal in me
(the real me)
Look into my eyes
What do you see?
Can you see the beast
The animal that's inside of me?
-
When you die, hope for a tunnel light
Because Evil wings will flap tonight
And their blood red eyes will always know
To send you where you don’t want to go
Then you go down, down
Down below the ground
Where light never shines
Welcome to Hell!
Step in the threshold
Cross inside the portal
Let anguish pervade you
Make yourself comfortable,
You’re here for eternity.
And you'll be torn apart grain by grain
Only to feel it over again
Allow yourself your rage to consume
A private cage to seal your own doom
Then you go down, down
Down below the ground
Where light never shines
Welcome to Hell!
Step in the threshold
Cross inside the portal
Let anguish pervade you
Make yourself comfortable
You’re here for eternity.
When you die, hope for a tunnel light
Because Evil things will come tonight
And those blood red eyes will always know
To send you where you’re going to go
(Where you're going to go)
Then you go down, down
Down below the ground
Where light never shines
Welcome to Hell!
Step in the threshold
Cross inside the portal
Let anguish pervade you
Pain you never knew
Make yourself comfortable,
You’re here for eternity.
Then you go down, down
Down below the ground
Where light never shines
Welcome to Hell!
Welcome to Hell!
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This pain
Never goes away
No matter how hard I try
I can't keep this wound at bay
I feel lost inside
My black will never fade to grey
I am
I am the darkness that surrounds you
I am
I am the voices from within you
I am your fear
I am your hate
I am your insanity
I am
I am the face of your lie
Bold as the sun in the sky
The night won't hide you from me
Peekaboo, I see you
I am
I am the darkness that surrounds you
I am
I am the voices from within you
I am your fear
I am your hate
I am your insanity
I am
I am the pain that you cause
Back at you with fangs and claws
There's now safe haven from me
Peekaboo, I see you
I am
I am the darkness that surrounds you
I am
I am the voices from within you
I am your fear
I am your hate
I am your insanity
These thoughts always returning
The wheels will never stop turning
Can't you feel the pain that's burning me?
Can you hear the screams of those taken?
The one's you've forsaken?
Can you feel the rage you've awakened?
I am
I am the darkness that surrounds you
I am
I am the voices from within you
I am your fear
I am your hate
I am your insanity
Rip open my skin
Tear it off my body
Pull out what's within
Tick tock tick tock tick tock
Peekaboo, I see you!
-
I woke up feeling lost today
I need someone to help me find my way
The whole world is out to get me
And I cannot survive on my own
I need hero
to protect me from villainy
I need a healer
To ease the pain of this injury
I need a savior
To free me from this misery
I'm falling from my faith
I feel like I'm about to break
You're the answer to all my prayers
But you're not there!
I'm at war with the world and you
Need to be the one to help me fight through
Cause if I take another step
then I will fall off this precipice
I need hero
to protect me from villainy
I need a healer
To ease the pain of this injury
I need a savior
To free me from this misery
I'm falling from my faith
I feel like I'm about to break
You're the answer to all my prayers
But you're not there!
My God, My God
(My God, My God)
Why have you forsaken me?
In this maelstrom I've been thrown
My God, My God
(My God, My God)
Why have you abandoned me?
I feel like I'm all alone!
I need hero
to protect me from villainy
I need a healer
To ease the pain of this injury
I need a savior
To free me from this misery
I'm drifting into the dark,
Slipping away from myself
Can't seem to find a spark of hope
I need hero
to protect me from villainy
I need a healer
To ease the pain of this injury
I need a savior
To free me from this misery
I'm falling from my faith
I feel like I'm about to break
You're the answer to all my prayers
But you're not there!
My God, My God
(My God, My God)
Why have you forsaken me?
-
I feel so restless
All these memories haunting me
I feel so restless
Why won't anyone set me free?
Why can't the dead stay dead?
Why can't we let go of
everything and move on?
Why can't we forget them?
The ones we've lost to life?
Why can't they just stay gone?
It's hard to hide
From the truths
the lies, and loved ones left behind
Try to decide
Where to go
How to retrieve my peace of mind
Why can't the dead stay dead?
Why can't we let go of
everything and move on?
Why can't we forget them?
The ones we've lost to life?
Why can't they just stay gone?
I feel so restless...
-
Another day
Another time
To feel the ever-closing pressures of life
I need
Someone to hold
And tell me everything is fine
I'm about to go insane
Will I ever be,
Can I ever be alright?
I'll be
I'll be your dark angel
I'm watching you
from the shadows
and I'll watch you from up above
and I'll be
your guardian angel
I will protect you
from all evil
and ill be with you
through all your troubles
I'll be your dark angel
Everything is gonna be fine
Everything is going to be alright
Don't give up on life
Before the sun rises again
You must make it through this nightmare
You're not alone
I'm right here with you
Don't feel alone
I'm right here for you
I can tell that you're hurting
You tell me you have it rough, but you're not alone
(I..)
(I know...)
(I feel...)
END
THIS
NOW!
I know
I know pain no one alive should know
I feel
I feel pain no one ever should hold
Tell me have you seen seen a knife in your gut?
Have you ever felt a hand on your throat?
Have you ever known
Have you ever known the sorrow of being alone?
Have you stared death in the face on your own?
(But you're not alone)
I'll be
I'll be your dark angel
I'm watching you
from the shadows
and I'll watch you from up above
and I'll be
your guardian angel
I will protect you
from all evil
and ill be with you
through all your troubles
I'll be your dark angel
-
Originally, I was going to prologue the entire story with this legend, but when I orated the legend to my friends, I discovered it wasn't interesting enough alone to be a hook, and that I, telling it as a legend, like Atlantis or Camelot was missing something. I realized that I couldn't have Mort tell the legend uninterrupted. Like The Genetic Opera, it is a story that needs interruptive thoughts. And Prof. Thibodeaux is the kind of gentleman who can't contain his thoughts, and thus, was the perfect tool to create a better telling of the legend.
MORTIMER: Long ago, when the world was young, there was a society called Legueré that was made up of three islands: Atlantis, Lemuria, and Cook. The Legueren people had technology far beyond the rest of the world. When Babylon had yet to build the hanging gardens, the Leguerens had electricity, advanced medicine, plumbing, and the power of flight. But the king of Legueré, against the wishes of most of his people, wanted to build an empire that spanned the entire Earth. He had a weapon built, a weapon of unimaginable power, in order to achieve this goal.
However, by accident or by design, the weapon was sabotaged. When the weapon was unleashed, its power backfired, and caused a massive destructive cataclysm. The Earth shook, the seas boiled, and the islands began to sink into the ocean.
For Atlantis and Lemuria, there was no hope, but Cook was saved, at the last moment. I've heard that The island of Cook only survived through attaching itself to the back of a gargantuan turtle The remaining island continued its existence floating about the sea on the back of the sea turtle. Soon, however, the survivors realized that they had to regain their former technological glory, as much of their advancements were lost in the cataclysm, and still more had to be relearned in time, so they engulfed themselves and the turtle in a cloud to hide themselves from the outside world and give them time to rebuild.
WAHLTER: The people of Cook became travelers and traders by necessity, but eventually, it became a cultural way of life.
MORTIMER: That's not true at all. Cook has always had a fascination with the other cultures in the world. It's practically an ethnic trait. In fact, it's about the only one there is, aside from wanderlust. Cook is made out of a collage of different peoples from all over the world.
WAHLTER: My apologies, lad, I can't help interjecting sometimes. I have not heard that version of events before.
MORTIMER: Understandable, sir. Now back to the story: It's been said that you can't find Cook unless you've the true spirit of a Cooki, although some mariners and explorers throughout history claim to have been shipwrecked and washed upon their shores.
WAHLTER: Yes. I have compiled a list of accounts by those who claim to have Cook. The last documented account made by a man who washed up on Cook's shores was in 1702.
MORTIMER: The legend goes that soon after, the Island of Cook took to flight. Maybe the turtle had died, no longer able to ferry the island, and the Cookis built a flying contraption to keep the island from sinking into the seas. From then on it was crewmen of airships - not boats - that crash-landed upon Cook. Even these pilots are widely thought of as insane or delirious, but I know that Cook is still out there, floating through the sky, hidden in a cloud.
-
Just what is Cook? Where is it? Why do Mortimer and Wahlter want to find it so badly? These questions will soon be answered; Mortimer is about to reveal the legend!
Setting: Die Welke Pub, Düsseldorf, West Germany; August, 2009 AD, Afternoon
Mortimer, Wahlter, Daeic, and Alestair are all chatting around their table.
Wahlter ponders over his glass. “You know, lads, it's shameful, the price of whiskey theses days, why back when I was in university, I could buy 5 tankards then, for the price of one glass of this piss water today”
Wahlter downs his drink.
Wahlter asks Mortimer “As my new assistant, I must ask, are you familiar with the legend of Cook?
Wahlter raises his hand, index finger outstretched and waves it around in the air
Mortimer answers. “Yes, sir, I'm Cooki myself, I grew up with all the stories, and the culture.”
Wahler leans in, intrigued.
“Truly? Facinating! I would very much love to hear the legend straight from a Cooki. If you would oblige me of course.”
A waitress brings a new round of drinks to the table. Daeic watches her, smitten.
Mortimer says slowly, “Well I think I can recite it.”
The waitress leaves with the empty glasses, and Daeic watches her leave.
Mortimer ponders, “Now how did it start?”
-
Ha! that's great. Avatar meets Starcraft. I laughed hard, reading this.
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~Atadiusti~
Atadiusti - The Writer
* ~Introduction~: Atadiusti is Cherokee for "thorn" or "bramble," and that's exactly what I fancy myself as: The thorns of a beautiful flower. I'm stoic, patient, quiet and observant; an introvert to the extreme. I take everything in stride, no matter how strange or odd, and I'm proud to say that nothing really phases me. I enjoy writing, drawing, singing, playing music, and martial arts.
* ~Biography~: When I was born, lightning flashed and thunder crashed. The sun and moon were hidden from view, and the skies burned. The oceans boiled and became as blood. Children screamed without knowing why, and the devil died of a heart attack. Now, I make women swoon, hooligans cower, and I live with Ozymandias.
Lyrics [/headercell] Brokn Mind The first set posted on the Mighty Pen, and used as my application piece. It's a song about what it feels like to be in my head. Dark Angel It's a song written about striding forward through hard times. I wrote it when I was being exposed to a lot of negative thinking from friends and acquaintances. Everyone was thinking about giving up, that their problems made life unbearable. I thought their troubles were rather trivial when compared to all I'd been through. I wrote the song to emphasize that adversity is not something to fear, and is at once the verbalization of my collective kicks in the rear and shoulder to cry on. Mourn, The Dead I've been to a lot of funerals, friends and family, young and old. Everyone else is always crying, or on the verge. everyone sad, angry or both. I found nothing worth crying about, but it always has fascinated me to wonder, "how do the dead feel?" The song is meant to portray those feelings Prayer If one has been raised in a specific religion, it is a natural occurrence to go through a phase where one questions one's own faith and may either come out with a stronger faith, a different faith, or it could be lost entirely. "Prayers" is about my own crisis of faith. Carpe Diem The song is about driving forward, working toward making one's dreams come true, and seizing the day. Welcome To Hell [/td] Animalias is about having a strong, prominent primal/bestial aspect to one's self and about living with it. To me, It's self empowering. Stories Metamorphosis Novel WIP - Scifi Story that includes a modern setting, and 'Werewolves' with a unique, scientific explanation for existence. The Magpie's Screams Novel WIP - Scifi Fantasy blend story with a post-apocalyptic setting, includes magic, ESP, and beings from other dimensions such as dragons Like Clockwork Comic WIP Steampunk comic series; I'm working on scripts for storyboarding, and looking to get an artist draw the comic for me.
Like ClockworkList of Characters His medical knowledge, his surprising agility, speed and precision, and his unpredictability make him a dangerous opponent, no matter what his mood.
Jarvis is the crew physician, and as such holds a close, albeit tense (no one wants to wake up on the operating table as the subject of one of his crazy whimsical experiments), relationship with everyone. Humors Thibodeaux, as the Prof.'s senility makes him believe Jarvis is his old butler. -
Thanks for the welcome, but I have to say, your portrayal of me was very off mark. For instance, everyone knows I respond to "Indeed" with "Quite," not "what?".
You are right about one thing though: I have a basic concept of the beat and melody, but it's not finished, and it needs tweaking.
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Song lyrics I've written called "Brokn Mind"
My mind is a maze and I'm the rat inside,
Trying to find my way out again. This time
I can see the hate as it festers within
My demons are devouring me again.
I'm in pieces and we are all fighting for control
Of my life, of my heart, of my soul, For this hellhole
I am all alone beside myself.
Arguing with myself
I can't decide who I want to be
I can not define my own desires
I'm denying myself
Again, and all I see
Is me!
My mind is a maze and I'm the rat inside,
Trying to find my way out again. This time
I can see the hate as it festers within
My demons are devouring me again.
I'm in pieces and we are all fighting for control
Of my life, of my heart, of my soul, For this hellhole
I hear the voices inside my head
Screaming inside my head
Always reaching for somewhere higher
I've broken my head
Again, and all I hear
Is me!
My mind is a maze and I'm the rat inside,
Trying to find my way out again. This time
I can see the hate as it festers within
My demons are devouring me again.
I'm in pieces and we are all fighting for control
Of my life, of my heart, of my soul, For this hellhole
I see myself and what I can be
That potential in me
I am going to become what I
Really want to be
Again, but all I fear
Is me!
And all I hate
Is me!
All I see
Is me!
(me)
All I hear
Is me!
(me)
All I fear
Is me!
(me)
All I hate
Is me!
(Me, me, me, me, me, we)
My mind is a maze and I'm the rat inside,
Trying to find my way out again. This time
I can see the hate as it festers within
My demons are devouring me again.
A broken mind and we are all fighting for control
Of my life, of my heart, of my soul, For this hellhole.
For me!
me!
me!
We are me!
-
Not sure what I can say about this one... It seems pretty self-explanatory to me. Mortimer meets up with Sir/Professor/Dr. Wahlter Thibodeax and company assembling the first of the crew bound in search of Cook. You'll notice that Wahlter is a doctor and professor of Archaeology, that he is knighted, and that he is going senile. After I (and Ozymandias) made this character, we discovered that he's so much more bad-ass than Indiana Jones ever could be, and that's just the way we like him.
Setting: Die Welke Pub, Düsseldorf, West Germany; August, 2009 AD, Afternoon
Mortimer sits at bar in the loud, though not so crowded, pub (Most of the noise is coming from Wahlter and Daeic)
Mortimer leans in towards the bartender.
“I'm looking for a Dr. Thibodeaux! A pilot next-door said I could find him here! Would you point him out to me please?” He asks over the din.
the bartender points.
“Sir Vahlter? He is over at that table mit his employees! Der Doktor is the old Englishman!”
Mortimer comes over to Wahlter's table. Wahlter is enjoying his second tankard of ale. Daeic is busy devouring his chicken wings. There are two empty seats across from Wahlter. Alestair is seemingly interested in something unknown up on the ceiling
“Good day to you, young man!” Wahlter booms. “Come for an autograph of the famous Wahlter Thibodeaux, eh?”
Mortimer takes a seat at the table across from Wahlter
“Actually, I'm here on business,” Mortimer replies, “ You see, I need you and your ship.”
Wahlter leans forward in his seat, hands folded on his table. Wahlter, Daeic and Alestair are all looking intently at Mortimer. Daeic is frozen midchew.
“Woah, woah, woah!!” Daeic exclaims through his mouthful
“Mister...” Wahlter begins, faltering.
“Mortimer Montgomery.” Mortimer chips in.
“Mister Montgomery, you must understand that I do not run a ferry service. I may be a retired professor, but I'm still a very busy man. I'm looking for a place of yore: The Curious Island of Cook. And I MUST find it before I retire.”
Mortimer becomes confused by the statement. Alestair leans in towards Mortimer.
Alestair whispers. “Don't correct him, mate. He's started to go a little senile.”
Mortimer smiles. “In that case, sir, I think we can help each other out. You see, I'm looking to get to Cook as well!”
Wahlter smiles back. “Well, why didn't you say so in the first place? You're hired! I need a new assistant; my butler is... no longer with us...”
Wahlter, Daeic, and Alestair bow their heads in silence.
Alestair leans in towards Mortimer and whispers, “He quit.”
-
This strip is designed to do 2 things: offer a general idea of Mortimer's objective, and show how difficult it is to get an airship pilot, especially if the destination is a myth, and especially if no one knows where the destination is. Originally had cut him right into the bar and find Wahlter, but when I looked at it something seemed off, things were just too easily done. I decided I had 3 options: Run with it, and hope the audience wasn't bothered, hang a lantern on Mortimer's luck. He is, after all, supposed to be subtly lucky; even when things don't work out they'll lead to a situation that just couldn't have happened (as well) otherwise. For instance when his rocket boots broke. *sigh* those rocket boots... If his rocket boots had not broke, he'd have gone on to Italy, and then he'd have never found the "band of merry travelers" he will now, or worse. I chose to insert this strip into the story, it took away the feeling of things being too easy, kept Mort's subtle luck in play, and it didn't break into or detract from the plot
Setting: Düsseldorf docks, West Germany; August, 2009 AD, Afternoon
Mortimer enters the dockhouse. A plaque by the door reads “Rhein-Fluss; Luftschiff und Bootsyard.”
Mortimer asks, “Could I hire you to help me find Cook?”
Montage of random pilots:
Pilot1 “You want me to fly you to a FAIRY TALE!? Are you crazy?”
Pilot2 “Cook? That place doesn't exist. It's a story made up to give Romanis a sense of importance.”
Pilot3 “You're a little old to go chasing after fantasy and legend, aren't you?”
Pilot4 “Hah! Yeah, I'll do it. 500,000 euros an hour. Take it or leave me alone!”
[wide shot] Pilot5 “Nein!” Throws a wrench at Mortimer
Pilot6 (as he polishes his aircraft) “Cook, huh? If you ask me, I say Cook doesn't exist. A waste of time searching for it. No, I will not fly you around.”
Pilot6 looks at Mortimer. “You seem like you need this little adventure, so I'll point you to someone who just might. His name is Wahlter Thibodeaux . Doctor of archeaology or somethin'.”
Pilot6 shakes Mortimer's hand. “Dr. Thibodeaux can always be found in the pub next door nowadays. I wish you and your adventure all the luck. God knows you'll need it.”
-
This strip is short and to the point, but is by no way simple. One landscape picture in portait dimensions. The point of this is to not only show that Mort has moved, but also to slow the pace down a little bit, so that, once again, the audience is not overwhelmed by all the characters that I have to introduce. Also it shows off the bat the huge differences between the world I portray in the story and the world we are all familiar with.... It works better if you can see it.
I suppose I should say a little bit about where our intrepid hero Mortimer has landed. Well, welcome to West Germany. The Cold War did not end nearly as quickly as it did on our Earth, and as a result, The Berlin Wall was not torn down until the beginning of the 21st century. By this time, the influence of England and the Soviet Union on West and East Germany (respectively) was so ingrained that Germany was divided for good. Now the two countries are known as West Germany and Prussia. West Germany now speaks a pidgin of English and German, while Prussia speaks both German and Russian as separate languages. Where Germany used to be the center for science and medicine, West Germany remains so. Conventions and lectures are held so frequently, the universities, laboratories, and hospitals often see a lot of traffic, and West Germany sees a fair number of immigrants from the world over seeking occupations or study in the fields of science and medicine (This explains why Dr! JD Whitecastle, an American doctor and physician, is wandering around Düsseldorf).
Setting: Streets of Düsseldorf, West Germany; August, 2009 AD, Afternoon
Mortimer walks into a riverside plaza marked “Die Luft Plaza” Airships and riverboats of various sorts can be seen docked on the far side, their berth floating on the Rhyne, on the left of the docks a large building labled “Die Welke; Hotel und Pub” sits precariously on the bank, as though added as an afterthought. Storehouses, stables, shops, and market stalls line the rest of the plaza
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I'm especially proud of this script. It was fun to write. And it foreshadows so much, but you'd never realize it unless I told you. Whoops, I just did. Well, exactly -what- this script foreshadows will remain a mystery. That I will not tell. The only "flaw" it has is that it's too long for one page, which I'm ashamed to say, I didn't notice very quickly, and that there isn't a clear break between the pages. Instead of overhauling this script, I'll probably just upload both pages at once.
In this script, I really introduce Mortimer and Jacques - past the brief snapshots I used earlier to hook the audience, and I "cameo" Jarvis at the very end in order to later demonstrate it's a small world after all, or at least a small city (Yeah, alright, that's one thing that you are privy to know that this script foreshadows). Jarvis isn't truly introduced until much later. Pity, really, but I have to introduce an entire airship crew as Mortimer collects them, I need to keep it relatively slow at least part of the time, in order to keep readers from being overwhelmed.
Well without further ado, here's the next installment of the "Like Clockwork" scripts:
Setting: Streets of Düsseldorf, West Germany; August, 2009 AD, Noon
Mortimer opens the door of a storefront who's sign reads :
“Bargus'
Mechanical Repair
Mechaniche reparatur” As the door opens, a bell rings.
Inside the store, on the wall behind the counter is a display of various tools and equipment, and a large gun rack. And a steel door.
Jacques steps through the door, wiping his hands on a worn rag
“Welcome to Bargus's. What can I getcha? ?” Jacques asks
"I need a repair job."
Mortimer awkwardly leans over to the side and unstraps one leg jet
"...this weld is coming loose."
Mortimer places his leg-mounted jet propulsion system on the counter. Jacques casually inspects the leg jets.
“I see... did you make that yourself ?“
"They were a gift from my parents. I think I've got a pretty good handle on how the mechanics work."
Jacques nods understandingly.
"Ah, I see. Custom work can sometimes be harder to fix... It might take a while to fix these..."
He ducks behind the counter, and pushes some drawers open.
"How long is a while?", Mortimer responds; more out of curiousity than impatience. He then adds quietly to himself "...Time might be a factor....
Jacques stands up with a smirk on his face and with a tray of scones in one hand, a plate in another.
He removes the cover, and places a scone on it.
He says, "Well, to make sure the welding is applied at the correct temperature, the joint remains unaltered, and that the aluminum-to-oxide ratio is at the optimum level, that's a four-day job."
He hands the plate to Mortimer.
"If I do it, though, it would take maybe three, three-and-a-half hours. I have another commission to finish first, so it would be done by this time tomorrow."
Mortimer takes a bite out of the pastry.
"Wow, that's great. How much do I owe you?"
Jaques glares down at Mortimer with “glowing eyes of doom”
“That depends...” Jacques says. “How is the scone?”
Mortimer anxiously gestures towads th scones with both hands.
“Like I said, it's great! Delicious!”
Jacques' face turns to a grin.
"It's a simple job, 250 euros should cover it" Jacques muses.
"250 euros for a scone?? That's outrageous!"
Jacques chuckles at the joke.
Jacques says, "I like you. Just promise to come back later for your bigger jobs, and I'll take half off the price for this job. Only 125 euros."
“Sounds good to me!” Mortimer replies
The pair shake hands
“By the way, could you direct me to the air-docks?” Mortimer requests.
“Oh sure, Go left out of the shop, then turn north when you reach Vōlklinger. The docks are on the river there's a pub and hotel nearby. It's hard to miss.”Jacques explains.
“Thank you very much.” Mortimer says. “I'll be back tomorrow.”
“Have a nice day” Jacques says.
Mortimer steps outside. Jarvis walks by in the background.
“Just like clockwork.” Mortimer says to the air, smiling.
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Amongst the song lyrics and novels I write, I also write scripts for webcomics. The one I'm currently focusing on is called "Like Clockwork". It's about a young gypsy named Mortimer, and a motley crew of misfits (an old senile retired archaology professor, a paraplegic pilot, a silent mercenary, , and about the misadventures they get into as they search for a legendary floating nation: The Curious Island of Cook. It's set in an alternate world where petroleum oil was never discovered to be a viable power source, instead society has continued to develop technology around water/steam, coal, and clockwork. History, and Geography will of course have departures from our own, such as the continued existence of East and West Germanies. The setting is supposed to be purely science fiction, but I want to give some people the impression - every so often - that paranormal/supernatural forces might be at work, just as there are people on our Earth that believe that there may be paranormal forces at work. But those cases where I set up those mysteries, are meant to be just that, mysteries: you'll never know the truth; I'll never know the truth.
At some point I will post bios on the main characters in the story, But for now, here's the first 'script' for "Like Clockwork"
Setting: Streets of Düsseldorf, West Germany; August, 2009 AD, Late morning
Snapshot of Mortimer flying along.
Snapshot of Jarvis walking along the street, whistling.
Snapshot of Seamus polishing his glasses.
Snapshot of Jacques heating something with his custom arcwelder.
Snapshot of Wahlter, Daeic, and Alestair sitting at a table in a pub. Wahlter and Daeic carrying on and drinking; Alestair watching and smiling silently. Abigail can be seen brooding in the corner behind them.
Snapshot of Jackie lighting a match.
Snapshot of Ophelia worriedly looking for her sister, crying out “Oleta, where are you?”
Snapshot of Oleta walking down a street with a man holding a gun pointed at her side, concealed to the passerby
Snapshot of the weld on Mortimer's leg jet breaking.
(Wideshot) Mortimer cries, “Oh nooooooo!!!” as he loses control of his flight path and plummets toward the grassy knoll below him.
Mortimer stands up
“Aw poop.”
Somebody Save Me!
in Banquet Room Archives
Posted · Edited by Atadiusti
Wake up!
You're alone in the dark
Beat up
and battered and still you
Crack up!
No one's coming to help you.
When you cry.
Wake up and open your eyes!
I am the hero you need
Stand up and open your eyes!
I am the hero you can believe in
Chin up and open your eyes!
Rely on me and I can get you through this...
Don't you dare hide.
Why do I walk with confidence?
Why do I save them?
Why do I refuse to back down?
Why do I fight when
I'm battling overwhelming odds?
Don't you forget then
It's better than surrender
Wake up!
You're alone in the dark
Beat up
and battered and still you
Stand up!
No one's coming to help you.
It's time to try
Wake up and open your eyes!
You are the hero you need
Stand up and open your eyes!
You are the hero you can believe in
Chin up and open your eyes!
Rely on yourself to get you through this...
Don't you dare hide.
Why do you walk with confidence?
Why do you save them?
Why do you refuse to back down?
Why do you fight when
You're battling overwhelming odds?
Don't you forget then
It's better than surrender