gravia_lycan

NOW can you stop saying you're not that good at the entire writing thing?

That said, while it's good, the structure seems a bit haphazard to me. It kindof forms a verse-chorus-verse construction, yet not quite.

Also, have you thought about ending the "I am nothing more..." line there, and moving the rest to the next?

thnx mardrax I will think about that one but it remains a trouble where to end lines and insert a chorus-verse part

times I had you by my side

I build something up to the face of hope

crashed, broken, thorn to pieces

cannot face the fact that I cannot live

cannot live with myself

not anymore

the more I try to keep you by my side

the more I lose you

the more I try to be with you once more

the more I push you away

I am to believe I am not one

to live with luck

I begin to believe

I am a person to live in darkness

I can't stop loving you

I am nothing more than a weak

piece of nothing

I'll always keep you inside

you heal my heart and my life

you know I've tryed

I write poems since high school but mine were allways so cliche back then so I am happy with a reaction like this

I thank you again for loving my poems I find myself not quiet good at this yet so this cheers me up ^^

yes I am ^^ thank you I think about life a lot

accept these words of mine

let me join when it is fine

join these forums and topic polls

write poems songs and let go when the rock rolls

not to creative I am yet

but grow better I will, wanna bet?

for this I want to join

just flip the coin

let me pass or let me fail

I will stand in a chain mail

take my pen and let it write

when the pen wields the might

a soul goes both way's

right or left,

what will it choose

don't know the end

neither way's are evil

neither way's are good

a mind races against the clock

time, an illusion

a thing we all fight

to have a live, worthy of living

don't know where it will end

live life the way life lives

a heart keeps love

neither good neither bad

the most powerful thing

love is the key

to open a door no one has ever seen

enter the door yourself

no other can do it for you

to say a word

to keep a thought

to live a life

to stay in balance

tranquility

peace

total rest

say a word.....

care for those who stood beside you

care for those who stand near you

care for those who entered your life

care no less for those unknown,

yet to pass your lifeline

care more for those who helped and will help you

care....

have faith in yourself

have faith in all that is

have faith in the day that passes by once more

have faith in everything you can feel, see, or hear

have faith in the unknown

have faith....

love your fellow man

love your friends

love your family

love the spirits from within

love the world for it brings so much wonders

love...