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Deadly Nightshade


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Mirror on the wall

Tell me what you see

I am who I say I am

What have I become?


My dreams smashed like a wine glass

Crush by my own hands

Blood drips like wine

I bother not to clean it


Life goes by

I slowly die

In a tomb I made myself

Is it not lovely?

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Another excellent piece of work, and this time the spelling isn't a problem!


Again, I recomend thinking about where you end the lines-

Although it may be a personal style preference.


In the second stanza, the second use of 'wine' seems a bit akward.

Other than that, I only see a few little things, which I could explain via PM, if you asked.


The important thing, like Peredhil said earlier, is to get it written down. You can tweak it later.


I especially like the last line.

It struck a nerve with me, because of events that recently transpired in RL for me.

I am a firm believer that there is more beauty in small things than anything else in the world.

That, and I just adore irony, when used appropriately.

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Do ever stop criticizing my work, I love how you do that. Thank you b/c I know I am not the best writing and no I have not been doing it for long ... and its helping me improve my skills, if any, so thanks again :)

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