Jump to content
The Pen is Mightier than the Sword
Sign in to follow this  
Guest Minta Rose

Nim/Slugge Ball: The first Emphnel

Recommended Posts

Guest Minta Rose

(Let the archivist make one thing perfectly clear: despite the number of people who contributed to this (you can guess at the old divisions by seeing who's the subject), it's all Snypiuer's fault.)

 

A tiny squeak is heard coming from the equipment, sounding something like "Oooohhh, wada rush..."

 

The small mage known as Nim, standing in the center of the Banquet Hall is suddenly scooped up, trussed in a tight ball with all three eyes facing out (so that he can see all the wonderful things to see when one is turned into athletic equipment) and thus, with a cry of "NIM BALL!!!!"

 

. . . . . Nim ball begins . . . .

 

THE REST IS TO BE READ AS FAST AND EXCITEDLY AS POSSIBLE.

 

Crashing through unsuspecting bystanders, Snypiuer zigs and zags as he is pursued through the hall. Sensing danger, he bounces the Nimball off the wall (a small cry of "ooof" is heard) as he deftly rolls to his left, coming up and retrieving the Nimball before it can bounce more than twice or anyone else can get it.

 

Once again, crashing through unsuspecting mages (who are also ill-tempered mages now), Snypiuer is able to get out in front. Toppling a table and skidding around a corner, Snypiuer sees a cadre of opponent mages, looking around frantically, he hears "I'm open!" and, seconds before getting tackled, launches the screaming Nimball to . . . . . . . . .

 

Lofwyr who stops the Nimball with his forehead and runs around with it while trying to look for a high ranked mage to pass it to. but suddenly a group of multimageing guildmembers who are actually one mage but because he is one but in the game many but then we have this with non existent groups of self trying to act on their own and... er... never mind Lofwyr gets tackled anyways and flies away a few places still holding the Nimball close with a firm grip, then! suddenly he notices a short and chubby mage jumping up and down and screaming 'I'm free I'm free gimme the Nimball!!' the second before the mage who is a lot of mages charges him he succeeds in passing the Nimball over to the short and chubby mage called......

 

OUT OF NO WHERE. . .COMING BETWEEN LOFWYR AND THE SHORT, CHUBBY MAGE COMES. . . . .

 

Gyrfalcon, who deftly snatches the Nimball out of the air. Gyrfalcon slid under a table with it, then jumped up and boots a running multimage in the head before grabbing the Nimball and running with it again.

 

By now, the bystanders, irritated by having people run through them repeatedly, decide to stop the game by attempting to fry whoever held the Nimball. Gyrfalcon dodged, swerved and teleported, avoiding the fireballs that arced around him. Casting Flight, Gyrfalcon took to the air, only to be confronted by 7 identical mages...a multi-mage!

 

Gyrfalcon quickly acted and threw the Nimball towards the nearest multimage, and a satisfying "oofff" came from both of them, as Gyrfalcon dove and recovered the Nimball again. However, the other six accounts were quickly approaching, so Gyrfalcon tossed the Nimball towards....

 

Slugge, who frantically casts aside a book entitled "Rules of the Games of Terra", and grabs the ball and frantically leaps onto a table, looking about madly, trying to find somewhere to score. Scared by the encroaching multimages, he throws the Nimball at a door. All it accomplishes is to unleash the DM/MDs. Slugge dives in their midst, managing to save the Nimball and toss it into the air towards. . Gyrfalcon again, who has just risen from the pile of multi-mage corpses. Gyrfalcon frantically looks around, trying to figure out how to score a point, wishing he had at least as much time as Slugge had to read the rules. Suddenly, a beefy mage body checks Gyrfalcon, hurling him into a table, where he lies, groaning. The Nimball is knocked loose and is picked up by...

 

Boaz, who sees an opening and runs between the legs of a fire giant on the opposing team, only.....being a little tall for a dwarf, wearing a horn helmet and the giant being a little short,......well....you figure it out.... looking around.....He notices a peach basket sitting on the edge of a cabinet....and remembering the game he saw a small part of when his crystal ball went on the fritz and he tried to fix it.........he cast flight and tries to "slam dunk" only to be grabbed at the ankles by a now recovered fire giant.....the world begins to spin...and spin...and spin.....on the bright side, Boaz though....his helmet seemed to be hitting a lot of multimages that got to close......finally losing control of all motor skills....he drops the ball.....only to have it recovered by............

 

Snypiuer, who once again enters the fray! A quick jog to the left and a sudden break right sends Snypiuer into the swinging fist of some unknown assailant! Bouncing off a wall he tries to right himself when he is blind sided! As Snypiuer hurtles through the air, the Nimball is sent careening about the hall as mage after mage attempts to retrieve it! Many a moan and cry of pain is heard (mainly from the Nimball itself) before it is finally secured by. . . . .

 

Lofwyr who just woke up after getting hit by many sleep spell, he stretches and yawns in a sleepy manner only to find someone has thrown the currently hovering-over-the-ground-somehow Nimball and bends down to pick it up. As he bends down, a blurry dwarfish object, screaming "WHAAAHOOOO!!!!" passes by over his head and hits the approaching multimages with a big 'BOOM!' sound. Lofwyr runs to the middle of the Banquet Hall, pushing down everyone in his way and shouts to the busy-looking Admin 'Admin!! get ready for the 33 ó high mage move!!!' Admin quickly tosses away the book he was reading and summons a huge ice elemental and jumps up on his back, Lofwyr quickly tosses the Nimball to him before getting whacked in the head by Kraag the barbarian, Admin who sits secure on his elemental decides to look for a way to score and yells to the closest mage 'how do you score in this game anyways??' luckily he chose the only mage who really knows the rules, the mage called....

 

Bob, but before Bob has the chance to get the ball, Shurak intercepts! Hurtling at breakneck speed, the stumpy illusionist hears the cheers of the crowd and cheerleaders...

 

"Go Stumpy! No Grumpy!"

 

"Go Stumpy! No Grumpy!"

 

"Go Stumpy! No Grumpy!"

 

He barrels through the Monkey Devils and Devil Monkeys, sending a rain of simian parts as a hastily erected flame shield explodes them on contact. The Nimball then squeaks indignantly as Shurak hurls him in the direction of Bob, only to have it picked off by....

 

Snypiuer! Yes ladies and gentlemen, the game is definitely getting serious now as Snypiuer is once again in control of the Nimball! Using his superior knowledge and expertise. . .OOOOHHHHH!!! that HAD to hurt! As a few mages seek to give medical treatment to the very still figure laying on the table, chair and floor, the screaming Nimball is stepped on kicked and bounced around 'till scooped up by. . . . .

 

Slugge, who after escaping the mass of DM/MD's, managed to reason to himself that the only person who knows how to score in Nimball, is Nim(not TM)!. Slugge tosses the ball into the air, and then leaps up after it, using a multi-mage as a trampoline. There is a loud flash, and suddenly Nim (not TM) is lying on the ground, groaning for aspirin. The Sluggeball (pending TM) hangs in the air for an instant, then falls into the waiting hands of. . .

 

Shurak! The fans are cheering! Boaz is spinning! Snypiuer... well... Snypiuer is everywhere! Sweat pours from the bushy dwarven brow as he is narrowly missed by the blurred form of Boaz. He dives, he ducks, he rolls, he slices, he dices, he even julienne's fries! Shurak spies Bob once again, but trips over a piece of Snypiuer, sending the Sluggeball(pending TM) bouncing towards...

 

Another piece of Snypiuer that just happens to be in the way so we can't say it was a deliberate play! As Snypiuer desperately tries to pull himself together, the Snypiuer piece slaps the Sluggeball(pending TM) in the direction of. . . .

 

. . .more guildies, who are cowering in the glass-sided meditation chamber. Just as the Sluggeball(pending TM) sends shards of glass flying into the meditating mages, another one clad in black appears among them and receives several shards of glass and a projectile in the gut.

 

Maralinda moans softly and doubles over, her face even more pale than usual with the impact. Boaz sails past and pins Rosemary to the wall with his helmet's horns. Snypiuer races in to regain possession yet again, but trips over four white-clad guildie feet. In a rage, he calls for the "Poodle Shaver" from the play-book, and Slugge (no trademark either) uncurls slightly and searches for his rules book.

 

Minta realizes in a flash that this must be the Nimball! She bends down to give it a swift kiss, but instead finds Slugge muttering into her face, "Must've left it in my other robes. . ." She almost cast Dreams of Seduction on him before realizing that she wasn't holding Nim (no trademark).

 

Rosemary looks down and unhappily chirps, "I was trying to call the dark! Not the bright!" She tosses him dismissively aside and begins levering the horns out of the wall. When finished, she whistles up the chanting Dorians and Grumps, who flock to her side, trampling meditating guildies as they crowd past the glass-covered floor.

 

Annoyed, Minta goes in search of Nim and the rules book, first hurling the partially uncurled Sluggeball(pending TM) to. . .

 

The Deadly Duo! That's right, Speak-No-Evil the mime and Lord Bananaclese the DM/MD, both of whom are Slugge's closest aides, have entered the game.

 

They quickly roll up the Sluggeball(pending TM) so that he's not TOO severely injured, administer a cold compress, give Slugge (who's in ball form)two Tylenol, and are then mobbed by a pack of multies and DM/MDs. The Sluggeball(pending TM) is sent sailing into the air, ready to be intercepted by . . . . .

 

Snypiuer! Yes, Snypiuer has pulled himself together rather admirably and is once again in full form! Slapping aside glass shards and guildie scum, Snypiuer uses the confusion caused by his calling for the old "Poodle Shaver" play to drop kick a whinny mage, who keeps muttering something about "Rubbish", out of the way! He tosses a table to head off a flanking play by a bunch of DM/MD's who seem to be led by a hobbit carrying an otter in a full body cast! Hurtling a chair and whipping around a pillar. . . Snypiuer elbows his way through a mass of bystanders and crushes a cheerleader as he tramples through the crowd! He breaks free! With a cry of victory he prepares to. . . HOLY MOTHER OF ALL THINGS GREAT AND SMALL! DID YOU SEE THAT!?. . . . . Snypiuer OBVIOUSLY didn't! As mages wretch and slip their way through the carnage, the Sluggeball(pending TM) is CATAPULTED across the room where it slams against the wall with a sickly thud and a pitiful squeak of, "I can taste my spleen!" it bounces around wildly and is taken in hand by. . . . .

 

Gyrfalcon, who has finally gotten up from the table where he had landed. Looking down at the Slugeeball (pending TM), he asks it "Where's the Nimball?" The Slugeeball's (pending TM) only reply is, "I can STILL taste my spleen!" Sighing in disgust, he realizes that he would get nothing out of the Slugeeball (pending TM).

 

Gyrfalcon looks around to see a growing circle of multi-mages and guilders, and with the aid of a flight spell on the Slugeeball hurls in high in the air. It comes down and is caught by...

 

Suddenly, a whistle is blown, and the smoke clears long enough for a postman to be seen. He approaches the Slugeeball (pending TM), inspects it, and slaps a "APPROVED" stamp on it. He then turns to Gyrfalcon, admonishes to play nicely with his Slugeeball , and leaves.

 

Gyrfalcon picks up the "APPROVED" Slugeeball and hurls it with tremendous force towards the other end of the banquet hall where Boaz stands ready with a large, flaming mackerel...

 

At that moment, walking into the banquet hall unaware of what is happening, LLyL bumps into the postman. The postman looks at LLyL in a peculiar manner, inspecting him from head to toe, then whips out a large stamp and slaps a "DISAPPROVED" stamp on LLyL's forehead. Looking around, LLyL attempts to assess the situation, but the flying Slugeeball that LLyL did not see flying towards him from the rear beans him in the back of the head, rendering him unconscious. The guildies take advantage of the opportunity, and dive for the Slugeeball, but before they can get to it, it is recovered by...

 

Boaz, who upon grabbing it....looks around slyly....and laughing maniacally....rears back to throw it at the nearest group of Multimages....Everyone yells "NO...YOU IDIOT!!!!" at once......and watch on in horror as Boaz tosses it in their direction.....Half of them lose there lunch at the sight of the now flamesheild enchanted SluggeBall hit the middle of the group......it was especially bad when Boaz pulled out the oilflasks...... laughing like a lunatic the whole time.....

 

Joat walks over to Boaz and says, "Why did you do that?"

 

Boaz's reply, "Hey, What can I say....Madness ain't always cute.....hahahahaha..." and then yells..."Hey the spell should have worn off....." with that some of the remaining multimages dive for the ball....."Errr........guess I was wrong... it was still going....messy though.... ok now it is gone....."

 

One of the multimages hits the ball with a stick....and nothing explodes....unfortunately the ball was hit rather hard.....and LLyL is knocked out once again as he was getting up.....

 

the ball bounces around the room a couple more times and is recovered by...........

 

The POSTMAN! A whistle is blown and all action stops. A stamp is whipped out and the Sluggeball is stamped 'REVOKED' and the Postman says, "This was marked wrong. The paperwork was for a Slugeeball(which is TM) not a Sluggeball(pending TM, approved, revoked and now pending TM again). The paperwork will have to be refilled." The Sluggeball (pending/approved/revoked/pending TM) mutters something about his spleen, LLyL starts to rise groggily, Snypiuer is once again attempting to pull himself together and asking people if they've seen one part or another when a whistle is blown and the Sluggeball(pending/approved/revoked/pending TM) is tossed into the air . . . and all pandemonium breaks out! Many a scream, oooff and "for the love of humanity, someone please help me!" is heard, once again - mainly from the Sluggeball(pending/approved/revoked/pending TM), before the Sluggeball(pending/approved/revoked/pending TM) is recovered by. . . . .

 

Kraag the mighty barbarian!! who takes the SluggeBall (pending/approved/revoked/pending TM) in one hand and starts swinging around with his spiked club, meanwhile Lofwyr is casting the Summon Sluggeball(pending/approved/revoked/pending TM) players, he summons 100000 of them just like that *snaps fingers* and they starts wreaking havoc all around them, still waving around with his spiked club Kraag takes the Sluggeball(pending/approved/revoked/pending TM) in his mouth and starts building a goal in which to score, as he is finished he drops the SluggeBall (pending/approved/revoked/pending TM) to the ground, but to the rescue comes!!!......

 

Rosemary, surrounded by a group of oddly devoted mages. Her cheap version of Contract of the Soul had summoned all the devil-deleters to her side. They clustered around her, shielding her from the hordes of Dorian chanters, Grumpy chanters, Madness acolytes with anti-blue-cheese signs, Insanity acolytes with Illuminati Online T-shirts, phantasmal referees from the dreamplane, twice-risen undead with scarlet "D"s for Disapproved wage raises, summoned Sluggeball (p/a/r/p TM) players, and a rogue mage running through the Hall, fuzzy-backed APPROVED sticker sticking out of his collar, screaming about how he was going to end it all. She picks him up and lobs him towards the Altar of Drunkenness in an anachronistic slam-dunk (and without a pair of Reebok Pumps to be seen! dang carrots must've eaten them), but is intercepted in midair by. . .

 

Snypiuer, who (though not totally together -- but, 'working' through that stage) cries, "OUT DAMNED CARROTS!" and waves one hand, as all carrots but the righteous carrots are sent to oblivion.

 

 

 

SIDE BAR: As the guard took the gifts from Evalina's page, he remembers, "My Lord Maelstrom is at the Banquet Hall! I must haste and bring these gifts directly to him!"

 

 

 

Looking around, Snypiuer sees a . . .GOAL! Heading towards it, he stops. "KRAAG! YOU NINNY! That's an ANTI-goal! Any one scoring in there scores for the OTHER team!" Snypiuer ducks beneath a mighty swing! Snypiuer files away this information "Never call a barbarian a 'ninny'. He may not know what it is, he just doesn't like the sound of it." Fleeing for his life, Snypiuer turns to run. . .when he runs into, and over, some retainer of some mage. All Snypiuer hears is, "I'm looking for my Lord Maelstrom. I ha. . ." before he barrels into the hapless retainer who drops a bundle of objects. A cage with a small white dove in it is squashed under the mighty foot of Kraag, as he pursues Snypiuer, leaving behind naught but a smear of red, twisted metal and what little remains of the poor creature there was (basically, a smattering of blood tinged white feathers).

 

Before any thing untoward can happen to him, Snypiuer launches the Sluggeball(p/a/r/p TM) into a crowd of bystanders. Thinking himself safe, Snypiuer is not ready for Kraag's late hit. At this point, if there ARE any rules, a foul would be called. INSTEAD, Kraag takes it upon himself to jump up and down on the comatose form of Snypiuer until he gets bored and moves on. The thought of, "So that's what spleen tastes like." fires through the very few functioning synapses of the comatose mages brain.

 

Meanwhile, the Sluggeball(p/a/r/p TM) has been retrieved (at great cost) by. . . . .

 

Shurak! As he floats back to earth on the wings of his spell of flight, he pauses to hear the cheers of the cheerleaders, only to find that they've been Dora-ized. Muttering a string of dwarven epithets that make even the most hardened Banqueter/Players pale, Shurak seeks a way to vent his frustrations.

 

With an evil gleam in his eye, he lifts a wooden stool and tosses it over the heads of several guildies. Then, with a practiced... er... tongue, he utters a variant on plant growth, expanding the wood to 30 times its size! The satisfying squish allows him to smirk for a moment, until he notices the mess that was made of Maelstrom's gifts. A few key phrases here and there, and the parcel is reconstructed (bird and all, hope he likes zombie doves).

 

Satisfaction is short-lived as Boaz who, had recently been chucked by Minta slams him from behind!

 

SIDE BAR: Amid and amongst the tumultuous fray of extremely unsportsmanlike conduct, the little blue blob of official athletic equipment of Terra makes a valiant attempt to unfurl and uncurl himself and exercise his alternate roll as the officiating mage of the game (he is after all the official referee of reindeer games as well, ask Slugge, honest). Having produces the Holy Ancient Sacred Mystical Scroll of Rules from the folds of his tattered robes, he calls a foul on the barbarian with the club for creating an ungoal while being offside.

 

"Foul" screams the mutant Drow as he points to the barbarian with the club, who promptly swings, hitting a zombified dove, sending it hurling toward Nim. Small and swift, he evades the oncoming zombified dove as it passes overhead and hits one of several large, hairy-knuckled creatures who are making a go of stuffing the Dreamer Deceiver into a Dragon Skin sack.

 

Unable to dematerialize in time to avoid the manipulation of the hairy-knuckled folk, Nim is again smashed into a little ball(though this time not for sport) and thrown into the sack. As he is dragged, thudding and thumping across the Banquet Hall floor, a familiar squeak can be heard from within the sack sounding very much like "'ere we go agin!".

 

The Sluggeball(p/a/r/p TM) fumbles towards...

 

Gyrfalcon, who then finishes kicking the now downed Kraag in the head. Kraag was clutching himself and whimpering, oblivious to the world around him. Obviously, Boaz had been through the area recently. In fact, Gyrfalcon heard a Doppler scream of "YYYAGGGHHH!!!" as the dwarf rammed Gyrfalcon. Only the fact Gyrfalcon was wearing mithril mail under his shirt did he avoid being skewered by Boaz's helmet. The Sluggeball (p/a/r/p TM) pops free of them and is picked up by...

 

An errant Snypiuer part that has NO idea what it is doing. The errant Snypiuer part picks up the now (once again) dead zombified dove, feeds it to the Sluggeball(p/a/r/p TM) -- making sure it is completely devoured -- and deftly slides the Sluggeball(p/a/r/p TM) beneath the barbarian Kraag. The errant Snypiuer part then watches the carnage as EVERYONE dog piles Kraag in an attempt to regain the Sluggeball(p/a/r/p TM). Kraag is literally heard to scream like a woman before the Sluggeball (p/a/r/p TM) is brought forth in the hands of. . . . .

 

Gyrfalcon yet again! Working quickly, Gyrfalcon casts a spell of Invisibility on the Sluggeball (p/a/r/p tm), and then causes an illusion of it to appear on the other side of the Banquet Hall. The other players stampede in that direction, trampling the guilder hoards that had just appeared.

 

Gyrfalcon noticed a weak grip on his ankle and a high keening sound. Looking down, Gyrfalcon hastily steps off from where he was standing on Kraag. Kraag was clutching himself ever harder then before, probably because of where Gyrfalcon had been standing. Half-elves weigh in at about the same weight as humans, and when you have a full grown half-elf standing on a certain spot, the pain is excruciating.

 

Gyrfalcon suddenly realized that the Sluggeball was visible again, which meant....

 

"There it is! Get the half-elf! Kill the ! He's the one who led us on a wild DM/MD chase!" Shouted one of the mages. With a roar of anger, a large group of multi-mages surged forward.

 

Gyrfalcon quickly decides that surviving is more important then the ball. He quickly chucks the ball to the side as he prepares to meet the horde of angry mages.

 

As the first flares of magic appear, the ball is grabbed by...

 

Kraag's mother who grabs the ball in one hand and walks down to Gyrfalcon.

 

Gyrfalcon who sees the humongously huge barbarian in a pink dress towering up before him starts to shake like a little scared boy.

 

'dats the evil man dat hoit me, kill him mom!!'

 

Kraag squeaks from his place on the floor.

 

Gyrfalcon turns pale as ma Kraag lifts him upside down and bounce his head against the floor a few times, then (to the sadistic dwarfs amusement) throws him into a bunch of evil-looking multimages, walks away with the weeping Kraag over her shoulder and tosses the Sluggeball (p/a/r/p TM) to a pack of DM/MD's off in a corner. Unspeakable screams are heard from the Sluggeball (p/a/r/p TM), until it is expelled from the pack as a shivering and crying lump. Sheer terror is seen in it's eyes.

 

after making sure the Sluggeball(p/a/r/p) is still physically and mentally intact, it gets carefully picked up by....

 

Snypiuer (who has yet AGAIN pulled himself back together!), Well he DOESN'T actually pick it up. Instead he kicks it across the Banquet Hall (silly rabbit, emotional concern is for WHIMPS!), where it bounces off the wall and lands (with a scream) in a punch bowl of Ol' Peculiar. The crowd goes wild! A whistle is blown and a little man in prisoners clothes(?) steps out with his arms raised and saying, "One nimgulphel to Snypiuer!" The crowd explodes! Another whistle is blown and another little man comes out holding the screaming and horrified Sluggeball(p/a/r/p tm) -- it can't seem to decide which action was more horrible, but it is pretty definite that it WILL have post traumatic stress disorder for some time!

 

The two prisoners put their heads together and whisper for awhile until one steps to the middle of the Banquet Hall, cast some incantation using a box on his belt and speaks in a BOOMING voice to the ceiling(?), "After further review of the play, the nimgulphel is revoked!" Half the crowd boos, the other half cheers. They all throw stuff and a fight breaks out. After regaining order, he says, "The rules CLEARLY state that the only way a nimgulphel can ever be scored is if the Sluggeball(p/a/r/p tm) is not only APPROVED, but has never been given to a pack of DM/MD's (to do with as they will, and NEVER to be mentioned or comtimplated again) by a FEMALE barbarian!" Throughout this tirade, the prisoner seems to make hand signals (obviously for the hearing impaired). He continues, "Resume play!" he blows his whistle and tosses the Sluggeball(p/a/r/p tm) into a crowd of players, where it is retrieved by . . . . . .

 

Shurak! Who, just recently, had summoned enough of his hairy-knuckled goons to beat the everlasting hell out of Kraag and his family/acquaintances/peoplewhohaveheardofhim. The sounds of barbarians and mages mewling like babes fills the ears of those unfortunate enough to be near them. The hairy-knuckled goons vanish upon completion of their assigned duties.

 

The dwarf, having finally discovered the means of scoring, bobs and weaves through the crowd. Whether it is the scowl on his face, or the rather large axe in his hand, most of the guildies tend to try and avoid him, but to no avail. Mowing them down like wheat, he runs (not very directly) towards the Ol' Peculiar punchbowl. There are muffled squeaks from the Sluggeball (p/a/r/p tm) as the bowl nears.

 

Just as he's about to toss the Sluggeball (p/a/r/p tm) in, however, he is blindsided by the severed head of Kraag's mother, whose corpse was recently dismembered by an irate Gyrfalcon. Shurak is knocked out cold, and the Sluggeball(p/a/r/p tm) thumps off a few walls and into the waiting hands of...

 

The Dynamic Duo! Yes, Speak-No-Evil and Lord Bananaclese have abandoned the table they were cowering under (most likely because Kraag fell on it. . .) and have dragged the Sluggeball to a shadowy corner. All the Sluggeball(p/a/r/p tm) mutters is "So that's what spleen tastes like. . .".

 

Lord Bananaclese the DM/MD moves to tend the Sluggeball(p/a/r/p tm), quickly applying enough ice to build an igloo, making sure his limbs will hold by using an excessive amount of duct tape, and hands him another 2 Tylenol.

 

The mime, however, has been busy refilling out an application for the TM for the Sluggeball. Mailing it, he goes off in search of the second condition he must fill before the intrepid mages can score. . . . he knows he must find a mage to take Slugge's place, a mage who hasn't gotten quite so 'abused' by a pack of DM/MD's (who did such UNSPEAKABLE things that they are NEVER to be mentioned or contemplated again. EVER!). . . . .

 

SIDE BAR: Speak No Evil climbs up onto a table, with Lord Bananaclese scrambling up to perch atop the mime's head. Speak No Evil frantically scribbles onto a piece of Bristol board, and passes it up to the DM/MD. Lord 'clese holds it up, showing the following message to the rowdy Banquet Hall:

 

"WE NEED TO SCORE!!! NIM, WE NEED YOU!!! THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT PART: MAKE SURE YOU REMEMBER TO-"

 

But before anyone can finish reading the message, the disembodied head of Kraag's mom knocks over the table, and keeps rolling through the crowd.

 

The Dynamic Duo watch their hastily made sign float through the air, landing in a spilt oil flask near the door. The mime and the monkey look on in horror as a mage walks through the door, his fire elemental following close behind.

 

Chasing the Tylenol with a tun of Ol' Peculiar, Slugge quickly forms the Sluggeball(p/a/r/p tm) again, and rolls out into the middle of the hectic banquet hall, landing at the feet of. . . .

 

Gyrfalcon shook his head. The sight of a Sluggeball (p/a/r/p TM) being given over to a pack of DM/MD's (that did such HORRIBLE AND UNSPEAKABLE things to it. Things that are NEVER, EVER to me mentioned or contemplated EVER, EVER again), had NOT been pretty. Gyrfalcon picked up the head of Kraag's mother, just because it wasn't him, but the Sluggeball (p/a/r/p TM) that had been given over to DM/MD's (that did such VILE, HORRIBLE and UNSPEAKABLE things -- that ,of course, will NEVER, EVER be mentioned or contemplated EVER, EVER, EVER again), didn't mean he wasn't angry about it. Suddenly, the Sluggeball rolled up against his foot. It looked up at him and seeing the head of Kraag's mother, whimpered, "Not again!" but then noticed Kraag's and Kraag's mother's dismembered bodies and calmed down. Gyrfalcon tossed the head of Kraag's mother into the crowd before picking up the Sluggeball (p/a/r/p TM). However, enough multi-mages were heading for Gyrfalcon that he wisely decided it was best to chuck it somewhere else. It flew by the flaming mime and bunny, which Gyrfalcon helpfully put out. Then, after bouncing off a wall, it fell into the hands of...

 

Maralinda, who was racing after the Cheshire-cat antics of Nim, arms outstretched. Nim fades out and Slugge falls into his place. She pushes him away impatiently. He, deflected, flies through the fire elemental, catches on fire, and extinguishes himself in a growing pile of dung, atop which stands Lord David as he espouses his views (contributing to the pile in the process).

 

Rosemary leaps to his rescue, brandishing her anthracite amulet in the face of any and all white mages in the area. She hauls the Sluggeball(p/a/r/p tm) out of the manure, only to have him snatched out of her hands by. . .the postman? No, it's Dan Quayle, holding the extra-e Slugeeball(no tm).

 

The crowd slows to an astonished halt as Quayle expertly juggles the nearly identical pair! Oh, if only Uoiea the vowel mage were here, to remove the excess e and allow them to play with two Sluggeballs(p/a/r/p tm) at once! Rosemary is not daunted, however, as she rearranges part of the Altar of Drunkenness to form a misspelled slugeegumphel. Dan Quayle launches the pair into the air with a cry of "Tim ine!" One gets wedged in the rafters, but the other falls and hits the head of. . .

 

One of the prisoners, who blows his whistle. Once again, he does an incantation using the box by his side and says to the ceiling (?!), "End of the first emphnel!"

 

*at the same time*

 

Lofwyr mumbles something that may either be an ancient tongue of demon language or just very foul cursing.

 

Lofwyr resurrects Kraag´s mom and walks out the banquet hall's doors with them and otherwise not interfering with the game at all.

Edited by: Minta Rose at: 11/24/01 10:20:52 pm

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Ahhh... this just makes me heartsick. In another Nimball game, I met the love of my life... who later STABBED ME IN THE BACK! (That's what happens when you fall in love with sports equipment.)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Sign in to follow this  

×
×
  • Create New...